


catch me if you can (if you wanna see me again)

by forbiddenquill



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Pretend Relationship, Slow Burn, fake dating au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-01-25 12:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 135,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21355939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forbiddenquill/pseuds/forbiddenquill
Summary: Fake Dating AU: Nayeon needs a date for her friend's wedding—thankfully, Mina arrives right on time to save the day. As she always does.-“Can you pretend to be my girlfriend for a wedding?”Mina stares at her. “What?”“Be my girlfriend,” Nayeon repeats with every ounce of patience she can muster, “Just for three days. It’s my friend's stupid wedding and she invited my ex along. I really don’t want to show up looking single so you know—”“So you’re asking me—” Mina points to herself with her face growing increasingly confused “—to fake date you so that you won’t look miserable and lonely while your ex is with someone else, right?”-(or alternatively, Nayeon dives into a fake relationship with her co-worker, without realizing that Mina has been in love with her for a while now.)
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Son Chaeyoung, Hirai Momo/Myoui Mina, Hirai Momo/Yoo Jeongyeon, Im Nayeon/Jennie Kim, Im Nayeon/Myoui Mina, Kim Dahyun/Lee Gahyeon, Minatozaki Sana/Park Jisoo | Jihyo, Past Mimo and Jennie/Nayeon
Comments: 219
Kudos: 1777
Collections: fav long





	1. pretty face

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xylomylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xylomylo/gifts).

> Title comes from TWICE's 'Hot' with the infamous Minayeon bridge. 
> 
> I'll gradually post the rest of the chapters tonight. I just got home really late lmao. I can't even cope with my own deadlines. What a fucking clown. Also, if you didn't know, the reason why I'm posting tonight is because I made a bet that if Minayeon won their part of the popular ship poll in Twitter, then I'd post my 70k Minayeon fic tonight. And since it's so massive, I decided to split it up. 
> 
> Head's up! A lot happens in this story so buckle up and enjoy the ride!
> 
> Dedicated to xylomyloo because their Minayeon fic was one of the first I've ever read and it was what led me down the rabbit hole of angst and tragedy. I hope you enjoy!

_Do you know her?_   
_The girl that looks to you_   
_And would you love her?_   
_The way that she loved you_

_And would you be there?_   
_To help her push on through_   
_And would you know her?_   
_If she didn't know you_

_\- _PUBLIC, Pretty Face

...

Nayeon’s late again. It’s not the first time this has happened but she has an important meeting with the Marketing Director at 9 AM (it’s already been five minutes past) where she has to pitch an idea to improve their sales. However, her stupid Maserati had to break down and there was a malfunction during the train ride. It’s not looking too good. Nayeon curses the Almighty Being looking down at her right now, probably laughing gleefully at her misfortune. 

She bolts through the front doors of the company building and rushes towards the elevator. A few employees step out of her warpath. Thank God nobody is around to hog the ride. She pushes the button to her floor, arranges her hair and applies some lipstick. Wouldn’t want to look like a mess right now. Fuck, she doubts she even has enough time to make her usual cup of coffee—she needs a power-up to breeze through her presentation.

Realising she’ll have to make do without one, she straightens her back when the elevator nears her floor. Her heart pounds. A promotion is on the line here. She’s already had a bad start to her day. Just _brilliant_. 

The elevator door slides open. Somebody is already waiting on the other side, holding a cup of coffee in one hand. “Bought you some time,” Myoui Mina, her soft-spoken coworker, says, “Mr. Park is in his office, entertaining a client. You can still prepare for your presentation.” 

Nayeon sags with relief as she takes the cup. “You’re a lifesaver,” she says, rushing into the conference room. Thankfully, nobody is inside. They’re probably waiting for Mr. Park’s cue. Mina follows after her. 

“The laptop’s already hooked into the machine,” the younger girl says, “You just need to insert your drive.”

Nayeon is so touched by the gesture she nearly cries. “How did you know that I was going to be late?” 

“I didn’t,” Mina mumbles, looking away, “I just know how important today is for you.” 

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best coworker I could’ve ever asked for?” 

Too busy sipping her coffee, Nayeon misses the way Mina’s cheeks turn red. “Thank you, unnie.” 

“Oh wow,” the older girl mumbles, glancing at the coffee, “That’s better than how I make it.” 

Mina nods, a serious expression crossing her features. “I have to get back to work,” she says, raising a fist, “Good luck on your presentation. You can do it!”

Thanks to the coffee and the boost of confidence from Mina, Nayeon nails the whole thing. Mr. Park shakes her hand, leans in and whispers into her ear about a job opening for the higher ups in the department. He tells her to watch out for it and goes on ahead to say he likes her enthusiasm and colourful ideas. Nayeon can’t stop beaming. Even though her day started out horribly, it all worked out in the end. 

She has Mina, her guardian angel, to thank for. 

…

(Mina is a little whipped for her co-worker.)

...

When Nayeon met Mina a little over a year ago after sharing one elevator ride together, they immediately hit it off. Well, Nayeon believes they did—since Mina started helping her out with a few work-related things afterwards. Like reminding her of a few deadlines, covering for her every time she’s late and sometimes eating lunch with her. They’re from different departments but for some reason, Mina’s always at Nayeon’s immediate vicinity. It helps that their offices are just adjacent with each other.

“How was it?” Mina asks later that day as they catch up over lunch. 

Nayeon grins, showing off her bunny teeth. “It went great, thanks to you.”

A satisfied expression crosses the younger girl’s face. “That’s good. Mr. Park is hard to please sometimes.” 

“Not unless you’re pretty like me.” 

They both laugh. Again, Nayeon misses the way Mina’s fingers tighten around the glass of water in her hand. “Haha, yeah. Pretty,” the younger woman murmurs under her breath.

…

(_The prettiest_, Mina thinks to herself.)

...

It’s been like this for a while now. Every time Nayeon has a problem, Mina is always there with the solution. It’s kind of funny and it sometimes makes her wonder if the younger girl has some sort of sixth sense. Or maybe it’s just a coincidence. There was one time Nayeon was in the middle of an important call, she couldn’t find a pen to jot down some vital information. Mina showed up out of nowhere and handed her one. Another time, Nayeon couldn’t get her computer to start up, no matter how many times she pressed the power button. By her third attempt, she was already looking for Mina who somehow miraculously appeared by her side and did her magic. The computer was fine. Nayeon’s admiration for the younger girl grew—Mina is her guardian angel, after all. 

When Nayeon is in need, she knows Mina will be there to save the day. 

…

(Mina’s eyes are always following Nayeon.

Her ears are always attuned to Nayeon’s voice. 

Her nose always picks up on Nayeon’s sweet perfume.

It’s been like this—ever since Nayeon smiled at her that day in the elevator_._)

...

“Wait,” Nayeon says during her lunch break, rubbing her face tiredly, “Chaeyoung-ah’s getting married? To whom? I didn’t even know she _had _a girlfriend!” 

Jihyo, one of her closest friends back home, sighs from the other end of the call. “Yes,” she says, “She’s only known her for six months but she insists that they’re in love. Never mind that, you’ll get to meet Tzuyu once you get here. She’s actually a sweetie—" 

"—or an idiot since she accepted Chae's proposal after knowing her for only _six months_?" Nayeon interrupts unhelpfully. The little runt has always been known for making rash decisions; she just hopes this isn't one of them. 

"_Anyway_," Jihyo goes on, ignoring the older one's comment, "it would mean a lot to her if you could come even though the wedding is literally two weeks away. My head hurts just thinking about how spontaneous this whole thing is. Thank God I'm not their wedding planner." 

"Who is, then?" 

"Tzuyu and her maid-of-honor Elkie took charge. As long as Dahyun and Chaeyoung aren’t handling anything, then we'll be fine.”

Nayeon knows all too well the disastrous consequences Dahyun and Chaeyoung often find themselves in whenever they take charge. It’s not that Dahyun’s irresponsible—she’s actually a lot more responsible than all of them combined. It’s just that every responsible bone she has in her body gets thrown out the window when it comes to Chaeyoung.

“Anyway,” Jihyo presses, “are you coming or not?”

“I’ve nearly used up all of my sick leaves,” Nayeon whines. Still, her mind has trouble processing this information. Son Chaeyoung, one of her dearly beloved friends, is getting married? She’s a few years younger than Nayeon and already has life all worked out—complete with an amazing job as a graphic artist and a deluxe apartment with one of her oldest friends, Kim Dahyun. And now she’s getting _married_? The fact makes her squirm. Meanwhile, here she is—still at the bottom of the corporate ladder. Pathetic. 

A wedding that’s in two weeks? It practically screams Son Chaeyoung. Plus, the fact that Chae asked Jihyo to break the news to her seems awfully_ suspicious_...

“Find a way,” Jihyo says disapprovingly, “You wouldn’t want to disappoint Chaeyoung now, would you?” 

Nayeon lets out a soft sigh. “Fine,” she relents, “Who else is going to be there?” 

“The usual gang. I've already sent an invite to Jeongyeon. Dahyun will be there, of course. She's Chae's best man or maid-of-honor, not sure. And then Jennie, Yeri, Somi—” 

A cold fist squeezes Nayeon’s heart. “_What_?” she nearly yells into the receiver, catching the attention of a few people in the break room. She hastily waves them away. “Jennie like _Kim Jennie_? The same Jennie who dumped me a year ago? _She’s _coming to the wedding?” 

“Yes,” Jihyo says with a hint of exasperation and worry in her tone, “Apparently, her new girlfriend is friends with Tzuyu. Remember Jisoo?”

Nayeon grips her phone tightly, willing herself not to break the damn thing. _Of course _she remembers Jisoo. The girl Jennie left her for. _Fuck_. They’re going to be at the wedding? _Both _of them? “Are you fucking kidding me?” she demands, completely forgetting whose on the other end of the conversation. Anger flares up in her chest, hot and boiling. 

“_Nabongs_,” Jihyo tuts.

“Sorry.” She isn’t. “I just can’t believe Chaeyoung invited her…” 

“It’s her wedding—she can do whatever she wants.” 

“Great.” Nayeon narrows her eyes. “Is this why _you’re _the one telling me this? Because Chae knows I would kill her on the spot once I found out?” 

“Probably?”

“Good—at least her two braincells are working.”

Jihyo sighs. "She wants Tzuyu to be happy, that's why she let her invite Jennie and Jisoo."

Son Chaeyoung, while fucking dense most of the time, does have a romantic streak to her, Nayeon has to admit. "And what about _my _happiness?" she still grumbles.

"Last I checked, this was _Chaeyoung's _wedding. Not yours." 

"Well, _you're_ not invited to my future wedding then!" Nayeon says dramatically, rolling her eyes and then forgetting that Jihyo can't see. 

Jihyo groans. "I can't imagine anyone who'd be stupid enough to marry you." 

"Now you're just being rude." 

“_Nabongs,_" Jihyo growls and Nayeon can imagine her signature glare, "you’re one of the bridesmaids. This is really important for Chae.” Suddenly, her tone grows soft. “I’m sorry about what happened between you and Jennie. Just…deal with it until the wedding’s over, okay? Besides, Chaeyoung told me to tell you that you can bring anybody along. Especially if it’s a girlfriend. Is there someone you have in mind?” 

The door to the break room swings open and Mina steps inside, scanning the space before her eyes immediately land on Nayeon, who's already staring at her with an idea forming in her head. 

“Why, yes, Jihyo-yah!” she says into the phone, grinning wickedly at her coworker who only gives her a confused look, “I have someone in mind.” 

…

(The devious smile on Nayeon’s face is dangerous at best but Mina can’t find it in herself to look away.)

...

“Can you pretend to be my girlfriend for a wedding?” 

Mina stares at her. “What?” 

“Be my girlfriend,” Nayeon repeats with every ounce of patience she can muster, “Just for three days. It’s my friend's stupid wedding and she invited my ex along. I really don’t want to show up looking single so you know—” 

“So you’re asking _me—_” Mina points to herself with her face growing increasingly confused “—to fake date you so that you won’t look miserable and lonely while your ex is with someone else, right?” 

It’s the end of their shift and Nayeon has cornered Mina in the photocopier room. Since Mina’s the type of person who works overtime nearly every single day, it wasn’t hard to figure out where she was. Nayeon didn’t tell her about her plan earlier during lunch since a coworker needed Mina’s help with something important and she was still busy discussing with Jihyo about wedding details. But Nayeon now stands with her back against the door to the room, intent on not letting Mina leave unless she gets her way. She’s not too worried about it—the younger girl has always been there for her. 

Which is why it shocks her to the core when Mina schools her expression into a neutral one and shakes her head. “No,” she states blankly. 

“Eh?” Nayeon’s mouth drops open. “But—” She actually doesn’t have a good reason as to why Mina should pretend to date her for the sake of her pride so she settles on one of her trademark aegyo expressions. “_Please_?” 

“Nayeonnie, no offence, but I only know you from work.” Mina shifts her gaze downwards, clearly avoiding the look on her colleague's face. “I know that we’re friends and all but I don’t know you well enough to be your girlfriend, even if it is a pretend one.”

“That’s why we’re going to spend _every _waking moment together!” Nayeon exclaims excitedly, cheeks all flushed, “We’ll get to know each other, you get free food from the wedding and I can show Jennie that she didn’t hurt me when she dumped me for Jisoo!” 

“Well,” Mina says blandly, “it’s obvious she did.” 

Nayeon pouts her lips. “Please?” she tries again, taking a step closer, “I promise to repay you. I just…I don’t want to look like an idiot out there.” 

“Don’t you have other friends who can pretend better than me?” Mina questions incredulously, crossing her arms, “I mean—I’m not really good at lying, Nayeon.” 

The older girl lets out a huge sigh. “Jennie knows all of my friends. She doesn’t know _you_.” 

“Maybe she shouldn’t—she seems like a bitch.” 

Nayeon falters. “Well,” she begins, “she wasn’t always one.”

“Do you still love her?” 

The question takes Nayeon by surprise. She looks up, eyes wide, and meets Mina’s curious gaze. Her heart suddenly picks up. “Uh,” she says, glancing away, “I don’t. I mean I used to, of course, but I just don’t want her to look at me with pity or anything like that.”

The lie _stings._

Mina is quiet for several long seconds. She’s staring at Nayeon with a strange look on her face. “I’ll think about it,” she says, dropping her arms and managing a smile, albeit forced, “I have to get back to work. I’ll text you my answer.” 

“Let me have your number then,” Nayeon says, pulling her phone out. As she watches Mina type in the digits, she asks, “Isn’t it weird that we don’t really hang out outside of work? I mean, you’ve saved my ass a hundred times already. We’ve known each other for nearly a year.” 

Mina just hums, shrugging her shoulders. “We’re busy women,” she says, looking up and handing Nayeon her phone back.

“Right.” The older girl glances down at her contacts, completely missing the way Mina’s stare lingers on her. “Busy women. I’ll see you around then?” She injects the last word with the right amount of hope. 

Mina just smiles. “We’ll see.”

…

(After Nayeon leaves the photocopier room, Mina drops her head against the wall and lets out an agonized sigh. _What on earth am I doing_?)

…

Nayeon remembers the reason why she and Mina don’t spend time outside of work. She spends her after-hours in a bar with Jeongyeon, her best friend, who works as a nurse in the nearest public hospital. They spend their time in bars just to catch up with each other and for Jeongyeon to loosen up since she spends the entire day being on her feet. 

This time, Nayeon’s the one who needs a drink. Her phone is open in her hand, showing the recent Instagram pictures of Jennie and Jisoo—all happy and cuddly it honestly makes her want to wring her hair out. Jeongyeon watches her carefully, one hand on her shot glass and clearly ready to jump into action in case the older woman does something stupid. Like call her ex and beg her to get back together. Thankfully, Nayeon does no such thing. She drowns her tequila in one go, slams the glass back on the table and throws her phone back into her bag. 

“I’m getting my revenge,” she declares. 

Jeongyeon stares at her, already used to her friend’s antics. “Are you going to crash the wedding?"

“What? _No_. I would never do that to Chaeng.” Nayeon lets out a satisfied purr. “You see, I’m going to make Jennie see what she’s missing out on.” 

“Look, Nabongs, I know how much she hurt you but you have to admit—your relationship wasn’t really getting anywhere,” her friend points out frankly, “All you did was argue and fuck." 

Nayeon pouts, even though there is some truth to her words. “It was a two-year relationship, Jeong,” she tries to explain, crossing her arms and looking away, “You don’t just throw that away.”

“If it isn’t going anywhere, you should.” 

“I don’t want to have this conversation.” Nayeon is an expert at dodging heavy emotions—she’s always been so overdramatic when it comes to the important things. When her break-up with Jennie occurred, she tried not to let it get to her. 

Pretending can only work for so long, after all. 

“Fine.” Jeongyeon pours her a drink. “How are you going to get your revenge?”

“I’ve gotten myself a girlfriend, thank you very much.” 

Jeongyeon actually stops to look at her. “Seriously?” she asks. “_That _quickly? What kind of idiot would agree to go out with you? It took you two years to actually get Jennie to say yes, remember?” 

Nayeon resists the urge to throw a drink at her. "Shut up," she grumbles, looking put off, "You're coming too, right?" 

Jeongyeon nods. "Of course. It's Chaeyoung. I'd lay down my life for her. NoJam Bro Code." She pumps her fist on her chest and presses two fingers against her lips, a move she and Chae always did as kids. "I fucking adore her."

"Not as much you adore me, right?"

"_Nabongs,_" the short-haired girl says menacingly, letting out a sigh, "Sometimes, all you do is give me a headache." 

“You and me both.” Nayeon leans back and sips her drink. “I can’t believe she’s getting married before us.” 

Jeongyeon hums, thinking about it. “Chae’s always been unpredictable,” she says, “Do you remember the time she showed up to one of our gatherings with _tattoos_? I thought Jihyo was going to have an aneurysm.”

“Pretty sure she did.” 

“I didn’t even know she had a girlfriend.” 

“Same here.” Nayeon lets out a sigh, suddenly feeling very miserable. “She’s growing up so fast.”

Jeongyeon nods, growing quiet. “So, who’s this new girlfriend of yours?” 

It’s a risky calculated move. Mina hasn’t even agreed to being her fake girlfriend yet. Besides, if she tells Jeongyeon about her little plan, there’s a possibility she could slip the truth to Chaeyoung who in turn might tell her fiancé, who might tell Jisoo later in the end. But Nayeon has always been bad at math. So she pulls out her phone from her bag again and opens Mina’s Instagram account. There’s not much in it—save for a few selfies and little snippets of her life. She sees a dog's nose poking out from one of the pictures with the caption “_Ray <3” _underneath it.

Jeongyeon raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t that your co-worker?” 

“Yes.” 

“I didn’t know she had a thing for you.”

“Nobody knows they have a thing for me until they get to know me,” Nayeon remarks. 

“Jesus.” Jeongyeon actually looks like she wants to slam her head against the table. Thankfully, she resists and grabs Nayeon’s phone from her hand. She peruses through the contents, a small frown on her face. “How come you don’t have any pictures together?” 

“Our relationship is a fairly recent development,” Nayeon says.

“How recent?”

“A month ago.” The lies passes through her teeth with ease. 

“Huh.” Jeongyeon looks like she doesn’t believe her but she gives Nayeon her phone back anyway. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Mina is a very private person.”

"So you just magically get a girlfriend around the same time you find out your ex is going to your friend's wedding," the nurse says thoughtfully, "Isn't that too much of a coincidence?" 

Nayeon shrugs, trying not to let her best friend see the panic in her eyes. "You call it a coincidence," she says, flipping her hair over her shoulder, "I call it fate." 

When she looks back down at her phone, she sees that Mina has posted a picture in that exact same moment. It’s an image of the moon in the night sky, partially hidden behind some clouds and surrounded by a light sprinkle of stars. Basically a generic picture Nayeon sees every now and then. What catches her attention, however, is the caption underneath the photo: “_Say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime. Lead me, save me from my solitude. Say you want me with you, here beside you. Anywhere you go, let me go, too. Love me, that’s all I ask of you. - Phantom of the Opera, 2004._”

Five minutes later, Nayeon receives a text.

**Myoui Mina (8:46 PM)**

I’ll see you tomorrow at work, girlfriend. 

…

(_Fuck, fuck, fuck. _Mina shuts her phone off and goes back to playing her video game. She dies right after being spawned into the battlefield.)

...

Despite what everybody thinks, Nayeon is a good colleague. 

Which is why she woke up at an insanely early hour just to grab two cups of coffee and some bagels from the bakery down the street. She grumbled the whole time, especially when the person behind the cashier took too long in counting her change. Now she’s sitting on a bench in front of the company building with her phone in hand and her coffee half-empty in the other.

Mina usually arrives ten minutes before their usual clock-in but Nayeon doesn’t want to miss her or anything so she came twenty minutes early. 

When the clock on her phone strikes 7:50 AM, Nayeon spots Mina emerging from a crowd of commuters, head ducked down and hands tucked into her coat pockets. The older girl grins, rising to her feet and hurrying to catch up to her colleague.

“Morning, girlfriend,” she greets cheerfully, handing Mina the other cup of coffee and matching her pace as they enter through the front doors of the company. 

Mina looks up, surprised. “Nayeonnie.” Her eyes travel to the bag of bagels. “You’re here early.” 

She still hasn’t taken the coffee so Nayeon pushes it into her hand and shrugs her shoulders. “I wanted to thank you,” she says, smiling, “for agreeing to this whole fiasco.”

“You don’t really have to,” Mina mumbles. 

“I wanted to.” 

“Okay.” 

They clock in. It’s Nayeon’s first time being ahead of time—she kind of likes how it makes her feel productive. Then they take the elevator. It’s quiet. Mina’s gaze is firmly locked on her shoes, as if willing some hole to open up and swallow her whole. Nayeon doesn’t mind; Mina has always been quiet and soft-spoken. She guesses she’ll have to do the talking. 

“What’s your favorite color?” she asks, taking a bagel from the paper bag and offering it to Mina. After a moment of hesitation, her colleague takes it. 

“Mint green,” Mina answers, taking a small bite, “Is this us getting to know each other now?” 

“Well, yeah.” Nayeon leans against the elevator walls. Their floor is quite a way up, which means they have some time for themselves. “I wouldn’t want to look like an idiot who doesn’t even know her girlfriend’s favorite color.” 

She doesn’t notice the way Mina’s eyes are fixed on her reflection in the elevator doors. “What’s yours?” 

“Hmmm. Purple.” 

“Really?” Mina hums, taking a sip of the coffee Nayeon bought. She wrinkles her nose. “This has too much sugar in it.” 

Nayeon gasps, feigning offense. It was a gamble, anyway. She didn’t know how Mina liked to take her coffee so she just asked the barista to make their best selling one. Apparently, Mina doesn’t like her coffee sweet. She takes this information in her head and tucks it away for future purposes. 

“I’ll try again tomorrow,” she says, cracking a grin at the surprise on Mina’s face, “I liked the way you made that coffee yesterday so I’ll take this challenge.” 

“So you getting me coffee and bagels is going to be a daily thing too?” 

“Like I said, Myoui.” The elevator doors finally slide open. Nayeon pushes her body off the wall and sends a wink to her colleague, who actually looks like her brain just suffered a malfunction, “we’re going to spend every waking moment _together_. That is, until the wedding, anyway.”

“You and I work in different departments,” Mina points out, sounding skeptical but still following after the woman regardless, “What are you going to do—ask to be transferred?” 

Nayeon rolls her eyes. “I can be with you through technology,” she says, “so expect to get a bunch of texts from me.”

“That’s against company rules—” 

“What they don’t know won’t kill them.” 

Mina looks like she’s going to argue again but shakes her head instead. She must’ve remembered just how persistent Nayeon can be. Exhibit A: when Nayeon somehow convinced everybody to go to mountain trekking instead of a water park for their company team building activity. Exhibit B: when the older girl pouted and whined her way just to get a free lunch from a coworker. Exhibit C: when she managed to actually convince Mina to pretend date her for a wedding. 

Im Nayeon is one relentless woman.

“I’ll see you later at lunch,” Nayeon tells Mina, fluttering her eyelashes, “Also, don’t work overtime today—we’re going somewhere.” 

“Where?”

“On a date.”

Mina nearly chokes on her coffee. “A _date_?” she repeats, her eyes wide. 

Nayeon smirks. “Of course,” she coos, already walking towards her table, “How else am I supposed to get to know you?”

…

(It’s everything Mina wants.

At the same time, it isn’t.)

…

**Im Nayeon (9:36 AM)**

wyd

**Myoui Mina (9:37 AM)**

Working.

**Im Nayeon (9:40 AM)**

cats or dogs? 

**Myoui Mina (9:41 AM)**

Are you seriously going to interrupt my work by asking such mundane questions about my interests?

**Im Nayeon (9:44 AM)**

ooohhh big words eh 

**Im Nayeon (9:48 AM)**

r u not going to answer me 

**Im Nayeon (9:50 AM)**

👿

**Myoui Mina (9:51 AM)**

Dogs.

Nayeon grins down at Mina’s reply. Then she turns back to her computer and starts looking for the nearest restaurants to bring your pretend girlfriend for a first date. Restaurants that don’t need a three-day advance reservation, anyway.

…

(Mina can’t focus. Not when her phone vibrates every few minutes with another mundane question she’s pretty sure Nayeon just got from personality quizzes all over the internet.

_R u a dusk or dawn person?_

Mina needs to focus.

She replies anyway.) 

…

Nayeon realizes that Mina works in the IT Department later that day when work ends and her pretend girlfriend still hasn’t replied to her text. She sighs in annoyance, stands from her table and walks over to the office adjacent to their own. A few coworkers are leaving, having finished work for the day. She nods politely at them, her eyes scanning each cubicle for one Myoui Mina. She finds her half a minute later, right in the corner of the office space and tucked away from anybody else’s wandering view. Some colleagues wave at Mina and she absentmindedly waves back, still focused on her work. 

Nayeon frowns, making her way over. 

Mina’s stare is fixed intently on the screen while her fingers type furiously on the keyboard. Her eyebrows are furrowed in concentration. Her long hair is tucked in a high ponytail above her head, showing off her neck and collarbone. As Nayeon nears, she can’t help but let her eyes wander before refocusing her attention back to the screen on Mina’s computer. It’s full of numbers and codes. 

“What’s that?” she asks.

Mina jumps, looking shocked. “Don’t sneak up on me like that,” she says with a pout. Then she frowns. “Wait, what are you doing here?”

“It’s 5:05 PM,” Nayeon points out. 

“So what if it’s—” Understanding dawns on Mina’s face and she balks. “Oh right. The date.” 

Nayeon crosses her arms, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. “You’re a terrible pretend girlfriend, Ms. Myoui,” she says, “Plus, it’s _our _date.” 

Mina sighs and shuts off her computer. “Sorry,” she mumbles, “I lost track of time.”

“Make it up to me later.”

“How? Aren’t _you _paying for dinner?” 

Nayeon scowls, pretending to be scandalized. “Don’t push it,” she warns. She steps back and waits for Mina to collect her belongings. After that, they both walk towards the elevator, letting the silence take over. 

To be completely honest, there’s an awkward tension in the air. Even though she and Mina have been friends for nearly a year now, it occurs to her that she hasn’t really taken the time to get to know her co-worker for real. All she knows about Myoui Mina before this whole fake dating fiasco is that she’s Nayeon’s guardian angel, she likes ketchup on her food and she knows how to make a good cup of coffee. 

Other than that? Nothing.

Well, now she knows Mina’s favorite color is mint green, she likes dogs, she prefers staying at home rather than going out, she has a variety of games installed on her computer and she’s a dusk person. It’s not much but it’s a start. Nayeon needs to know all that she can before the wedding comes. Besides, maybe after everything dies down, she and Mina can remain good friends. 

“Where are we going?” Mina asks once the elevator doors slide open. 

Nayeon hums, running her fingers through her hair. “There’s a restaurant by the docks,” she shares, “that I’ve been wanting to try out. I just haven’t had the right company.” 

Mina smiles, her eyes crinkling at the sides. “So, I guess I’m the lucky one, huh?”

Nayeon cracks a grin and reaches forward to encircle a hand around Mina’s wrist. “You bet,” she says and leads the way, “Our reservation is in an hour. Want to take a walk with me?” 

…

(_The lucky one_, Mina thinks to herself as she watches Nayeon coo at a baby in a stroller, _is the one who gets to be with you for real_.) 

…

“So,” Nayeon begins as she finishes off her plate off her bulgogi, “how are we going to do this?” 

Mina looks up from her stir-fried noodles and raises both eyebrows in response. “Do what?” 

“This pretend thing.” Nayeon pats her lips with a napkin, completely oblivious to the way Mina’s face falls just now. “Like I think we should set some rules, right?” 

“Right.” When Nayeon looks up, Mina’s expression is unreadable. 

This is an important turning point for the two of them. Nayeon doesn’t want to unnecessarily burden Mina with how she acts around the people she dates. When she and Jennie were together, Jeongyeon constantly looked like she had barfed in her mouth due to their excessive fluff. Nayeon’s always been the clingy one, the type of person who doesn’t care about public displays of affection, the kind of girlfriend who’d whine and pout if she doesn’t have a hand to hold. 

“How do you feel about hand holding?” Nayeon begins. They’re seated in the table facing each other and she can’t help but stare. 

Myoui Mina has always been one of the prettiest colleagues in the company. With long chestnut-colored hair, warm brown eyes and that cute gummy smile, she looks like a runway model on her way to steal the hearts of everybody around her. Nayeon has always found her to be attractive but sitting in front of her now in the middle of a restaurant, she can’t help but wonder how it’d feel to actually date her. 

Mina shrugs. “I’m okay with it,” she says, “but I’m not the type of person who does it first.” 

“Good.” Nayeon beams at her. “Because I totally am.” 

“That doesn’t surprise me.” Mina puts her chin on her hand, smiling softly. “It’ll take me awhile to get used to, though, so forgive me if I suddenly give you a deer-caught-in-the-headlights look.” 

“That sounds like an invitation to hold your hand at all possible times,” Nayeon shoots, winking. 

Mina blinks. “It does, huh?” 

“Do you want me to?”

Silence. Mina lets out a sigh. “If it’ll help me get used to it, then why not?” She fixes Nayeon with a look. “I agreed to help you not make a fool of yourself. I think I should be the best pretend-girlfriend out there, right?”

Nayeon smiles, liking Mina a thousand times more than usual. “You have no idea how much this really means to me,” she says, leaning forward, “Like, Jennie and I were together for two years.” 

“What happened?” 

“Oh, you know.” Nayeon’s heart constricts at the thought. It was inevitable, really. After they passed their one-year anniversary, things started falling apart. Jennie got a lot busier with her job, Nayeon didn’t see much of her anymore, the fights were only resolved through sex and no communication. Then Jennie met Jisoo and dumped Nayeon. That was the end of that. 

Nayeon pushes down the hurt, anger and longing that threatens to overwhelm her.

“You know what?” Mina asks, bringing Nayeon’s attention back to her. 

She smiles. “We fell out of love.” She pretends like the words don’t sting, like it still doesn’t hurt her, a year later. 

“When was this?” 

“A little more than a year ago.” 

Mina hums, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “So that explains it,” she says.

“Explains what?” Nayeon moves her chair closer. 

“The fact that you’re single.” Mina’s eyes move away as she takes a sip of her wine. “Everybody at the office has a crush on you. I’m pretty sure the guys in my department are always praying that your computer crashes so that they can help you out.” 

The image of her male colleagues waiting impatiently for her desktop to crash causes her to laugh out loud. It’s enough to get her to stop thinking about Jennie. Mina, a little bit startled by the sheer volume of it, lets out a soft giggle. “Sorry,” Nayeon amends later on, hiding her bunny smile behind her hand, “I just didn’t notice. Besides, it’s always you who’s fixing my computer.” 

“The company needs to invest in better ones,” Mina grumbles. 

“Fact.” Nayeon sighs happily. “But thank you for always looking out for me.” 

Mina gives her the deer-caught-in-headlights-look she mentioned earlier. “I—er, what?”

Nayeon grins. “It’s just,” she starts, “you’ve been there for me ever since we met last year. Like helping me with my computer, covering for me when I’m late, eating lunch with me and stuff like that. Plus, you seriously saved my life yesterday.” 

If Nayeon looks closer, she’d see the blush on Mina’s cheeks. But she doesn’t look closer, too busy playing around with her own wine glass as she mulls over her fond memories of Myoui Mina. Her guardian angel. The one person who can somehow sense that she’s in trouble and actually reach out to help.

There are rarely any people left in the world as pure and good as Mina. 

“It’s not a problem,” Mina mutters, tucking her hair behind her ear, “I just—well, I knew that your presentation yesterday meant that a promotion was on the line.” 

Nayeon giggles. “It did,” she says, “so thank you for that.” 

Now it’s Mina’s turn to beam at her, her cheeks puffing out. “No problem.” 

A brief pause crosses over them. 

“What about kissing?” Nayeon asks bluntly. 

The table suddenly jolts, spilling Mina’s drink over the table. Nayeon blinks, realizing half a second later that her colleague actually hit the underside of the table with her knee. She watches with mild amusement as Mina hurriedly uses her napkin to wipe off the spill, her cheeks darkening considerably. A waiter drops by and helps her. It’s a few minutes of intense blushing, apologizing and not looking at each other in the eye, but once everything dies down, Nayeon waits for Mina to finally glance back into her direction.

The deer-in-the-headlights-look is back. 

“Sorry,” Nayeon says, grinning broadly and not sounding sorry at all, “did I say something wrong?”

Mina fans her face, looking away. “Er,” she says, “no, you didn’t. I was just surprised.” 

“Don’t tell me you haven’t had your first kiss yet,” Nayeon chides. 

Silence is all that she gets as Mina’s entire face turns crimson red. 

“_Oh_.” Nayeon blinks, caught off guard. She shouldn’t be _that _surprised though. Mina looks like the type of person who likes to keep to herself. Still, she at least expected Mina to have gone on a few dates here and there. “Seriously?” 

“An opportunity hasn’t come up,” Mina tries to argue even though her voice wavers at the wide-eyed look Nayeon gives her.

“Have you _ever _been in a relationship?” Nayeon asks, aghast. 

Mina shakes her head. “Not really,” she answers, “I did have some crushes, of course.” 

“But you haven’t had your first kiss, right? Just need to confirm.” 

“No.” 

“Oh, gosh.” Nayeon rubs the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache coming in. She can’t believe she managed to rope in a rookie into her plan. Now she feels guilty about taking away Mina’s chance to experience a _real _relationship and a _real _first kiss. She has half the mind to actually call the whole thing off when Mina, her voice meek but her expression determined, speaks up and catches her attention.

“But,” she begins, her brown eyes staring straight into Nayeon’s, “I wouldn’t mind if it was you.” 

Warmth explodes in Nayeon’s chest at the words. She’s so stunned by such a bold admission she can’t come up with a coherent sentence in her head. Her mouth even drops open. Mina, seeing her reaction, grows more flustered. 

“I mean—” she says, her voice high-pitched, “it’s just—to make it more be—believable, right? Like you _should_ kiss someone who you’re like dating, right? I wouldn’t really know but that’s what the movies have told me so far.” 

Mina is absolutely _adorable_—how her eyes flicker around nervously, the anxious way she bites her lower lip and the flailing of her hands as she tries to soften the blow of her earlier words. Nayeon’s body slowly relaxes as she processes what just happened. Mina is right, of course. People kiss when they’re in a relationship. She just didn’t think she’d be the first person Myoui Mina would kiss first.

“Sorry,” she says, laughing softly, “I was just surprised.” 

Mina looks like she wants the earth to swallow her whole. “Sorry.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” Nayeon tries to say but Mina looks so miserable about the whole thing that she has no choice but to reach out across the table and grab a hold of her hand. Mina jolts again but thankfully, no more drinks are spilled. She gives Nayeon a quizzical look. 

“You’re holding my hand,” she states blankly. 

“Yes,” Nayeon agrees, cracking another shameless grin, “so that you’ll get used to it, right?”

“Right…” 

“Practice makes perfect,” Nayeon goes on, rubbing her thumb across the soft expanse of Mina’s palm and once again missing the soft way Mina stares at her, “Did you mean it?” 

“Mean what?” 

Nayeon looks up from their intertwined hands. “That you wouldn’t mind if it was me?” 

Mina blushes again, her eyes flickering around the restaurant nervously. Nayeon has always been the bold one but she can’t help but think that Myoui Mina also has a few surprises up her sleeve. She can’t wait to uncover them as their pretend relationship deepens. Who knows? Maybe after this whole thing is over, she’ll have a new best friend to annoy. 

“Yes,” Mina finally answers, shyly looking back at her.

Nayeon grins, squeezing her hand. “Good,” she says, “because it’s an honor to be your first kiss, Myoui Mina.” 

…

(Later that night, Mina lies awake in her bed, tracing the lines of her palm and remembering how Nayeon’s slender fingers had felt against it.) 

…

“What’s this?” Mina cautiously takes the white folder Nayeon hands her as they meet up outside the company building the next day. Once again, Nayeon woke up early to grab some coffee and bagels from the bakery she sometimes frequents. She bites back a yawn as Mina takes a seat next to her on the bench. They have a few minutes left before they have to clock in for the day. 

“Important information,” Nayeon answers, watching the younger girl. 

“It’s a list,” Mina says, raising her eyebrows as she flicks through the pages, “of all your likes and dislikes, what movies you watch when you’re sad or when you’re happy, your dog’s name, your friends’ names and even your great-great grandparents’ names…? Is this like a crash course or something?”

“I call it _The Im Nayeon Handbook: Everything You Need To Know About South Korea’s Hot Girl_,” Nayeon says, proud of herself. She did stay up all night compiling bits of useless information about herself just to make their pretend relationship easier.

Mina sighs, shutting the folder. “I think I’m going to regret this.” 

“You don’t _have _to memorize it,” Nayeon says, handing her the cup of coffee, “but it helps to be prepared, right? You should make one for me too.” 

“I refuse to do so,” Mina mumbles. She accepts the cup and takes a quick sip. Immediately, her entire face pinches with disgust. _Bummer_, Nayeon thinks, snapping her fingers in disappointment, _wrong again_. “This literally has no sugar.” 

“Okay, wow.” Nayeon sighs, reaching into her bag and pulling out some creamer and sugar packets she got in case this happened. “First, you complain about it having too much sugar and _now _it’s too bitter for you?” 

“I’m not a fan of black coffee,” Mina shares, taking the packets gratefully. 

“I’ll try again tomorrow.” 

“The type of coffee I drink is really specific,” the younger girl says, standing up and leading the way towards the company building, Nayeon’s folder tucked under one arm. 

“Don’t tell me.” Nayeon follows after her and presses the button for their floor. “I like a challenge.” 

“Are you going to force me to drink random mixtures of coffee until you get it right?” Mina asks, raising a dubious eyebrow. Nayeon extends the bag of bagels at her and she takes one after a moment’s hesitation. “You do realize that we have a coffee machine here?” 

“It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

“Your job is offended.” 

“As it should be.” Nayeon winks at her. “Besides, I like getting to know you.” 

Mina blushes, unable to hide it due to her hands being full. “Sure, Nayeonnie," she drawls.

It’s silent until they reach their floor. Before Mina can step out, Nayeon wraps her fingers around her wrist and pulls her back from anybody’s immediate view. “Wait,” she says, giggling. Before Mina can protest, she leans forward and presses a quick kiss on her cheek. 

(_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit_, Mina thinks to herself, her entire brain shutting down.) 

“Practice makes perfect, right?” Nayeon gloats before she releases Mina’s wrist and steps out of the elevator. She doesn’t look back, knowing that Mina would still be a blushing mess if she ever turns around and takes a look herself. 

It’s fun, she decides, getting Mina riled up and into a blushing mess. Besides, they’ve already described the do’s-and-don’ts last night during their date. Mina is open to anything, provided that she get used to it first. And since they only have a week and a half left before the wedding, Nayeon is determined to make things smooth and comfortable. If that means waking up early just to get a few shared moments with Mina in the elevator then she’ll gladly do it. 

She just doesn’t want to make a fool out of herself by the time the wedding rolls around. 

…

(For the rest of the day, Mina’s fingers come up to touch her cheek during mundane moments where she should be busy coding. She can’t help it—the press of Nayeon’s lips against her skin had been nothing short of _heavenly_.) 

…

“Should I be worried about Jeongyeon-ssi?” Mina asks Nayeon during their lunch break, glancing at the open folder on her lap. “She might get suspicious.” 

Nayeon frowns, tearing her gaze away from her fried gochujang, and faces Mina with an inquisitive brow. “What?” 

“It says in the handbook that she’s a protective friend,” Mina states, pointing at a picture of Jeongyeon in the folder Nayeon prepared the night before. It’s one of her goofiest photos, when she still sported her bright pink hair, and she’s smiling broadly at the camera. Nayeon glances back at Mina. 

“Jeong is my best friend,” she says, “and she always wants the best for me. Sure, she’ll be a little suspicious about the circumstances of our relationship but you’ll be fine.”

Mina nods, turning the page. She’s silent for a few seconds before she looks back at her co-worker. “And how did the circumstances of our loving relationship begin, Nayeonnie?”

“Oh! I haven’t thought of that.” 

“Seriously?” Mina sighs. “And here I thought you were the mastermind in this whole elaborate scheme of yours.” 

“_Hey!_ We just started pretend dating. If you keep giving me attitude, I won’t kiss you anymore,” Nayeon warns, brandishing her chopsticks, and Mina is only able to hold her gaze for a few seconds before she looks away, blushing. Nayeon smirks, satisfied. “Good.” 

Mina, having already finished her lunch, turns back to the handbook. She flips to a page showing Chaeyoung. Nayeon made sure to include details of all the people she knows will attend the wedding so that Mina will have a heads-up. Unfortunately, Nayeon doesn’t know much about Tzuyu, Chaeyoung’s fiancé, since she was literally unaware of their relationship until Jihyo called. So she just put a note under Chaeyoung’s page that said: “_engaged to Tzuyu, who I don’t have a clue about._”

“How did we get together?” Mina asks, reading through the short info about Chaeyoung: 1. _159 cm_, 2. _Little runt_, 3. _Artsy and poetic_, 4. _Bffs with Dahyun since birth_, 5. _Likes to rap_, 6. _Graphic artist_, 7. _Asked a girl to marry her after 6 months_, 8. _½ of NoJam Bros (with Jeongyeon). _

“You made the moves on me on your first day here in the company,” Nayeon states, drumming her fingers on the tabletop, as she imagines the scenario taking place in her head, “and when I said no, you kissed me in the photocopier room. Then you spent the entire year trying to convince me to date you, which I finally agreed to a month ago." 

Mina actually chokes on thin air. “I—I did _what_?” 

“What? Is it too bold?” 

“It’s too _not me_,” Mina grumbles, ducking her head, “I’m not the type of person who kisses someone out of nowhere.” 

“You will,” Nayeon says confidently, remembering all the moments she and Jennie shared before, “When you find someone you love with every piece of your heart, not kissing them all the time will feel like a crime.” 

Silence. Nayeon continues to eat her lunch, her thoughts now moving forward to the wedding. She thinks about calling Dahyun and asking her about any bridesmaid duties, thinks about catching up with Jeongyeon over some drinks later, thinks about Jihyo’s voice message on her phone asking her if her date has confirmed her invite. She’s so busy thinking about all the things she has to do, she doesn’t notice the way Mina’s gaze lingers on her heart-shaped lips. 

“How about,” the younger girl begins, clearing her throat, “I asked you out for coffee one day, you agreed, we talked, and then we’ve been dating since then?” 

Nayeon turns towards her, grinning. “Coffee is a good start,” she agrees, “but let’s add some flair to it. You walked me home that day. I thought you were so adorable with the way you talked about your dog Ray—” 

“—adorable enough for you to hold my hand?” Mina suggests helpfully.

Nayeon sets aside her chopsticks and leans towards her pretend girlfriend, eyebrows wriggling at such a blatantly bold suggestion. “Yes, I held your hand cause you were too chicken to do it,” she takes the consideration into stride, setting up the perfect premise for the beginning of their relationship, “and when I did, you got all red and nervous and blushed the entire walk back to my place.”

“You didn’t let go,” Mina adds, her voice growing soft, “even when we were already at your doorstep.”

“I live in an apartment complex, Mina. We stopped at the lobby.” Nayeon hums, her eyes drifting down to the hand clutching the handbook tightly. “But yes, I didn’t let go. I wanted you to kiss me but once again, you were too chicken to do it.”

“I don’t think I’m the kiss-the-girl-on-the-first-date type,” Mina mutters. 

“For me, you did.” 

Mina’s blush deepens, if that’s even possible. Nayeon stares at her, realizing for the first time that Mina has a bunch of moles scattered all over her face. She counts one by her forehead, another on the bridge of her nose, another by her cheek and then lastly on her upper lip. She knows if she looks hard enough, that she’ll find a few more. Just waiting to be discovered.

“So I kissed you first?” Mina asks, her voice redirecting Nayeon’s attention back to their conversation. 

“No,” Nayeon says, leaning back and sighing, “you didn’t. _I_ did. I kissed you on the cheek and was about to head upstairs when you tugged me by my shirt.”

“You’ve seen way too many dramas about first dates, huh?” Mina asks, smiling at her. 

Nayeon ignores the comment, even though it is true. “You still looked like a blushing mess so I had to take one for the team and kiss you first. How totally unromantic,” she drawls, imagining the scene in her head. It’s easy to do so—Mina shuffling her feet and looking at anything but her, Mina taking a deep breath and blushing when she steps closer, Mina closing her eyes and not breathing when Nayeon finally kisses her square on the lips. 

She wonders what it’d be like to do it for real.

“I can see that happening,” Mina muses, “You’re the kind of girl who likes to take charge of things.” 

“Of course.” Nayeon beams. “That’s my attractive trait.” 

“It’s not the only one.” 

Nayeon pauses, her brain coming to a standstill. Then she grins. “I’m flattered, Myoui Mina,” she says, reaching out and patting her co-worker’s cheek, “even though you didn’t kiss me first.”

Mina sighs, rolling her eyes. “Are you going to hound me for something I didn’t even do in real life?” she asks, turning back to the handbook. “Anyway, I like what we’ve come up with. Totally in character. I’ll take note of that.” 

“Awesome.” Nayeon goes back to eating her lunch. “Coffee date. Walk back to my apartment. I kiss you first cause you’re too chicken.” 

Mina hums in agreement. “Yup.” She checks her watch. “Anyway, I gotta get some work done. Do you have anything planned for us later? Might work late again.” 

Nayeon thinks about it, her chopsticks halfway to her lips. “You work too much,” is what pops out of her mouth. She frowns when Mina just shrugs at her observation. 

“There’s not much to do at home except play video games.”

“Oh, wow. You need to let loose.” It’s a dangerous gamble—what Nayeon is planning to do. But she wants to show Mina what a good time feels like. “Do you want to meet up with me and Jeongyeon later? There’s a bar down the street which we go to a lot.” 

Mina’s eyes widen at the mention of a bar. “Er,” she begins, looking ready to reject her.

“Please?” Nayeon pouts, using her puppy eyes, “You’ll get to meet my best friend.” 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” 

“As long as you’ve read some of the stuff on the handbook, then you’ll be fine!” Nayeon chirps, “I promise you—she won’t bite.”

Mina hesitates, her hand coming up to rub the back of her neck. Nayeon knows she’s got like 20% chance of actually convincing the younger girl so she puts down her chopsticks and grabs both of Mina’s hands using her own, pulling her close.

“Pretty please?” she asks, “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

A second passes. Then another. Finally, Mina shuts her eyes and lets out a sigh. “Fine.” 

Nayeon surprises both of them by jumping up to her feet and pressing a quick peck on Mina’s cheek. This time, though, instead of immediately walking away, she lingers to watch the reaction on Mina’s face—from shock to embarrassment and then back to wide-eyed wonder. 

A grin plays on Nayeon’s lips at the sight. “Practice makes perfect,” she coos.

Mina takes a step back, stutters what sounds like “I have to go, er, code and stuff” and then runs away. 

Nayeon watches her go, warm and giddy, before she sits back down again and thinks about all the wedding shit she has to do first. 

…

(Mina rubs her steaming hot face tiredly and wonders, not for the first time, what it is about Im Nayeon that makes her melt so easily.) 

…

“So,” Jeongyeon begins, staring down at Mina carefully, “You’re Nayeon’s girlfriend.”

They’re seated at the very corner of the bar. The music is loud enough to drown out the rest of the crowd’s chatter but not loud enough that Nayeon can’t hear what comes out of Mina’s mouth next: “Erm, yes, I am. That’s me. Her girlfriend.” Mina looks like a nervous mess, eyes flickering around every now and then, hands shaking underneath the table and foot tapping against the floor. Nayeon takes it upon herself to reach out and intertwine their fingers together. 

“Mina-yah,” she says sweetly, squeezing Mina’s hand when the latter jolts, “there’s no need to be tense. Jeongie’s just a dork.” 

“I heard that,” Jeongyeon grumbles, sipping her drink, “I’m curious, okay? The fact that you actually got a girlfriend after being so hung up on Jennie is something I didn’t expect to see.” She winces, glancing at Mina. “You know about Jennie, right?” 

Mina nods. “I know that they were together for two years,” she says meekly. 

“Yeah, Nabongs rarely shuts up about it.”

“Hey.” Nayeon flings some chips at Jeongyeon who catches one with her mouth. “It was a very _serious _relationship.”

Even though they broke up a year ago, Nayeon still thinks of Jennie with a kind of tenderness one would reserve for somebody whom they thought they’d spend the rest of their lives with. Guess she was wrong. She ignores the pain building in her chest and turns her gaze towards her best friend. 

“Now you’re in another one so pay attention to your girlfriend before she breaks up with you after a month of dating,” Jeongyeon points out, nodding at Mina. When Nayeon turns, she finds the younger girl pouting. It’s such an adorable sight to see that she actually blinks and stares a little bit too hard. 

Mina, finally noticing her stare, blushes intensely. “Eh,” she begins, waving her off, “I’m not je—_jealous_ or any—anything! I was just thinking about some things.”

“It’s okay to be jealous,” Nayeon says, grinning. She’s not entirely sure if Mina really is jealous—she’ll have to chalk it up to good acting then. 

Mina shoots her a look. “I wasn’t.” 

“_Right_.”

“Nayeonnie, you’re putting words in my mouth.”

“You’re the one who first brought it up.” 

“Wait, I—I did?” 

Nayeon silences her with a third kiss pressed against her cheek. Her lips tingle at the heat of Mina’s skin. When she pulls back, her pretend girlfriend looks completely dazed. The sight is enough to make her giggle. 

Jeongyeon sighs loudly and asks the bartender for a refill of her drink. “It’s going to be a long night,” she mumbles, side-eyeing the couple. 

…

(When Nayeon excuses herself to the bathroom, Jeongyeon fixes Mina with a knowing look. “I don’t know what you see in her,” the nurse says, smiling fondly, “She fucking annoys me most of the time.” 

Mina returns the smile. “I see everything in her.”

Jeongyeon coughs, “Whipped.”) 

…

The next day, Nayeon is waiting for Mina by their usual bench outside the company building with two cups of coffee and a bag of bagels. This time, she gave the barista exact instructions on how to prepare the coffee she planned on giving to her colleague. It’s purely based on intuition but she hopes it’s enough to not make Mina’s face twists in disgust like the previous times. 

“Morning, girlfriend!” Nayeon cheerfully greets as Mina emerges from the crowd of commuters hurrying to get to work. 

Mina rolls her eyes playfully but takes the coffee Nayeon hands her. “Let’s see if you got it right,” she states. When she takes a sip, her mouth curls into a smile. 

“Well?” Nayeon bounces on the balls of her feet, waiting for the verdict. 

“Needs more milk.” Mina licks her lips and the movement distracts Nayeon for a couple of seconds. “Maybe less sugar?” 

“Jesus, you’re picky.” 

“I told you I was particular with my coffee.” Mina leads the way to the elevator with Nayeon matching her strides. “But it’s good. Better than yesterday, anyway.” 

Silence. Mina takes the bagel Nayeon offers her. It’s starting to become a pattern, one that Nayeon isn’t particularly against. Sure, she has to wake up earlier than normal just to prepare for the day and buy breakfast ahead of time. It’s worth it, though, just to get these little snippets of normalcy where she actually has a friend to lean on.

She has other friends in the company but they’re strictly for work only. She’s only ever needed Jeongyeon to hang out with after-hours anyway. But there’s something about Mina’s presence that calms and excites her at the same time. It makes her want to get to know her more. 

Besides, it’s the least she can do since Mina has to pretend to be her girlfriend for the remainder of the two weeks.

“Thank you for taking me out last night,” Mina says out of nowhere, running her fingers around the rim of her coffee. 

“You looked like you needed it.” Nayeon presses the button to their floor. “How was Jeongyeon?” 

“You were right,” Mina amends, chuckling, “She is a total dork. I can’t believe we actually talked about Fortnite for the entire night.” 

“I told you she was a softie.”

“She is.”

Silence. 

“You know,” Nayeon opens, “there’s this coffee shop near my place. Want to check it out?”

The more they spend time together, the more Mina breaks out of her shy exterior. Nayeon sees this once again when the younger girl turns to look at her, gummy smile in place. “Are you asking me out on a date, Im Nayeon?” she asks smugly. 

Nayeon laughs. “God, you’re cheeky,” she murmurs. 

Mina takes another sip of her coffee. “You’re rubbing off on me.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

There’s a pause. Mina shyly glances back at her again. “I’d love to go with you,” she says, smiling apologetically, “but I have some work to finish later. It’ll take me awhile to finish it.”

Nayeon sighs, nodding understandingly. “You work too hard, you know?” she quips, “You’re the only other person who willingly works overtime in this place.” 

Mina shrugs and stares at her reflection in the elevator doors. “I’m too much of a perfectionist,” she admits. 

That, Nayeon has to agree on. She hums a song under her breath and waits for the elevator to reach their floor. She doesn’t really know what to say to Mina’s comment so she lets the silence take over them. Sometimes, it’s better to not say anything at all. She learned this the hard way with her years-long friendship with Jeongyeon and Jihyo.

“I’ll see you at lunch,” she says when the elevator doors slide open. 

Mina nods, already stepping forward to leave the tiny compartment. Nayeon stops her, however, just to press another soft kiss on the younger girl’s cheek. It’s as fleeting as all the other kisses they’ve shared but the wide-eyed look Mina gives her never fails to make Nayeon giddy. It reminds her of the earlier love-struck days she shared with Jennie when her ex-girlfriend couldn’t stop looking at her like she hung the moon and all the stars. 

The sudden reminder of Jennie makes her pause, however. Pain clogs the back of her esophagus. Their memories together are now tainted with regret and misery. Nayeon is reminded, once again, why they’re doing this in the first place. 

Everything she’s suppressed comes crashing down. 

“Sorry,” she says quickly when Mina doesn’t move, “That was out of line, I’m sorry.” 

Mina’s eyebrows furrow in confusion as she clears her throat. “Don’t worry,” she says, voice slightly scratchy, “I get it. Practice makes perfect, right?” 

“Right.” Nayeon sighs, stepping out of the lift. “You’re getting used to it, though?” 

Mina is staring at her. “Yeah, I am.” 

“Good. That’ll make your job at the wedding easier.” 

“Right.” 

There’s something about the way Mina is looking at her, all soft and sad, that reminds Nayeon of all the times Jeongyeon and Jihyo looked at her the same way. It was after the messy break-up, when Jennie couldn’t even be bothered to break up with her in person. Only a single text was sent: _I’ve met someone else_. The thought of it is enough for Nayeon to lock her jaw and walk away, trying her best not to glance over her shoulder because she knows Mina is still watching her. 

Mina is not Jennie.

She never will be. 

…

(_My job_, Mina thinks sullenly, staring at Nayeon's retreating form, _was never easy to begin with_.)

…

_Love_, Nayeon reminds herself as she sits in her car later that afternoon, _is bullshit_. Her fingers are shaking on the wheel. There are tears in her eyes. She can’t fucking breathe. It feels like Cupid, the one who made her fall for Jennie in the first place, just showed up out of nowhere to rip out the arrow still embedded in her chest.

_Sorry_, she imagines the large baby with tiny wings telling her, _guess you won’t be needing this anymore! _

The whole pretending to date Mina thing is something she seriously underestimated. Now she can’t help but remember all the moments she shared with Jennie. When they were together, Nayeon always made her coffee everyday, Nayeon always kissed her before she left for work, Nayeon always treated her out for dinner. 

Now Jennie has Jisoo. 

And Nayeon has nothing.

…

(It’s a lie, Mina knows.

She turns a blind eye to it anyway.)

...


	2. are you bored yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Nayeon and Mina meet up with the engaged couple, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got a LOT of Chaeyu in this chapter. If you're here for the Chaeyu wedding, it's best to start here LOL. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter so far cause we still have a lot to go through! The rest of the ships will pop up soon!

_Feels like I've known you my whole life_   
_I can see right through your lies_   
_I don't know where we're going_   
_But I'd like to be by your side_

_ \- _Are You Bored Yet, Wallows

...

“Hey,” Nayeon says the next day. Two cups of coffee sit next to her on the bench. No bagels today, though. The cafe ran out of them. It’s drizzling that early morning so Mina comes with an umbrella in hand. Nayeon, however, only has a large hoodie in place. 

“Nayeonnie!” Mina scolds, aghast, “How long have you been sitting in the rain?”

“Five minutes,” Nayeon answers, shrugging, “I hate umbrellas.” 

Mina wastes no time in shielding her from the tiny downpour this morning. Nayeon huffs and gathers all her stuff in one hand. There’s an awkward tension in the air, probably an effect to Nayeon’s weird reaction after kissing Mina’s cheek. Even though Nayeon said that they'd meet up for lunch, she never showed. Thankfully, Mina doesn't bring this up as they head on over inside the building. 

Wordlessly, Nayeon hands Mina her cup of coffee. Mina pauses to shake her umbrella dry and leave it by the front desk. Then she accepts the drink gratefully. 

"Close," she says when Nayeon continues to stare at her. 

"How close?" 

"More sugar, less milk." 

"You literally said the opposite thing yesterday." Nayeon narrows her eyes as they enter the elevator. "Are you messing with me just so that you can have free coffee everyday?" 

Mina smiles and takes another sip. "Your words, not mine." 

…

(_ No kisses today _, Mina thinks disappointedly as she watches Nayeon walk away.)

…

**Im Nayeon (10:08 AM)**

change my name in ur phone contacts

**Baby 💚 (10:09 AM)**

Wait, why?

**Im Nayeon (10:09 AM)**

cause i said so

**Im Nayeon (10:10 AM)**

PLUS i already changed ur name here

**Im Nayeon (10:11 AM)**

u are now officially my ‘Baby 💚’ 

**Baby 💚 (10:11 AM)**

Done.

**Nabongs 🐰(10:12 AM): **

It better be cute af when i check it later 

**Baby 💚 (10:12 AM)**

Oh, it is. 😇

…

(The adorable whine Nayeon emits when she checks her phone is worth the slap Mina gets in return.)

…

It’s a week before the wedding. Jihyo told her that it’s not really going to be a traditional one so people shouldn’t really worry about the dress code and regular customs. It’s basically going to be a modern one with an informal vibe to it. Chaeyoung isn’t the type of person to conform to standards, after all, and apparently, Tzuyu’s the type of person who goes along with Chaeyoung wants, provided that some of her wants are met as well. 

“The bridesmaids are supposed to wear white,” Nayeon tells Mina as she goes over the list of things Jihyo sends her over their group chat, “so I guess you can wear whatever you want. Make it classy, though.” 

Mina nods before she leaves to clock out for the day. 

"We have to pretend to be girlfriends for three days," Nayeon says, waiting for Mina to reappear by her side in the lobby, "The wedding's on a Saturday so we have to take time off work on Thursday and Friday." 

"What happens on Thursday?" 

Nayeon checks the group chat. "A bachelorette party," she answers, grinning wickedly, "Dahyun organized the whole thing so the possibility of her hiring a stripper is close to zero." 

Mina blinks at her. "Why would she hire a stripper?"

"That's the point—she wouldn't." Nayeon clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Kim Dahyun is too much of a church girl to turn Chaeyoung's last night as a bachelorette into _ my _ definition of fun." 

"And what is your definition of fun, Nayeonnie?" Mina asks, raising a dubious eyebrow at her as they both leave the company. It's nearing nighttime already with the last rays of sunlight fading into the dark. The moon is starting to peek out from a few clouds and if Nayeon squints her eyes, she can see some stars sparkling in the distance.

Mina's hand brushes against hers suddenly. Nayeon resists the urge to reach out and intertwine their fingers together. 

"Booze," she answers simply, reaching her car. She dropped Mina off at her apartment after their so-called date at the restaurant and then after they hung out with Jeongyeon at the bar. They don't have anything planned tonight though so Nayeon thinks she's just going to drop Mina off at her place. 

"As expected." Mina hesitates when she sees Nayeon waiting for her by the driver's side. "You don't have to—" 

"I want to," Nayeon says, cracking a smile and already knowing what's on Mina's mind. 

"My apartment is on the opposite side of the city," Mina reminds her, as she always has. 

"It's the least I can do," Nayeon says as she leans on the hood of her car, "I'm forcing you to meet my chaotic friends—driving you home is a small price to pay." 

Mina's expression is the same one she always wears when she wants to ask Nayeon for her packet of ketchup but is too shy to do so. Her cheeks turn pink in embarrassment as her lips tug down into a small, adorable pout. Based on their little encounters the past few days, Mina has slowly started to show her goofy side. The side Nayeon wouldn't have seen otherwise. 

Fake dating has its perks, after all.

"I'll pay for your gas money," Mina says after a short pause and Nayeon grins at her. 

"Deal." 

Just as they're both about to open their sides of that car, a loud but familiar voice calls out, "Nayeonnie!" 

Nayeon jolts, her head whipping to the side. To her absolute shock, she sees none other than Son Chaeyoung approaching with a tall and elegant looking girl following behind her. The last time they'd seen each other was when Nayeon visited her hometown during the Chuseok holidays. Chaeyoung's blonde platinum hair back then now sports a new dark edgy color. She still looks good either way. The girl behind her, whom Nayeon assumes to be Chou Tzuyu, is downright gorgeous with dark blue navy hair tied in a ponytail and large, imploring eyes. 

"Girlfriend duties," Nayeon hisses at Mina who looks at her with wide eyes, "We can't let them know we're pretending. That's Chaeyoung's fiancé—the one who invited Jennie and Jisoo. If she finds out, then she might tell them and I would seriously rather get hit by a bus than have them to know I'm desperate enough to stage this entire thing." 

Mina manages to nod quickly. 

"Hey!" Chaeyoung greets, her right hand clasped around Tzuyu's, "We dropped by your apartment but they told us you still hadn't come home." 

Nayeon circles around her Maserati so that she's standing by Mina, facing Chaeyoung and her fiancé. Almost like instinct, she reaches over and wraps her fingers around her pretend girlfriend's hand. The gesture is enough to calm her nerves. "Yeah," she says, forcing a smile, "I was waiting for Mina-yah. You should've sent me a text or something. We could've hung out the whole day." 

Chaeyoung frowns at her. "What are you doing?" she asks. 

Nayeon freezes, feeling like she's been caught red-handed. "Wh—what?" 

"You haven't hugged me yet," Chaeyoung grumbles, crossing her arms, "What—I get engaged and you don’t hug me anymore? Seriously?" 

“Oh!” Nayeon laughs, relaxing immediately. She reaches forward and wraps her arms around the younger girl’s petite frame. Like instinct, Chaeyoung hugs her back, her head tucked underneath Nayeon’s chin. It reminds her of their earlier years together. Everytime Chaeyoung had some problems with bigger kids teasing her for her height, it was always Nayeon’s arms she ran into. It would’ve been Jeongyeon’s but the other girl was the one who’d chase after said bullies while Jihyo called their parents and told on them. 

“Hi,” Chaeyoung whispers against her collarbone, “It’s been a long time, unnie.” 

“Jesus.” Tears prickle the back of her eyes. “Are you really getting married?” 

“LMAO, right?” Chaeyoung laughs, as if she’s completely forgotten about this said fact. She leans back, her right arm still locked around Nayeon’s middle, and beckons the tall girl over. “Nayeonnie, this is Tzuyu-yah. My fiancé.” 

Tzuyu steps forward. Up close, she’s even prettier, her large eyes bright and anxious. She bows politely and Nayeon spots a silver ring on her left hand. “Hello, Nayeon-ssi. Chaeyoung-ah has told me a lot of stories about you.”

“Good ones only!” Chaeyoung says, winking, “I know you wouldn’t like it if I told her about the time you went to take your finals without taking a bath.” 

Nayeon hears Mina’s giggle behind her. “I’m going to kill you later,” she faux-whispers to Chaeyoung, who just laughs. “Anyway, what are you guys doing here?” 

Chaeyoung detaches herself from Nayeon and walks over to Tzuyu. “Well,” she begins, leaning against the taller girl, “I didn’t want you to think that your approval doesn’t matter to me so we dropped by. I already talked to Jeongyeon yesterday and I asked her not to tell you that we were in town.” 

“So, you basically wanted to corner the two of us into agreeing to this whole thing?” Nayeon asks, narrowing her eyes. 

Tzuyu winces. Chaeyoung is unfazed. 

“Yes,” she says, always the honest one. Then she notices Mina standing next to her. “Oh, hey, are you the girlfriend Jihyo-unnie told me about?”

Mina glances at Nayeon who nods at her. “Yeah,” she answers, bowing as well, “I’m Myoui Mina, Nayeon’s girlfriend.” 

Chaeyoung beams, nodding as well. “A girlfriend of Nayeon is a friend of mine.” She turns back to Nayeon again. “You guys free tonight? Let’s have dinner and catch up. You can even do your own version of ‘_ if you hurt Chaeyoung, I will personally make your life a living hell _’ speech that Jeongyeon-unnie told Tzuyu yesterday.” 

Tzuyu sighs. “I had to listen to it everytime Chaeyoung went to pick up some call or go to the bathroom,” she says regretfully, even though there’s a smile on her face. She looks happy that Chaeyoung has someone looking out for her in the first place, even though it's at the expense of her getting threatened. 

Nayeon laughs. “That’s Jeongie for you.” She reaches behind her, seeking Mina’s hand, and humming in satisfaction when she finds it. She squeezes once. Mina returns the gesture. “But, yes, we’re free tonight. Where do you plan on taking us?” 

The way Chaeyoung’s eyes sparkle reminds Nayeon of all the times she pulled practical pranks with Jeongyeon and Dahyun. While Jeongyeon was always the mastermind, it was Chaeyoung who did the deed. Then it’d be Dahyun apologizing on behalf of them. While Chaeyoung and Jeongyeon are notorious for being the NoJam Bros, they’ve always tried to taint Dahyun’s pure intentions with their malicious ones. Thank God Dahyun is too much of a church girl to fall for it. 

“There’s this one place Tzuyu’s always wanted to try out,” Chaeyoung says, “but it can be a little noisy.” 

Tzuyu’s entire face brightens up. “We’re really going there?” she asks excitedly, turning to her fiancé.

The love-struck smile Chaeyoung gives her fiancé is enough to send second-hand butterflies into Nayeon’s stomach. “Anything for you, Tzu,” Chaeyoung says, looking utterly and hopelessly in love. Tzuyu smiles back.

Nayeon wonders if she had the same expression when she and Jennie were still together.

…

(Mina wonders if Nayeon can see the same expression written on her face.)

…

The place Tzuyu wanted to try out turns out to be a popular dog cafe in the middle of Seoul. Nayeon drives them there with Mina in the passenger seat and the engaged couple sitting at the back. They talk about what Tzuyu does for a living—apparently she's a known model back in Taiwan but decided to settle down in South Korea to try her fair share of photography. She met Chaeyoung in the most mundane of ways—walking straight into each other in the streets of Seoul during a bright sunny day. Chaeyoung's recent project proposal for a company had flown with the wind and Tzuyu's camera lens had broken on impact. But after they finished picking up their belongings and looked up to meet each other's eyes, all the anger had apparently melted away. It was love at first sight, Chae insists. 

"You know that feeling you get when you step inside your house for the first time since being on vacation?" Chaeyoung remarks, leaning her head on Tzuyu's shoulder, "It was like that, only with a person. It's like coming home." 

Tzuyu smiles, her eyes turning to half-crescent moons. "Yes," she agrees, "but I was still a little surprised when she asked for my number a second after she broke my camera." 

"I paid for it, didn't I?" Chaeyoung says, aghast. Her pout only disappears when Tzuyu kisses it away. 

Nayeon snorts, even though she is charmed by the love she sees. Chaeyoung isn't the most affectionate person out there. She often has difficulty expressing her appreciation for her closest friends. One time, on Jihyo's 19th birthday, after Nayeon, Jeongyeon and Dahyun had walked up to give their traditional birthday kisses, Chaeyoung nervously turned to Jihyo, tucked her hair behind her ears and kissed her on the forehead. Then she proceeded to act like she'd been coerced to do such a thing. Which was hilarious to see. It's a known fact that Son Chaeyoung is only affectionate with the people she's known her entire life. Chou Tzuyu must be really special. 

"Coming home, huh?" Nayeon echoes, her eyes on the road, "You've always been a romantic person, Chae, but that's the cheesiest shit I've ever heard." 

Chaeyoung pretends to shoot an arrow at her, one eye closed shut in concentration. "Careful," she says, "you have a girlfriend now. Don't let her hear you say such skeptic things." 

Mina giggles. Nayeon rolls her eyes. "I take care of my girlfriend very seriously, Chaengie." 

"I'll take your word for it." 

Nayeon, sensing danger, reaches out with her right hand to take hold of Mina's and then places it on the gear shift between them. Then she intertwines their fingers together. It's a shamelessly bold move but Nayeon needs to prove that they're girlfriends, especially to Chou Tzuyu. She meets Mina's eyes when she glances at her. 

_ Is this okay? _she wants to ask, forcing a smile.

Mina's warm brown eyes crinkle at the corners as she smiles back.

…

(_ This is more than okay _ , Mina wants to say, looking down at their clasped hands, _ this is everything. _)

…

When Nayeon thinks about it, the pet cafe might not have been the best place to catch up with your friends. Majority of the time, Nayeon, Mina and Tzuyu are all cooing over the cute little dogs and cats that are walking by their feet and taking selfies with them. Chaeyoung spends most of her time secretly taking pictures of Tzuyu, which might not have been so secret in the first place, judging by the bashful smile the taller girl has on her face. However, they do manage to swap some stories as they all retreat to the eating area of the cafe, where pets aren’t allowed in. 

“Nayeonnie,” Mina calls, pointing at a tiny Pomeranian puppy wagging his tail behind the see-through glass, “it looks just like Kookeu.” 

Nayeon raises her eyebrow, surprised Mina has even retained the information from her little handbook. Guess she must’ve been taking her fake-girlfriend job seriously. She smiles at the thought. “Yeah,” she muses, letting out a soft sigh, “I miss him.”

“You can see him again when we all get back home for the wedding!” Chaeyoung exclaims brightly, “It’s just a small ceremony, anyway.” 

“I’ll drop by my house after the wedding is over,” Nayeon remarks. 

“How are the preparations going?” Mina asks, her voice meek and soft. Amidst all the barking of the dogs, she is easily overpowered by the noise. However, Chaeyoung manages to hear her question.

“Oh!” The shorter girl giggles, turning to Tzuyu. “I wouldn’t know—my future wife never tells me anything.” 

Tzuyu sighs fondly. “I want it to be a surprise,” she says, “Besides, if I let you handle the preparations, I’m pretty sure Gucci would be our ring bearer and Dahyun would be the only performer for the after-party.”

Nayeon cackles, her loud laugh catching Tzuyu off guard. “Oh, man,” she says, trying to hold it back in while simultaneously wiping away the tears in her eyes, “did Chaeyoung show you all the eagle dances Dahyun did back in her church? I swear to God—Jeongyeon has a whole fucking hard drive of it.” 

Tzuyu laughs as well. God—even her laugh is pretty. Nayeon wonders how on earth Chaeyoung managed to get a girl like her. 

“I know of Dahyun’s infamous eagle dance,” she says cheekily, “Chaeyoung-ah showed it to me via video on our first date. It was... _ charming _." 

"I can't believe you were charmed by that," Nayeon quips, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. 

"What can I say?" Chaeyoung smirks broadly. "DubChaeng, while a package deal, is a woman magnet." 

"Please don't use that sentence ever again," Tzuyu mumbles with a pained expression. 

Thankfully, Mina manages to come up with some relevant questions Nayeon would've asked if she wasn't so busy laughing at the memory of Dahyun's eagle dance. "You've been together for six months?" she asks carefully, obviously feeling like she's treading on dangerous territory. 

But Chaeyoung and Tzuyu just smile reassuringly. "Yeah," the shorter of the two says, running her fingers through her hair, "I know that some people might be against it. Jihyo-unnie was actually one of them…" 

Nayeon snorts. _ Of course _—Jihyo has always been the voice of reason in their small group of five. A main contributing factor to why she ended up pursuing a law degree later on in life. Since she was the only one in the unnie line to stay behind in their hometown, she was always looking out for Dahyun and Chaeyoung. The news of Chaeyoung getting engaged after dating the girl for only six months must've been a shock. 

"How did she take it?" Nayeon asks, turning her attention to the meals the waiter suddenly brings them. After he deposits them, she looks back at Chaeyoung to indicate that she’s listening. 

Chaeyoung sighs, looking weary. "At first, she was like—_ 'how well do you know this girl? How sure are you that you're compatible? How is she when she's angry? When she's sad? When she's upset?' _ You know, the kind of things your parents would ask you. Of course, _ my _parents were cool with it but Jihyo, well, it took a while to convince her," she explains, her eyes fixed on a spot above Nayeon's head, "She knew Tzuyu beforehand so she was also trying to convince her not to make such a rash decision." 

"What made her change her mind?" Mina asks.

Chaeyoung glances at Tzuyu with an impressed expression. "I don't know," she answers honestly, "I just know that Tzuyu-yah finally had enough and talked to her. After that, we had Jihyo's full support." 

Nayeon raises an eyebrow. "Really?" Jihyo is one of the most stubborn people she knows. "What, did you threaten her or something?" 

"Yes."

"No."

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu glance at each other, the former with a bright grin and the latter with a small frown. 

"I just told her what was in my heart," Tzuyu mumbles, blushing, "and how much Chaeyoung means to me. Once she saw that my intentions were pure, she then supported us." 

Chaeyoung snorts, waving her away. "Nah," she says jokingly, "you probably bribed her with something." 

Tzuyu glances at her fiancé, a small furrow between her eyebrows and a pout on her lips. In that moment, she resembles a kicked puppy. "Even if I had, which I _ didn't _," she begins seriously, "it wouldn't have worked. Jihyo-unnie can't be swayed by money. Besides, you're priceless, Chaeng." 

Caught off guard by the sincerity in Tzuyu's words, Chaeyoung looks like she can't control the bashful smile that crosses her features. She actually has to turn away and smile at the ground. Nayeon, seeing this, can't help but sigh in adoration and… _ envy _. She can't remember the last time she experienced such an array of emotions. Even though she and Jennie were together for two years, the butterflies all the movies talked about stopped shortly after their one-year mark. 

Mina's next question catches her attention. "How did you propose?" she asks, looking at Chaeyoung curiously. 

"And _why_ did you accept?" Nayeon turns to Tzuyu, baffled by the fast progression of their relationship. 

Chaeyoung answers first, the smile never leaving her face, "It was totally spontaneous. She was sleeping over at my place and I just woke up in the middle of the night. You know that I have my nightmares, right, Nayeonnie? So I was trying to shake it off by getting a glass of water." Her voice goes all soft then. Tzuyu intertwining their hands together under the table doesn't go unnoticed by Nayeon. The simple but elegant single diamond-studded ring on her left hand sparkles under the light. 

"Anyway," Chaeyoung continues, looking at her fiancé gratefully, "I couldn't go back to sleep so I just decided to draw something to pass the time. Tzuyu had an early meeting with a client the next day so I didn't bother waking her up. But then…" 

Nayeon can see where this is going. Chaeyoung has always had difficulty opening up to people, even the ones closest to her. Sometimes, when she feels like the world is against her, not even Dahyun can break through. 

“She walked right into the living room, sat next to me on the couch and proceeded to watch me work,” Chaeyoung recalls, still with the same soft voice she must’ve reserved only for Chou Tzuyu, “and when I told her to go to bed, she didn’t. She said she didn’t want to leave me alone when I was in one of my ‘bad moods.’ Even though she had work early that morning, she didn’t leave my side and just watched me doodle all over my notebook.”

Nayeon chances a glance at Mina, who is staring at Chaeyoung intently. Their gazes meet. For some reason, she has to look away first.

On the other side of the table, Chaeyoung goes on with her story, “So, here I am, in the middle of the night, sitting on the couch with my beautiful girlfriend of six months and I think to myself ‘_ there is literally nobody else in the world who would willingly get up at 2 am just to watch me draw _.’ And because I’m an idiot with no brain-to-mouth filter, I turn to Tzuyu and I just say, ‘we should get married.’” 

Nayeon’s eyes widen in shock. Sure, Chaeyoung has always been known for her rash decisions. And while the story of her proposal sounds a lot like something she might do, she can’t help but be amazed at such boldness. Didn’t she think of the consequences? What if, despite their unfailing love for each other, Tzuyu had said no? 

She looks at Tzuyu next, her mouth hanging open. “_ Why _did you say yes?” she repeats her earlier question, completely aghast.

Tzuyu smiles, not even fazed by the incredulity in Nayeon’s tone. “I didn’t agree immediately,” she says, as if that makes things any better, “I asked her where the ring was, she told she’d buy me one first thing in the morning. I asked her if she was joking, she said she was dead serious. I asked her if she was sleep-deprived and she said and I quote, ‘_ I am _ severely _ sleep-deprived but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you, Tzuyu-yah _.’ So, I said yes.” 

Chaeyoung fist bumps her fiancé. “Isn’t it the best decision you’ve ever made?” she asks cheekily.

Tzuyu rolls her eyes. “Of course, you idiot.” 

Mina laughs when Nayeon pretends to fake-gag. But still, any earlier qualms and misgivings Nayeon had earlier is immediately wiped away at the sight of Chaeyoung looking at Tzuyu like she's the only thing worth painting in this world. 

"Okay," Nayeon says, catching their attention when she mock-glares at Tzuyu and points at her threateningly, "if you harm even a single strand of hair on Chaeyoungie's perfect little head or leave her at the altar or—God forbid—_ break her heart _, whatever Jeongyeon promised yesterday will seem like child's play compared to what I am capable of. Trust me, Chou Tzuyu, I can make your life a hundred times worse if I find out that you hurt one of my dearest friends." 

Silence. The only sounds that can be heard are the dogs yapping and barking at the other side of the cafe. Tzuyu stares at her head-on, the softness in her eyes hardening. It’s a staring contest now. The one who looks away first admits defeat. While Nayeon may be a lazy ass most of the time, she is definitely not a quitter. 

To her surprise, Tzuyu smiles, her eyes turning into half-crescent moons. “There’s the Im Nayeon Chaeyoung told me about,” she says and Nayeon blinks. A few seconds later, she can’t help but smile back.

Chaeyoung snorts, taking a sip of her drink. “Jeongyeon lasted longer,” she remarks, successfully dodging the slap Nayeon throws at her.

…

(_ Well, _ Mina tries to push away the memory of an angry and demanding Im Nayeon plaguing her thoughts, _ that was… hot _.) 

...

They first drop off Chaeyoung and Tzuyu at the hotel they’re staying at after they all finish having dinner. Nayeon hugs Chaeyoung a little bit too tightly since the two lovebirds would be returning to their hometown the next day. Tzuyu smiles brightly when Nayeon moves to hug her too. Then it’s quiet on the ride back to Mina’s place. Nayeon’s mind is running a hundred miles per hour. She thinks of the path Chaeyoung has chosen and how she doesn’t seem to regret it one bit. She thinks of Tzuyu coming into a foreign land and literally crashing into her future wife. She thinks of Jennie, as she always does when it comes to matters of the heart, and wonders where things went so wrong so badly.

On the way back to Mina’s apartment, it suddenly starts raining. Nayeon lets out a sigh of annoyance as she pushes through the traffic. Next to her in the passenger seat, Mina is staring at the drops of water splattering against the window. It usually takes twenty minutes to get to her address but due to unforeseen weather complications, they’re still stuck in traffic nearly an hour later. 

“You know,” Mina begins suddenly. It’s the first time she’s actually opened up conversation between the two of them. Nayeon glances at her, raising an eyebrow. “They’re pretty cute,” she finishes. 

“Chaeyoung and Tzuyu?” 

“Yeah.” Mina absentmindedly plays with a loose thread on her suit jacket, her eyes fixed firmly on the dashboard of Nayeon’s car. “Makes you believe in love, doesn’t it?” 

“I wouldn’t know about that,” Nayeon drawls, chuckling to herself. She’s been thinking a lot more of Jennie the closer the wedding gets. Just the thought of seeing her again is enough to send her into a panic attack. “But, yeah, they’re pretty cute.” 

Silence again. For some reason, Nayeon didn’t think of turning on the radio between them earlier. Now she regrets this decision wholeheartedly because all she can listen to now is Mina’s rhythmic breathing, the sound of rain hitting the roof of her car and the cars all around her honking to get traffic moving. 

Then—

”You should stay over at my place,” Mina says, not looking at her, “I don’t want you driving in this kind of weather. You could get hurt.”

Nayeon blinks, glancing outside. Sure enough, the rain doesn’t seem like it’s letting up soon. “Uh,” she says, already trying to think of an excuse. 

“I won’t take no for an answer, Nayeonnie,” Mina goes on, leaning her head against the window, “I just want you safe, that’s all. It’s the least I can do for letting you drop me off at my place.”

Nayeon doesn’t have it in her to argue so she just nods slowly and puts her forehead against the wheel of the car. When she closes her eyes, she sees Jennie’s last text message to her, burned in the back of her eyelids. _ I’ve met someone else _. 

…

(Nayeon is here in Mina’s apartment, looking at a few photos she has framed on the walls of her living space. 

Nayeon is here in the spare bedroom Mina reserves for guests, thanking her for the change of clothes and the spare toothbrush. 

Nayeon is here, where Mina feels like herself most days, but for some reason, she can’t help but feel like Nayeon is somewhere else.) 

…

Nayeon wakes up to the smell of breakfast and coffee wafting through the air. At first, she thinks somebody might’ve broken into her apartment in the middle of the night and cooked some food while they were at it. But then she remembers that Mina asked her to stay over last night and groans into the pillow. Thank God today is a Saturday. She debates going back to sleep and letting Mina have her own privacy in her own apartment but then her stomach growls suddenly. God, she’s starving. What time is it? She checks her phone. It’s nearing ten o’clock in the morning. 

“Nayeon?”

There’s a knock on the door and Nayeon mumbles a low “come in” after dropping her head back on the pillow. When Mina steps inside, Nayeon’s brain shuts down. 

“Do you want some breakfast?” Mina asks, tilting her head to the side. Her hair is tied in a messy bun on top of her head and large, round glasses are perched on the bridge of her nose. She’s wearing an oversized white sweater with the left side of the collar slipping past her shoulder and exposing the smooth skin underneath. Thankfully, she’s also wearing sweatpants so Nayeon isn’t faced with the sight of her exposed legs. _ Fuck _. Now she can’t stop thinking about it. 

Myoui Mina looks fucking adorable in the morning.

Nayeon shuts her eyes and shakes her head. “Uh,” she says, rolling over, “in a minute.” 

“Okay, I’ll be waiting.” Mina meekly says before she shuts the door and walks back to the kitchen.

Nayeon takes a deep breath, rubbing her eyes. She thinks of Jennie again, as she always does. They broke up last year in the middle of October. It’s already been so long. The sight of Mina in looking so effortlessly beautiful despite it being a rest day makes her think of all the other times she woke up alongside Jennie, back when they were still dating. How beautiful Jennie had looked, the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, how her nose scrunched in response to Nayeon kissing her on the neck. 

Nayeon’s spent the past several months trying to push down her memories of Jennie but with a wedding fast approaching and her being knee-deep in a fake relationship, she can’t help but remember. 

She can’t help but remember what it was like to be hopelessly and irrevocably in love. 

…

(Mina checks her reflection in the mirror and wonders when she’s started looking so transparent.)

…

“Oh, wow.” Nayeon sits on Mina’s left side on the kitchen table, taking a sip of the brewed coffee her co-worker has prepared and diligently chewing into the crepes plated in front of her. “This is really good. I didn’t know you could cook.” 

Mina shrugs, stirring her own cup of coffee. “I like to do many things when I’m alone.” 

Nayeon glances around the apartment. She didn’t take the time to digest any information about her colleague last night because her thoughts were filled with her ex-girlfriend. But now, she lets her eyes wander and observe the little things that Mina has placed around in her living space. She sees a few pictures of her family framed in the walls—both parents present, one older brother and a dog that Nayeon easily recognizes as Ray. She saw another picture earlier, stuck on the refrigerator door, when she went to grab some butter. A picture of two girls standing on either side of Mina in front of a high school building. Mina hasn’t mentioned any other friends and Nayeon hasn’t thought to ask. 

Other than the pictures, she can see a bookshelf filled with books of different genres—ranging from poetry to sci-fi and different video game consoles stacked neatly under the TV attached to the wall. Then she sees an odd collection of little penguin figurines on a study table overlooking the view of the city outside. Mina has undoubtedly one of the best views Nayeon has ever seen, making her slightly envious. On top of the table is a Macintosh laptop where Nayeon can see that Mina was watching a movie (_Doctor_ _Strange_—how predictable) earlier before she decided to make breakfast and wake her up.

“Your place is so…” Nayeon lets her eyes sweep around again. The walls are painted a light beige color with sparse furniture lying around. Other than the pictures and the penguins, there’s not much decoration.

“Empty?” Mina asks helpfully, smirking at her.

Nayeon shakes her head. “Not the word I’d use,” she says, returning the smirk, “Just _ free _.” 

Mina raises her eyebrows, intrigued. “What makes you say that?” 

“There’s less clutter and personal belongings which means less things to worry about,” Nayeon says as she takes another sip of Mina’s coffee—it still tastes good, better than anything she’s ever had in coffee shops. “My place, on the other hand, looks like a tornado swept through it.”

Mina giggles, smiling brightly at her. Nayeon stares. For the first time, she catches sight of a silver tooth peeking out from behind Mina’s gummy smile. How did she not notice it before? 

“It can’t be _ that _ bad,” Mina tells her. 

“Please. You should see it every Monday morning.” Nayeon shudders. “I have to clean up soon when I get back.” 

“Okay, then. I’ll take your word for it.” 

Silence. Nayeon takes another bite of her crepe. It has chocolate syrup on top, which she loves. She doesn’t see Mina looking at her with a fond look on her face since she’s so absorbed with her breakfast. 

“So,” Mina says slowly, tucking her hair behind her ear, “are we ready for the wedding?” 

Nayeon nearly chokes. She has to drink her coffee to get her food to go down the right pipe. “Yeah,” she croaks, nodding furiously, “why shouldn’t we be?” 

“You seemed quiet after we met up with Chaeyoung and Tzuyu.” 

“Was I?” 

Mina gives her a look that says she doesn’t believe her innocent act. Nayeon sighs and shrugs, putting her attention back to the food on her plate. 

“Do you think…?” Mina hesitates, making Nayeon glance back up at her. “Do you think they suspect that we’re faking it? Is that what was on your mind last night?”

Nayeon wonders about that possibility. Sure, she and Mina weren’t that _ touchy _ with one another as she’d hoped. But she doesn’t think Chaeyoung or Tzuyu noticed, especially since those two idiots seem completely and utterly wrapped up in each other to care about anything else. Besides, Tzuyu doesn’t know her well enough to notice the shift in Nayeon acting around her girlfriends. With Jennie, she’d been clingy, affectionate and downright _ public _. It hadn’t been like that with Mina at all, save for the handholding. 

But once again, they didn’t seem like they suspected anything. 

“Nah,” she says, waving away Mina’s worries, “you’re still stuck with me as your date for the wedding.” 

Mina nods, pursing her lips. She looks contemplative. 

(Mina is, in fact, trying very hard not to smile.) 

"Are _ you _ready?" she asks again and the mood shifts.

Nayeon has a feeling she won't like this conversation. She frowns, sets her fork down on the table and twists around in her chair to face Mina straight on. "Is there something you want to tell me?" she asks. 

Mina fiddles with the sleeve of her oversized sweater. "I don't know, Nayeonnie," she says, shrugging. 

"Do you want to back out?" The thought makes Nayeon queasy—Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung already know, after all. 

"It's not that," Mina assures her, frowning, "I just think that if we're really going to do this, we need to be honest with each other." 

Nayeon frowns as well, her eyebrows drawing together to form a line. "I have been honest," she says. 

"Nayeonnie." Mina sighs. 

"Mina." 

They have a minor staredown. Mina looks away first, chewing her lower lip. Nayeon smirks, triumphant. 

"You were acting weird after we met up with Chaeyoung and Tzuyu." It's not a question but it's right there for Nayeon to either admit or deny. 

And of course, because Nayeon has a tendency to lash out when faced with the stupid, bitter and undeniable truth about her not being over her ex-girlfriend despite it being over a year already, she denies it: "I wasn't acting weird." 

Mina's frown deepens. Nayeon stands up and heads to the kitchen to deposit her empty coffee cup, not wanting to talk about how down she felt after they met up with Chaeyoung and Tzuyu last night. It was stupid to believe that Mina wouldn’t notice. Mina has been noticing things about her for the past year. It’s why she’s been swooping in and saving Nayeon’s day left and right. Because she knows when Nayeon is in trouble. She’s her guardian angel, after all.

“Nayeon,” Mina calls again, following after her. 

“I’m fine.” Nayeon steels her jaw and leans against the sink. She stares at the picture of Mina and her two friends taped on the refrigerator. She wants to ask but she’s afraid the abrupt change of topic might be too obvious.

Mina stands by the doorway, watching her carefully. “I’m not asking you to tell me everything,” she says, her voice low and careful like she’s afraid that Nayeon might bite her if she raises her voice, “but think about it—if you want this whole pretend thing to work, then I have to know what’s on your mind.”

Nayeon shakes her head. “There’s nothing to tell.” The lie physically pains her. She’s on edge now. Thoughts of Jennie come rushing back in. The wedding is so close. She’s going to see her again. She’s going to see her ex-girlfriend in the arms of somebody else. It’s enough to make her feel nauseous. And it will hurt. It will hurt like a bitch but Nayeon will get over it.

She doesn’t have a choice.

She’s so absorbed in her own thoughts she doesn’t realize that Mina has taken a step closer and is now standing beside her. “Hey,” Mina says, reaching out hesitantly to take her hand.

The warmth of Mina’s palm on her own is enough to bring Nayeon back to reality. She tears her gaze away from the fridge and turns to find Mina’s soft brown eyes looking deep into her own. 

“I’m sorry,” are the words that spill out of her Nayeon’s mouth against her own will.

Mina tilts her head, frowning. “For what?”

“For dragging you into this wedding.” Nayeon smiles wryly. “I’m such a mess, Mina-yah.”

“You’re not a mess,” Mina says firmly and she surprises Nayeon by intertwining their fingers together. “You’re human. You’re in a situation right now where you’re going to see somebody who hurt you in the past and you want nothing more than to pretend that you’re okay. But we both know that’s not the case.” She reaches forward and lifts Nayeon’s chin with her other hand. The gesture makes Nayeon’s mouth go dry. “Am I wrong?” Mina asks quietly.

Again, the urge to lash out at the truth quickly grips Nayeon’s heart but she forces herself not to do so. Mina doesn’t deserve that. She’s been nothing but an angel during this whole situation. So Nayeon grits her teeth and shakes her head slowly.

Mina smiles at her in reassurance. “Okay,” she says, squeezing her hand, “You know, just because we’re pretending to be girlfriends right now doesn’t mean that I can’t be your friend.” 

“God,” Nayeon breathes out. Tears sting the back of her eyes. “You’ve been doing _ so _much for me already. You don’t have to listen to me moan about my ex-girlfriend. We’ll be here the whole day.”

Mina responds to this by tugging onto Nayeon’s hand and dragging her to the living room. She then forces the two of them to sit on the couch. Nayeon watches as Mina lets go of her fingers, walks over to her study table and grabs a tiny penguin plushie. She then hands this to Nayeon. “Think of that as a service dog,” she says, “If you’re feeling particularly angry, just squeeze him.”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to squeeze service dogs…”

Mina laughs, shaking her head. “Just bear with me.” 

Nayeon doesn’t really want to talk about Jennie right now. She doesn’t want to ruin the morning she’s shared with Mina. But she also knows that Mina deserves a heads up about the endless possibilities that might happen in the wedding. For example, Nayeon might end up drinking too much on the first day. Two, she might throw something at Jennie. Three, she might lock herself up in the hotel room and cry her way to sleep. Mina has to be prepared to face this. 

“Okay.” Nayeon takes a deep breath. “You know that I’ve been with Jennie for like, two years, right?”

Mina nods, serious as ever. “Yes.” 

“Well, I haven’t really told you about some other things.” Nayeon squeezes the plushie. “I met Jennie when we were in college. We shared an English elective together. When I saw her that first day, I immediately fell in love.” Talking about it now brings another rush of memories to flood her—both good and bad. She closes her eyes. “I courted her for two years.” 

Mina makes a soft noise of surprise. “Why did she take so long to agree?” 

“She wanted to see how far I was willing to go,” Nayeon explains, shrugging, “so for two years, I waited for her after every class, I bought her gifts, I took her out to dates and I just—” She lets out a frustrated sigh, squeezing the plushie as she does so. “I tried to show her that I was worth it.”

_ But I wasn’t _ , Nayeon thinks bitterly, _ I never was _. 

“I told you that we fell out of love,” she tells Mina, opening her eyes to find the younger girl looking back at her sadly, “but we didn’t. Well, she did. But I didn’t.”

Something shifts in Mina’s expression. She tilts her head, frowning. “Do you still love her?” she asks quietly. It’s the same question she asked nearly a week ago, when Nayeon first asked her to be her fake girlfriend. Nothing has changed much since then—she and Mina only grew closer. But still, when faced with such a simple question, Nayeon can’t help but feel like her entire world has shattered all over again. It’s the same feeling she got when she received Jennie’s last text: _ I’ve met someone else. _

“Yes,” Nayeon whispers, clenching her fists tightly. Her throat clogs up with frustration, anger, sorrow and pain. Everything is too much. She wraps her arms around the penguin plushie, burying her face against its soft exterior and finally letting her tears fall. “I do—I _ still _ do. I still love her so fucking much. Even after she dumped me for someone else, even after she hurt me _ so _ much, even after—after—after she stopped loving me back. I’m so fucking _ stupid _, Mina.” 

Mina surprises her once again by shifting closer and wrapping her arms around her. She positions them in a way where Nayeon’s head snugly fits into her neck and where Mina’s right arm encircles around Nayeon’s waist. The penguin plushie falls to the ground. Nayeon takes a deep shuddering breath and clutches at the front of Mina’s sweater. It’s eleven o’clock on a Saturday morning and Nayeon is crying over her ex-girlfriend. She feels pathetic. It’s been a year already and when she lets herself think too much about what went down between her and Jennie, she always succumbs into a pool of tears. 

There’s just something so _ awful _ about giving your everything to somebody and then watching them run into another person’s arms. She knows Jennie didn’t cheat on her—she firmly cleared that up with Jeongyeon when the nurse confronted her about it. But still, the fact remains. Jennie fell in love with somebody else while she was still with Nayeon. There was something _ lacking _ about Nayeon or maybe there was just something _ wrong _with her. Nayeon has spent the past few months trying to figure it out. Sure, she might’ve been too possessive, too jealous, too clingy. But it was how she loved—this is how she shows her affection to somebody. If Jennie thought that was wrong, was Nayeon obligated to change that part of herself? 

“You’re not stupid,” Mina says suddenly, rubbing soothing circles all over her back, “You might think that you are but you’re not. You loved her. You don’t just shut that part off even after you break up.” 

“I wish I could,” Nayeon mumbles, pulling back to look at Mina. She must look terrible. 

But Mina just looks back at her in contemplation. “We don’t work that way, Nayeon,” she whispers, her hand reaching out to wipe away the tears from Nayeon’s eyes, “We can’t stop loving someone, even if we know better.” 

Nayeon laughs weakly. “You sound like you’ve had some experience.” 

Mina smiles. It’s tinged with sadness. “Perhaps I do.” 

Nayeon wants to ask but then she sees that her tears have soaked through the front of Mina’s sweater. “Sorry about your shirt,” she says, blushing in embarrassment. 

Mina just laughs and shakes her head. “It’s okay,” she says and Nayeon sees the glint of her silver tooth, “I’m just glad that you told me.” 

“When we get to the wedding,” Nayeon says, letting out a deep breath, “I might go a little crazy. Do you think you can handle a drunk and heartbroken Nayeon? I’ve been told that I get really clingy. I might even end up kissing you a few times.” 

Something in Mina’s brain must’ve short-circuited because the younger girl opens and closes her mouth a few times with no sound coming out. Her eyes are wide and her cheeks are red. She looks so adorable that Nayeon manages to crack a smile, despite having just cried her out a few seconds ago. She reaches out and pats Mina’s cheek lightly.

“Guess we’ll find out, huh?” she says, smirking. 

Mina sighs. “I’ll be there for you,” she assures her, “You are more than welcome to go a little crazy on me. I’ll be the best pretend girlfriend there is.”

Something inside Nayeon’s ribcage stirs. She allows herself a few seconds to stop and stare at Mina, appreciating her for being such a good co-worker and an even better friend. Mina notices her stare and her blush deepens. “Is there something on my face?” she asks nervously. 

“No,” Nayeon answers. Then she does something on impulse—she leans forward and presses a kiss on the corner of Mina’s mouth. She doesn’t pull away immediately, her ears catching onto Mina’s sharp intake of breath. “Thank you,” she whispers against her skin. 

“Nayeonnie…” 

Nayeon leans back. “I’m glad I met you,” she says, grinning, “You really are my guardian angel.” 

She bends down to grab the penguin plushie that fell earlier, once again completely missing the soft way Mina looks at her. Like she’s her entire world. In a way, Nayeon is. 

…

(_ We can’t stop loving someone, even if we know better _.

Mina wants to laugh. What a fucking joke.)

…

The next few days go by in a blur. They have a routine now. Nayeon begins her day with two cups of coffee and a bag of bagels. She meets Mina by the front of the building, Mina tells her that her coffee is either too sweet or too bland, they ride the elevator together, Nayeon hands Mina a bagel, they talk about what they did the night before, Nayeon leaves a quick kiss on Mina’s cheek before they part ways. The hours leading up to lunch are spent texting each other about their likes and dislikes. Then when they see each other again, Nayeon proceeds to quiz Mina about the handbook and Mina aces all of them. After lunch, they work in their respective offices. Nayeon convinces Mina not to work overtime, Mina agrees, they spend their afternoons together, sometimes even splitting the bill for dinner. Then Nayeon takes Mina home. 

Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. 

And then, before they both know it, the wedding day has arrived. 

…

(Mina takes a deep breath when she sees her phone lighting up with Nayeon’s text: _ im downstairs. Jeong’s already in the car. R u ready? _

_ Ready to watch you pine over your ex-girlfriend? I don’t have a choice _. She thinks to herself, bitterly and sadly, as the memories of Nayeon’s tears flood her memories again. She sends a quick affirmative to Nayeon before grabbing her small suitcase and locking the apartment behind her.

_ I still love her so fucking much _, Nayeon had said.

Mina’s heart constricts. She closes her eyes, leans on the wall opposite her apartment and takes another deep breath. She tries to think, tries to remember what got her to agree to this in the first place, tries to understand what it is about Im Nayeon that is just so easy to love. Because at the end of the day, she knows she’s the only one who’s going to get hurt. 

“We do stupid things,” she murmurs to herself, “for the ones we love.”)

...


	3. fool, don't you know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Where Nayeon and Mina head to the wedding and meet the rest of the gang.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy some DubChaeng, ET, Sahyo, Jeongmo, Misamo and 3Mix dynamics!

_Fool, it’s you_   
_From the beginning it was you_   
_Do you know? I want to know you more_   
_When will you know this heart?_

_Fool, don’t you know? You really don’t know?_   
_Everyone but you knows, don’t you know?_   
_Don’t get any prettier because I’ll get nervous_   
_Because I’ll like you more, because I love you more_   
_Fool, don’t you know?_

_ \- _Kim Jong Kook, Baboya

…

Jeongyeon is a pain in the ass the entire three-hour ride back to their hometown. She whines about Nayeon’s song choices, bores her to death when she proceeds to spend the next hour talking to Mina about video games and then snores loudly when she falls asleep for the last thirty minutes of the trip. Nayeon throws an apologetic look at Mina’s way who only laughs in return. 

“Sorry about her,” Nayeon grumbles, refocusing on the road, “She gets really weird whenever she’s on her day off. Cons of being part of the healthcare industry, I guess.”

“It’s good that she has some time off,” Mina muses. 

“You can say that.” Nayeon hums, turning a corner leading back home. She can see the familiar landmarks passing them by. “By the way,” she adds, careful not to let anything slip just in case Jeongyeon is conscious, “you know about my friends, right? Some of them can be a bit weird. If Dahyun starts flapping her arms at you, just ignore her.” 

Mina snorts. “I’m aware of her eagle dance,” she says, “you sent me a video, remember?” 

Nayeon nods, trying her best to relax. “And if Jihyo corners you into a room for an impromptu interrogation, just don’t make any sudden movements, okay? Or else she’ll eat you up.” 

“You make it sound like I’m going to face off a lion.” 

“Chaeyoung’s the lion—Jihyo’s just protective. And scary. Plus she’s one of the top lawyers in the district.” Nayeon feels herself tensing up all over again as she remembers the last time Jihyo was protective over Nayeon—Jihyo never really approved of Jennie, after all. Despite this, when Nayeon got dumped, Jihyo was the one who drove all the way from their town and then to Seoul just to comfort her. Even though Jihyo had every right to say ‘I told you so,’ she never did. And for that, Nayeon will eternally be grateful.

“You have good friends, Nayeon,” Mina says, glancing over her shoulder to where Jeongyeon is sprawled all over the backseat of her car. She smiles softly. “You honestly think I’m going to judge them?”

“_ I _judge them on a daily basis so I wouldn’t be surprised if you will.”

Nayeon feels Mina’s warm hand on top of her own when she moves to shift gears. She chances a glance at the younger girl, only to find her gummy smile directed at her. Something in her chest stutters—she has to look away quickly. 

“I promise to love them as much as you do,” Mina tells her, squeezing her hand. 

“What makes you think I love them?” Nayeon grumbles. 

“Because you _ do. _” Jeongyeon’s voice, muffled by the beanie she has placed on her face. She shifts around and Nayeon catches her glare on the rearview mirror. “You might act like we annoy the shit out of you, Nabongs, but you’d do anything to make your friends happy.”

“I don’t recall giving you permission to speak to me after you _ insulted _my music choices,” Nayeon tells her best friend. 

“Who the fuck listens to Justin Bieber nowadays?” 

“_ I do! _”

Mina laughs, shaking her head, as Nayeon and Jeongyeon explode over such a comment. It takes nearly ten minutes and Nayeon threatening to drive her car into a tree if Jeongyeon doesn’t take back what she said for them to both calm down. Then it’s silence with Nayeon glaring hard at the road and Jeongyeon crossing her arms with a pout on her face. Mina is hiding her gummy smile behind her hand and even though Nayeon is still miffed about the whole thing, she can’t help but smile back. 

…

(“Control your girlfriend, Mina-yah,” Jeongyeon mutters loudly as they pull up to the mansion Tzuyu’s family has apparently rented out for the entire week, “She seriously threatened to kill us over a fucking Justin Bieber song.”

Nayeon flicks the middle finger at her best friend and Mina thinks it’s so depressing that she has literally never found anybody as attractive as Im Nayeon.) 

…

Nayeon barely manages to get out of her car before she hears a loud “_ Nayeonnie!” _from behind her. She turns around and is immediately wrapped up in a hug by someone a few inches shorter than she is. When she sees a flash of silver hair, a smile immediately comes to her lips. She stumbles, leaning heavily on the car door behind her and glancing into Mina’s direction. Mina gives her that gummy smile again, her silver tooth flashing under the glint of the sun. 

“Okay, first of all,” Jeongyeon says, stepping out of the car as well, her hair a mess, “what am I? A potato? Don’t I get a hug too?” 

Dahyun doesn’t let go of Nayeon but only shifts her around so that she can face Jeongyeon as well. Nayeon lets her. “I haven’t seen Nayeon in _ forever _, Jeongyeon-unnie,” Dahyun says.

Jeongyeon scoffs. “We haven’t seen each other too, you know,” she points out.

“Yeah, but we always play Fortnite so it’s like you never left.” 

“Fucking nerds,” Nayeon comments before she wraps her arms around Dahyun tightly, “It’s good to see you, Dubu.” 

Dahyun grins, releasing her. “You lost weight, unnie. Have you been eating well?” 

“Yeah, of course.” 

“You should ask her girlfriend to get the truth out of her,” Jeongyeon says slyly, nodding at Mina whose standing by her side of the car. 

Dahyun’s eyes widen as she looks at Mina. “Oh, shit!” she says and then slaps her hand over her mouth. She waves happily at Mina who returns the gesture. “Chae mentioned you when she got back last week. Wow, you really are pretty.” 

Nayeon hits Dahyun over the head. “Careful,” she says menacingly, even though there’s no bite in her tone, “that’s my girlfriend.” 

“Besides,” Jeongyeon says, pulling Dahyun into her roughly by the shoulder to tackle her into a hug; the silver-haired girl whines loudly but after a few seconds of struggling, she melts into Jeongyeon’s embrace, “we all know how hopeless Dahyun is when it comes to girls.” 

“Shut up.” Dahyun pouts. 

Nayeon gestures for Mina to come closer. “Anyway, Dahyun-ah,” she says, wrapping her arm around Mina’s middle—the action itself is instinctive and her heart flutters when she realizes that Mina didn’t flinch, not like the way she used to anyway. She must’ve gotten used to this already. The thought is enough to make Nayeon feel warm all over. _ Practice does make perfect _.

“Yes, unnie?” 

“This is Myoui Mina,” Nayeon introduces and Mina smiles, gesturing between the two, “We’ve been together for a few weeks now so I hope you’ll behave yourself. I don’t want you scaring her off.” 

Dahyun gasps, looking hurt. “You really think I’d scare her off?” 

“If you do your eagle dance in person, then yes,” Jeongyeon states. 

“Hey, that dance _ is _iconic! Chaeyoung got a second date with Tzuyu because of that.” 

“You seriously underestimate Chaeyoung’s ability to woo women,” Jeong says, shaking her head; “There’s a reason why _ she’s _my wingwoman instead of you.” 

Nayeon hits her over the head. “Don’t discourage Dahyunnie!” she scolds, “If she ends up alone with twenty cats, I’m blaming it on _ you _!” 

Jeongyeon scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Whatever, Nabongs.” She lets go of Dahyun and pushes her towards Mina. “Anyway, introduce yourself, kid. We taught you manners, remember?” 

Dahyun huffs, like the kid that she is. But she turns to Mina with a large smile on her face. “I’m Kim Dahyun,” she greets, extending one hand for Mina to shake, “I’m Chaeyoung’s best woman in this wedding. Well, I always have been, of course, if you get my drift. That is, until she dropped me for Tzuyu. No hard feelings involved.” Dahyun’s eyes suddenly fill with tears and Nayeon frowns, rushing forward. “Sorry!” the silver-haired girl exclaims, hastily wiping her eyes and laughing at the open-mouthed expression Mina has on her face, “It’s just—_ oh my God _ —my best friend is actually getting _ married _?”

Jeongyeon laughs, even though a part of her expression looks stunned as well. “Holy shit,” she mumbles, glancing at Nayeon. 

“Yeah.” Nayeon tries to swallow the lump in her throat—it’s so strange to be reminded of how little you’ve actually accomplished in this world. “Holy shit indeed.”

Dahyun sniffs. “I can’t believe one half of DubChaeng is getting hitched,” she mutters. 

“My NoJam bro,” Jeongyeon says, looking like she’s been punched in the gut, “Who the fuck is supposed to be my wingwoman now?” 

“Hey, I can be a good wingwoman too—” Dahyun tries to say, only to be rudely interrupted. 

“I’m going to be single for the rest of my life!” Jeongyeon wails, turning away and grabbing her bag from inside Nayeon’s car, “Single for life, I tell you! Holy shit—Chaeng, where the fuck are you? Why the fuck are you leaving me so soon? You can’t expect me to put up with Dahyun’s bullshit!” 

“Now you’re just being rude.” Dahyun sighs before following after her unnie, looking dejected but somehow happy at the same time. Nayeon can’t help but smile. Dahyun and Chaeyoung have been best friends their entire lives—for them, the world would not make as much sense without each other. Dahyun might not know this but Chaeyoung would never think of her as anything less than her number one. What this wedding means is that Dahyun and Tzuyu are now just sharing that spot in Chaeyoung’s heart. 

“See?” Mina’s voice brings Nayeon back to the present. The older girl turns and finds Mina smiling brightly at her. She doesn’t look put off at not being able to utter a single world during the earlier interaction. “You love your friends.” 

Nayeon sighs, not bothering to deny it any longer. “Not as much as I love my _ girlfriend _,” she whispers, emphasizing the word before she takes hold of Mina’s hand; “Anyway, let’s go. I wanna see the mansion Tzuyu’s parents have rented out. Chaeng definitely hit the jackpot with this one.” 

…

(_ It’s not real, it’s not real _ , _ it’s not real _, Mina tells herself fiercely. 

She lets Nayeon lead the way to the front of the mansion, their fingers still intertwined. She lets Nayeon talk to her about Dahyun and Chaeyoung’s relationship, most notably known as DubChaeng. She lets Nayeon introduce her deeper into her life, almost as if she expects Mina to always be a part of it.

Mina pretends that she is.) 

…

The mansion has five floors and several rooms in between that Nayeon loses count almost immediately afterwards. There are even servants waiting around, ready to direct them to their rooms. It’s chaotic but organized at the same time. A few of the guests have already arrived the days before. Nayeon recognizes some of Chaeyoung’s workmates, a few classmates from high school and then she assumes the others are Tzuyu’s guests. She searches the place for Jihyo but doesn’t find her. Meanwhile, Jeongyeon and Dahyun are talking to one of the servants, asking where their room is. Dahyun, despite having stayed in the mansion for the past few days, still apparently gets lost and confused. 

“Whoa,” Nayeon mutters when she spots two servants carrying a sack of dog food to the third floor, “Tzuyu must be freaking rich.” 

“She did mention being a model back in Taiwan,” Mina points out. 

“Right.” Nayeon clears her throat, realizing that their hands are still intertwined. She doesn't let go though. "We should probably find our room." 

"Nabongs! Mina-yah!" Jeongyeon suddenly calls, waving them over. She holds up two sets of keys. "Your room is right next to mine and Dahyun's." 

"I thought you were sharing one with Chae," Nayeon tells Dahyun, slightly amused at this fact.

Dahyun pretends like she's been shot through the heart. "My best friend left me for her fiancé," she declares, "DubChaeng, for the first time since time itself was even written, is only Dub." 

"Dab?" Mina asks. 

"Dub, like in Dubu," Jeongyeon corrects, pinching Dahyun's pale cheeks, "Anyway, she's been waiting for us the past few days so that she can actually _ have _a roommate." 

"Cons of being single, dude." 

"Can't relate," Nayeon comments, pushing at Jeongyeon's shoulder, "Anyway, can you _ please _lead the way? I literally drove us here—I need a break." 

"You're not the one who had to endure Justin Bieber songs," Jeongyeon grumbles. Nonetheless, she leads the way with Dahyun happily skipping after her. 

Mina giggles and lets go of Nayeon's hand so that she can take her luggage too. Nayeon opens her mouth to decline the offer but Mina merely shakes her head and walks up the stairs in pursuit of Jeongyeon and Dahyun. For a second, Nayeon is struck speechless by the easy way she lifts two suitcases.

"Best girlfriend, right?" Mina says over her shoulder, grinning broadly. Nayeon shuts her mouth, returns the same grin and follows suit. 

Their room is located on the top floor, which means Nayeon is already winded by the time they reach the final steps. Mina, on the other hand, continues walking despite being the one holding both of their suitcases. Nayeon wonders if she works out, since that seems to be the only plausible reason she didn’t get tired after four flights of winding staircases. Thankfully, Dahyun is in the same predicament as she is because the silver-haired girl is still trying to catch her breath when Nayeon walks up to her. 

“I can’t believe Tzuyu actually rented out an entire mansion by the ocean,” she mutters, rubbing her side. 

“She’s loaded,” Dahyun tells her, “Like _ seriously _loaded. On their third date, Tzuyu took Chaeyoung back to Taiwan and introduced her to the family.” 

Nayeon blinks. “Well,” she comments, “she moves fast.” 

“No shit, Sherlock.” Dahyun grins at her, glancing at where Jeongyeon and Mina are looking for their rooms since the hallway they found themselves in doesn’t seem to end, “Anyway, Mina seems like a nice girl.” 

Nayeon grins broadly. “She’s not _ just _a nice girl,” she says, trying to decide how much fluff and cheesiness she should use in her tone to project a real, loving relationship. Before she can open her mouth to talk about how she and Mina got together (using the fake coffee date story they both conjured), Dahyun beats her to it. 

“I like the way she looks at you.” 

Nayeon falters, tilting her head to the side. “Eh?” 

“Mina-unnie.” Dahyun stares at her, eyes sparkling. “She looks at you like you’re her everything.” 

“Oh! Eh?” Nayeon clears her throat, feeling a blush creep up on her cheeks, as she thinks back to her previous interactions with Mina. Had the younger girl been looking at her like _ that _? She must be a really good actress then. “I haven’t really noticed,” she mumbles lamely. 

“You haven’t? Jeez, unnie, it’s obvious that she really likes you.” Dahyun links their arms together and leads them to Mina and Jeongyeon. “I’m happy you found someone else, especially after what happened with Jennie.” 

The mention of her ex-girlfriend is enough to remind her of the pain she’s been trying to bury the past few months. She prays Dahyun won’t notice anything off about her as she carefully asks, “So, she’s coming here with Jisoo right?” 

Dahyun winces. “Yeah, I tried to tell Chae that it wasn’t a good idea but they’re also Tzuyu’s close friends so… Don’t worry, though. I heard that they can’t make it to the bachelorette party later. They’ll show up at the wedding.” 

“No, it’s definitely fine.” Nayeon waves away Dahyun’s worries. “It’ll be a little awkward but I’m happy for them both.” The lie hurts. She grits her teeth and smiles. “Things have a way of working out, after all.” 

Dahyun beams proudly. "Mina must be really special, huh?" she asks in a low whisper, “To make you forget about Jennie.” 

Before Nayeon can respond, she catches Mina’s eye from across the hallway. She pauses, feeling like there’s something warm and light stirring inside her chest when she understands what Dahyun was talking about earlier. Mina looks at her with soft eyes and an even softer smile as she waits for Jeongyeon to open the rooms for them. Like Nayeon is the one thing on earth that she wouldn’t mind waking up next to every single day. _ Damn _. Nayeon is impressed—Mina can be really good at convincing the world that she has actual feelings for her. 

“Yeah,” Nayeon tells Dahyun, feeling her cheeks warm, “she is.” 

…

(Nayeon links their arms together as soon as Jeongyeon and Dahyun leave them alone. 

“You’re really good at this, you know,” Nayeon whispers, leading them towards the next room.

“Good at what?” Mina asks.

“Pretending that you’re in love with me.” 

“Oh.” Mina pretends like her heart didn’t just break. _ Because I am _, she wants to say. What comes out instead is: “Thanks, I guess.”)

…

The entire mansion feels like a hotel, full of guests and servants. Nayeon remembers Chaeyoung saying something about their wedding being ‘a small ceremony.’ Apparently, she and Tzuyu don’t have the same dictionary. There’s a large open tent behind the property, filled with tables and chairs for people to mingle with one another. It's where the wedding will also take place. It overlooks the sea so when Nayeon steps outside with Mina, Jeongyeon and Dahyun in tow, she is immediately hit with the scent of saltwater. Her eyes skim the surroundings, trying to find people she might recognize. She sees Yeri and Somi, two of Chaeyoung’s closest friends in college. Then a few more familiar faces from their old high school—Jiwon, Natty and even Minyoung. They all have a table for themselves, chatting animatedly with each other. Nayeon makes a mental note to talk to them later. 

She needs to find Jihyo. It’s been _ months _since they’ve last seen each other in person. She won’t admit this out loud but she misses her so much already. 

“I’m calling her,” Jeongyeon mutters, pulling out her phone. Dahyun walks over to Yeri and Somi, waving at them happily. 

“Yes, please.” Nayeon takes a seat on the nearest table in front of them, Mina obediently sitting next to her. On instinct, the older girl reaches out and holds her hand. “How are you feeling?” 

Mina gives her a reassuring smile. “I’m good.” She looks around and Nayeon stares at her side profile. “This place is beautiful. A perfect venue for a wedding,” she muses. 

“Yeah,” Nayeon murmurs, still staring at Mina, “Beautiful.” 

“Jihyo-yah,” Jeongyeon says on her phone, finally reaching the person on the other side, “where the hell are you?” 

Nayeon perks up, turning to her best friend as Jeongyeon talks to Jihyo. 

“Tell her to get her ass here,” she demands, “I want her to meet my girlfriend already!” Mina squeezes her hand as a response to this. 

“Yo, Park,” Jeongyeon says, “Nayeon wants you to meet Mina already. Can’t you just like, meet us in this huge ass tent outside? We’re literally by the entrance.”

“Say no more,” a voice behind them says suddenly. 

Jeongyeon nearly drops her phone on the ground due to her surprise. Nayeon stands up immediately, knowing that voice anywhere. When she turns, she sees Jihyo smiling brightly at them. Behind her are two girls Nayeon doesn’t instantly recognize but somehow feels awfully familiar to her. She pays them no mind, focusing instantly on Jihyo. Her dark brown hair is shorter now with bangs covering her fringe, making her look younger than usual. She’s staring expectantly at Nayeon. 

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Nayeon grumbles. 

“Funny,” Jihyo says, cracking a smile, “I’ve been _ avoiding _you.”

“Now you’re just being rude, Park.” 

“That’s not a very creative comeback, unnie,” Jihyo teases, putting her hands on her waist, “Have you lost your touch or did you just miss me?” 

Nayeon sticks her tongue out at her. 

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes at her two friends and pulls Jihyo into a hug. “Just shut up and hug me, will you?” 

Jihyo obliges, wrapping her arms around Jeongyeon who makes a big show of even swinging her around. The shorter girl shrieks, slapping the the nurse’s arm before she pulls back with a smile so warm that it could practically melt all the icebergs in the world. Then she turns to Nayeon. 

“You didn’t answer my question, Nayeonnie,” she says, opening her arms. Nayeon immediately falls into them. It feels like home. “Did you miss me?” 

“Shut up, shorty,” Nayeon mutters, squeezing her best friend tightly, “It’s been too long.” 

Jihyo laughs, agreeing. When they pull back, Nayeon presses a quick kiss on her forehead. “There’s your answer,” she says before turning her attention back to the newcomers who came with Jihyo. “Who are your new friends?” 

Jihyo takes a step back and gestures to the two girls. One has long pink hair, large hazel eyes and a pointed nose. Her smile is sweet, almost deadly. She’s drop-dead gorgeous though. Nayeon can see her being on the cover of some high-end magazine. “This is Minatozaki Sana, one of Tzuyu’s college friends,” Jihyo says. 

Nayeon notices the way Jihyo looks at Sana for a second too long before moving on. The second girl has long dark hair and an amused smile playing on her lips. She’s tall and fit. Nayeon wonders what she does in her free time to get a body like _ that _. “This is Hirai Momo, another one of Tzuyu’s college friends. All three of them also worked at the same modeling industry,” Jihyo introduces before she turns back to Nayeon and Jeongyeon, “We’ve been getting to know each other the past week, since you took your time getting here.” 

Nayeon finds herself staring at Sana and Momo—they really _ do _look familiar. 

“Not all of us can drop everything for an impromptu wedding, Jihyo,” Jeongyeon points out, “It’s hard to get day-offs when you work at a public hospital.” 

“We’re happy that you made it though,” Sana says, her voice sweeter than her smile. 

“Tzuyu-yah was very thrilled when she heard that you arrived safely,” Momo shares, also smiling. 

Jihyo introduces Nayeon and Jeongyeon to Sana and Momo. Dahyun comes back from her short conversation with Somi and Yeri, her face lighting up when she sees that they’ve all been acquainted. “Best of both worlds!” she exclaims, letting herself be wrapped up in a hug by Sana who squeals and pinches her cheeks. Nayeon raises an eyebrow—they really _ did _get to know each other while she and Jeongyeon were still in Seoul. 

“Anyway,” Jihyo says, looking at Nayeon, “where’s this girlfriend of yours?” 

_ Oh shit _. “Right, sorry!” Nayeon turns back to the table where Mina has sat the whole time, watching the exchange. For some reason, Mina is wearing a deer-caught-in-the-headlights-look.

She flinches when Nayeon reaches out and extends her hand. “Mina, are you okay?” she asks, tilting her head to the side when Mina nods a bit too fast. 

“Yeah, sorry.” Mina takes a deep breath and accepts Nayeon’s hand, pulling herself up to her feet. “I was just—” 

“OH MY GOD?”

Sana’s voice. Nayeon frowns and twists around, her hand still joined with Mina’s. Jeongyeon, Jihyo and Dahyun are all staring at Sana and Momo who both look like they’ve just seen a ghost. Nayeon notices that their eyes are fixed on Mina who winces at the sheer volume of Sana’s voice but nonetheless smiles back at her.

"Hi, Satang," Mina says, gummy smile in place, "Hi, Momoring. It's good to see you both." 

“_ Minari _?” Momo asks, her voice getting all high-pitched, “Like, Myoui Mina? Oh my God, is that really you?” 

“What a small world!” Sana squeals excitedly, letting go of Dahyun and immediately wrapping Mina in a tight hug, “I’ve missed you so much!” 

_ Oh _. Now Nayeon realizes why they both looked so familiar. In her mind’s eye, she thinks back to Mina’s apartment, most specifically the kitchen, where the refrigerator stood. She remembers the photograph taped on it—the one with Mina surrounded by two other girls. She didn’t make the connection sooner because Sana and Momo had different hair colors back then. But now, she sees it as clear as day. 

“You know each other?” Jeongyeon asks, turning to Nayeon for an explanation. 

Thankfully, Momo steps up and provides one: "We were all high school classmates back in Japan." She quickly embraces Mina as well before pulling back with an ecstatic grin. The way she looks at Mina sets Nayeon on edge—she knows that look anywhere; it's the same one she used to wear whenever she looked at Jennie.

Almost at once, Sana begins chatting with Mina in Japanese who also responds in the same language. Momo joins in and the three of them continue to chat like Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Jihyo and Dahyun aren't staring at them, unable to understand. Finally, Mina gives notice when Nayeon impatiently clears her throat. She sheepishly sends her an apologetic look and finally says something in Korean: 

"Sana-chan, Momo-chan, this is my gi—girl—girlfriend," she stutters, gesturing at Nayeon who gives them a tight smile, "Nayeonnie, these are my close friends from high school." 

Momo frowns, looking crestfallen. Sana just grins as she excitedly gushes: "Look at you, having a girlfriend and all!" 

"Mina didn't mention that you guys were coming," Nayeon says, feeling an itch in her chest. Mina didn't mention them _ at all. _Panic settles in—she never thought that any of Tzuyu's guests would recognize Mina. A part of her wonders how this will all turn out in the end and if Mina can keep up the facade in front of people who know her. She needs to talk to her about this. Preferably without Sana clinging to her and Momo giving her heart eyes. 

_ Just three days _ , she thinks to herself, _ Three days of pretending. _

"I didn't even know that they were friends with the bride," Mina says shakily and Nayeon has a feeling that she understands the predicament that they're in. 

Sana giggles, her arm still wrapped around Mina. "We lost touch with Mina after moving away for college," she explains, squeezing Mina's cheeks and leaning in for a quick kiss on her forehead, "but I'd recognize this little cutie anywhere." 

Mina blushes and Nayeon's throat tightens. 

"You still look as beautiful as ever, Minari," Momo tells Mina sincerely, whose blush deepens. Their hands are loosely clasped with each other's, almost like Momo needs the physical contact to ensure that Mina won't suddenly disappear.

Before Nayeon can open her mouth, Jeongyeon and Jihyo are suddenly by her side, pinching her arms. She yelps in pain. "Take a chill pill," Jeongyeon warns as Jihyo smiles brightly at Sana and Momo to assuage them from suspecting anything. 

Dahyun jumps up in front of the three recently reunited friends, frantically waving her arms. "Ah, unnies!" she begins in a panicked tone, "we should go find a table so that we can all catch up, right? I'll even find Chae and Tzuyu!" 

Momo looks confused. "Don't we have a bachelorette party later?" she asks. 

"It starts at six so we still have plenty of time!" Dahyun grabs Momo's hand, pulling her away from Mina. "Come on, let's go find Chaeyoung!" 

Momo looks put off but she obediently follows after Dahyun. 

Jihyo detaches herself from Nayeon, sends her a quick '_ behave yourself _' glare and takes Sana's hand in hers. "Let's go find Tzuyu," she chirps, "I think she's with Elkie, discussing last minute changes." 

Compared to Momo, Sana looks happy to be dragged away from Mina. Or maybe she's just happy to be dragged away by _ Jihyo. _Whatever the case, Nayeon watches them go, completely unaware that Jeongyeon has now let go of her arm. 

"I'll, uh," the nurse says, rubbing the back of her neck, "find us a table or something. You're welcome to join me after—after you guys settle the tension here. Okay, bye!" She leaves quickly. 

Nayeon turns to Mina, taking a step closer with her arms crossed. "What was that?" she hisses. 

Mina flinches and Nayeon immediately feels bad. "I didn't know they'd be here," she grumbles, looking both apologetic and annoyed. 

"Well, we can't do anything about that now," Nayeon mutters as she lets out a frustrated sigh. From the corner of her eye, she sees Mina fidgeting with the sleeves of her blouse, looking lost in thought. "Momo liked you before, huh?" she states blankly, hoping to get the reaction she needs. 

Mina freezes. Nayeon nods promptly, crossing her arms. Something dark and heavy finds its way into her chest but she pointedly ignores this. 

“Is it that obvious?” Mina asks quietly. 

“It’s the way she looks at you,” Nayeon says, looking down at her shoes and contemplating her next words, "I thought you said you never dated anybody." 

Mina grows quiet again, her hand coming up to rub awkwardly at her neck. She looks like she's debating how much of the truth she should share. Nayeon waits as patiently as she can and when it's clear that it might take a while for Mina to open up, she rolls her eyes and intertwines their fingers together. 

"Come on," she says, tugging at Mina to follow her, "you were the one who told me we should be honest with each other if you want this whole thing to work." 

She leads them down by the beach where the smell of saltwater grows stronger and the sounds of waves crashing against the shore grow louder. Mina pauses, looking at the ocean, and Nayeon remembers the time the younger girl talked about swimming in the deep blue waters when she was a kid, feeling at one with the sea. Nayeon lets go of their hands but to her surprise, Mina steps forward and connects them again.

“Nothing happened between Momo and I,” she says quietly, “but there were feelings involved.” 

Nayeon looks at their hands. “She never made a move?” 

“Something like that.” There’s a faint blush on Mina’s cheeks. “I liked her a lot back when we were still freshmen. She only liked me back during senior year. By then, I was already planning to move to South Korea for college so it didn’t seem like a good idea to start a relationship together. Then we lost touch and I haven’t heard from her since then.”

Nayeon feels a lump in her throat as she moves her gaze to the ocean. The waves are calm and serene. They’re close enough that if she inches her toes forward, she’ll feel the water. But she doesn’t want to get her feet wet. Mina, on the other hand, looks at the water like she’s longing to be submerged in it—like there is literally nowhere else she’d rather be than with the marine life. This is the same look Nayeon imagines everybody else sees when Mina looks at her—the same look that spoke of fondness, want and love. Perhaps the ocean is what Mina thinks about when she pretends to be in love with Nayeon. Perhaps she’s thinking about Momo again and what it was like to be so consumed with a want so strong that it lasted four years of high school.

“Wait until the wedding is over,” Nayeon blurts out, squeezing Mina’s fingers, “We can pretend to break up a few days later and you try with Momo again.” 

Mina glances at her, thrown off guard. “Why would I do that?” She lets go of Nayeon’s hand.

“Do you still have feelings for her?” 

“Well, I—” Mina bites her lower lip. “I don’t know. It’s been so long.” 

“Don’t let me stop you,” Nayeon jokes and her heart constricts, “Maybe you can try again.” 

(_ I don’t want to try again _ , Mina thinks bitterly, _ I don’t want anybody else _ — _ I want _you.) 

“They must’ve been really important to you,” Nayeon goes on, still staring at Mina’s side profile, “You kept a picture of them on your fridge, even after all these years. And now they’re here. Maybe it’s fate?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Do you think they’ll see right through us?” 

Mina shakes her head, finally turning towards her and meeting her stare head-on. “Like you said,” she murmurs and Nayeon can hear the quiver in her voice, “I’m good at pretending to be in love with you.” 

For some reason, the words sting. Nayeon nods her head too quickly and forces a smile. Right. Yes. Mina is good at pretending. So is Nayeon, of course. They can get through the next three days. So what if Mina’s friends from high school are here? They’ve barely seen each other the past several years. Some things have got to change, after all. 

She glances over her shoulder and to her surprise, finds Momo looking at them from where she’s standing by the tent. The ugly feeling in her chest returns with a stronger grip now. It’s not _ jealousy _. Maybe it’s just a strong urge to prove that their relationship is real. Because for some reason, with the way that Momo is staring at them in contemplation, Nayeon feels an itch under her skin. An itch that she needs to get rid of.

“I’m sorry that all I can think about is keeping up our facade,” she mumbles, coming to a small decision, “I just don’t want this to blow up in our faces.”

Mina gives her a look. “It’s fine,” she says, “I’m here to help you, remember? My job is to make everybody think that we’re madly in love. That means getting to hold your hand, listening to your rant about your problems and occasionally kissing you.” 

Nayeon feels warm, like she’s standing in front of a fireplace in the middle of winter. Mina has that effect on her—she always has. Her guardian angel. 

“Isn’t it weird,” Nayeon begins, glancing back at Mina who has returned to staring at the ocean, “that even though we agreed to practice, we haven’t actually kissed yet?” 

Mina looks at her quickly, eyes widening. “You want to do it _ now _?” she asks, her voice getting all high-pitched. 

Nayeon shrugs, knowing that Momo is still watching them. She doesn’t tell this to Mina, however. “Why not?” she says, inching closer to her pretend girlfriend, “We’re at the wedding now. We’re standing in front of this beautiful ocean. Everybody knows about us. Plus, we haven’t even practiced yet for when Jennie and Jisoo arrive.” 

Mina’s eyes darken suddenly. “Right,” she murmurs, “we haven’t.” 

“You love the ocean, right?” Nayeon asks, taking another step closer and flashing a smile, “Don’t you want your first kiss to be in front of someplace you love?

Mina is staring at her mouth now. “I wouldn’t mind,” she mutters. 

“You wouldn’t mind if I was your first kiss?” Nayeon teases, echoing their previous conversation.

Mina visibly swallows. “Not at all.” 

Nayeon reaches out and wraps her arms around Mina’s middle, pulling her close slowly. In return, Mina takes a deep breath and encircles her arms around Nayeon’s neck. From the corner of her eye, Nayeon sees Momo tense up and walk away. Their audience—the reason for their kiss—has left but for some reason, she doesn’t take a step back. Now that she and Mina are literally a few inches apart, she can clearly see the moles dotting Mina’s face: on her eyebrow, the bridge of her nose, on top of her upper lip. Nayeon wants to trace them with her thumb, like connecting constellations in the night sky. 

“Nayeon,” Mina whispers, taking a deep breath, “I don’t—I don’t know if I can kiss well.” 

Nayeon laughs, shaking her head. She’s slightly taller than Mina so she carefully tilts her face to the side, watching the emotions in Mina’s warm brown eyes flicker intensely—from anticipation to fear. They’re so close that they’re breathing the same air. Mina’s fingers dive into her hair with slow, deliberate movements and Nayeon’s eyes flutter shut at the feeling. 

“Don’t worry,” she says, her heart suddenly racing, “Practice makes perfect.” 

There’s a sharp intake of breath and then Nayeon goes for it. 

(It’s a miracle that Mina doesn’t die right there and then.)

When Nayeon’s lips press against Mina’s, it feels like the entire world stops moving. It’s_ so _ soft and sweet. Like tasting ice cream for the first time. Only it’s not cold—it’s quite the opposite. Mina’s lips are warm and slightly chapped. They taste like mint lip gloss. At first, they don’t move at all, too nervous to make the first move. Which isn’t like Nayeon at all so she slowly tilts her head again, opening her mouth slightly—asking a silent question and receiving a firm answer in response. Mina inhales a soft gasp but relents, melting into Nayeon’s arms and letting her hands draw back from her hair to cup at her cheeks. 

Nayeon can’t think straight. They’re supposed to be doing this for _ practice _ but for some reason, she wants more. She wants Mina to relax against her, wants her to let her walls down, wants her to trust Nayeon as much as Nayeon trusts her. It’s obvious that Mina is nervous and anxious about her first kiss, if her shaking fingers and shuddering breaths are anything to go by. So Nayeon takes it upon herself to give her the best first kiss of her life. It’s the least she can do—Mina has done so much for her the past year. She wants to pay her back and if this is the best way to do so, then so be it. 

(When Mina feels Nayeon’s hand moving up her back to cup around her neck, a part of her thinks that she’s died and gone to heaven. Because there’s no way she’s kissing Nayeon—the girl she’s been in love with for an entire year—and Nayeon is kissing her back.)

Nayeon tilts Mina’s chin up, kissing into her mouth and dipping her tongue in. Something hot and heavy, completely unlike the emotions she felt when she saw Momo look at Mina, returns in the pit of her stomach. She recognizes it for what it is easily—_ passion _ . Passion she thought has died down when Jennie dumped her for someone else. Before her thoughts go into dangerous territory, she refocuses her attention back to the task at hand. She keeps her fingers on Mina’s neck to pull her closer and keep her pressed against her front. She doesn’t want to stop. Kissing Mina is—she doesn’t know what it is but it’s surely _ unexpected _. Mina is unexpected. Mina has always been unexpected. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing. 

“HEY, LOVEBIRDS!” somebody yells and Mina jumps back, embarrassed. Nayeon feels dazed, like she just inhaled a strong perfume and can’t get back to her senses. Her lips are tingling. When she looks at Mina, she sees the exact same expression reflected back at her.

They both turn back to the tent to find Sana waving at them frantically. “Chaeyoung and Tzuyu are here! Stop making out and get your asses over here!” the pink-haired girl shouts.

“I, uh,” Mina begins as they walk back from the beach, “that was—” 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Nayeon interrupts her gently, still trying to think straight, “It was good.” 

(_ Please don’t say it was practice _, Mina thinks bitterly, feeling her throat close up.)

They don’t hold hands on the way back. Something has shifted. Nayeon doesn’t know what to do with herself, doesn’t know what is right and wrong, doesn’t know when all the lines have suddenly started to blur and melt together. It was supposed to be _ practice _ so why does it feel like she just ran a hundred miles per hour after kissing Mina? Why does it feel like she’s out of breath and Mina is the only breath of fresh air she can inhale? Why does it suddenly hurt to look at her and know that they were only doing it for pretend? 

Nayeon schools her expression into a neutral one. She’s been hiding things for so long now and she’s a master of pretending things don’t matter when they clearly do. She did this with Jennie when they broke up. Pretend like it didn’t crush her soul, hide away the tears, know how to wear a mask in front of people who care about her. 

A part of her knows where this is going.

The larger part is terrified of falling in too deep. 

"That was practice," she finds herself saying out loud and hating the lump in her throat as she says it, "Good practice, right? Now they don't have any reason to doubt us." 

An uneasy expression crosses Mina's face. "Yeah," she agrees, "It was good practice." 

…

(Mina is starting to hate the word _ practice _—like it's a secret that completely tears her up inside. In a way, it is.) 

…

Having the two groups of friends meet up with one another is probably one of the worst decisions Dahyun has ever made. They spend only an hour catching up under the tent but it’s enough for Nayeon to realize just how chaotic the bachelorette party will be tonight. She expected her friends to be chaotic—it’s what happens when you have Jihyo looking out for four idiots (namely Nayeon, Jeongyeon and DubChaeng.) It’s only during their hour-long conversation that she realizes Tzuyu is probably the most mature one in their small trio, despite being the youngest.

They’re seated in a large circle with two tables joined to accommodate the size of their large group. Nayeon is seated in between Mina and Jeongyeon, directly opposite Sana and Momo. The itch under her skin returns again, especially when she sees Momo looking at Mina longingly across the distance. _ Not jealousy _, she tries to tell herself. Sana is in the middle of telling a story about how she and Jihyo met—it involves Jihyo accidentally walking in on Sana naked—when Nayeon sees Jeongyeon shoot a look at Chaeyoung, devious grin in place. Dahyun also notices because she not so subtly shakes her head.

_ Oh no _ , Nayeon thinks, straightening her back, _ those two idiots are going to do something stupid again _. On instinct, she grabs Mina’s hand, the younger girl sending her a strange look. 

“So, you saw everything?” Jeongyeon asks Jihyo, eyebrows raised. 

Jihyo blushes uncharacteristically. “I’m not answering that,” she grumbles.

Sana winks. “I don’t mind, Jihyo-yah.”

Momo rolls her eyes and is about to open her mouth to talk when something small and black jumps up on the table. There’s a split second where time stands still. And then Sana screams, followed by Momo scrambling to get to her feet and Jihyo nearly flipping the table over in an effort to get away fast enough. Nayeon pulls Mina away from the chaos, immediately shielding her away from any flailing limbs she fully expects from Jihyo or maybe even Sana and Momo. She sees Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung doubled over, laughing their fucking assess off. Tzuyu has an unamused expression on her face and Dahyun is bowing to everybody and apologizing for her best friend’s behavior. Nayeon spots the fake cockroach by the ground near Tzuyu’s feet. 

“Chaeyoung-ah,” Tzuyu says in a faux sweet voice, “don’t make me regret saying yes to you.” 

The sheer panic in Chaeyoung’s eyes is worth the chaos they just experienced and Nayeon laughs breathlessly, completely forgetting about the fact that Mina is still wrapped up in her embrace. She only remembers when she feels Mina’s arms circling around her waist and Mina’s lips pressing against her collarbone. It’s obvious that the prank got to her. Nayeon stills but doesn’t pull away. It makes things more believable anyway. 

“See you at the party later!” Dahyun yells after the girls watch Chaeyoung chase after Tzuyu, promising to buy Gucci all the dog treats in the world just to ensure that the wedding won’t be called off. 

Jeongyeon giggles, picking up the fake cockroach off the grass. “Chaeng is whipped.” 

Jihyo repeatedly slaps Jeongyeon on the arm. “STOP GIVING ME HEART ATTACKS!” 

Sana and Momo both leave but not before walking up to Mina again and promising that they’d catch up later. Nayeon still has her arm wrapped around her pretend girlfriend’s neck, smiling sweetly when Momo’s gaze lingers. Jihyo pulls Jeongyeon and Dahyun by the ears and drags them away, looking pissed off. Then it’s just the two of them.

_ Three _ , _ two _ , Nayeon counts silently, _ one _.

She squeezes Mina’s waist once before she lets go. “Come on,” she says, avoiding the younger girl’s eyes, “I think we can nap for a few hours back at the room.”

…

(Mina can’t sleep—not when Nayeon is just a bed away from her, snoring softly into the afternoon after hours of driving and meeting new people; not when Momo and Sana are back in her life, after years of not being part of it; not when all she can think about is Nayeon kissing her like she was trying to tell her something, like it wasn’t just practice, like she actually meant it.

Mina has never felt so hopelessly in love in her entire life.) 

…

“I don’t remember hiring a stripper,” Dahyun tells the girl on the other side of the door, looking adorably confused.

“Of course you didn’t,” Sana says behind Dahyun, snickering, “_ I _did.”

Jihyo stands up from where she was seated with Nayeon, Jeongyeon and Mina. Her large eyes are wide with fear and disbelief. “YOU HIRED A STRIPPER?” she asks in her louder than microphone voice.

“Told you,” Nayeon tells Mina smugly, “Dahyun is too much of a church girl to make this party _ my _definition of fun.” 

Jeongyeon pours all three of them drinks. “This is going to be a long night.” 

Since there are two bachelorettes for tonight, Dahyun decided to just combine the two friend groups. Apparently, Tzuyu also mentioned something about wanting to keep an eye out on Chaeyoung in case she does something stupid, which Dahyun and Chaeyoung both took as a thinly-veiled threat. Now all of Chaeyoung and Tzuyu’s friends are mingling together in a function hall with an indoor bar. Nayeon can see Tzuyu’s high school group talking with Chaeyoung’s—Somi and Yeri daring Sally and Handong for beer pong. She also sees Rose, one of Jennie’s closest friends, in a deep conversation with Ryujin, Chaeyoung’s work friend. On the other side of the room, Momo and Chaeyoung are arguing about which is better—jokbal or strawberry. How that argument started, Nayeon has no clue. She also spots Tzuyu and Elkie talking by the bar, looking serious with their hands clasped together. 

“What’s the program for tonight?” Mina asks.

“Not sure.” Jeongyeon takes a shot. “Most people are usually wasted for this.” 

Nayeon looks over at Dahyun looking frazzled and confused as Sana and Jihyo argue over the presence of the stripper. Then to Nayeon’s absolute shock, Sana pouts and Jihyo’s entire face reddens. After a moment, Jihyo nods and Sana beams, pressing a quick kiss on the shorter girl’s cheek. Then Sana drags the stripper into the center of the room, yelling for everybody’s attention. Their small group doesn’t budge, not really wanting to deal with a stripper right now.

“Did you see that?” Nayeon asks Jeongyeon, aghast, “She just let Sana do whatever she wants!” 

Jeongyeon’s eyes are wide. “Holy shit,” she says, “Jihyo is whipped.” 

Mina tilts her head. “Isn’t it obvious that Sana-chan likes her?” 

“But—but—” Jeongyeon rubs her face “—Jihyo _ never _ likes anybody. Sure, she hooks up with the occasional boy or girl but _ feelings _? Jihyo could never—” 

“I heard that.” Jihyo comes back, still looking red in the face. “Your voices are way too loud, even with this God-awful music playing.” She takes a seat next to Mina, who smiles warmly at her. “Besides,” Jihyo mutters, clearing her throat, “Sana already paid for the stripper so there’s not much I can do about that.”

“You could’ve just kicked the stripper out and then paid Sana for it?” Nayeon suggests. 

“You’re loaded too, Park,” Jeongyeon points out, smirking, “How much does a stripper cost per hour? That’s like your daily allowance back in high school.” 

Jihyo huffs, cheeks turning even redder. “Fuck you all,” she grumbles and takes the shot glass Mina hands her, “I can’t stay sober for this reunion.” 

Momo suddenly calls for Mina across the room, apparently having won at convincing Chaeyoung that yes, jokbal is better than strawberries. Nayeon locks her jaw, eyes narrowed at the small exchange. When Mina turns to look at her, asking a silent question, Nayeon can’t help but sigh and nod. It’s not her place to hold Mina back from spending time with her friends. Still, she _ can _ lean forward and kiss her on the cheek while she’s at it. Mina’s blushing face as she stutters a “ _ be ri—right ba—back _” is something Nayeon will store away in her mind later. 

“Your jealousy’s going to get the best of you, Nabongs,” Jeongyeon says, cackling as she watches Nayeon glare at Momo from where she’s seated, “They’re just friends—leave them alone.”

“I’m not jealous.” 

“And I’m the straightest person on the planet,” Jihyo grumbles. 

“Hey, we all thought you were,” Jeongyeon says, pursing her lips, “then you suddenly waltzed into the room one day and announced that yes, you were in fact bisexual.” 

“That was after she hooked up with Sunmi-unnie, right?” Nayeon asks as she subtly diverts the topic away.

Jeongyeon nods and grins. “You have a thing for girls whose names start with S, don’t you?” 

“Not answering that question.” Jihyo takes another sip of her drink and narrows her eyes at Nayeon. “Anyway, we’re not here to talk about me. I want to know how things went down between you and Mina.” 

Nayeon smiles sweetly. “What about it?” she asks. 

“Don’t give me that smile,” Jihyo scolds half-heartedly, “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you with somebody else. Especially after what happened with you-know-who—”

“Jennie,” Nayeon says, trying her best not to let the name affect her, “Her name is Jennie.”

“Good, because I was seriously thinking Voldemort,” Jeongyeon mutters.

Jihyo looks at her in contemplation. 

“What?” Nayeon asks, her gaze moving over Jihyo’s shoulder to stare at Mina and Momo talking. Her fingers curl around the shot glass in front of her, the one Jeongyeon keeps filling up with tequila. The hot and tight feeling returns to her chest again. She’s not _ jealous _—she’s just worried that Momo might come in between her and Mina’s momentum. She might ruin the careful planning they’ve spent the past two weeks building up.

“Do you like her?” Jihyo questions, her head tilted, “Because if you’re just using her to get back at Jennie—”

“I’m not,” Nayeon spits defensively, even though the truth stings, “I wouldn’t do that to Mina, you know.” 

Jeongyeon is quiet now, probably thinking about something. She leans forward in her chair and drums her fingers on the surface of the table. “Unnie,” she says carefully, “Please tell me you actually _ like _this girl. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. I’ve even talked to her. It’s disgustingly cute.” 

Nayeon raises her eyebrows, wondering what Mina might’ve said about her when she wasn’t around. “What makes you think I don’t like her?” she asks. 

“You _ have _to admit,” Jihyo mumbles, “the timing is kind of suspicious. I didn’t even know you were dating anybody until I mentioned the wedding.” 

“The two of you don’t _ always _need to know everything that’s going on with my life,” Nayeon stiffly says, taking a shot. She needs one—God knows how long this night will be. 

“Says the girl who literally tweets about everything in her workplace,” Jeongyeon says. 

“I told you,” Nayeon huffs, gritting her teeth, “I was being mindful of Mina. She isn’t really the most public person out there.” 

“And yet she’s dating _ you _ , of all people.” Jeongyeon smirks, shaking her head. “Okay, I’ll drop it but if I find out that you’re just _ using _her—”

Nayeon drowns out the rest of her words. Her chest is tight with guilt. She thinks about her entire agreement with Mina. It’s not _ using _ her if Mina knows about it, right? And that she agreed to it? Besides, she and Mina have grown to become close friends. Mina knows how to make Nayeon’s coffee, knows what her favorite movies are, knows all about her family and friends. On the other hand, Nayeon knows what Mina is like every morning before work, her cute facial expressions, what her apartment looks like. And even though Nayeon _ still _ hasn’t figured out how to make Mina’s coffee, she knows how to make her smile and laugh. They’re _ good _ friends. They’ve agreed to fake date for Nayeon’s sake. That’s not _ using _her, right?

She’s suddenly not so sure. 

“Fine,” Jihyo says suddenly, playing with the melting ice in her glass, “I’ll drop it too.”

“Enough about me,” Nayeon remarks casually, leaning back on her chair. Her eyes move to the center of the room where the rest of the girls are hooting and howling while the stripper straddles Sally's lap. Sana has her arm wrapped around Dahyun’s neck, screeching giddily. Dahyun looks like she’d rather be in a confessional booth.

Jihyo follows her gaze. “Nothing’s going on with me and Sana,” she declares. 

“We didn’t even ask yet,” Jeongyeon grumbles.

“You were looking at her.” 

“Hard not to.” Nayeon smirks when Jihyo narrows her eyes at her, clearly displeased by the harmless comment. “What? You have to admit—she’s one of the hottest girls here.” 

“She is,” jihyo mutters, glancing over her shoulder. Her expression softens. “But she’s not all looks, you know. She actually has a Philosophy degree under her name.” 

Both Nayeon and Jeongyeon whistle. “You sure know how to pick them,” the latter observes. 

“Well, you’ve been hanging out with her for a while now, right?” Nayeon says cheekily, leaning forward and placing her chin on top of her hand; “You’ve been getting to know each other for the past week, you’ve seen her naked _ once _ and you’re already so freaking whipped for her. Tell me, Jihyo-yah, has she asked you out yet?” 

Jihyo groans, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I swear to God I’m going to kill you both,” she mutters. Then she reaches for her shot glass. Just as she tips it back for a sip, the three of them hear excited squeals from the center of the room. They all turn and Jihyo _ actually _ spits out her drink in shock. Nayeon’s mouth drops and Jeongyeon slaps a hand to her forehead. Because while the three unnies were catching up, Sana was making sure that everything was going to _ hell _. 

The rest of the girls have formed a semi circle in the center of the room. It’s mostly Chaeyoung and Tzuyu’s high school friends all having their fun with the stripper. But this time, Chaeyoung finds herself being the center of attention as the stripper, with her less than revealing _ lingerie _, chooses her as her next victim. She’s seated next to Momo and Mina, laughing and clapping her hands as the girls all throw paper bills into the air, when the stripper promptly sits on her lap, effectively cutting off the joy in Chaeyoung’s eyes and replacing it with pure, undiluted fear. Everybody screams. Dahyun looks like she’s going to faint. 

“Oh, no,” Jihyo mutters, her focus immediately locking on Tzuyu and Elkie by the open bar. Nayeon follows her gaze and her stomach drops when she sees the _ murderous _expression written all over Tzuyu’s features. Elkie winces, covering her eyes.

Jeongyeon stands up but doesn’t move. It’s obvious that she’s debating whether or not she should save her NoJam bro. When Tzuyu slides down from her stool and _ power _walks straight to where her fiancé is, Jeongyeon chooses the smarter option and sits back down again. 

“I can’t watch this,” she moans, hitting her chest with one fist and pressing two fingers up to the sky, “Rest in peace, Chae.” 

Nayeon closes her eyes and sends a quick prayer to whoever is listening up there. Then she opens them and watches the entire scene closely. The stripper still hasn’t moved from her spot on Chaeyoung’s lap and it’s obvious that the bachelorette just suffered major brain malfunction because she too hasn’t pushed her off. Tzuyu is a few steps away from the two of them when the stripper leans forward, not realizing that the lap she’s chosen has actually been taken by the person who looks ready to kill—

Chaeyoung’s eyes widen when Tzuyu taps the stripper on the shoulder. The poor girl turns around, confused. There must be something in Tzuyu’s eyes that Nayeon can’t see because the stripper immediately falls off Chaeyoung’s lap and scampers away. Everybody watching releases a few nervous giggles. 

But Tzuyu isn’t finished yet. She looks at Sana and Dahyun, the former wearing a huge grin and the latter praying under her breath. Nayeon spots Momo holding in her laughter as she leans on Mina’s shoulder. The tight and heavy feeling returns in her chest again. 

Tzuyu says something they can’t hear. Sana shrugs in response while Dahyun violently shakes her head. Meanwhile, Chaeyoung looks like she’s recovering from a heart attack, her hand clutching her chest. Then her expression falls when Tzuyu looks back down at her again. 

“Come on.” Jihyo gestures for Nayeon and Jeongyeon to stand up. “We gotta protect our baby beast.” 

The three of them quickly rush forward. Then something absolutely _ mind-fucking _ happens. Nayeon catches Tzuyu’s next words: “ _ You’re mine and mine alone, Son Chaeyoung _ ” before Tzuyu takes a seat on Chaeyoung’s lap, wraps her arms around her neck and kisses her senseless, right in front of everybody. The guests all lose their minds, screeching and howling. Jihyo stumbles on the way to the circle and Jeongyeon has to catch her. Dahyun _ actually _faints this time and thankfully, Sana manages to grab her before she hits her head on the ground. Momo’s mouth hangs open. Mina has to reach out and close it shut for her. Nayeon quickens her pace and comes to stand behind her pretend-girlfriend.

“Well,” she says, placing a hand on Mina’s shoulder and squeezing tightly, “this party just got a _ lot _more interesting.”

…

(Mina can’t help but feel like she’s done something wrong, especially when Nayeon’s smile turns a little bit too _ sharp _.) 

…

Thankfully, everything dies down after Tzuyu kisses Chaeyoung. The stripper is unceremoniously kicked out by Jihyo who makes sure to pay extra for her services. Dahyun gets up to her feet and forces Sana out of the room so that they can actually start on the program that she prepared. It’s all pretty standard stuff. A drinking game every time somebody guesses wrong on a Chaeyoung or Tzuyu related question, body shots for the person who doesn’t know when Chaeyoung and Tzuyu met and even beer pong with random Chaeyoung meme faces glued to the cup. 

Nayeon keeps Mina close to her. If they’re not holding hands, Nayeon has her arm wrapped around the younger girl’s middle or her head on her shoulder. She likes to think of it as a power play. Sort of like marking her territory. She watches in triumph as Momo moves to stand next to Tzuyu and Sana (who sneaked her way back in, thanks to Jihyo.)

Chaeyoung still looks stunned about being kissed in front of everybody they know. Sana mentions something about Tzuyu not being public with her affections. The stripper must've really pissed her off. Nayeon laughs because she understands. When Jennie kept getting hit on by girls and boys everywhere, it used to piss Nayeon off too. 

Keyword: _ used to. _

Not anymore. 

Nayeon looks at Mina who’s holding a red plastic cup in one hand. “Are you enjoying yourself?” she asks. The chairs have been disregarded and nearly everybody is on the floor, tipsy or borderline drunk already. Jeongyeon is talking to Minyoung and Sally about being a nurse and crying about how she’s never felt so fulfilled before in her entire life. Sana and Momo are a giggling mess and Jihyo, one of the people with a strong alcohol tolerance, is not so subtly watching them. Meanwhile, Dahyun is sitting in the corner and reading her best man speech out loud to Tzuyu, who looks like she’s struggling whether to cry or laugh. Chaeyoung, Somi and Elkie, for some reason, are all crying and hugging each other.

Mina looks at Nayeon carefully. “I am,” she says, smiling, “though I have to admit, your whole jealous act is working really well. Momo’s too afraid to even look at me most of the time.” 

Nayeon smirks. _ Your whole jealous act _. Yes, exactly. Nothing more than an act. 

“I told you,” she says, pulling back and tucking a strand of Mina’s hair behind her ear. The gesture is slow and deliberate and Nayeon catches Mina’s warm brown eyes staring at her under hooded lids; “I'm jealous, overprotective and a downright annoying girlfriend.” 

They’re sitting quite a distance away from everybody else but Mina still leans forward and for a split second, Nayeon thinks they’re going to kiss. Instead, Mina just tucks her face onto the older girl’s neck and whispers, “Jennie doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.” 

Something inside Nayeon’s chest stutters. “You’re just saying that,” she tries to joke.

“I’m not.” Nayeon wonders that Mina might be a little bit tipsy, even though she hasn’t even finished her cup. Maybe she’s a lightweight? “Anybody would be lucky to have you,” the younger girl mumbles.

“Mina…” 

“What?” Mina huffs. “Just because we’re pretending doesn’t mean I can’t compliment you, you know.” 

Nayeon thinks back to what Jeongyeon and Jihyo tried to tell her earlier. _ If you’re just using her _—Guilt claws at her throat. She shakes her head and pulls Mina a little bit closer, even though she doesn’t have to, even though everybody’s too drunk to notice what they’re doing, even though there’s no Jennie around to pull up a facade for. She does it because she wants to. 

“Thank you,” Nayeon whispers, her voice soft, “for agreeing to do this.” 

Mina hums and takes another sip of her drink. Barely empty. She’s not drunk. Nayeon doesn’t know what to do with this information. 

Somehow, even though it’s obvious Sana drank more than anybody else out there, she is still up for a little game. Nayeon sees her staggering up to her feet and grabbing the mic Dahyun dropped on the floor earlier during the program. She sways and taps on the mic, testing its frequency. Nayeon covers Mina’s ears. Apparently satisfied, Sana yells, “COME ON, BITCHES. LET’S PLAY SPIN-THE-BOTTLE!” 

Everybody groans. “We’re too old for spin-the-bottle!” Yeri calls out from where’s lying next to Natty and Ryujin. 

“Nobody is too old for spin-the-bottle!” Sana declares and she drags Momo and Jihyo to the center of the room again, where they take a seat. The others soon follow. There’s just something about Sana’s aura that makes people radiate towards her. 

Nayeon sighs and tugs Mina along with her. Better get this over with. They find themselves sitting in between Elkie and Dahyun, facing Chaeyoung and Somi. Sana hurriedly grabs an empty bottle from the bar and comes back, looking absolutely giddy. Her eyes are fixed on Jihyo. Nayeon has a feeling Jihyo’s the only reason Sana wanted to play this game in the first place. 

Sana heads to the center and spins the bottle. It lands on Dahyun. Everybody starts cheering. Nayeon sees the look of disappointment on Sana’s face before it’s replaced with a bright grin.

“Lord Jesus, what have I done to spite you?” Dahyun asks in a loud voice, already squirming when Sana crawls towards her and kisses her soundly. After a few seconds, Sana pulls away with a loud _ smack _. 

Dahyun, completely red in the face, spins the bottle next. It moves fast at first then slows down. Nayeon tenses when it points straight at her. 

“For fuck’s sake,” Nayeon mutters and shoots a glare at Mina laughing next to her. 

Dahyun’s kiss is basically a peck. The silver-haired girl sheepishly smiles and returns to her spot. Nayeon regrets joining in this entire game before she reaches out and spins the bottle. This time, it lands straight on Chaeyoung. 

Did she seriously just get DubChaeng?

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!” she yells, glancing at Tzuyu who looks displeased. 

Chaeyoung raises her hands in surrender. “I shouldn’t have joined in.” 

“_ Come on _,” Jeongyeon yells, laughing hysterically, “It’s just a game.” 

“Tzuyu-yah,” Nayeon grumbles as she crawls towards Chaeyoung, “please don’t kill me.” 

Another soft peck. Chaeyoung mimics gagging and Nayeon hits her on the head. Then the game continues on sluggishly. Thankfully, on the next spin, Chaeyoung gets Tzuyu and even though it’s reportedly said that Tzuyu isn’t the publicly affectionate type, she kisses Chaeyoung with an unmatched passion that even has Nayeon blushing. Then Tzuyu spins the bottle and it lands on Somi. They laugh when they share a quick kiss. Somi gets Rose after that, who gets Ryujin, who gets Momo. 

Nayeon tenses when Momo reaches out and spins the bottle. She catches sight of Momo’s eyes drifting towards where Mina is sitting. The same heavy and tight feeling in her chest comes back tenfold. A part of her wants to drag Mina away to avoid the unpleasant situation of seeing them kiss. Another part of her—the more rational side—knows that the chances of the bottle landing on Mina is slim. 

She’s right.

The bottle lands on Jeongyeon instead. 

Nayeon thanks every god and deity out there and pushes Jeongyeon forward too enthusiastically. It’s obvious that Jeongyeon has had a little too much to drink because she falls on her face and groans out loud. Everybody laughs and Momo helps her up to her knees. Momo is crouched down, looking admittedly beautiful. Apparently, Jeongyeon’s drunken state must think so too because she opens and closes her mouth like a fish out of water and stutters a “holy fuck, you’re _ gorgeous _.” 

Sana howls encouragingly. Chaeyoung holds her stomach as she cackles. Momo smirks and shakes her head before she leans down and presses her mouth against Jeongyeon’s. The kiss lasts a little bit longer than the others. Nayeon watches with a huge smile on her face when she sees Jeongyeon reaching up and tangling her fingers in Momo’s dark locks. Then it ends. Momo lets go and Jeongyeon falls flat on her face again. 

“Holy fuck,” Nayeon hears Jeongyeon mumbling under her breath. 

The game gets boring after that. Nayeon grabs a bottle of tequila and pours herself another drink. Mina is glued to her side, smiling when Nayeon accidentally stumbles on her two feet. Somebody turns the music up. Even though everybody’s drunk, they all rise up to dance. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu have disappeared somewhere. Dahyun searches in vain for her best friend before she ends up in a crying mess on the floor, muttering something that suspiciously sounds like “_ DubChaeng is Dub _” over and over again. Sana and Jihyo are dancing together. Somi and Natty are now comforting Dahyun. Jeongyeon is sitting at a table with a shot glass in one hand, still looking dazed after her kiss with Momo. The girl in question is having a dance-off with Elkie. The others have joined them.

“Do you want to dance?” Mina suddenly asks Nayeon. Her hair is tied in a messy bun on top of her head, her eyes are crinkled around the corners and her cheeks are flushed red. Nayeon looks at her and can’t help but gaze at such beauty. 

She laughs a few seconds into the staring. “I think I’m too drunk,” she says, “I might step on your feet.”

Mina grins, silver tooth shining, as she extends her hand. “You don’t have to be good at it.”

Nayeon continues to stare. Her vision is a bit hazy. Then she wraps her fingers around Mina’s. “If I fall,” she says, slightly slurring her words, “would you catch me?”

Mina pauses, apparently caught off guard. Her eyes are wide when she looks at Nayeon, as if searching for some lie within those words. Nayeon doesn’t know what caused her to say it. There are two things she’s absolutely certain of right now—one: she’s borderline drunk and two: she knows Mina will always be there for her. She’s rarely allowed herself to trust anybody after what happened with Jennie but when it comes to Mina—the need to let herself go is _ instinctual _. 

Mina smiles, tugging her close. “Of course,” she says, sighing, “you know you can always count on me.” 

…

(Mina doesn’t want this night to be over.

Not when Nayeon is drunkenly swaying to the beat of the music, not when Nayeon hasn’t let go of Mina’s hand the whole time, not when Nayeon presses a soft but lingering kiss to Mina’s cheek—

But then Nayeon melts into her arms and Mina knows that all good things must come to an end.)

…

Nayeon faintly remembers Mina carrying her back to their room. The lights are on. She has a splitting headache. Her feet hurt. When her back hits the mattress, she groans. She feels Mina taking her shoes off and coaxing her to take a shower. But her body is too heavy, too soaked in alcohol, too exhausted after the night they just had. She closes her eyes and falls asleep to the sound of Mina drawing a bath. 

“Good night, Nayeonnie,” she hears Mina whisper an hour later. The lights are turned off but through Nayeon’s hazy vision, she can see that Mina has taken a shower and is now dressed comfortably. She smells of lemon soap as she gently runs her fingers through Nayeons’ hair, trying to soothe her back to sleep.

When Nayeon hears Mina moving away, her hand moves on its own accord and latches onto the younger girl’s wrist. “Stay,” she mumbles. 

“There’s another bed—” Mina tries to say but Nayeon shakes her head. The movement causes her to groan in agony.

“Please,” she whispers, her voice cracking at the edges, “_ stay _.”

Nayeon’s thoughts are all muddled together. She can’t think straight. She loosens her grip on Mina’s wrist, fully expecting her to leave but then there’s a soft sigh and the other side of the bed dips as a weight settles in next to her. Her heart beats erratically inside her chest. 

For the first time in a long time, Nayeon doesn’t think of Jennie. 

Instead, she thinks of Mina—lying next to her in the dark, breathing slowly, keeping her hands to herself. Perhaps its Nayeon’s drunken state but she grows to realize that she doesn’t want Mina to keep her hands to herself. The night is cold, after all. Nayeon, despite still feeling the heat from the alcohol she drank tonight, is shivering under the blanket. She quickly twists around, wincing when her brain feels like it suddenly got jostled inside her head, and reaches blindly for Mina. 

Mina inhales sharply when Nayeon finds her hands. “What is it?” she asks. 

“Can you—?” Nayeon swallows thickly, her eyes closed. “Can you hold me?”

There’s a brief pause. Then Mina lets out a soft sigh and twists as well. They’re now facing each other in the dark. Nayeon opens her eyes and finds Mina’s face silhouetted by the glow of the moon outside. She’s looking at Nayeon with an unreadable expression, brows furrowed and lips slightly parted. She looks _ ethereal _. Nayeon can’t breathe. 

“Are you always this clingy when you’re drunk?” Mina asks quietly. Nayeon can hear the smile in her voice. 

“Told you I’d be a pain in the ass to deal with,” Nayeon grumbles. Her voice is scratchy. 

“Do you need some water?” 

The thought of Mina leaving her—even if it’s only for a second—makes her heart twist uncomfortably. Nayeon shakes her head, shifting closer. Her hands hesitantly reach out to touch Mina’s waist, wanting to pull her in. The younger girl looks at her before she obliges, reaching out to throw the blanket properly over their sleeping forms. 

“How drunk are you right now?” Mina asks, letting Nayeon’s cold fingers stay on her waist.

Nayeon shrugs. “I’ll get sick if I move too much,” she mumbles. 

“Will you forget this by tomorrow morning?” 

The question makes her frown. She doesn’t want to forget this but there’s a possibility that she might. “Maybe,” she answers truthfully. 

“Okay.” It happens so fast but Mina suddenly reaches out with her left hand, tilts Nayeon’s chin up and kisses her. It lasts for quite a while and Nayeon’s heart feels like it’s gone overdrive. Even though they just kissed for the first time earlier that day, it feels natural. Like they’ve been doing it their entire life. Mina is gentle and soft, careful not to move Nayeon too much. Nayeon can taste the mint toothpaste she used earlier. Their mouths slot together perfectly, teeth grazing each other’s lips. Nayeon finds herself moving forward and her hand comes up to Mina’s neck, pulling her closer. Mina lets out a soft moan when Nayeon swipes her tongue over Mina’s bottom lip, asking for access. Nayeon groans in response when Mina lets her. 

After a few more seconds, they pull back, breathing heavily. Nayeon doesn’t let go of Mina’s neck, keeping their foreheads pressed together. “Do you...” she begins, taking a deep breath, as her eyes lock with Mina’s, “Do you want me to remember that?” 

Mina shrugs, smiling bitterly. “I don’t know,” she answers. 

“We’ll see in the morning,” Nayeon whispers and lets herself be wrapped up in Mina’s embrace. She closes her eyes, listens to Mina’s steady breathing and falls asleep. 

…

(_ I want you to remember _ , Mina thinks, running her fingers through Nayeon’s locks and then tracing her cheek with her palm, _ and I want you to know it was me. _) 

…

Nayeon wakes up at 5 AM and finds Mina still sleeping peacefully in front of her. She says nothing and pulls her closer instead, nuzzling her nose against Mina’s collarbone and breathing her in. _ Don’t think _ , she tells herself, _ don’t think, don’t think. _

_ Just enjoy this _.

A few hours later, the other side of the bed is empty. Nayeon feels cold. When she turns to the bedside table, she finds two ibuprofen pills and a glass of water. Grateful, she immediately drinks it in. The water soothes her sore throat. Her hangover isn’t that intense but her body is sore from yesterday night. Did she dance? She doesn’t know. At least her headache isn’t too bad. Perhaps it’s because she got a good night’s sleep. It doesn’t matter. What matters is Mina. _ Where the hell is she? _

The door swings open and Nayeon raises her head. Mina walks in, holding two cups of coffee in one hand and a paper bag in the other. She smiles at Nayeon, albeit hesitantly. “Hey,” she murmurs, settling down on the other bed, “did you take the meds?” 

Nayeon nods, drinking her in. Something’s tickling at the back of her mind but she can’t remember. “What’s in the bag?” she asks instead.

“Bagels.” Mina hands her the coffee and Nayeon takes it. It’s ironic—how it started with Mina bringing her coffee at work and then Nayeon doing the same thing with the added bagels. Now here is Mina again, smiling brightly at her while extending the paper bag for Nayeon to take a bagel from. It’s a full circle now. She can’t help but smile at this. 

“Thank you,” she whispers, taking a sip and humming of the coffee. It’s the way she likes it. “I feel so sticky.” 

“You didn’t shower last night.” They drink in peace. Then Mina clears her throat. “Anyway, do you remember anything?”

Nayeon frowns, pursing her lips. She racks her brain, retracing her steps. She remembers Jihyo being whipped for Sana, the stripper, Tzuyu kissing Chaeyoung, the games Dahyun prepared, spin-the-bottle, dancing the whole night—it’s just brief flashes. Replaying itself over and over again in her mind’s eye. She remembers kissing Mina on the cheek while she was dancing. And then—

_ Oh _. 

The kiss. Mina’s quiet question. The way she tilted Nayeon’s chin. Her soft, mint-flavored lips. How her eyes looked after they both pulled away. It all comes rushing back in. 

But then—

“Nah,” Nayeon says, the lie thick in her throat, “The last thing I remember is Jeongyeon kissing Momo.”

_ Better this way _ , she thinks, _ better to pretend. _

They _ are _pretending, after all.

Mina’s expression shifts. Nayeon thinks she sees a hint of pain behind her warm eyes. The guilt returns again, like a heavy knot in her chest. Jeongyeon’s words come back to her. _ If you’re just using her _—Nayeon isn’t. She’s not. There are no feelings involved. She’s not using Mina because they’ve already struck a deal. Three days of pretending to be girlfriends, even though they’ve kissed twice without anybody around. Three days of faking their relationship, even though Nayeon feels a tightness in her chest at the sight of Momo and Mina. Three days of knowing that nothing is real and that everything will go back to normal once the wedding is over, even though Nayeon thinks its the last thing she wants right now.

Nayeon’s heart constricts. She understands why but at the same time, she doesn’t acknowledge it. 

Because at the end of the day, they’re only doing this because of Jennie. 

And they haven’t even see Jennie yet. 

The sudden ringing of her cellphone breaks her thoughts. Nayeon fishes it out from under the covers, sees that its Jihyo and answers, "Hey, what's up? I just woke—" 

"Where are you? You’re the only one who’s missing!” 

“Wait—what?” 

Jihyo groans from the other side. “We’re supposed to be practicing for the wedding! You’re one of Chae's bridesmaids, remember? Tzuyu's are already prepared!"

_ Shit _. Nayeon checks the time. It’s nearly 11 AM. The practice was supposed to start an hour ago. Jihyo’s going to kill her. She ends the call and looks back at Mina, who’s watching her carefully. “I have to go,” she says, “We need to practice for the ceremony tomorrow.” 

Mina frowns. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” she asks, “You drank a lot last night.”

“I’m okay.” Nayeon hesitates. “What about you? Do you have anything planned?” 

“I think I’ll catch up with Momo and Sana,” Mina answers, running her thumb around the rim of her cup, “Is that okay?” 

Nayeon nods, suddenly feeling as if she’s stepped out of line with the way she’s been acting around Momo and Mina. She bites into her bagel and chews it slowly. She tries to come up with something to say but nothing comes to mind. There’s an uncomfortable silence between them. 

“Nayeon,” Mina says, looking at her, “we’re still going to be friends after this, right?”

The question is tinged with hesitance and worry. It’s Nayeon’s turn to frown. “Of course,” she answers, standing up and taking a seat next to Mina on the other bed. She reaches out and holds her hand, despite the awkward atmosphere earlier. “What makes you think we won’t be?”

Mina shrugs. “No reason,” she mutters. It’s obvious that she’s hiding something.

Nayeon doesn’t want to push it, especially after what happened last night. It’d be too confusing to deal with Mina’s worries when she doesn’t even know how she feels about the whole thing. They haven't even seen Jennie yet so Nayeon's determined to keep things running smoothly. Once the wedding ends then she can deal with Mina's problem. Even though she knows that Mina’s worries run deeper than she lets on, Nayeon doesn’t ask. 

“Besides,” she begins lightly, bumping their shoulders together, “you already know everything there is to know about _ South Korea's Hot Girl Im Nayeon _. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” 

(_ Never wanted to _, Mina thinks.) 

Mina smiles at her. “Okay.”

“I’ll see you later?” Nayeon moves to stand up, still looking at the younger girl. “We can have dinner together, if you want.” 

“I’d like that.” Mina nods at her then smirks. “You should go shower now—you stink.” 

Nayeon throws a pillow at her face, offended. Mina laughs, her silver tooth shining under the glinting light and her eyes crinkling around the corners. And even though Nayeon probably looks like shit right now since she woke up after a night of drinking, she doesn’t mind. Not when she can witness Mina like this, carefree and gorgeous. And for her eyes only. 

…

(When Mina sees her friends waiting for her at the dining hall, a part of her remembers what it was like to love Momo from afar and how Sana had constantly teased her about her feelings.

She looks at Momo smiling at her the same way she used to back when they were in high school. 

What she felt for Momo back then doesn't compare to how she feels about Nayeon now. 

Sana touches her wrist, smiling gently. "You really love your girlfriend, don't you?" she asks, eyes crinkled around the corners, "You look sad when you're not together." 

Mina wants to cry. She nods, feeling tears rise up in her throat. Of course she loves Nayeon. It's hard not to. Ever since she met her more than a year ago, when they shared that one elevator ride, Nayeon had stolen her heart and refused to give it back. 

Momo nods understandingly. "I'm happy for you," she says, still with the same smile Mina fell in love with a long time ago. There's an echo of butterflies in her stomach but that's all there is to it. An acknowledgement but no feelings attached.

"Thank you," she murmurs, eyes closed, as she remembers the kiss Nayeon forgot.) 

…

“I did something stupid,” Jeongyeon tells Nayeon after practices are over. 

“Not surprised,” Nayeon says, collecting her belongings from the table where they put their stuff on, "You always do something stupid." 

Dahyun and Jihyo come back from their small meeting with Elkie. The three of them look at each other carefully, which Nayeon is completely oblivious of. She's too busy checking her phone for a message from Mina. To her disappointment, there isn't any.

**Nabongs 🐰 (3:42 PM)**

hey where r u? 

**Baby 💚 (3:44 PM)**

At Sana and Momo's room.

**Baby 💚 (3:45 PM)**

Apparently, something juicy happened last night 👀

**Nabongs 🐰 (3:45 PM)**

👀👀👀 tell me all bout it later

**Baby 💚 (3:46 PM)**

Maybe you should ask Jeongyeon and Jihyo. It concerns them 😉

Nayeon turns to her three friends, raising a dubious eyebrow. "Does this something stupid involve Sana-yah and Momo-yah?" she asks.

Dahyun groans, covering her face with her hands. Jeongyeon winces, a deer-in-the-headlights look. Out of the three of them, Jihyo looks the calmest, even though Nayeon can see the panic in her eyes as well. 

"Maybe?" Jeongyeon says, shrugging, "It's totally not a big deal, though." 

"Not a big deal?" Dahyun cries, aghast, "You kicked me out of my room last night!"

"What for?" Nayeon asks, not following. 

The three of them exchange glances. 

"Momo and I…" Jeongyeon begins as she wrings her hands, obviously trying to explain something that cannot be explained easily. Nayeon waits, one eyebrow raised. Dahyun still looks traumatized while Jihyo nibbles on her lower lip. 

"What did you and Momo do?" Nayeon presses, putting her phone down on the table. She tries to remember what happened last night. Even though she hasn't really forgotten anything, the memories are still a blur, accentuated by the bright lights and heavy drinking. Her arms and legs ache from all the dancing she did. 

Then she thinks of Mina kissing her in the middle of the night—without an audience and without any reason to. Her heart aches. She presses her lips together, remembering the minty taste of Mina's tongue, and tells herself to _ stop _ thinking. Otherwise, she'd go mad with the _ need _to find her, press her against the wall and finish what they started.

Nayeon shakes her head. Nothing good can come out of this. 

"Don't get mad," Jeong says, raising her arms in surrender, "but I was _ really _drunk—" 

"Oh my God!" Jihyo throws her hands up in the air, frustrated. "They slept together last night!" 

"WHAT!" Nayeon shouts, eyes bulging out of her head.

Jeonyeon panics and points at Jihyo. "She did too!"

"You slept with Momo too?"

Jihyo scowls, shaking her head furiously. "No, you dumbass!" she grumbles, "Not with Momo—"

"Holy shit," Nayeon says, "With _ Sana _?"

Jihyo doesn’t respond. 

Dahyun collapses in a fit of giggles as Nayeon stares at them, mouth hanging wide open. Her friends aren't the type of people to get drunk and sleep with people. They're a lot more responsible than that. So it's definitely a shocker that they could even engage in such activities. They must know this too because they pointedly ignore Nayeon's bewildered gaze. 

"Jesus," she says, shaking her head, "What happened while I was gone last night?" 

"While you were being graciously handled by Mina-unnie," Dahyun explains, grinning like an idiot, "Jeongyeon drank more and finally got the courage to walk up to Momo to ask for a dance. One thing led to another and then _ BOOM _—pregnant!"

Jeongyeon slaps Dahyun. "Pregnant, seriously?"

"I was already in my room by that time," the younger girl continues, rubbing at the place where Jeongyeon slapped her, "so imagine my surprise when they stumbled in while making out. They were _ seriously _ drunk. Then Jeong had the _ audacity _to ask me to leave the room, which I'm never going back to, by the way, thanks to you sinners." 

Nayeon kind of feels bad for Dahyun. She's been thrown around like some sort of puppet in the middle of chaotic couples. She takes a note to hook her up with somebody soon. 

"Where did you go after?" Nayeon asks.

"I had to sleep at Chaeng's place," Dahyun says, smiling brightly, "I thought she and Tzuyu would be, you know, doing the dirty before their wedding night but they were just playing video games."

"_ Right _," Jihyo grumbles under her breath. 

"That's good," Nayeon comments, sharing in Dahyun's smile. Out of their small group of friends, it's obvious that Dahyun's taking it the hardest when it comes to Chaeyoung getting married so soon. They've always done everything together. From the second they were born and up to this very moment. To make it short, they were soulmates and they knew it. Watching your best friend get married to somebody else must be a bittersweet feeling. 

Dahyun's smile widens. "Thanks, unnie." 

"Anyway." Now Nayeon turns to Jihyo, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms. "Make your case." 

"I was also very drunk," Jihyo says, mimicking her posture. 

"_ Bullshit _ ," Nayeon bluntly says, "You _ never _get drunk. Your tolerance is so high you'd probably die of alcohol poisoning first.” 

“I’d like to see that happen,” Jeongyeon mutters. 

“Don’t lie to me, Park,” Nayeon says, now putting her hands on her hips, “From what I remember last night—and I remember _ most _of it—you were watching Sana all night long. And based on Sana’s intoxicated state last night, you took her back to your room, didn’t you?”

Silence is all that she receives. 

Jeongyeon and Dahyun are aghast. “You didn’t take advantage, right?” the latter questions incredulously. 

Jihyo scoffs, looking miffed. “Do you really think that lowly of me?” she grumbles. “We didn’t have sex, okay? Well, she wanted to. But I stopped her.” 

“Chivalrous,” Jeongyeon remarks. 

“As expected of our perfect Miss Park Jihyo,” Nayeon notes, smiling proudly. 

Jihyo glares at her before her expression morphs into a longing one. She sighs, rubbing the back of her neck. A tense silence falls over them as she thinks about what to say next. “I’m not chivalrous,” she finally says, her eyes darting around nervously; it’s clear that what she’s going to say next holds weight; “A part of me wanted to give in but then a bigger part of me wanted it to be real. When it comes to Sana—there’s just something about her, you know? We all know that I’ve always been stuck up but with her, I just want to—I want to _ let go _. For once in my life.” 

Nayeon share knowing looks with Jeongyeon and Dahyun. Finally—Jihyo has given in. 

“You’ve only known her for a week,” Dahyun points out. 

“I know,” Jihyo agrees, sighing again, “but I’ve gotten to know her in that week and well—she’s _ amazing _. She can make me laugh, she’s clumsy and dumb sometimes but she can hold a conversation about politics and philosophy and she doesn’t bore me to death when she talks about the things she likes. We all know that I have a tendency to get bored with new people easily.” 

They all hum in agreement, remembering all the times Jihyo would pretend to be listening in conversations even though she clearly wasn’t.

“You must really like her, huh?” Jeongyeon asks quietly. No teasing, no jokes. They always know how to handle the important things.

Jihyo smiles, relieved. “Yes,” she answers, nodding firmly, “I really do.” 

“Good.” Nayeon shoots a playful grin at Jeongyeon. “Because having sex first isn’t always a good way to start a relationship.” 

“Fuck you, Nabongs.” 

All four of them laugh. Nayeon watches with fondness and amusement as Jihyo wraps an arm around Dahyun to pull her close. The younger girl whines before hugging her back. Jeongyeon mimics hitting Nayeon over the head before she decides against it and slaps her shoulder lightly instead. Nayeon can’t help but grin. 

What a bunch of crackheads.

She wouldn’t trade them for anything else in the world.

…

("So you slept with Jeongyeon-ssi," Mina says as she points at Momo before redirecting her attention at Sana, "and you _ nearly _slept with Jihyo-ssi." 

"Yup," the two of them say at the same time. 

"Oh." Mina can't wrap her mind around it. "Do you like her?" The next question is meant for them both. 

Momo thinks about it. "Hmm," she says, shrugging, "I haven't gotten to know Jeongyeon-ssi that well but the sex was good." 

Sana snickers from her place by her bed. “Can’t relate.” She gives Mina a fond look. “But yes, Mitang, I do like Jihyo.”

"Just like that?" 

"Just like that." Sana tilts her head at the perplexed expression on Mina's face, slightly confused. "It shouldn’t be complicated, right? If you like someone, you tell them. Just like you and Nayeon-ssi.”

Mina wishes it was _ that _easy.) 

…

**Nabongs ** **🐰** ** (5:46 PM)**

where r u? 

**Baby ** **💚** ** (5:47 PM)**

In our room. Are we having dinner now?

**Nabongs ** **🐰 ** **(5:47 PM)**

its a surprise. Meet me by the car in five

**Baby ** **💚 ** **(5:52 PM)**

I’m here.

**Nayeon 🐰 (5:52 pm)**

coming 😊

…

(When Mina sees Nayeon approaching, she thinks they’re going to kiss. Especially with the way the older girl’s eyes drop down to her mouth. What happens instead is a quick peck on the cheek and Mina tries her best not to feel disappointed by this.

She fails.)

…

"Where are we going?" 

Nayeon playfully rolls her eyes since this is the fifth time Mina has asked already. "You'll see," she says, cheeky smile in place, “There’s this place that I used to go to every week. It has the best noodles. Not even Jeong and the others know about it. Consider it my special place.” 

Mina stares at her. “And you’re sharing it with me?”

“Well.” Nayeon’s throat goes dry. “Think of it as a ‘thank you’ for taking care of me last night.”

“Okay.” Mina’s voice is soft. 

_ Last night _. Nayeon’s fingers tighten on the steering wheel. She thinks about the kiss again. It has never once left her mind the entire day. There’s just something about the way Mina looked at her after they pulled away that leaves her breathless. Like she just ran an entire marathon but instead of feeling tired, she’s energized. Her entire face feels warm and there’s a tightness in her chest that she refuses to acknowledge. 

_ Jesus _ , she thinks to herself, closing her eyes briefly, _ I need to get laid _. 

When did things get so complicated? 

“We’re here,” she says, pretending not to hear the slight tremble in her voice. They’re sitting by the docks, the sounds of the ocean lapping gently by the shore. Nayeon sees the familiar noodle shack in its usual place, highlighted by the glow of the lanterns hanging by the edges of the roof. There’s the usual string of people sitting on the tables all around, enjoying a nice, relaxing evening. The hum of the conversations paired with sea is therapeutic and Nayeon exhales a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding in. 

“The noodles here are good,” she tells Mina, glancing at her. It’s dark but she can see the glow of the younger girl’s eyes watching her, “One of the best shit I’ve ever tasted.”

Mina giggles. “Then let’s get this shit.”

They get out of the car and head over to the small shack. The smell of vegetables frying and sizzling pork fills the air. Almost at once, a wave of nostalgia washes over Nayeon’s entire body. It’s been a long time since she’s been back home. Now she wants to cherish every moment she’s here. 

“Can I ask you something?” Mina says after Nayeon orders the bestselling ones—spicy beef and sesame noodle soup with some iced lemonade in the side.

“Shoot.” 

Mina looks around the place, eyes glimmering under the glow of the lanterns. Nayeon can’t help but stare. “It’s a sensitive question,” the younger girl says, biting her lower lip, “I hope you don’t mind.”

Nayeon leans forward, resting her chin on her knuckles. “Just ask me,” she encourages. 

“If given the chance to know how it ends between you and Jennie,” Mina begins carefully as she keeps her eyes trained on the tabletop, “would you still be with her?”

Nayeon isn’t surprised by the question. Mina is the type of person who has a lot on her mind. Still, she tries to wrap her mind around it. _ If given the chance, would she _? She knows the most logical answer would be no. Because how can you stand to get hurt by the person you gave your everything to? Jennie is her first in everything—first kiss, first girlfriend, first person she slept with. Nothing can ever replace that. But if Nayeon knew that she’d get hurt in the end, she doesn’t think she can bear to go through it again.

_ But _ , a voice whispers in her brain _ , if you hadn’t met Jennie, you wouldn’t have gotten to know Mina _. 

“Yes,” she says without thinking, surprised by the conviction in her own voice, “I would.” 

Mina raises her eyebrows. “You’d let yourself get hurt in the end?” 

Nayeon nods firmly. “Call me a masochist, but yes.”

“Why, though?”

She doesn’t really have a good answer for that. _ Because I wouldn’t have met you _, is what pops up in her brain. She doesn’t say this out loud. Everything’s already so complicated.

“There are just some things that I’d give anything to feel twice,” she whispers, smiling softly, “even if it does hurt. We had a lot of good memories—Jennie and I.” 

Mina purses her lips. “I guess I understand that.” She pauses, as if deciding what to say next. “Are you ready to see her again?”

Nayeon exhales a deep breath. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Okay.” Mina looks at her, eyes soft and shining. “I’ll be here for you.”

“I know you will.”

Silence. 

“What about you?” 

“What about me?” 

Nayeon doesn’t really want to think about Mina’s possible answer but she is also curious. “If you could go back and do it all again with Momo-yah but this time, you actually _ do _something about it, would you?” 

(_ No _, Mina thinks immediately.)

“No,” Mina answers, shrugging. She doesn’t look at Nayeon in the eye.

The older girl frowns. “Why not?”

“Because some things are better left in the past.” 

Nayeon can’t help but feel like the words are directed at her. 

Their food comes and Nayeon watches with amusement when Mina’s eyes fill with tears due to the spiciness of the beef. She tells her to try the sesame noodles since it balances out the flavor. The complete utter wonder and shock in Mina’s face at having tasted something so downright _ heavenly _ in her heart is something Nayeon files away in her brain for later on. The little noises Mina makes at each spoonful, the way her hands shake in excitement, the gummy smile on her face—it’s all too adorable and Nayeon’s heart is full. 

It feels nice—sharing this place with Mina. Her dad used to take her here all the time back when she was a kid, told her that his friend owns the place. After dinner, they always took a walk down the beach, enjoying the water in between their toes. It’s one of the rare occurrences where Nayeon allows herself not to think. 

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Nayeon asks after they’ve finished eating. 

Mina eyes her. “This is starting to feel like a date, Nayeonnie,” she says jokingly. 

Nayeon smirks deviously. “What, friends can’t have dates too?” Without waiting for Mina’s response, she reaches out, takes her hand and leads her down the beach. It’s dark out but they can see a few people also walking around. Most of them are couples. Nayeon ignores this fact. 

The sea fills her senses. She takes a deep breath. Even though she can’t swim, she always likes to watch the ocean. It gives her fond memories of family trips and dinner dates with her father. Like being at home. With Mina, it feels exactly like that as well. She takes off her slippers, gestures for Mina to do the same and walks closer to the waves. When the freezing water gets in contact with her toes, she inhales sharply and squeezes Mina’s hand. 

Mina squeezes back. 

There’s an unspoken tension between them. Nayeon knows that Mina is thinking about the kiss, just as she’s thinking about it too. They agreed to pretend for Nayeon’s sake. But what happens when they kiss without anybody knowing? Without an audience to fool? The lines are blurring. Feelings are getting confusing. Nayeon doesn’t want to admit it but maybe her plan has backfired.

Maybe something has shifted.

Maybe Nayeon knows what it is.

She closes her eyes and thinks of Mina kissing her. 

“You know,” she says out loud, smiling gently, “they say that the person you think of when you’re standing in front of the ocean, that’s the person you’re in love with.” 

Nayeon is too busy staring at the horizon to know that Mina’s gaze is fixed on her. 

“I heard,” Mina murmurs.

“Is there somebody you have in mind?” Nayeon cheekily asks, even though the question makes her heart race. She wonders if Mina is thinking of Momo, wonders if there’s anything left worth returning to, wonders if the jealousy in her chest can still be justified. 

She wonders what it means when her first thought isn’t of Jennie. 

(_ You _ , Mina says in her head, _ it’s always been you _.) 

“Not really,” Mina answers.

“Lucky.” Nayeon tugs her close and pulls out her phone from her back pocket. “Come on, let’s take a picture.” 

They take many selfies that night, walk around more and then retreat back to the car. It’s quiet. The tension is still there but less palpable. They’re both full from the dinner they had and content with the nightly walk. By the time they return to the mansion, everybody else has retreated to their spaces. Nayeon intertwines their fingers together and leads them back to their room. After that walk on the beach, her mind is empty for once. She’s no longer thinking—just _ doing _. 

They both take turns showering, exchanging small talk in between. Nayeon lets her eyes wander when Mina emerges with her hair wet and her shorts barely skimming her thighs. They discuss the wedding. Jennie isn’t mentioned. They play with their phones for half an hour before they start getting sleepy. Once again, Nayeon doesn’t think. She does. When Mina slides in under her covers, Nayeon stands up and turn the lights off. But she doesn’t return to her bed. Instead, she slips in next to Mina. 

“Hmm?” Mina hums but she doesn’t seem so surprised.

“It’d be weird if people walk in and see that we’re not sharing a bed,” Nayeon tries to deflect. 

(Mina doesn’t remind her that the door is locked.)

Nayeon isn’t thinking. But when Mina flips over to face her and their eyes meet across the small distance between them, she can’t help but _ think _now. She thinks of Mina always looking out of her, being there for her when she needs her the most, earning her the title of Nayeon’s guardian angel. She thinks of Mina diligently studying that stupid handbook Nayeon made on a whim, of Mina laughing everytime Nayeon gets her coffee wrong, of Mina listening when Nayeon cried about Jennie. She thinks of Mina’s gentle eyes, the shape of her nose, the curve of her lips, the moles across her skin, the warm press of her mouth against hers. 

"Good night, Nayeonnie," the younger girl whispers, slowly falling asleep. 

Nayeon doesn't say it back, her eyes tracing the shape of Mina's face before returning to her plump lips. 

She thinks of Mina kissing her and wants it more than anything else in the world.

The ache in her chest is a familiar, agonizing feeling. 

The last time she felt it was when she read Jennie’s final message to her: _ I’ve met someone else _. Love has always been a gamble for Nayeon. When she tried to prove her worth to Jennie, it had been almost like a game of cat and mouse. Wherever Jennie went, Nayeon followed. Whatever Jennie wanted, Nayeon complied. For her, love is giving up everything for that person. She gave up everything for Kim Jennie—her body, her soul, her heart. It hadn’t been enough. She's been bled dry: a bag of bones left discarded at the corner of the street. She now has nothing left to give, even if she wanted to.

And God knows she wants to. 

The realization doesn’t hit her like a slap across the face, the way it had when she met Jennie for the first time. Instead, it’s like taking a dip in the ocean. You feel the water in your toes first. Then it rises up to your knees, thighs, waist until it reaches the top of your head. Then you’re completely submerged underwater, sunlight flitting across the water in golden rays and lighting up the unknown world beneath the surface. The ocean is all you know and all you will ever know from here on out. 

It’s like this for Nayeon now, as she stares longingly at Mina’s sleeping face. As the waves of realization gently lap at the shores of her mind. As she opens her eyes and sees the tightness in her chest and the warmth in her heart for what it really is. 

_ Love. _

Ever since they met, Nayeon’s been slowly dipping into an ocean of _ Mina, Mina, Mina _. It was a slow progress but a certain one. Because even though Nayeon’s been damaged completely beyond repair by her past relationship, Mina has been there. Unknowingly, Mina became Nayeon’s beacon of hope across the dark sea, the green light at the edge of the shore, the one person she looked forward to each morning when she bought coffee and bagels. Nayeon is a hopeless wanderer in the middle of the desert and Mina is the only drop of water pushing her on. Staring at her now, with the moonlight resting on her elegant features, Nayeon realizes that maybe she’s been in love with Mina for a while now. She's been denying it for so long that once she finally accepts this truth, it feels like God has breathed new air into her lungs. 

Mina is the ocean and Nayeon can’t swim.

She’s in love with her.

It’s the worst thing in the world. 

…

(When Mina wakes up the next day, Nayeon is gone. 

She has a bad feeling about this.)

…


	4. cornelia street [M]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Where Mina and Nayeon come face to face with a ghost from the past, which complicates things.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wedding is here! Expect a lot of DubChaeng and Chaeyu in this chapter. Also, try to guess who'll cry first during the exchanging of vows! This is one hell of a chapter because A LOT OF THINGS HAPPEN. So prepare your heart, because it might break later on.

_And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends_   
_I'd never walk Cornelia Street again_   
_That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend_   
_I'd never walk Cornelia Street again_

_And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name_   
_And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away_   
_I'd never walk Cornelia Street again_

-Taylor Swift, Cornelia Street

…

Nayeon raps her knuckles rapidly on the door, her heart racing painfully inside her chest. It’s the day of the wedding and everybody’s getting ready. She just left Mina in their room without waking her up. She doesn’t think she can bear to see her right now, especially after the realization that she’s in love with her. There’s a mess of emotions and words in her chest that she needs to let out. Otherwise, she’s going to choke with the enormity of how she feels about Myoui Mina. She can’t have that, especially not now, when Jennie and Jisoo are supposed to be arriving any second—

The door swings open. Jeongyeon raises an eyebrow at her. “What are you—?”

“Where’s Dahyun?” Nayeon demands. 

Dahyun pokes her head out from behind Jeongyeon. “Wassup?” 

Without another word, Nayeon grabs Dahyun’s hand and pulls her out of the room. She ignores Jeongyeon’s questions as she leads the younger girl to the balcony overlooking the ocean. She slides the door shut behind them and faces Dahyun who is looking at her strangely. 

“Unnie, what’s going on? You look like you just saw a ghost—” 

“I’m in love with Mina,” Nayeon says, the words leaving her lips in a rush. She feels panicked, fidgety. It’s not something she wants to experience on one of the worst days of her life—sorry, Chaeyoung. 

Dahyun tilts her head to the side. “I would hope so?” she says, confused, “You guys are dating, after all.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Nayeon closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Mina and I aren’t dating. We’re just pretending.” At Dahyun’s shocked expression, she explains everything. It takes a while, especially with how Nayeon keeps adding details that don’t really matter to the whole picture but Dahyun listens patiently, her expression morphing from confusion to understanding. Nayeon tells her everything—from striking the deal and making that stupid handbook down to the kisses they’ve shared in between and Nayeon’s realization last night. 

After Nayeon’s bared her soul out, Dahyun stares at her. 

“Is that such a bad thing?” the younger girl asks, frowning. "Being in love with her?" 

“Of course it is!” Nayeon insists, “I _ can’t _be in love with her. Not now.” 

“But why?” 

Nayeon opens her mouth to answer but no coherent words come out. Then she tries to make up for it hastily so that Dahyun can figure out the real reason why she’s freaking out. Cause she doesn't want to be the one to say it out loud. “Be—because of Jen—Jennie,” she says pathetically, “Jennie and Jisoo will be around later and I just—”

“I can see a win-win situation here,” Dahyun goes on, “You get to prove to Jennie that she didn’t hurt you and you don’t have to pretend that you don’t have feelings for Mina because you obviously do. So tell me, Nayeonnie, what’s so wrong about you being in love with your pretend girlfriend?” 

“Because—” Nayeon lets out a frustrated sigh “—it complicates things.”

“In what way?”

“It just does, okay!” 

Dahyun flinches, taking a step back. At once, Nayeon immediately feels bad. She rushes forward, wringing her hands, even though it feels like there are thorns prickling the inside of her heart. “I’m sorry,” she begins, “It’s just—you _ don’t _understand. This is a bad thing. Me being in love with Mina? It would ruin everything between us.” 

“I can see the way she looks at you,” Dahyun tells her patiently, her eyes soft, “She cares a lot about you, unnie. Don’t you want that?” 

_ No _. Nayeon doesn’t need that reminder. “I don’t want—” 

“You can have the chance to be _ more _,” the silver-haired girl insists, “Everything you have right now—you can be more than that. Isn’t that a good thing?”

Tears prickle the back of Nayeon’s eyes as she feels a panic attack coming in. “Wait, Dahyun—”

“Unless…” Dahyun rubs her chin thoughtfully. “You’re not really afraid of being in love with her, are you?” 

_ Jackpot _. Nayeon braces herself, holding her breath. Mina is her beacon of hope. Her green light. But they can't be together. Not when Nayeon has nothing left to offer, not when her heart is so foolishly still broken and in pieces. She rolls her hands into fists and stares at Dahyun, needing another sensible person to understand why being in love with Myoui Mina is the worst thing in the world—

Dahyun doesn't disappoint.

“You’re afraid of her being in love with you too," she says, voice quiet. 

Nayeon closes her eyes as she hears the truth said out loud. This is why she reached out to Dahyun, not Jeongyeon and Jihyo. Because Dahyun is not afraid of saying things out loud, no matter how much it hurts. It’s a necessary rip-off-the-bandaid type of feeling. And Nayeon _ needs _ to hear things said out loud. It’ll make it more real and sets the truth into stone. Yes. _ Exactly _. She’s not afraid of being in love with Mina. It’s almost as easy as breathing. With her, Nayeon feels like she’s being healed, inside out. Like there's new air in her lungs. But no—what she is afraid of most is Mina actually returning her those said feelings. 

Dahyun’s eyes are full of worry. “Unnie,” she says, reaching out and palming Nayeon’s cheeks, “why are you so afraid that she could love you back?”

The fight leaves Nayeon’s body in waves. “Because I don’t deserve her,” she whispers, the tears spilling from her eyes, “She’s—she’s _ amazing _, Dahyun. She listens to everything I say, she knows when I’m holding back and she puts up with my stupid ideas and doesn’t hold it against me.” 

Dahyun doesn’t say anything, nodding at her to continue. Nayeon tries to put her feelings into words, even though it feels a lot like disentangling her earphones after putting it into her pocket. Frustrating. A waste of time. She wipes at her eyes and swallows the lump in her throat. “She’s always been there for me,” she continues, lower lip wobbling, “She’s so sweet. She made me breakfast when I slept over at her place, she paid for my gas bill when I kept dropping her off at her place, she agreed to meet Jeongyeon even though she was nervous. Dahyun, she’s—she’s—she’s just _ perfect _.” 

This is the truth and it _ hurts. _

“Then why don’t you go for it?” Dahyun asks quietly. 

“Because I’m not,” Nayeon answers, her voice cracking at the edges, “I’m not perfect.” 

"Eh?" 

"Mina's so perfect that she deserves somebody who's perfect for her too," Nayeon persists, "and that's not me." 

"Nayeon—"

"Dahyun-ah." Nayeon grips the younger girl's shoulders tightly, suddenly desperate. "_ Think _ about it. There's something wrong with me. The last time I was in a relationship, I gave up _ everything _for Jennie and I still got dumped. I'm not perfect, I'm a mess, I'm never going to be enough for someone, much less Mina—" 

Now it's Dahyun's turn to shake her, expression twisted in a frown. "What the hell are you talking about? What happened between you and Jennie wasn't your fault, okay? Don't blame yourself just because Jennie didn't love—" 

"But_ I _ did," Nayeon interrupts gently, shaking her head as she pulls away from Dahyun's hold, "I loved her—some part of me _ still _loves her. Wasn't that enough?" 

"Nayeon, of course it was—" 

"Even if Mina does love me back, and that's a big _ if _, I still can't—what if she hurts me too?" Nayeon stubbornly wipes away her tears. "What if she realizes that I'm not good enough? What if she finds another Jisoo? I—I—I don't think I can handle that, Dahyun." 

Dahyun grows quiet, looking sorrowful. Then she takes a step closer and engulfs Nayeon in a hug. At first, the older girl resists but Dahyun tightens her grip and mutters, "Unnie, _ please _, for once in your life, just let me take care of you." 

Nayeon sags against Dahyun, letting herself be embraced. The rush of memories she's been holding back returns with a vengeance. If her realization with Mina was a calm day at the beach, her memories of Jennie remind her of being in the eye of the storm. She thinks of the past four years and the pain of knowing that it wasn't enough. Jennie was her everything. Nayeon _ worshipped _her. What happens if she does it again? What happens if she lets herself love Mina, only to be crushed later on? What happens if Mina realizes that she's not good enough too? 

"Jennie hurt you badly when she left," Dahyun tells her suddenly, "but that doesn't mean you're unlovable, Nayeon. It just means that you're meant for someone else. Maybe you'll get it right with Mina." 

"And wh—what if I don't?" 

Dahyun is quiet for several long seconds. "Then you don't," she says simply. "Love isn't an equation we can solve. It either works or it doesn't." 

Nayeon doesn't respond. She knows Dahyun is right, anyway. 

"But," Dahyun adds, leaning back to look into her eyes, "that only means we have to try harder. Ask yourself—is Mina worth possibly getting your heart broken all over again?" 

Nayeon doesn't answer. 

…

("Ah, Mina-ssi! There you are!" 

Mina turns around, fidgeting in her tight-fitting light pink dress. She's standing alone in the garden outside, where all the guests are looking for their seats and chatting amiably with each other. It's three o'clock in the afternoon. She hasn't seen Nayeon since last night. Her nerves are getting the best of her.

Jihyo emerges from the crowd, waving happily at her. She’s wearing what Mina assumes is the standard bridesmaid outfit for this wedding—a white one-shoulder dress that flares out below the knees and reaches the ground. It’s simple and elegant at the same time, designed to make the wearer look beautiful but not take the attention away from the bride. 

“Hi, Jihyo-ssi,” Mina greets, smiling. 

“I’ll make this really quick,” Jihyo tells her, clasping Mina’s hands in her own. It surprises Mina. They’ve only known each other for a few days, after all. 

“What is it?” 

“If you hurt Nayeon in any way,” Jihyo begins, her voice leaving no room for argument. Mina imagines this is the same voice she uses in the courtroom, when she’s grilling witnesses on the stand. “I will make sure that your name will be so tarnished that not even fast food restaurants will hire you, understood?” 

There’s a pause. Mina finds herself cracking a smile, even though she knows there is weight behind the threat. “I understand,” she agrees, knowing that she’ll never be able to hurt Nayeon the same way the other girl already has.

Jihyo’s eyes sparkle as she shares in the smile. “But I doubt that you will,” she cheekily adds, like she just didn’t threaten to ruin Mina’s entire career, “Nayeon looks happy with you.” 

Before Mina can respond, Jihyo looks over her shoulder and balks. 

“Oh shit.” 

“What is it?” Mina glances at where she's looking and sees two girls entering the vicinity. Their hands are clasped together. One has long hair swept over one shoulder while the other's sharp eyes flicker around in scrutiny. 

Jihyo's grip on her hands tighten. 

"It's Jennie and Jisoo.")

…

To say that Nayeon is a mess is an understatement. It's an hour before the ceremony. Everybody's buzzing around in excitement. They're standing in a separate tent meant for all the bridesmaids. Chaeyoung’s already out there, practicing her vows. Jeongyeon and Jihyo are in one corner, whispering amongst themselves. Nayeon catches the name of her ex-girlfriend being thrown around. Dahyun is giving her worried glances every few seconds. She also hasn't seen Mina the whole morning. Then for some fucking reason, she can't seem to fix the flower crown on top of her hair—

"Here." Somebody steps up and adjusts the crown for her so that it's not slipping from behind. 

"Thanks." When Nayeon twists around, she comes face-to-face with Momo. Her mood plummets.

"Hi," the other girl greets, smiling at her, "We haven't had time to talk." 

An uneasy feeling takes hold of Nayeon's heart. It seems stronger now, especially at the peak of her realization last night. She rolls her shoulders back and gives Momo a cool stare. "Afraid so," she says, a silent challenge in her tone.

"I'm really surprised Mina has a girlfriend," Momo shares, humming thoughtfully. "She was really shy and timid back in high school." 

Nayeon's skin prickles—the urge to snap is at the tip of her tongue but she manages to hold herself back. "She's not the same girl you knew," she says. 

"I know." Momo sighs, her smile softening. "But some things never change." 

"What do you mean?" Nayeon raises an eyebrow. 

Momo shrugs, gesturing for Nayeon to follow towards the opening of the tent. She pulls back the flap and points at Mina sitting at the very back row of chairs, eyes fixed on the aisle where Chaeyoung and her parents are discussing something with the officiant. Everything has been done so beautifully—there are rows of flowers leading up to the altar, all arranged to add bursts of colors in the white theme. However, Nayeon’s stare immediately locks in on Mina sitting by herself, a solemn expression on her face. She looks… _ sad _. 

“Mitang and I were very close back in high school,” Momo says, “I know when she’s happy, when she’s mad, or when she’s missing someone.” 

Nayeon doesn’t say anything. Her heart is racing at the sight of Mina looking gorgeous in her light pink dress. Nayeon stares at her long cascading hair, her bare shoulders, her toned arms. Everything about Mina has always been attractive but now she's completely and utterly irresistible. Her mouth feels dry suddenly.

Momo smirks at her. "Talk to her," she says, "She's been moping around the whole morning." 

Nayeon wants to, of course. There’s nothing she wants more than to sit next to Mina on any other day and just tell her what’s on her mind. Being with her is as easy as breathing. Not being with her is as painful as not breathing. It’s so _ easy _ and yet, Nayeon holds herself back. Because as much as she wants to, she knows that she doesn’t deserve it. 

“I appreciate the concern,” Nayeon grumbles, “but Mina and I are fine.”

“Are you sure?” Momo lets go of the tent flap and takes a step back, eyeing her carefully. “Because if you hurt Mitang, I’ll make you regret it.” 

“Trust me, hurting Mina is the last thing I’d want to do.”

“Good.” When Momo smiles again, Nayeon can’t help but feel like she’s waving a white flag. “She likes you a lot, you know. I can tell. It’s in her eyes. When she smiles and they disappear into cute little crinkles? Yeah, that one. The last time she looked at somebody like that was—”

“With you,” Nayeon finishes stiffly.

Momo sighs, doesn’t agree nor disagree. Instead, she just reaches out to open the tent flap again, tilting her head to the side as a sign to just _ go for it _. Nayeon holds her unwavering stare for a few short seconds before she gathers her dress in her arms and steps outside into the garden. Despite Chaeyoung and Tzuyu insisting that it was a small ceremony, Nayeon can see that there are more than eighty people walking around with more on the way. She navigates her way through the crowd, trying to get to Mina, only to be stopped halfway through by a tap on the shoulder. She turns around, fully intent on excusing herself from the conversation, when all the words die in her throat. 

Jennie is standing in front of her. 

“Hi,” Jennie says, smiling.

Nayeon’s entire world shatters. It’s been so long since they were in the same space. The last time she saw Jennie was when her ex-girlfriend came by their apartment to get her things. It had only been a fleeting moment, especially since it was Jeongyeon who gave her the boxes. But it had been enough to completely ruin Nayeon. Then she spent an entire year moping about it. Seeing Jennie now, especially after months of trying to push her away from her thoughts, is a feeling Nayeon doesn’t want to repeat anytime soon. It feels like somebody’s reached into her chest and crushed her heart with one hand. 

“Jennie,” she says, clearing her throat. She feels sick. 

“It’s been a long time,” Jennie says.

“I agree.” 

Awkward silence. Nayeon takes deep breaths, her heart rattling inside her ribcage. Jennie still looks absolutely beautiful—long dark hair tied in a high ponytail above her head, accentuating her sharp eyes and chubby cheeks. Her smile is soft, the way it always was when it was just the two of them. Jennie had different, contrasting personalities—she was quick-witted, snarky and outgoing around other people. But when she and Nayeon were alone, it was different. Jennie was soft and sweet. She touched Nayeon with a reverence reserved for holy beings and she kissed Nayeon like she was a fountain and Jennie hadn’t had a sip of water in _ years. _

Where did it all go wrong?

What did Nayeon lack?

Why did Jennie leave? 

The pain in her heart returns again. It’s almost like there’s still a shard of Cupid’s arrow stuck somewhere in there, even after all these months. She swallows the lump in her throat.

“How are you doing?” Jennie asks, keeping a respectable distance between them.

_ Like shit _, Nayeon thinks. “I’m fine.”

“That’s good.” 

Nayeon hopes that Jennie can’t see right through her. It’d be mortifying. She doesn’t want her ex-girlfriend to think that even after one year, she’s still hung up on her. She tries to rack her brain for any questions that might come in mind but they all seem so pathetic, riddled with longing and nostalgia—_ are you still working at your dad’s firm? How are your parents? Do you still have the pajamas I accidentally forgot to take? How are you? Did you miss me? Do you want to try again? Where did we go wrong? Was I enough? Is there a part of you that still loves me? _

_ Because a part of me always will _, a voice in Nayeon’s head whispers. 

A hand on her back stills her thoughts. 

“Hi,” Mina greets, appearing by her side and smiling politely at Jennie, “I’m Mina and you are?” 

There’s a split second where Jennie looks surprised. But the moment ends and she shifts her expression into a cool one. Nayeon knows that tactic anywhere. She spent four years memorizing it. 

“Kim Jennie.”

“Ah.” Mina nods. “Jennie-ssi—I’ve heard stories about you.” 

Nayeon glances sharply at Mina, eyes wide. Mina doesn’t look at her, staring straight at Jennie. 

“Good ones, I hope,” Nayeon’s ex-girlfriend drawls, taking the unspoken challenge. 

“Hmm, I wouldn’t be so sure.” 

The next pause is tense. Jennie narrows her eyes and straightens her back. “I’m sorry,” she says, painfully insincere, “I don’t think I caught your name earlier. Who did you say you were again?” 

Nayeon feels her nerves slowly taking over. The hand on her back doesn’t waver. Instead, she feels Mina pulling her closer and the hand shifts to wrap around her waist. “Myoui Mina,” the younger girl says, narrowing her own eyes, “and I’m Nayeon’s girlfriend.” 

This time, Jennie is unable to mask the surprise in her face. It should make Nayeon happy—this is what she wanted after all: to prove to Jennie that she wasn’t hurt by their break-up. But now, she feels like shit. Because she knows that Mina isn’t her girlfriend and she never will be. 

“Oh,” Jennie says, now uncomfortable—not visibly but Nayeon just _ knows _, “I see.” 

“Thank you, by the way,” Mina suddenly tells Jennie. 

Nayeon looks at her pretend girlfriend carefully, trying to gauge what she’s going to say next. 

“For what?” Jennie asks carefully, frowning.

“For breaking up with Nayeonnie,” Mina answers, voice leaving no room for argument; both Nayeon and Jennie reel back, as if they’ve just been slapped, “If you hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have met her.” 

Silence. Nayeon is mortified. 

Jennie’s eyes flicker over to Nayeon. “Well,” she says, clearing her throat, “I’m not sure what to say to that but I’ll take that as my cue to leave. It was nice seeing you again, Nayeon.” She offers a stiff nod to Mina before walking away, possibly towards where Jisoo is talking to the other guests. 

Nayeon counts to ten before she turns to Mina. “What the hell was that for?” she hisses, her face heating up. She didn’t expect Mina to act so _ territorial _when faced with Jennie. Nayeon was supposed to be the one flaunting her, not the other way around. Now she just feels like an idiot who can’t even hold a conversation with her ex-girlfriend. Jennie probably thinks less of her now. 

To her surprise, Mina glares at her. “Isn’t that what you wanted me to do?” she asks tersely. 

“You could’ve been a little _ nicer _—”

“Why would I pretend to be nice to someone who broke your heart?” Mina demands, seeming at a loss for words, “You might think that I’m good at acting, Nayeon, but that’s just too far.” 

“No,” Nayeon snaps, “What you _ said _was too far—” 

“Are you seriously mad at me for doing what I was tasked to do?”

“You could’ve handled it bet—”

Mina shuts her up by leaning forward and kissing her. The kiss takes Nayeon completely by surprise but she immediately responds, her arms moving up to wrap around Mina’s neck as she feels the younger girl dragging her fingers down her sides. Unlike the previous kisses, this one is harsh and unyielding. Mina isn’t gentle or soft. Instead, it’s almost like she’s trying to prove something, like she’s trying to tell Nayeon words that can’t be expressed with language. Her mouth is hard, teeth biting down on her lower lip and swiping at it with her tongue afterwards. Then she pulls away, breathing heavily. 

“What was that for?” Nayeon manages to stutter. 

Mina keeps her close. “To shut you up,” she mumbles, her gaze softening, “You were rambling.” 

Nayeon can’t stop herself from blushing. “There are other ways of shutting me up, you know.”

“I know.” Mina releases her, taking a step back. “But I like that one.” 

Nayeon’s mouth is dry. She shakes her head, still feeling dazed from the kiss. It’s their third one and yet, none of them were real. She cradles this fact close to her chest, as a strong reminder of why having feelings for Mina is one of the worst things that can happen to her right now. Still, she can’t help but sigh and smile. 

“Thank you,” she relents, her cheeks still warm, “for saving me back there. I kind of got flustered when I saw Jennie again. You always know when to show up.”

Mina raises an eyebrow, returning the said smile. The tension from last night and during their encounter with Jennie seems to have disappeared. “Like you said," she mutters, “I’m your guardian angel.” 

…

(The wedding starts an hour later. Mina is seated at the back with Somi and Ryujin on either side of her. The guests stand up when the music begins and turn their attention to the back where Chaeyoung is already waiting to begin her walk. 

She’s wearing a white three-piece suit with golden patterns running down the length of her front and arms and a matching tie tucked underneath the vest. She looks _ ethereal _ , like an archangel sent from the heavens. The light make-up around her eyes accentuate the royalty she exudes. When she smiles, she is _ radiant _.

Chaeyoung walks down the aisle with her father leading her, followed by her best woman, Dahyun, and the rest of the bridesmaids. Mina cranes her neck to look for Nayeon. She already saw her earlier when Jennie showed up. But she wants to see her in her full glory now. The thought of watching her walk down the aisle with flowers in her hands is enough to take Mina’s breath away. 

Dahyun passes by. Jeongyeon too, followed by Jihyo. And then—_ oh _. There she is. Nayeon looks up when she passes by her row. Their eyes meet and Mina’s entire world stops.

_ Beautiful _.)

…

“Seriously,” Jeongyeon mutters under her breath when Jihyo starts sniffing, “The bride hasn’t even _ shown _up yet and you’re already crying?” 

Jihyo dabs at her eyes. “Shut up,” she says, “I’m on my period.” 

Nayeon snorts, watching as Tzuyu, led by her father and followed by her bridesmaids, walk up to the aisle. It's a slow process, especially with the volume of Tzuyu's dress and Sana and Momo tripping every few steps due to the uneven ground. Dahyun pats Chaeyoung's back, whispering '_ you got the girl! _' 

Even from a distance, Tzuyu looks absolutely breathtaking. Like God took His time in shaping her creation. A crown of unique flowers rest on top of her head, more elaborate than the bridesmaids'. Her navy blue hair falls down her chest like waterfalls, a startling contrast to the white v-neck sleeveless lace wedding dress designed with a similar golden embroidery to Chaeyoung's suit. It has a golden lacing wrapped snugly around the middle. She looks stunning, eyes crinkled around the corners when she sees Chaeyoung beaming brightly at her.

Truly, Chou Tzuyu is the most beautiful girl in the room. Then Nayeon's gaze finds Mina in the crowd and she remembers. 

Everybody settles down once Tzuyu reaches the end of the aisle, her father passing her to her future wife. Nayeon catches the look on Chaeyoung's face when she glances at her friends. It's full of love and adoration. It's enough to get her teary-eyed. _ Fuck _. From their vantage point, they can only see Nayeon's expression since Chaeng's back is turned to her bridesmaids. 

"I'll bet you 20,000 won if Nayeon ends up crying first," Nayeon hears Dahyun telling Jeongyeon, "Like full-on bawling." 

"30,000 won if its Jihyo," Jeongyeon whispers back, jerking her head to the said girl, "She's already halfway through." 

Jihyo not so subtly slaps her from behind. 

"Friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Son Chaeyoung and Chou Tzuyu," the officiant announces, beaming brightly at the brides. He goes on to say a few things about finding true love in today's time. Nayeon zones out for a couple of seconds because the last thing she needs right now is to be lectured about her love life, especially when it's still such a mess. She finds herself picking at the flowers in her hand. 

She can feel someone watching her though. When she looks around, she sees Mina looking at her with a fond smile. She smiles back. 

Jihyo sniffles again and Nayeon realizes that Chaeyoung is already beginning her vows. Due to the crowd being quiet, her voice carries out across the garden clearly and confidently: "Disclaimer," Chaeyoung tells her future wife, chuckling, "This is a really sappy speech that I may or may not have finished last night while you were asleep but it comes from the heart and I apologize in advance if I suddenly start crying." 

Tzuyu laughs, nodding. The shorter girl pulls out a folded piece of paper from her pocket, glancing at it for a few seconds, before she throws it away. 

Nayeon can tell that Chaeyoung is already close to tears with the way her shoulders are shaking and a part of her wants nothing more than to reach out and embrace her. It's not everyday she gets to witness one of her closest friends finally getting hitched. Her heart feels full, seconds away from bursting. 

"Ever since I was a kid," Chaeyoung begins, reaching out to hold Tzuyu's hands, "I've always believed in soulmates. Maybe it's the poet in me but I have this firm belief that there exists that one perfect person in the entire world who is meant for you. The person who will find you at the most unexpected of times. The person you've been waiting for your whole life." 

Chaeyoung stops, taking a deep breath. Tzuyu sniffles, nodding at her to continue. Nayeon feels tears burning behind her eyes as she watches the two of them. They look so innocent and in love she can't help but feel envious.

Chaeyoung always has a way of words that can melt even the coldest of hearts. Nayeon remembers a time when she received a birthday letter from the younger girl when she was away and cried reading it. As she listens to Chaeyoung’s words now, she can’t help but let her mind wander. 

_ That one perfect person in the entire world who is meant for you _ . She thinks of Mina, standing next to her by the ocean in the evening, looking up at the stars. _ The person who will find you at the most unexpected of times _. She thinks of Mina, appearing by her side at the sight of Jennie, a calming presence amidst Nayeon’s turmoil. 

_ The person you’ve been waiting for your whole life _. 

She thinks of Mina, not realizing that Mina is thinking of her too. 

"I am incredibly fortunate to have found that person," Chaeyoung goes on, voice quivering, "and now, she's standing in front of me, despite the rest of the world telling her not to and despite only knowing me for six months. That's the funny thing about love, right? When you know, you _ know _. And you would risk everything just to be with that person, even if it's the most illogical thing in the entire world." 

_ The most illogical thing in the entire world _. 

Nayeon's gaze moves across the crowd to land on Mina. The younger girl is watching the brides, beaming softly. Her eyes are shining. She looks so beautiful it _ hurts. _

And that’s when the tears start spilling out of Nayeon’s eyes. Dahyun smirks at Jeongyeon.

"Tzuyu-yah, you are my soulmate. The love of my life. My future wife. I vow to love you everyday until the end of our days," Chaeyoung promises, sounding all choked up. Tzuyu's smile widens, the dimple on her cheek poking out; "Even on the days when you don't want me to or when I accidentally forget to feed Gucci his treats or make stupid jokes when you're cranky. I vow to treat you the way you should be treated. If that means waking up during ungodly hours just to eat breakfast with you or living with bread as our only sustenance for _ months _, then I would. But most of all, I vow to be your best friend, your confidant, your partner. I vow to never leave your side because there’s no place I would rather be.”

Everybody in the audience coos. A few of them are wiping away their tears. Nayeon glances at her friends to find them not so discreetly covering their faces. Jihyo keeps dabbing at her face. Jeongyeon is staring up into the sky. Dahyun looks seconds away from bawling but manages to stop herself. Nayeon raises her flowers up to her eyes and inhales shakily. Okay. No more crying. She doesn’t want to ruin her make-up. She can do this. _ Damn _. Chaeyoung’s speech makes her feel warm all over. Her friend is definitely the next Shakespeare in the making. 

"I didn't want to cry," Chaeyoung admits, raising her head up the clouds and wiping under her eyes. She lets go of Tzuyu's left hand and turns away from the audience to cry in peace. "I swear—I'm cooler than this," they all hear her saying.

"Let it out!" Somi yells from where she's seated, eliciting laughter out of the guests.

Dahyun pats Chaeyoung's back, throwing her a thumbs up. Once Chaeyoung finally calms down, Tzuyu asks if she should start. Her fiancé nods. On Tzuyu's side, even though the bride hasn't even spoken yet, Elkie is already crying. Momo has her arm wrapped around Sana who looks close to ruining her make-up. 

Nayeon inhales deeply and wipes at her face. 

Then they all wait for Tzuyu, who pulls out her own folded piece of paper from her belt. She doesn't throw it away like what Chaeyoung did earlier. Instead, she reads what she's written out loud, her Korean a little rough around the edges:

"I've never been the most spontaneous person out there," Tzuyu starts slowly and carefully, her right hand intertwined with Chaeyoung's as the left one holds the paper high, "I prepared my vows beforehand because I know that if I don't, I'll end up crying in front of everybody here." This gets a laugh out of the guests and Tzuyu's smile widens. "So, here are the things I vow to do once we become wives. I’m sorry for not being as romantic as you, Chaengie. You always know how to express yourself better than I ever can." 

Over Tzuyu's shoulder, Nayeon spots Elkie, Sana and Momo leaning forward in anticipation. Perhaps Tzuyu is expressing herself is a rare occurrence. 

Tzuyu takes a deep breath as she looks at what she's written. Then her eyes suddenly fill with tears. Chaeyoung laughs as her future wife breaks down in the middle of the ceremony, a watery smile on her lips. 

"It's okay, it's okay," Chaeyoung says encouragingly, reaching out and caressing Tzuyu’s cheeks with her thumb. 

"Thank you," Tzuyu responds. She takes another deep breath and starts over, wiping at her eyes, "Chaeyoung-ah, I vow to wake you up every morning, cook you breakfast and take Gucci out on walks with you. I vow to listen to you geek out about Star Wars, to watch you paint every time you're hit with inspiration, to know when to leave you alone and when to embrace you during the bad days. I also vow to keep our spare room vacant at all times so that Dahyunnie can visit us everyday since I know that marrying you means marrying her too." 

Chaeyoung laughs and Dahyun punches the air triumphantly, a wide grin on her face. "DubChaeng is a package deal," she confirms, yelping when she gets hit by Jeongyeon with her bouquet.

Tzuyu shakes her head, smiling fondly. "But most of all," she goes on to say, "I vow to love you with all my heart even though you stole it the second I saw you in the streets of Seoul." 

Nayeon is full-on crying now. _ Fuck _. It's just so goddamn beautiful. Look at these babies getting married! She’s known Chaeyoung since she was in freaking middle school and yet, she’s the first one to find the love of her life. Life really does work in mysterious ways. She hastily grabs the tissue Jihyo discreetly hands her (because the other girl is also crying) and glares at Dahyun and Jeongyeon snickering from behind their bouquets, their cheeks tear-stained as well.

"I'm not as adventurous or exciting as you," Tzuyu continues, pursing her lips and glancing at Chaeyoung before reading her speech again, "and maybe I never will be but I want you to know that you were and still are the greatest risk I ever took. I don't regret anything. People will tell us we're too young or we're moving too fast but the past six months have been nothing short of _ amazing _ and I know the rest of our lives will be too."

Nayeon can't see Chaeyoung's face but she knows that the shorter girl is probably crying harder now. “Not romantic my ass,” the shorter girl grumbles, chuckling. Tzuyu finishes with her speech, her eyes red around the edges. The two brides share a private, bashful smile. Nayeon takes this time to glance at Mina and finds the girl already looking at her. 

Her heart races.

It feels exactly like being submerged in the depths of the ocean. Like being surrounded by a world you thought you'd never see again. Mina is the water and Nayeon is drowning in her. 

_ Why are you so afraid that she could love you back? _

Nayeon closes her eyes. 

_ Because she could do the same thing Jennie did. _

The officiant sniffles, looking teary-eyed as well. “Okay, lovebirds,” he calls, smiling good-naturedly, “Here's the best part—Son Chaeyoung, do you take Chou Tzuyu as your lawful, wedded wife?” 

“Hell yes,” Chaeyoung answers proudly, making everybody laugh. 

“Chou Tzuyu, do you take Son Chaeyoung as your lawful, wedded wife?” 

“I do,” Tzuyu says, more tears spilling from her eyes. Chaeyoung gently wipes them away. 

Dahyun and Elkie step forward to hand the couple their wedding rings. Then they all watch as Chaeyoung slips hers into Tzuyu’s finger and then vice versa. Everybody holds their breath, looking at the officiant expectantly. 

“I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

Nayeon can’t help but giggle when Chaeyoung has to stand on her tippy toes and Tzuyu has to crane her neck down so that their lips can meet. The kiss is chaste and sweet. Both girls are smiling widely. Everybody claps. Sana and Momo squeal in excitement. Jihyo turns around to cry in peace. Dahyun claps the hardest, looking like a proud mother. Jeongyeon reaches out to Nayeon and wraps her up in a hug that only happens once in a blue moon.

“Makes you believe in love, huh?” she muses, watching as Chaeyoung and Tzuyu begin their walk down the aisle. 

Nayeon’s eyes find Mina in the crowd again, as usual. The other girl is already standing up and applauding the newly weds, looking radiant in her light pink dress. “Yeah,” she agrees, sighing, “it does.” 

…

(_ I vow to love you with all my heart even though you stole it the second I saw you in the streets of Seoul _, Tzuyu had said during her vows.

Mina thinks of the first time she saw Nayeon—the girl had rushed in the elevator on Mina’s first day. She was wearing a black and white dress suit, dark hair casually tied in a low ponytail and swept over one shoulder. Her phone was in her hand and she hadn’t noticed Mina when she waltzed in. Until Mina asked, “What’s your floor?” 

The girl looked up. Their gazes met. Mina felt something bloom in her chest—like the first rays of sunlight streaming through an open window and shining into her eyes.

“Oh,” the girl said, glancing around briefly. “Eighth floor.”

“Same floor, then.”

Mina pressed said button. It was quiet. Then the newcomer pocketed her phone and extended her right hand. She smiled widely, her bunny teeth peeking out from her lips. Mina took her hand. It was warm, friendly.

“Hi,” the girl greeted, “My name is Nayeon. I work at Sales.” 

_ Just like that _—Mina was smitten.) 

…

Mina is seated with Sana and Momo in the other side of the tent, catching up with them over dinner. Nayeon can’t take her eyes off her. After realizing her feelings last night, it’s almost like her senses are catered towards the person of her affections. Nothing else matters except for Mina. 

It’s the same feeling she felt with Jennie those years ago but different somehow—stronger, fuller, and more powerful. With Jennie, it’d been like being on top of the world. But with Mina, it’s like swimming in the middle of the ocean. Completely and utterly terrifying but woefully wonderful at the same time. Overwhelming, breathtaking, immense. Like Mina is all that she knows and all she will ever know. Despite the fact that Jennie and Jisoo are sitting at the table adjacent to theirs, Nayeon's eyes are glued to Mina and Mina only. 

“Take a picture,” Jeongyeon tells her, “It’ll last longer.” 

Nayeon shoots her best friend a glare. “Shut up.”

“I don’t get it,” Jihyo says, frowning, “If you miss her so badly, even though you’ve been glued to each other’s side for the past three days, why don’t you just go to her?” 

“Are you fighting?” Jeongyeon persists. 

Not really wanting to talk about it, Nayeon turns her attention back to her food. Even though it’s delicious, she doesn’t really have the appetite to finish her vegetables. “It’s none of your business, guys,” she mutters, “so please leave me alone until I sort it out.” 

Her two closest friends glare at her. “It might not be our business,” Jeongyeon says, “but we care about you and even the dumbest person in this room can tell that you’re hurting right now.” 

Nayeon curses them for being so in tune with her emotions. 

“I’ll be fine,” she promises, forcing a smile, “It’s just me being stupid, as usual.”

“Is this something you can fix?” Jihyo asks carefully.

Nayeon pauses, thinking about it. Then she nods firmly, despite knowing that its a lie. "Yeah," she says, "I can fix it. Don't worry." 

"I saw you and Jennie earlier." Jihyo glances not so discreetly at the said person in the next table. "Did she say something?" 

Jeongyeon surges forward, as if she has half the mind to wrestle Nayeon's ex-girlfriend right there and then. Thankfully, Jihyo stops her. "If she said _ anything _to you," the short-haired girl grumbles, glaring at Jennie and Jisoo, who are laughing as they feed each other spoonfuls of food.

"Calm your tits," Nayeon says, the sight turning her stomach, "She just came by to say hi." 

"You and I know her better than that," Jihyo points out, "She wants to see how badly she hurt you, wants to see if the wound still runs deep. Thank God you have Mina here then." 

Nayeon's throat closes. She wants to say so many things: about how Jennie isn't _ completely _ as heartless as her friends believe her to be, how she doesn't have Mina, not in the way they expect she does and how Nayeon feels so confused about the two of them being in the same place. Because as much as Jennie is the catalyst for them doing this whole fake dating agreement, Nayeon has grown to know and care about Mina so much more than that. 

"Did Mina say anything to her?" Jeongyeon asks, quirking an interested brow. 

Despite Nayeon being mortified about what Mina said to Jennie earlier that afternoon, she can't be mad about it for too long. Mina did her job—she proved to Jennie that Nayeon was over her. Besides, it also served as a reminder that Mina is only here because of her job: to pretend that she's in love with Nayeon. 

The thought hurts a lot more than she lets on. 

"She said her hellos," Nayeon murmurs, glancing at her pretend girlfriend again. She's laughing at something Sana said while Momo watches fondly. "Anyway, are you two idiots going to ask your girls to dance later?" 

Jeongyeon and Jihyo jolt at the sudden change of topic. "D—d—da—dance?" they both sputter, looking like fishes out of water. 

"Yes, dumb and dumber." 

Before her friends can respond, Dahyun comes back from another table. "I did it guys!" she squeals excitedly, waving her phone around, "I got her number!" 

“Holy fuck!” Jeongyeon says, a proud look on her face, “Looks like our Dubu _ does _have some game.” 

Nayeon laughs. Earlier that afternoon, all the guests gathered outside the tent to hopefully catch the bouquet. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu went up to the second floor of the mansion and threw their flowers over their heads. Unexpectedly, both Dahyun and a girl named Gahyeon (who was friends with Tzuyu back in high school) were the lucky ones. Dahyun took this as a sign and decided to ask ‘the cute bouquet girl’ out. _ Chaeng’s already married. Might as well get a girlfriend! _

"Yeah, she seems really cool," Dahyun says, grinning shyly, "I asked her to save me a dance later." 

“See?” Nayeon gestures at their younger friend, pleased. “At least Dahyun has some guts to ask a girl out to dance. Can’t you bitches do that too?” 

“I was planning on asking her anyway, thank you very much,” Jihyo says, crossing her arms.

“I’m not going to ask Momo to dance,” Jeongyeon grumbles, looking horrified, “The last time we danced, we ended up having sex. Then I woke up to find her gone. What if I was… _ bad _ ? Besides, we did this whole thing backwards—I just _ met _her.” 

Nayeon, Jihyo and Dahyun burst out laughing. “_ That’s _ what you’re worried about?” Jihyo asks with a grin, “The sex? Jeong, I don’t think Momo’s the type of person who cares about that. And so what if you started backwards? Chaeng and Tzu got married after _ six _months.” 

“Fuck off, Park.” Jeongyeon glances at the girl they’re talking about. “I don’t know much about her, okay? Forgive me for being nervous.” 

Nayeon thinks back to her earlier conversation with Momo about Mina. “Don’t be,” she says, putting a hand on her best friend’s arm, “She’s great. You two would hit it off.”

Jeongyeon looks at her carefully. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with Nayeon?”

“Dude, you got us for support!” Dahyun yells, shaking Jeongyeon by the shoulders, “Since Chaeng’s already hitched, _ I _can be your wingwoman! I can prove to you that I can fill in her shoes. Hey, I might even be better than her!” 

“Dahyun-ah, the last thing I want—” 

“OH MY GOD!” Dahyun balks suddenly, catching sight of the time. “I was supposed to deliver my best woman speech a minute ago!” 

Jihyo whistles. “That explains why Elkie’s throwing death glares at you from the other table.” Tzuyu’s maid-of-honor, while friendly outside of wedding duties, can be a complete nightmare to deal with if the schedule of events isn’t followed down to the last second.

Dahyun hastily stands up and grabs a microphone from Ryujin, whose leading the band. Then she does what every best man in a wedding does. She takes a champagne glass from their table and taps it with a knife. The only problem is, she hits it too hard and it ends up shattering in her hand. She yelps and hastily puts the remains of the glass down, an embarrassed expression on her face. Nayeon spots Chaeyoung holding back her laughter at the center table with Tzuyu shaking her head fondly. 

Everybody hushes down as Dahyun clears her throat. “Hi, everybody, Chaeng’s best woman here,” she greets. Every time she’s happy, her eyes crinkle around the corners and nearly disappear into slits. Nayeon sees this now as Dahyun turns her attention to Chaeyoung and Tzuyu seated at the center table. 

“Tonight, I am expected to share embarrassing anecdotes and crack inside jokes about Chaeyoung and Tzuyu,” Dahyun goes on to say, “but for once, I’m going to disappoint everybody in this room because I want to tell you what happened the day after my best friend met the love of her life.”

Nayeon sees Tzuyu perking up. Maybe she hasn’t heard this story before. On her side, Chaeyoung covers her face with her hand, smiling shyly. Dahyun continues, “We all know how they met, right? They both bumped into each other while walking around the streets of Seoul. Chaeng lost her paperwork and Tzuyu broke her camera. Then like the idiot that she is, Chaeng asked her out on a date. It’s very meet-cute, if you ask me. What you guys _ don’t _know is that Chaeng had to borrow money from her broke ass best friend to pay for that said camera.” 

Everybody laughs. Tzuyu gives her wife a dubious look. 

“You might not think this is a big deal,” Dahyun hurries to say, growing serious, “but let me tell you one thing about Son Chaeyoung—she _ hates _asking for help. Doesn’t matter if it’s physical or monetary. She clams up when it comes to this kind of stuff. Ever since we were kids, Chaeng would literally rather spend the entire lunch period drawing on her sketchpad than make new friends. She’ll tell you that she’s being cool but we all know that she was just being an angsty little kid who was too shy to make the first move. When we both graduated from college and she couldn’t find any jobs, she lived off on instant noodles just to pay her half of the rent and didn’t tell her friends about it. When I insisted on paying for her, she refused. Chaeyoung is both stubborn and prideful that way.” 

Nayeon nods. This is exactly how Chaeyoung reacts when it comes to her problems. She shuts everybody out and finds a way to fix them herself. Another reason why she’s always had difficulty in expressing herself, especially in terms of gratitude. 

“So, when Chaeng came up to me and asked to borrow some money to fix a broken camera, I just knew that it was related to some girl,” Dahyun says, cracking a grin and nodding at the newlyweds, “but it turns out—Tzuyu isn’t just some girl. She’s The Girl.” 

Nayeon sneaks a glance at Mina who’s listening intently. Then she looks away, focusing her attention back to Dahyun. Not every sappy little speech about love _ has _to be about Mina, even though it feels like most of them are. 

“Chaeng and I have our fair share of code words,” Dahyun tells the guests, bumping her chest with her fist, “When we were kids, she told me that if she ever found The Girl, then she’d do anything to be with her. So after she swallowed her pride and asked for help in repairing a camera, I knew then that she’d found her.”

All eyes turn to Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. Both of them are smiling at Dahyun, their hands clasped together on the tabletop. 

“Chaeyoung is the best person I know.” Dahyun’s voice gets softer, the same way it always does whenever she gets asked to lead the prayer and she’s reminded of how good God has been to her. “She’s my best friend. My partner-in-crime. I know her like the back of my hand and if there’s anybody in the world who can handle her when she gets in her moods or when she’s needy and clingy or when she clams up and shuts herself from the world, it’s Tzuyu.” 

And then Dahyun starts crying, right in the middle of her speech. She hastily wipes away the tears, her right hand clutching the microphone tightly. When she takes a deep breath, her shoulders shake. “Chaeyoung-ah, Tzuyu-yah,” she starts again, smiling through the tears streaming down her cheeks, “I’m happy for you both and I wish you all the best in life. Chaeng, I might not be your number one anymore but you will always be mine. Much love, bro.” 

Suddenly, Chaeyoung stands up and leaps over the table. Everybody gasps. Even Tzuyu is baffled at such a move. They all watch as Chaeyoung rushes over to Dahyun and wraps her up in a heartfelt embrace, clutching her shoulders tightly. The two of them pat each other on the back, never letting go.

Jihyo starts crying again. Nayeon’s eyes prickle with more tears. 

“Fucking idiots,” Jeongyeon mutters, taking a shot. There’s a shaky smile playing on her lips, her eyes spilling water.

Chaeyoung and Dahyun pull back from each other, laughing and crying at the same time. “Before I go do my infamous eagle dance to lighten up the mood,” the latter says into the microphone, sniffing, “I just want to say this: Momo-unnie, my dear friend Jeongyeon wants to dance with you later. Bye!” 

An uproar. The guests, who know of Momo and Jeongyeon all holler and clap their hands. Jeongyeon looks absolutely horrified, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. “_ That’s not what a wingwoman is supposed to do _!” she yells. 

Nayeon glances at Mina's table where she sees Momo covering her face with hands.

“Thank me later!” Dahyun says before the beginning of DJ Hanmin’s _ Show Me Your BBA SAE _starts playing and she starts gearing up for her eagle dance. What happens next is a chaotic five minutes of Kim Dahyun once again embarrassing herself on stage. Nayeon’s almost forgotten what it’s like to laugh like her sides are going to burst wide open. 

It's good to be home. 

…

("Do you want to dance?" Jihyo stands before their table, one hand extended towards Sana. Her smile is tinged with nervousness, which ultimately disappears once Sana accepts her hand. 

"Took you long enough," Sana says cheekily, rising to her feet, "I was getting impatient." 

"Would you have minded waiting a little bit longer?" 

There's a sparkle in Sana's eyes that only Jihyo can bring out—Mina sees this and wonders what it'd be if Nayeon looked at her like that too. 

"For you? Always," Sana responds and the two of them move to the dance floor where the rest of the guests are already swaying to the music.

Mina turns to Momo. "Waiting for someone too?" she asks, tilting her head to where Jeongyeon is not so subtly panicking in a corner. 

Momo sighs and takes a shot of her drink. "Time to make the first move again," she says, standing up and shooting a quick smile at Mina, "Head's up." Then she walks over to Jeongyeon. 

Mina doesn't have to turn around to know that somebody's standing behind her seat. She also doesn't have to look to know that it's Nayeon. The way her skin prickles with anticipation at their close proximity is enough indication.

"Hi." Nayeon's voice, smooth as velvet. "Can I have this dance?" 

Mina smiles, blushing to herself. She stands up and instinctively reaches out for Nayeon's hand. They lock eyes and Mina finds herself falling harder than ever before, especially when Nayeon smiles back. 

"Always," Mina says. 

_ You can have everything. _) 

…

Because of her heels, Nayeon is a few inches taller than Mina when she drags her to the dance floor. Her eyes move around the space, spotting Sana and Jihyo talking to each other as they dance, Chaeyoung leaning on Tzuyu's chest as they sway to the slow song, Dahyun making Gahyeon laugh and Momo dragging Jeongyeon to the center. A part of her heart shrivels and dies at the sight of Jennie leaning in and kissing Jisoo in the corner. The larger part is focused entirely on Mina's arms around her neck. 

"Hi," Nayeon tells Mina, "how was the wedding?" 

"Beautiful," the younger girl answers, smiling up at her,"I've lost count of the tissues I had to throw away." 

Nayeon snorts. "No kidding—Jeong and Dahyun made a bet on who would cry first: me or Jihyo." 

"You lost, predictably." 

"It was Jeong's money, anyway." 

Mina rolls her eyes fondly. Her fingers thread through Nayeon’s hair almost subconsciously and Nayeon can’t help but shiver at her touch. She feels calm, at peace. She imagines this is how Mina must feel every time she’s standing in front of the ocean as well. Like there's literally no place you'd rather be. 

Falling in love with someone is funny like that. Nayeon thinks of Jennie and wonders if this is how she felt with Jisoo while they were still together.

"The wedding's almost over," Mina points out, looking deep in thought. 

_ Don't remind me _, Nayeon thinks. One year knowing each other, two weeks preparing, three days pretending—she didn't think falling in love with Mina would be such a gradual process she almost didn't notice it. But now here they are, knowing each other like the back of their hands, and Nayeon doesn't want it to end. 

"It's been two weeks," Mina goes on when Nayeon doesn't utter a response, "and you still don't know how to make my coffee." 

Nayeon laughs, shaking her head and pulling the younger girl closer. She traces Mina's name on her waist. "The challenge isn't over," she says, "I can still learn."

Mina raises an inquisitive brow. "Oh? Are we still doing the whole bring-me-coffee-every-morning routine?" 

"It's our thing, isn't it?"

Mina pauses, gazing into Nayeon's eyes with wonder. Then she clears her throat and looks away. "Vanilla," she says suddenly. 

Nayeon frowns, tilting her head to the side. "What?" 

"You've been missing a key ingredient the whole time," Mina tells her, smirking, "and I doubt you're going to guess it anytime soon." 

"Vanilla, huh?" Nayeon shares in Mina's smile, wanting nothing more than to kiss her. "I'll keep that in mind." 

The song changes to another slow ballad and Nayeon gently twirls Mina around, laughing when Mina does so gracefully. Another thing she learned about Mina the past few weeks—she studied ballet for eleven years. Nayeon isn't a bad dancer herself so she manages to keep up with her as well. She lets the younger girl put one hand on her shoulder and another on her waist. Nayeon mirrors the position. 

Mina is looking at her strangely. "Did I do good?" The question is painfully ambiguous but Nayeon understands—Mina is talking about their deal. 

"You're the best fake girlfriend I've ever had," Nayeon confesses. _ And I want it to be real, _she thinks silently. 

Mina's eyes sparkle when she smiles. "I'm glad," she says. 

"Thank you." The words leave Nayeon's mouth in a rush, completely out of nowhere. She feels like she just put her heart on her sleeve. "You have no idea how much this meant to me. You saved my ass, Mina." 

“I have to live up to my guardian angel name,” Mina says cheekily, “Besides, it’s what friends do, right?”

_ Friends _. Normally, Nayeon would be offended if somebody she was interested in called her nothing more than a friend but with Mina, it brings a rush of warmth and affection in her heart. Because she needed a friend and Mina provided. Besides, she has no plans of being more than that.

Somebody suddenly starts howling. Nayeon looks up and sees that it’s Dahyun, raising her fist in the air proudly as she watches Sana and Jihyo kissing in the middle of the dance floor. The rest of their friends cheer as well. Jihyo pulls away, looking absolutely starstruck and Sana smiles before she leans in to kiss her again.

“Your friend is very bold,” Nayeon muses, pleased with this turn of events. 

“Sana knows what she wants,” Mina murmurs, “and she’s not afraid to get it.”

“How brave.” Nayeon smirks. “I wish everybody was like that.” 

Nayeon’s eyes move around the dance floor, passing over Jeongyeon nervously leading Momo to a slow dance, Chaeyoung trying to twirl Tzuyu around despite being a head shorter and Dahyun exaggeratedly doing her rendition of a ballroom dance with Gahyeon. Then her gaze lands on Jennie and Jisoo. Jennie is wearing Nayeon’s favorite smile as she looks at her new girlfriend—the kind that makes her disappear and her cheeks pop up. It’s the kind of smile that she used to give to Nayeon during their first year of dating. 

The smile that gradually disappeared over the following months. 

Nayeon’s heart clenches in itself. She thinks back to her conversation with Dahyun that morning. _ Love isn't an equation we can solve. It either works or it doesn't. _The logical part of her brain is trying to tell her that Mina would never hurt her the same way Jennie did. Another part, the larger, irrational part that’s still stuck in the past, is screaming at her to not be so stupid. Because she thought that Jennie wouldn’t hurt her too.

Now look at where she is. 

(Mina’s heart is racing painfully inside her chest. _ How brave _, Nayeon said.)

“Nayeonnie?” Mina calls gently, redirecting Nayeon’s attention back to her. Her warm brown eyes are riddled with hesitance. 

(_ I wish everybody was like that _.) 

“What is it?” 

(_ I know what I want _ , Mina wants to say, _ and I’m not afraid to get it _.) 

“Kiss me,” Mina says, her voice firm and clear. 

Nayeon blinks. “What?” 

“Kiss me,” Mina repeats and her arms move up to wrap around Nayeon’s neck, locking them close. “Please,” she adds, desperate and needy.

Nayeon doesn’t need to be told thrice. Since the three days are over, she knows she’s never going to get another chance to kiss Mina again. So she brings her hands up, cups Mina’s face in her palms and leans forward. When their mouths connect, it’s like breaking the surface of the ocean and inhaling your first breath in _ years _. She lets out a soft sigh that Mina inhales greedily. The kiss is soft and slow. No tongue, no teeth. Just lips moving against each other like they’re trying to memorize this moment and immortalize it in the back of their minds. Maybe they are. Nayeon knows that she is.

Nayeon keeps her eyes closed, wanting nothing more than for this to last. In this very moment, all she knows is Mina. The smell of her perfume, the taste of her lips, the press of their bodies against each other, the sound of the slow song coming to an end—she is completely and utterly overwhelmed. She’s drowning and she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

When the song finally ends, they pull away. Nayeon’s eyes flutter open to find that Mina still has hers closed. She takes the few precious seconds to move her thumb and trace the mole on the younger girl’s upper lip. Then she waits as Mina takes a deep breath and opens her eyes slowly. Their gazes meet. 

(_ I love you _ , Mina wants to say, wishing desperately to have the courage to do so, _ I’ve been in love with you since the day we met. You can have me _ — _ all of me _ — _ and all you have to do is say you love me too _.) 

Nayeon realizes something fundamentally world shattering in that precise moment. 

Oh.

_ Oh _. 

_ I love you _ , she thinks, _ I’m in love with you. _

“Nayeonnie,” Mina begins, looking like she wants to tell her something important. 

Panic fills Nayeon’s bones. She takes a step back, inhaling a sharp breath. She thinks back to what Dahyun said: _ you’re afraid of her being in love with you too _. Never has the fear been more solidified than in this moment right here, with Mina looking heartbroken at her reaction. 

"I—" Nayeon tries to think but all that's on her mind right now is Jennie's last text message: _ I've met someone else. _ She tries to tell herself to _ give in _, that Mina would never hurt her the same way Jennie did, that she could be happy if she just let the past go. 

But she just _ can't _. 

"I need some air," she says instead, hurrying outside the tent with Mina calling after her. 

A strong gust of wind greets her as she runs over to the small cliff overlooking the sea. Tears sting the back of her eyes and she hastily blinks to stop them from flowing. Her heart hurts too much. The thought of loving Mina and Mina loving her back only for it to not work out in the end has reminded her of her entire relationship with Jennie. How can she bear it? How can she bear to give her everything when there's nothing left to give? How can she bear to give her heart away when all that remains are its pieces? 

It wasn't supposed to be like _ this. _She needed a date for the wedding. She needed to prove to everybody and most especially Jennie that she was over her. She needed to follow through the plan and pretend that she was okay. But now, she's not. She can't pretend anymore. Because her stupid treacherous heart has fallen in love all over again, apparently not having learned its lesson the first time around. 

She knows she's stubborn and stupid but she doesn't realize she could be _ this _stubborn and stupid. 

"Nayeon," somebody calls from behind.

Nayeon closes her eyes—she knows that voice anywhere. "I don't want to talk to you," she grumbles. 

"That's not how you should greet your friends, unnie."

Nayeon scoffs, feeling sick. "You and I both know we were never friends to begin with." 

Jennie appears by her side like some kind of weed that refuses to be snipped away. Still, a part of Nayeon can't help but melt at the sight of her. They stand in silence for a few minutes before Jennie speaks again, using the same soft voice she reserved for Nayeon during intimate moments, like making love or showering together. The memories are insistent, pulling Nayeon apart by the seams. She needs to separate the past from the present. The truth from the lies. The reality from fantasy.

"You don't look too happy to see me," Jennie says, looking fondly at her. 

"I wonder why." Nayeon sniffles, wiping at her eyes. "What do you want? Why did you follow me here?" 

"Am I not allowed to check up on you?" 

Nayeon throws her a glare. "I just hope Jisoo doesn't mind," she says mockingly. 

Jennie is unfazed. "She was the one who asked me to come here," she admits, "Not just _ here _ but the wedding in general. I had no plans of seeing you again." 

The words sting. Nayeon inhales sharply, feeling like Jennie just single handedly shot her through the heart. She does her best to pretend like she isn't shattered, like her heart didn't just collapse all over again. That's the thing about Jennie—she speaks so flippantly she doesn't realize how badly her words can hurt. 

"Then why did you come if you didn't want to see me again?" she spits, hating the way her voice shakes. 

"I didn't say I didn't want to see you," Jennie whispers, stepping closer; Nayeon steps back, "I just knew that it would be hard for us to meet. Hell, it took Jisoo _ days _to convince me."

"_ Hard _ ?" All the remaining love and unresolved pain Nayeon has felt for the past year morphs into anger and resentment. It sparks a burning fire inside her chest. "Of course it's hard for _ you _, considering that you were the one who left and couldn't even be bothered to break up with me in person." 

Jennie nods, sighing. "I guess I deserve that," she says with a small frown, "I hurt you." 

Nayeon tells herself to be calm. She doesn't need to be the crazy ex-girlfriend right now. But after spending the past three days going through a rollercoaster of emotions, forgive her for being _ slightly _ unhinged. A multitude of emotions passes through her brain: sorrow at not being able to love Mina back, self-hatred for not being able to let go of her feelings for Jennie and then finally, fury directed straight at Jennie who didn't love her enough to stay. 

"_ Hurt _ me?" she repeats, scoffing, "You didn't hurt me, Jennie. You _ broke _me." 

"Nayeon—"

"No, you don't get to downplay what you did to me," she snaps, turning to face her ex-girlfriend. She throws away all logical reasoning because as what Chaeyoung said in her vows earlier, love is one of the most illogical things in the world. Despite preparing so hard to keep a cool facade in front of everybody and most especially Jennie, Nayeon lets herself _ go. _

"You _ left _ me," she continues, voice filled with venom as she glares at Jennie, who meets her gaze head-on, "I gave you everything! Since the day we met until the day we broke up—I never stopped giving you everything. When I started courting you, you told me that you wanted to see how far I was willing to go just to be your girlfriend. Di—di—didn't— _ don't _you see, Jennie?" Tears stream from her eyes, hot against her cheeks. "I would've burned down the world for you." 

Jennie's expression shifts. "I know," she mutters quietly, "That's what scared me, Nayeon." 

Nayeon stops, tilting her head to the side. "You, _ scared _?" she repeats incredulously, "You're never scared of anything." 

"I was scared of you," Jennie confesses, running her fingers through her hair and looking near tears, "I was scared of what you were willing to do for me." 

"Why?" Her voice cracks. 

For the first time since they saw each other, Nayeon glimpses the pain and guilt Jennie's been trying to hide away. She's always been better at hiding her emotions. It was one of the few things Nayeon had difficulty cracking about Jennie when they first met. 

"Because," Jennie begins, biting her lower lip, "I didn't know if I was willing to do the same for you." 

When Nayeon read Jennie's last message to her the night they broke up, it felt like her entire world shattered into a million pieces. Like she'd been hit by an armoured truck and run over by a dozen cars. Like the world had dropped her off the edge of a cliff and laughed as she fell to her death. She feels this again now when she hears Jennie's confession to her. Nothing hurts more than doing everything for someone and realizing they'd never do the same for you. 

"Oh." Nayeon can't help but laugh bitterly. "Of course. I should've known." 

"I'm sorry." Jennie blinks, letting out a heavy sigh. “I really am.”

"Is that why you followed me here? Why you decided to attend the wedding, even though you didn't want to see me?" Nayeon looks away, wrapping her arms around herself and staring into the sea. "Because you wanted to break my heart all over again? Congratulations, you did it!" Another weak, broken laugh escapes past her lips. She feels fucking pathetic. 

"You know I'm not that heartless," Jennie tells her, tone fierce.

"Really?" Nayeon shoots her a look. "Because I thought I knew you—I trusted that you wouldn't break my heart. Look at how that turned out." 

Jennie flinches, Nayeon apparently hitting a nerve. Behind them, the party continues. It's kind of ironic—her friends are celebrating new relationships and fresh beginnings while Nayeon is going through the pain and heartbreak of her old one. 

"Nayeon." Jennie steps forward again. "The reason why I came to this wedding is because I wanted to talk to you." 

"Couldn't have sent a text, like last time?" 

"Don't make this harder than it has to be," Jennie insists, voice cracking at the edges, "I know I hurt you badly. I know you never want to see me again. I know that you're happy with somebody else." 

Nayeon thinks of Mina and feels a hundred times worse. 

"But I also know that we _ both _ need to talk," Jennie continues, a tremble in her voice. She reaches out and places a warm hand on Nayeon's arm, holding her steady and rooting her to the ground in case she wants to leave. 

"What's there to talk about?" Nayeon snaps again, her defenses coming back up.

"_ Us _," Jennie answers, her stare unflinching, "Because not a day goes by where I don't regret the way I handled our break-up."

"You should've thought of that first before dumping me over a fucking text message," Nayeon says lowly, eyes narrowed. She breaks free from Jennie's hold and steps back a few more steps. 

"That's why I'm here," Jennie continues, following after her, "Don't you think our relationship deserves a closure?" 

_ Closure? The fucking audacity. _

"You're such an asshole, Jennie!" Nayeon nearly yells, voice rising in volume as more tears spill from her eyes, "You've _ always _ been an asshole—you made me run after you for two fucking years, you shut me out and argued with me for _ weeks _ when things started getting rough, you never made any effort to get close with my friends, you used sex as a way to stop our fights, you dumped for someone you just met and _ now _you think it's the right time to get closure?" 

She wipes at her eyes, hating the fact that she just can't stop _ crying. _Her head feels heavy, like her thoughts are going to burst out of her brain any second. Jennie has her hands raised up, trying to get near her but knowing she'll get hurt if she does. She takes the words thrown at her with a locked jaw. Nayeon knows that it kills her to be accused like this but she doesn’t say anything. 

"Did you, for once, think about what _ I _ was going through?" Nayeon demands, stomping her foot on the ground, "Did you even _ care _about me at all?" 

"Of course I did!" Jennie’s answer is quick, certain. Like it’s the truth.

It punches Nayeon on the throat. 

_ Lies. _

"Did you even _ love _me?" Nayeon asks again, her voice hitching. 

Jennie's eyes soften. "Of course I did," she whispers and the past tense does not go unnoticed, "You can accuse me for a lot of things—I can take them—but don't you dare think that I didn't love you."

Nayeon closes her eyes. "You don't hurt the ones you love," she grumbles weakly. Jennie's admission feels like a thorn to her heart. 

"You and I both know that's not true. Sometimes, we don't have a choice." Jennie sighs again, dropping her hands. "I did love you, Nayeon. Our relationship meant a lot to me."

_ Not the same way it meant to _me, Nayeon thinks.

"Can you tell me something then?" she asks, suddenly exhausted. 

"Go ahead." 

Nayeon wants to ask so many things but she knows that the answers she’ll receive will only break her even more. So she settles for the one that can provide some semblance of comfort. She clears her throat and turns to her ex-girlfriend. 

"Was it because of me?" she asks, tone small and quiet. She doesn't voice out the full question—_ did we break up because of me? Because I wasn't enough? Because I lack something that Jisoo has? _

Immediately, Jennie understands. She shakes her head and smiles sadly. "No," she answers, "it was never because of you. You were enough for me, Nayeon. But there are just some things that don't work, okay? And we were one of them."

Nayeon closes her eyes. Jennie's statement is a double-edged sword—capable of healing the open wound in her heart but also letting her know that in another world, they could've ended up together. In another world, Jennie would've stayed. In another world, Nayeon wouldn't have had her heart broken. 

“Hey.” Jennie sounds closer now. When Nayeon opens her eyes, she finds her ex-girlfriend standing in front of her, giving her a sad but determined look. “I’m sorry… for everything.”

It won’t fix all the pain Nayeon has gone through but it’s a start. 

“It was my fault,” Jennie continues slowly, treading cautiously into dangerous territory, “When things started getting rough between us, I didn’t want to fix it. I wanted to run away. I gave up on us. The reason why I couldn’t break up with you in person was because I didn’t think I could handle seeing the look on your face.” 

She and Nayeon stare at each other. 

“The look you’re wearing right now,” Jennie adds and she turns away. “How could I bear to face someone who loved me with all her heart? How could I look her in the eye and tell her that I was leaving? I’ve never been that brave, Nayeon, and I’m sorry for that. I was selfish and scared and you didn’t deserve that.”

It stings. It aches. It burns. 

Nayeon hates herself. She hates herself because for some reason, she just can’t hate Jennie. Even until now, she _ understands. _ So she closes her eyes and grits her teeth, trying to gather some leftover strength. She needs to retain whatever pride she has left. Crying and yelling at her ex-girlfriend aren’t doing wonders for her image right now. 

She looks at Jennie. “Okay,” she says, nodding, “I’ll accept this closure.” 

Her ex-girlfriend gives her another sad, bitter smile. “We both need this,” she says, glancing at the tent behind them, “We can’t move on with the ones we love if we’re still stuck.”

Nayeon shouldn’t ask—it’s only going to hurt her.

Her brain decides otherwise. 

“Are you happy?” she whispers and she feels so fucking pitiful. The question bleeds her dry.

Jennie pauses. “Yes,” she says after a moment, “I am. Are you?” 

At once, Mina’s gummy smile crosses her thoughts. She _ could _be happy if she wanted to. All she has to do is let go of Jennie, her insecurities, her pain, and be willing to accept that she deserves happiness too. One failed relationship doesn’t define her. Just because one person left her for the first time doesn’t mean it’ll happen again. 

She looks at Jennie and doesn’t answer. 

…

(Mina tries not to fall apart, after she watches Nayeon run away, after she sees someone else going after her, after she realizes the real reason why she’s here—

Because she’s not Jennie.

_ Do you still love her _? she once asked Nayeon.

_ I do _ , Nayeon answered, _ I still do _.

Maybe she never stood a chance from the beginning.) 

... 

Nayeon drinks. 

After walking away from Jennie and returning to the party, the first place she goes to is the open bar. She doesn’t try to find Mina because she knows that if she does, she’ll just end up doing something stupid. Her thoughts are a confusing mess, stitched haphazardly in an effort to keep them from spilling all over the place. Her conversation with Jennie keeps coming back, over and over again, reminding her of what she’s lost and what she gave up. She desperately tries to push them away but they continue to pull her in, drowning her, reminding her that she’s worthless, that she wasn’t enough. 

_ Don't you dare think that I didn't love you _, Jennie said.

“But you still left,” she says out loud. 

_ There are just some things that don’t work, okay? And we were one of them _. 

“No, you bitch,” she mutters, taking another shot, “you just gave up.” 

_ I was selfish and scared and you didn’t deserve that. _

“Fuck you.” She curls her hand around the shot glass, wanting to throw it at the nearest person. The bartender not so subtly backs away. “Fuck you, Jennie,” she repeats, losing all the fight in her.

The after party is so _ loud _. Some of the guests have already retreated to their rooms while the others are still dancing or talking with each other. The music makes her head pound painfully behind her eyelids. She doesn’t see any of her friends or maybe it’s because her eyes are too blurred with tears to even see clearly. There are some people she recognizes that walk up to the bar to grab some drinks but she keeps her head down to avoid being recognized. She doesn’t think she wants anybody to see her bloodshot eyes. 

It usually takes a while for Nayeon to get drunk. She’s always had a strong tolerance to alcohol (not as strong as Jihyo) so she doesn’t stop drinking. Every time her glass is empty, she motions for the bartender to fill it up. This goes on for the next half hour. She keeps drinking and she keeps thinking and she keeps wishing that she was anywhere else than here. 

It was a mistake to go to this wedding. It was a mistake to ask Mina to come with her. It was a mistake to think that she could pretend to be happy without Jennie. Because for a long time, she’s never been happy. Not after her ex-girlfriend left and took her heart with her. 

At least she got some closure, right? 

“Fuck closure,” she says again, her throat burning as she takes one more drink. 

…

(“Have you seen Nayeonnie?” Mina asks for the tenth time that night. She’s standing by the entrance to the mansion, heels hanging from one hand, as she prepares herself for another negative answer. She’s been trying to find Nayeon for the past two hours and her feet are starting to sore.

The girl in front of her (Mina thinks her name is Handong? One of Tzuyu's friends) looks up in surprise. “Oh, you’re the girlfriend, right? Yeah, I saw her. She’s drinking by the bar.” A pause. “She didn’t look too good.” 

Mina’s heart constricts. _ Oh no _. 

“Thank you,” she tells the girl and hurries to save the day once again.)

…

There’s a familiar hand on her arm and a voice by her ear that Nayeon easily recognizes. “Unnie?” It’s Mina, sounding tired and worried. Despite it being nearly midnight, she still came to find her. 

Guilt claws up Nayeons’ throat. She doesn’t think she can face Mina right now. “Go away,” she tries to say, “Please.” 

She doesn’t have to look to know how the words slap Mina right across the face. “Nayeon, you’re drunk. You shouldn’t be here,” the younger girl stresses. 

“Why do _ you _care?” Nayeon mutters, wanting the other girl to leave already. She wants to wallow in her pain alone, wants no other voice to fill her thoughts other than Jennie’s, wants to drown in a sea of self-deprecation and resentment. 

Because it’s nothing short of what she deserves. 

“Of course I care. I’m your girl—” Mina stops, breath hitching. 

Nayeon notices, stopping midway from raising her tenth glass to her lips. 

“I’m your friend,” Mina corrects. 

(_ That’s all I ever will be _, Mina thinks.) 

“If you’re really my friend,” Nayeon begins, taking another shot, “then leave me alone.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” 

“Because this isn’t you.” Mina gazes fiercely at her, not letting go of Nayeon’s arm.

Nayeon laughs humorlessly, her eyes flickering from Mina and then to the shot glass in her hand. She motions for the bartender to fill it up again, which he does so, a minute later. “You apparently don’t know me that well, Mina,” she mumbles, letting out a sigh, “because this _ is me _ —the stupid, desperate piece of shit who ca—ca—can’t even fucking _ move on from her stupid motherfucking ex-girlfriend _.” The last words are uttered in a rush and she quickly throws her head back to take another shot of her drink. Then she slams her glass so hard back on the table she’s surprised it doesn’t shatter on impact.

Mina is quick to grab her hand. “_ Nayeon _,” she says sternly, gesturing for the bartender to cut her off, “Come on—let’s go back to our room.” 

“No,” Nayeon whines, pulling away, “Please—can’t you just _ please _let me be?” 

Mina shakes her head, scowling. “I told you I’d look out for you,” she says, “and I’m not letting you walk around like this unsupervised. You could get hurt.” 

“Then let me be hurt.” Nayeon feels tears burning the back of her eyes as she remembers everything she and Jennie talked about earlier. “It’s better than feeling like this.” 

“Like what?” 

Nayeon’s throat clogs up. Mina is looking at her with the softest expression, despite the crease between her eyebrows. It’s a strong reminder of what Nayeon has dragged the younger girl into, a strong reminder that even though Mina didn’t know her that well, she still agreed to fake date her, a strong reminder that she’s still here, even though she doesn’t have any reason to be. 

“Like nothing makes sense anymore,” Nayeon whispers, tears spilling from her eyes. All the fight leaves her body in waves and without thinking about it, she reaches out and pulls Mina into a tight hug. 

Mina is quick to hug her back. “Hey,” she murmurs, rubbing her back, “I’m here for you.”

It’s in that moment that Nayeon feels the effect of all the alcohol she drank. The world suddenly tilts to the side and she groans against Mina’s shoulder. She closes her eyes to stop her view from spinning. Okay. She’s not that _ drunk _yet. She can still think, walk and talk like a normal person. It’s not enough to get her blackout drunk. 

“Mina-yah,” Nayeon murmurs, sighing tiredly, “I want to go home.” 

“Okay,” Mina says in return, “we’ll leave tomorrow. Let’s just get you to sleep, okay?” 

“Okay,” Nayeon mumbles back. She gets up to her feet and nearly stumbles on her heels. Mina bends down and takes them off for her. Nayeon is aware that they’re both barefoot now. 

“Better?” Mina asks, smiling gently up at her. 

Nayeon nods. She has to keep her arm around Mina’s waist to stop herself from falling over. She can’t walk in a straight line but at least she’s walking. With Mina's guidance, they start walking back to the mansion and up several flights of stairs. They're both quiet the whole time, walking slowly and carefully. If they move any faster, Nayeon might get dizzy. She also doesn't really know what she's thinking about—it's just a blur of heavy emotions she can't untangle. She's so _ tired _ . Not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. The past three days have been a whirlwind and she wants nothing more than to lie down and just _ forget _about everything. 

The alcohol isn't really making her feel any better. 

Her feet feel like they're going to fall apart the second they reach their floor. They pass by Jeongyeon and Dahyun's room. Nayeon looks at Mina, asking a silent question. 

"It's better if we find out in the morning," Mina answers, calm as ever. 

"O—okay," Nayeon says, feeling like a broken record, "Good idea." 

Mina unlocks the door to their room and places Nayeon on her bed, the one she didn't sleep on last night. It's dark. Mina turns on the bedside lamp instead of the overhead lights, mindful of Nayeon’s state. Then she rummages around her bag to pull out some pills and a bottled water, setting them next to Nayeon. "I'm going to shower," the younger girl says, "I'll be quick, I promise." 

"Okay." Nayeon takes the pills and wraps her arms around herself, sighing. She wants to sleep. She wants to cry. She wants to find Jennie and slap her across the face. She wants to cry on Mina's shoulder.

Everything is so _ confusing. _

True to her word, Mina finishes quickly. She emerges from the bathroom with her hair wet, wearing a white cotton shirt and some pink shorts. Nayeon can't look away even when Mina blushes and takes a step towards her. “We need to get you out of that dress,” the younger girl says, avoiding her gaze.

Nayeon nods again. “Okay,” she whispers, taking off the flower crown she forgot she was even wearing in the first place. Then she rises to her feet, turning around so that Mina can unzip her dress. She doesn’t feel so drunk anymore. Maybe it’s the pills. Maybe it’s the fact that it takes an hour for the alcohol to _ really _kick in. Or maybe it’s because Mina is standing behind her, breathing unsteadily as her fingers come up to drag the zipper down slowly and carefully. 

Nayeon is holding her breath. Her skin feels warm and it’s not because of the alcohol she’s consumed tonight. No, it’s because of Mina—Mina whose breath hitches when the dress slip off Nayeon’s shoulders, whose fingers leaving burning traces on Nayeon’s skin, whose eyes remain fixed on her even as Nayeon turns around to meet her gaze head-on. 

(It feels like Nayeon is a mirage in the middle of a desert and Mina hasn’t had a drop of water in _ days _.)

Nayeon doesn’t feel so drunk anymore. Due to the darkness, it’s difficult to discern Mina’s expression so she has to take a step closer. The lamp barely gives any light but it’s enough to see that Mina is looking at her with the same look she always wears when she stands in front of the ocean. And it sets Nayeon’s heart aflame. 

When was the last time somebody looked at her like that? 

_ Since Jennie dumped her. _

“Nayeonnie,” Mina whispers, swallowing audibly, “I—I—” 

“You promised you’d be here for me, right?” Nayeon interrupts, trying to keep her voice from slurring. She closes her eyes, tries not to think about the wedding or about Jennie or even about her conflicting feelings for Mina. She’s not in the right state of mind to make any lasting decisions right now but for _ once _ , she just wants to forget. She’s been _ pretending _for so long. Can’t she, for once, just give in to what she wants?

(Mina’s eyes are fixed on Nayeon’s lips. It’d be so easy to just lean in and kiss her again. But she stops herself. She knows, deep down inside, that she’s not the one Nayeon wants.) 

“Yeah,” Mina answers, moving away, “I remember.” 

“Did you mean it?” 

“You know I did.” 

It’s enough—Nayeon gives in. 

Before Mina can walk away to grab her some fresh change of clothes, Nayeon’s hand shoots out and wraps around her wrist. Mina nearly stumbles, turning to look at her with wide eyes. There’s a beat. And then Nayeon pulls her in. 

“Nayeon—”

“_ Please _.” Nayeon uses her other hand to cup Mina’s face, keeping her rooted to the spot. “Don’t leave me too.” 

(Mina has never known how to say no to Nayeon.)

Nayeon kisses her. It’s just like the first time; when they were standing by the ocean. She can’t think straight anymore, not when Mina is so close, not when she can taste her, can smell her, can _ touch _ her. But this time, she can feel the warmth from Mina spreading through their lips and down to the tips of her toes. Something inside her chest clenches. Heat pools in her stomach like lava. An urge to pull Mina close— _ keep _ her close overwhelms all of Nayeon’s rational thinking and she lets go of the younger girl’s wrist to wrap her arms around her neck and angle their mouths for better access. 

Despite Mina never having kissed anyone her entire life, she seems to know what she’s doing. Her lips are soft, mouth needy, teeth nipping. She places her hands on Nayeon’s open back, slipping her fingers under the dress and running them down her skin. Nayeon groans softly, feeling the heat of Mina’s palms against the ridge of her spine. It’s like she’s being set on fire. 

“Take it off,” she murmurs against Mina’s mouth. 

Mina understands. She drags her hands up Nayeon’s back and pulls her dress down carefully. It falls and pools around Nayeon’s feet. Now she’s just wearing her bra and some garter shorts. Mina stops the kiss to stare at her, eyes tracing the shape of her body. Nayeon has always been confident in her image but she can’t help but shy away from the revenant look in Mina’s gaze. 

“Don’t,” Mina says, palming Nayeon’s cheeks and placing her forehead against hers, “you’re beautiful.” She breathes her in shakily. “You’ve always been beautiful.” 

Nayeon is drunk. She knows this because she can still taste the alcohol by the back of her throat, no matter how many times Mina will kiss her with mint-flavored lips. If she moves too quickly, she’ll feel the world tilting on its side but she feels steady with Mina’s arms wrapped around her waist. What she wants to do—it’s such a fucking bad idea. 

But she wants to forget.

And Mina promised that she’d always be there for her. 

Nayeon leans forward and captures Mina’s lips in her own, strengthened by a new fervor that threatens to overwhelm all of her thoughts. Mina kisses her back just as hungrily and desperately. Her touch leaves searing burns against Nayeon’s skin and she can’t get enough of it. The alcohol might’ve warmed her bones but it’s nothing compared to how Mina makes her feel in this moment. Like she’s the only thing worth holding onto. Like she’s the sun personified and Nayeon is a sunflower aching for warmth. 

Nayeon guides them down to the bed, pushing the younger girl against the mattress. The sight of Mina, illuminated by the soft glow of the lamp and her long hair flowing like a halo around her head, as she looks up at her with wide, unblinking eyes is enough for Nayeon to give into her desires. She crawls up to Mina, straddling her legs, and bends down to press soft kisses leading from her forehead down to her mouth, where their lips reconnect again. 

She doesn’t think she can ever get tired of kissing Mina. There’s just something about her that’s so irresistible. She’s gorgeous without even realizing it. Her smile could light up a thousand dark nights. The way she moves, the way she talks, the way she looks at Nayeon—everything about her is so gentle and soft. Nayeon wants to know what it’s like for Mina to take control for once, the same way she did when they were faced with Jennie earlier. Nayeon wants to know what it’s like when Mina goes hard and doesn’t hold herself back. 

“Mina-yah,” she whispers, pressing a soft kiss under the younger girl’s jaw.

Mina’s breath hitches. “Yeah?” 

“I want you.” Nayeon drags her lips down Mina’s jaw, biting and nipping at the soft flesh of her neck. “I want you _ now _.” 

(Something inside Mina’s brain finally _ clicks _—maybe it’s the breathy way Nayeon tells her that she wants her or the way Nayeon’s fingers are impatiently running down her sides. Whatever the cause, all she knows is that she wants Nayeon too.)

Mina flips them over so that it’s Nayeon lying with her back to the mattress. A short, surprised laugh slips past Nayeon’s lips when she feels Mina go down to press kisses against the skin of her exposed stomach. Warmth explodes in Nayeon’s navel from every touch she feels and she has to squeeze her eyes shut to stop the world from spinning. Because it should be _ illegal _for Mina to make her feel this good when she’s not even in the right state of mind.

_ Make me forget _ , she thinks to herself, _ make me forget, make me forget _. 

(_ Love me, _ Mina desperately screams in her brain, _ love me, love me, love me. _)

Nayeon sits up suddenly, nearly knocking her head with Mina’s, and the world tilts to the side for a good few seconds before she realizes why she sat up in the first place. Mina looks at her in confusion before she realizes that Nayeon is tugging at the hem of her shirt. “Off,” the older girl grunts impatiently. 

Nayeon doesn’t wait for a response before she’s quickly dragging Mina’s shirt up and throwing it to the corner of the room. When she sees Mina’s long dark hair spilling down in waves and covering the purple bra she’s wearing, a part of Nayeon’s brain actually malfunctions. Her mouth goes dry. She needs a tall glass of water and Mina just happens to be the closest one. 

“You—” she tries to say, trying to come up with a witty response, “you’re so—you’re so—”

Mina laughs breathlessly, leaning closer. “No talking,” she murmurs and reconnects their mouths again. With Mina straddling her waist and Nayeon sitting up, they fold against one another perfectly and easily. Nayeon can feel the heat from Mina’s thighs against her own and the unsteady thrum of her heart on top of hers. It’s been such a long time since she’s kissed anybody as deeply as this, since she tried to let herself forget, since she allowed herself the raw pleasure of being connected with somebody else who wasn’t Jennie. 

When she remembers Jennie, she stops. 

_ You were enough for me, Nayeon _.

Mina notices and stops kissing her. “Are you okay?” she asks quietly. 

“Yeah,” Nayeon says too quickly, straightening her back, “I—I—I just remembered something.” 

(Mina knows what Nayeon remembered—she just doesn’t want to say it out loud.) 

“It’s nothing,” Nayeon says, bringing her hands up to trace the visible moles on Mina’s face. She knows it’s not nothing but the other girl doesn’t have to know that. 

“Are you sure?”

Nayeon nods, feeling tears sting the back of her eyes. “Yeah,” she says, the lie thick in her throat, “I’m sure.” 

(Mina hears the lie anyway.) 

Nayeon distracts herself by peppering kisses all over Mina’s chest, one hand coming up from behind to unclasp the purple bra and drop to the floor. Mina shivers, letting out a soft gasp when Nayeon uses her teeth to drag a path down her breasts. The sounds the younger girl lets out is enough to make Nayeon forget about her ex-girlfriend and the fact that she’s practically using Mina as a way to forget the conversation near the beach.

It’s a shitty thing to do.

Nayeon blames the alcohol.

Mina moves her hands to take off Nayeon’s bra as well. Her fingers are shaking. When it unclicks, Nayeon’s heart stutters loudly inside her ribcage. Is she really doing this? Her thoughts are hazy. Then she hears her own voice inside her head. _ We don’t hurt the ones we love _. 

Fucking hell—she’s such a_ hypocrite _.

She knows what she’s doing is wrong but she can’t seem to stop herself from touching Mina and kissing her breasts and running her fingers down her back. Her thoughts are full of her. She doesn’t want to stop. Besides, a part of her knows that she doesn’t deserve Mina anyway. There are certain truths that she's come to accept and she thinks of them as she leans her head back and lets Mina kiss a path from her neck and down to her breasts. 

_ I'm not over Jennie. _

Mina's teeth nips at the soft skin of her breasts and Nayeon brings a hand up to sink into the younger girl's long dark hair, her eyes fluttering shut. 

_ I'm in love with Mina. _

Mina's tongue swipes out and licks the left nipple. Her other hand comes up and squeezes the other breast experimentally. Nayeon lets out a moan, sighing in contentment and desire. Her toes curl in anticipation. The warmth in her navel grows, like a balloon that's desperate to explode. 

_ I wasn't enough for Jennie and I'll never be enough for Mina. _

Mina's name stutters from her lips when she feels teeth sinking under her breasts, leaving behind love bites and caressing them with a wet tongue afterwards. Nayeon is pushed flat against the bed and Mina grabs her hands and plants them firmly above her head. Then she continues sucking and biting at her skin, alternating from her collar, right breast, stomach. Nayeon can't think, not when she's squeezing her thighs on Mina's legs just to try to get some friction. 

_ Mina deserves better _.

Using her left hand, Mina keeps both of Nayeon's wrists planted on the bed while she directs her right one down Nayeon's side. Where her fingers pass by the sides of her stomach, goosebumps come alive. Nayeon bites back a moan when Mina's hand stop to rest on her waist, pressing firmly against her hip.

_ I don't deserve her. _

Then Mina comes up, covers Nayeon's body with her own and kisses her again. It's hot and open-mouthed. Like all Mina wants to do is swallow each gasp and sound that escapes past Nayeon's lips. Their breasts are flushed against each other, their hearts racing as one. Nayeon squirms, wanting to _ touch _ , but Mina's grip is firm. She doesn't stop kissing her and Nayeon is _ breathless. _

This is better than any alcohol she drank. 

Mina's right hand, the one still on Nayeon's hip, moves suddenly. Nayeon chokes out a gasp when she feels fingers brushing against her center—right where the warmth seems to be leading her. The only thing separating Nayeon from an endless bliss of pleasure are some garter shorts and this fact causes her brain to malfunction again. She's aware that this is Mina's first time doing something like _ this _but with the way the younger girl is staring at her now—all dark eyes, flushed cheeks and parted lips—Nayeon can't help but think that maybe she's the inexperienced one here. 

"Nayeonnie," Mina whispers, her features soft. Nayeon can't see due to the limited light but it looks like the younger girl is about to cry. 

(Mina's heart thunders loudly inside her ribcage. She needs to _ know _—she needs to do this. She can't go further if Nayeon doesn't know just how deeply her feelings run.

She needs this to be _ real. _) 

"I'm in love with you," Mina confesses, swallowing audibly, "I always have been."

(She says this, hopeful and afraid, with every ounce of her being praying that Nayeon feels the same way.)

Nayeon feels like she's just been pushed off a cliff. Her eyes widen. Her mouth drops. Something inside her chest shatters open. 

This is the worst thing in the world. 

_ You’re afraid of her being in love with you too. _

"Why are you…?" Nayeon can't form the words. Panic rises up to her throat. She quickly shakes off Mina's grip and rises to a sitting position, grabbing a blanket and pulling it up her exposed chest. "Why are you telling me this _ now _?" 

Mina's heartbroken expression is burned in the back of Nayeon's eyelids. She squeezes her eyes shut but sees it anyway. _ No no no _ , she thinks to herself, _ I don't deserve you. _

"Because I can't do this," Mina says, looking down at her hands, "not until you know how I really feel." 

"You—you—?" Nayeon inhales sharply, feeling like her entire chest is about to cave in. "You're in love with me?" 

Mina's eyes are brimming with tears. When she nods, they spill down her cheeks. "Since the day we met," she confirms, "when we shared that elevator ride." 

_ Fuck _. "That long?" Nayeon asks quietly. If she had known about Mina’s feelings, she wouldn’t have asked her to be her fake girlfriend. She wonders just how much pain and longing Mina went through just to keep her happy. 

_ See _ ? A malicious voice in the back of her mind spits at her. _ This is what people do—they hurt the ones they love. You’re no better than Jennie. _

“That long,” Mina agrees with a soft sigh, like she can’t believe too. 

Nayeon wraps her arms around her chest, shaking her head. “Mina,” she says, voice trembling, “I—I—I didn’t know.” She’s lying. A part of her—a small, hopeful part—has been starting to see that her feelings aren’t unrequited, that Mina really looks at her _ differently _ . Dahyun was right; Mina _ does _look at her like she's her everything. 

It kills Nayeon inside. 

Because she doesn’t deserve it. 

“Of course you didn’t,” Mina says with a shrug and a bitter smile, “You never looked at me that way.” 

_ No _ , Nayeon thinks, _ I have—I do. _

“I don’t know what to say,” she mutters, watching as the younger girl grabs the other blanket from the other bed to cover herself with. She feels ashamed, like she’s been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to do. “I shouldn’t have asked you to do this.” 

“It’s okay.” Mina hesitates before she inches closer. Nayeon wants to melt against her again, like she did just a few moments ago, but she just feels so _ cold _. Like she’s been doused with ice cold water. Some twisted game of the Ice Bucket Challenge. 

“It’s not okay,” Nayeon whispers, “I _ used _you.” 

“You didn’t,” Mina assures her, “Trust me, I knew what I was signing up for.”

Even until now, here is Mina, assuring her that everything is fine, that everything _ will _ be fine. Nayeon closes her eyes, fingernails digging painfully against the flesh of her arms because how can somebody be so selfless, wonderful and so goddamn _ perfect _? 

“Why did you agree to this?” she asks, somewhat accusingly, “If you had feelings for me from the start, why did you say yes?” 

Mina’s eyes, when they rise up to meet hers, are filled with affection and yearning. She smiles sadly and reaches out with her hand to trace the shape of Nayeon’s lips. “Because it’s better than nothing, Nayeonnie,” she answers, “I’d rather have you like this than not have you at all.” She drops her hand and pulls away.

“You don’t want this with me.” The older girl runs her fingers through her hair, gripping the roots as a way to keep herself grounded and watching as Mina’s eyes never leave hers. 

Her heart is soaring but not straight towards the heaven. She feels like Icarus, soaring straight into the sea after having experienced the warmth of the sun. Now it’s time to drown once again.

“Based on your reaction, I guess you didn’t know about my feelings. I thought they were obvious.” Mina doesn’t sound upset; she sounds _ worse _—hollow and broken, like Nayeon has reached out and taken all the love from her in a blink of an eye. “I’m sorry,” she adds, “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for _ anything _,” Nayeon huffs, turning away from the younger girl and heading towards her suitcase. She fishes out the first shirt she finds and slips it on. When she turns to look at Mina, she sees that she hasn’t budged from her spot. “You’ve been nothing but a good friend to me the past few weeks and I to—took advantage of that just to make my—my—my stupid motherfucking ex-girlfriend jealous.” Hot, burning tears sting the back of her eyes and she stubbornly wipes them away before they can fall. 

“I told you that it’s okay,” Mina insists, “It’s my fault—”

“Don’t you dare think that. It doesn’t work that way.” 

“_ What _works that way?” 

“_ This _ !” Nayeon is starting to panic again. She wants this but at the same time, she doesn’t. She loves Mina with every irrational part of her heart but she just _ knows _that it can’t happen between them. How can you let yourself love someone you’ve unwittingly hurt the past few weeks? How can you bear to give into someone’s love when you doesn’t deserve it in the first place? How can you offer anything when there’s nothing left? 

How can somebody so perfect be with someone who isn’t? 

Jennie’s words come back to haunt her, almost mockingly: _ I didn’t know if I was willing to do the same for you _.

“We weren’t supposed to work this way,” Nayeon explains a few seconds later, when the silence starts to get too overbearing, “We were supposed to be just two friends helping each other out. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

(Mina’s heart feels like it’s been stabbed. She shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up.)

“Is the thought of being together with me _ that _ unappealing to you, unnie?” Mina questions, rising to her feet and pulling on her discarded shirt, “Is the thought of me being in love with you so horrible that you _ can’t _even look at me right now?” 

Nayeon shakes her head vehemently. “Of course not,” she says, taking a step forward, “anybody would be stupid not to love you back.” 

“Anybody,” Mina repeats bitterly, “except you, apparently.” 

Nayeon’s throat clogs up with all the words she wants to say. _ Of course I want you _ , she thinks, _ but you deserve better _. She bites her lower lip to stop herself from saying all of this because she knows that it will only hurt them both. The alcohol she drank earlier that night comes back with a vengeance and she feels sick to the stomach. 

“Mina-yah,” she says, refusing to look at the younger girl, “Please don’t make me do this.” 

“Do it,” Mina mutters, voice suddenly harsh, “Break my heart—you’ve done it before so many times already. I’m sure you can do it again.”

“That’s not fair.” Nayeon grits her teeth, hating that she’s hurt Mina so many times already. “It’s not my fault you thought it was okay to fake date somebody you had feelings for.”

Mina shakes her head, crossing her arms. “I said it was okay,” she says, “I never said it was fair.” 

For a split second, Nayeon wonders if she should confess that she’s fallen in love with her too. The thought crosses her mind briefly but it’s enough to leave a lasting mark. She thinks about the past few weeks with Mina—the mornings spent talking over coffee and bagels, the conversations they’ve had between work, the feeling of Mina’s hand intertwined with her own, the warmth Mina’s kiss brings her every single time—and she wonders what it would be like to have all of that without worrying about an expiration date. 

But then a stronger and louder voice slaps the thought away. It sounds suspiciously like Jennie. _ I’ve met someone else. I’ve met someone else. I’ve met someone else. _Nayeon’s heart shatters all over again she remembers her conversation with her ex-girlfriend. All the self-deprecating and anxiety-filled thoughts she’s had about falling in love with somebody who could do the same thing Jennie did makes her squeeze her eyes shut and clench her hands into fists. 

Mina deserves better.

_ And that’s not me _, she thinks. 

“You don’t want to be with me, Mina-yah,” Nayeon says with a determined tilt to her voice, “I’m not worth it.” 

“You don’t get to decide who I want to be with,” Mina responds, walking over towards her. She raises her chin defiantly, eyes dark and lips set in a straight line. The only time Nayeon has seen Mina angry was when she talked to Jennie that afternoon and she realizes just how terrifying it is to be on the receiving end of that glare. 

“I’m in love with you,” Mina continues, her voice growing soft when Nayeon shakes her head again, like she can will Mina’s feelings away if she doesn’t listen; “You might think that you’re a girl who’s been broken and damaged by somebody who left her behind but you’re _ not _. You’re a strong, beautiful and sometimes downright annoying person to be with but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nayeon spits out unkindly. 

Mina reaches out and uncrosses Nayeon’s arms, taking her hands with her own. “_ Please _,” she begs, “Listen to me.” 

“Mina-yah, I—”

“The past two weeks have been hard,” Mina continues, drowning out Nayeon’s protests and squeezing her hands, “Believe me, trying to pretend that I’m not madly in love with you even though I am was one of the hardest things I had to do. Look at you, Nayeon, what’s there not to love?” 

“_ Everything _ ,” Nayeon snaps, “Don’t you get it, Mina? I’m a _ mess _ —I have a deadbeat job that I would’ve lost had it not been for you, the girl I loved with every beat of my heart dumped me for somebody else, I’m cranky and annoying on most days, I don’t talk about my feelings, I drink and do stupid things as a coping mechanism, I couldn’t even go through this wedding without somebody holding my hand because _ Jennie _ was here and—and—even _ now _, I was willing to let you fuck me just so that I can forget about what happened tonight! For God's sake, what the hell do you see in me?” 

“_ Everything _,” Mina answers without a moment’s pause, voice hard, “I see everything in you.” 

“You’re fucking stupid then.”

Mina laughs humorlessly, unfazed at being cursed at. “If that’s what it means to be in love then yes, I’m the stupidest person in the entire planet,” she agrees easily. 

"You're one of the smartest people I know," Nayeon accuses, "so forgive me if I call bullshit. You know better than to fall for someone like me." 

"Someone like you?" Mina repeats, sounding confused. 

"Yes, someone who would use you just to make her ex-girlfriend jealous." Nayeon tries to pull away but Mina's hold is firm. "Someone who would hold your hand, kiss you in front of your first love, lie to everybody around you, would _ fuck _ you, if given the chance, just to forget about her ex—why the hell would you fall for someone like that?" 

"We don't choose who we love, unnie," Mina's answer is tinged with sadness, "but if I had the choice, I'd still pick you."

Nayeon aches. Her brain is yelling at her to put an end to this, to stop Mina from confessing her feelings, to stop her own heart from actually wanting to do the same thing. She looks down at their clasped hands, trying her best to think of a way out of this, and then pushes Mina away. Not too hard but not too soft either. Mina stumbles and the look on her face is enough to haunt Nayeon for the rest of her life. 

It’s a look of complete and utter heartbreak. 

(Mina has never felt so crushed before.) 

“Stop it,” Nayeon says, locking her jaw, “stop saying these things.”

“Why not?” Mina demands quietly, “Am I not allowed to tell you how I feel?” 

“You weren’t supposed to fall in love with me.”

“But I already have.” 

Nayeon closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “It can’t work,” she says, rubbing the bridge of her nose, “It won’t work between us.” 

“Is it because you still love Jennie?” Mina asks. 

Silence. Nayeon doesn’t say anything. A part of her will always love Jennie but that’s not why she’s not taking the plunge with Mina. She knows, deep down inside, that there’s a high possibility she’ll only get hurt all over again. Mina might think that she loves Nayeon but she’ll get tired of her too. It’s happened before—it can happen again. 

Nayeon thinks back to what Dahyun told her: _ is Mina worth possibly getting your heart broken all over again? _

Now she has her answer—

“It’s not just that,” Nayeon whispers, hugging her arms, “Not everything is about Jennie.”

“Are you sure about that?” Mina chuckles dryly. “Because the only reason we’re here in the first place is because of her.”

"I told you why." 

"So, you still love her." It's not a question and Mina's voice is weary, like her love for Nayeon is a heavy weight she's been bearing for the past year. "I see." 

"Regardless if I have unresolved feelings for my ex or not," Nayeon says, the lie passing through her teeth painfully, "it still won't change anything between us." 

(Mina took a shot and missed. She wants to laugh. She wants to cry. More than anything else, she wants Nayeon to love her back. How can she ever move on from this? How can she let go of the woman who made her feel more alive than anything else? The heartbreak she feels—it's so intense that she feels paralyzed by it. 

So this is how Nayeon felt when Jennie left her. 

This is what it's like to give your all to somebody who doesn't want it.

Mina is nothing short of stubborn.)

"Jennie didn't deserve you," Mina says, looking up. 

Nayeon stills, eyes narrowing into slits. Her defenses come up again, as it always does when Jennie is mentioned. "You don't know anything between Jennie and I," she warns lowly. 

"I don't have to," Mina points out, taking another step closer. Nayeon doesn't move. 

(Even though Nayeon has said so many hurtful things in the past few minutes, Mina can't bear to leave without giving it one more chance—without trying her best to tell Nayeon just how much she deserves to be loved, even if it is by somebody as mediocre and pathetic as Mina.)

"Jennie doesn't see what _ I _see," Mina says with conviction, "and do you know what I see, Nayeonnie? I see someone who can love fearlessly and relentlessly, who thinks so highly of herself but would fight tooth and nail for her friends, who made a freaking handbook about why she's South Korea's Hot Girl in one night, who tries to pretend like she's not hurting even though she is, who pulled me out of my comfort zone and showed me what love is supposed to feel like." She takes a shaky breath, hands coming up to wrap around Nayeon's cheeks, as she presses their foreheads together. 

Nayeon inhales sharply, closing her eyes at the familiar warmth of Mina being so close. 

"I see a beautiful woman who thinks that she doesn't deserve the world even though she does," Mina whispers. 

"Mina…" Nayeon shouldn't give in—she's stronger than that, after all, but then Mina's hand moves to curl around her neck, pulling her closer. 

"Tell me it wasn't real," Mina murmurs, their lips a breath apart, "Tell me that the kisses were just practice, that the past two weeks meant nothing, that not a single cell in your body could ever love me back. Tell me all of these things and I'll let you go." 

Nayeon's heart thunders inside her ribcage. She opens her eyes and even though the room is dark, she can see the fear and longing written all over Mina's features. Despite everything that's gone down in the past hour, Mina is still here. Her guardian angel Mina, who has apparently been in love with her the past year and who won't take back down unless Nayeon tells her to. 

It was easy to fake date Mina.

It was easy because she _ wanted _it to be real. 

(Mina was never pretending in the first place.)

Nayeon wants to give in, wants to fall, wants to love Mina just as much as she loves her. Isn't this what love is supposed to be? Taking a risk? Nayeon can't remember. When she thinks about love, she thinks about Jennie. And when she thinks about Jennie, she thinks of heartbreak. 

_ Is Mina worth possibly getting your heart broken all over again? _

When Nayeon doesn't respond, Mina leans forward and kisses her. It's a searing kiss—one that takes all the air away from Nayeon's lungs and leaves a burning ache in her chest. It's desperate and painful. Nayeon can now understand what Mina is trying to tell her, what she's been trying to tell her all this time. 

(_ I love you, I love you, I love you _.)

Nayeon feels tears falling down her cheeks. _ I love you too _, she wants to say.

Mina pulls away first, her eyes wet. "Why are you so afraid of loving me back?" she asks, her voice shaking.

Here it is. 

The moment of truth. 

Mina is the ocean. 

All Nayeon has to do is jump. 

But that's the thing—Nayeon never learned how to swim.

"Because I don't," she lies, breaking Mina's heart as well as her own.

...

(Mina lets go.)

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter:
> 
> 11.15.2019
> 
> 9:00 PM PHT
> 
> Hey, I promised that I'd post the chapters but I never said that the story was finished ;)


	5. never let me go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Where Nayeon and Mina discover what it's like to be apart.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.

_And the arms of the ocean are carrying me_   
_And all this devotion was rushing out of me_   
_And the crashes are heaven for a sinner like me_   
_But the arms of the ocean delivered me_

_-_ Never Let Me Go, Florence And The Machine

...

Nayeon lets Mina go. 

She is paralyzed, her eyes fixed on the floor, as she listens to Mina moving around the room, grabbing her belongings and shoving them into her suitcase. Even though it's only been a few minutes, it feels like an eternity has passed. The loud and unsteady drumming of Nayeon's heart fills her ears, drowning out the rest of the world. It suspiciously sounds like ocean waves crashing against the shore. Mina doesn't say another word to her, silent and cold, as she continues to pack her stuff. From where warmth was, a harsh winter has taken its place. Now it feels like they are strangers. This hurts more.

Nayeon assumed that once she pushed the younger girl away, she'd feel better about herself, that it'd feel like the right choice. 

This is not the case. 

Nayeon faintly recognizes the sound of a door opening. She looks up and barely catches the glimpse of Mina's tear-streaked expression glancing at her one last time before she slips through the door. 

Mina looked back. 

Even though Nayeon broke her heart, she still looked back. 

Silence. Nayeon closes her eyes. A sickening feeling rises at the back of her throat. She suddenly remembers all the alcohol she drank tonight and it comes rushing back. Like ocean waves rising up to capsize a ship. She staggers to the bathroom, covering her mouth, and makes it to the toilet just in time for her to puke out her guts. Tears fill her eyes as she empties her stomach's content. It makes her even dizzier. She shouldn't have done this—she should 't have done _ any _of it.

Nayeon always knew that being rash and reckless would have disastrous consequences. She just didn't realize that Mina's heart would be part of the casualties. 

The look on Mina's face when Nayeon told her she didn't love her flashes behind her eyes. A sob slips past her lips as a wave of sorrow and bitterness washes over her entire being. She reaches out to flush the toilet and then leans her forehead against the cool marble. Taking deep, lungfuls of air, she asks herself if she made the right choice. Then she shakes her head and tries to convince that stupid little voice in her brain that she did. 

Mina is better off without her. 

She deserves only the best. 

Nayeon hasn't felt like that for a while now. She rubs at her eyes, wiping away the tears, and rises to her feet. The room is still dark, save for the bedside lamp. Nayeon’s gaze drops to the dress that Mina’s fingers slipped from her shoulders a while ago. She remembers every kiss, every touch, every sigh, every _ look _, and beats herself up for taking advantage of it. 

Mina is in love with her. She always has been. Ever since they met back at the company, back when Mina was only the new girl in the office, back when she was just Nayeon's guardian angel who looked out for her every single time. 

And now—?

Now, she's just gone. 

Nayeon always thought that it was just in Mina’s personality to be a literal angel. She’s never met anybody as pure and kind as her co-worker, after all. A smaller part of her brain, though, always knew that it wasn’t as simple as that. Nayeon suspected that Mina had feelings—she just forced herself to look away. 

She told herself that Mina was just good at pretending.

Turns out, she was never pretending in the first place. 

The ache returns again. It's similar to how she felt with Jennie but for some reason, it’s a different kind of pain. With Jennie, it’d been blunt and sudden, a punch to the throat from somebody she trusted. With Mina, however, the pain is _ muted _, somehow. Like the kind of suffering you’d experience from a splinter. They say the worst pain comes from the smallest wounds—ones you normally wouldn’t notice, ones that creep up on your or take you completely by surprise. If that’s the case, then the memory of Mina’s heartbroken expression is enough to be fatal. 

She sits down on the bed, stares at her hands for a few seconds before she falls back on the mattress. She doesn’t bother turning off the bedside lamp—she knows she’s not going to get any sleep anyway. And when she closes her eyes, the memory of Mina’s heartbroken expression swim through her vision. Nayeon won’t realize this now but this is the last time she’ll see Mina for a while. 

…

(Mina doesn’t know where she’s going. 

All she knows is that she has to leave. 

She drags her suitcase behind her hurriedly and clumsily as she thunders down the steps of the mansion, not even caring that she’s being loud. Her chest feels like it’s going to cave in. She can’t see through the tears in her eyes. It’s a miracle she doesn’t trip.

Everything just _ hurts _.

_ Is this how it felt, Nayeonnie _ ? she thinks to herself pathetically, _ Is this how it felt when Jennie broke your heart _? 

_ Yes _ , a voice responds, sounding suspiciously like the girl who just broke Mina’s heart, _ and I want you to feel it too _. 

_ If this is love _ , Mina thinks bitterly, _ I don’t want it anymore _.)

…

Nayeon remembers the first time Mina helped her. 

There was a problem with the photocopier machine. No matter how many times Nayeon slammed her fist against the side, it still wouldn’t print out the paperwork she needed. She was running on a deadline and her boss would kill her if she didn’t get it on the table by the end of the day. So, there she was, not so subtly panicking over an outdated machine when she heard the door to the photocopier room swinging open behind her. 

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t—” 

“Do you know how this stupid thing works?” Nayeon demanded, not even glancing over her shoulder as she once again pounded on the machine, “I’ve been here for nearly half an hour and I still can’t my stupid papers printed!”

Silence. Nayeon let out an aggravated sigh and turned around. It was the new girl. The one she shared an elevator with a week ago. She looked terrified. “Hey, you’re Mina, right?” 

The girl nodded shakily, eyes still wide. “Are you having some trouble?”

“Yeah, stupid thing refuses to cooperate.”

“Have you tried turning it on and off?” 

Nayeon shot the new girl a withering look. “Of course I did,” she grumbled, “I’m not an idiot.”

“Not saying that you are!” Mina squeaked, shaking her head hastily. She walked over to Nayeon’s side and frowned at the photocopier machine. “Oh, wait, I think I see the problem.” 

Nayeon took a step back and watched as Mina pressed a few buttons and then bent down to rearrange the paper inside. Her tongue was poking out between her teeth. She looked adorable. Nayeon had a feeling that she was going to like this new girl. “There,” Mina said and the machine whirred back to life when she turned it on again. 

“What was wrong with it?” 

“Paper jam.” 

“Oh.” So _ that’s _why it kept asking her to take out the paper. Nayeon pursed her lips in embarrassment but still managed to shoot her new co-worker a wide grin. “Thanks for the help! You’re an angel.” 

Mina grinned back and Nayeon glimpsed the sight of something shiny poking out from her smile. It looked like a silver tooth. “No problem, unnie,” she said, “If you need help, I’m always here.” 

Back in present time, Nayeon rolls over to her left side. She grips the sheets of the mattress and faintly recognizes the scent of Mina’s shampoo still clinging to the pillows. Tears leak out from her eyes. She takes a deep, steadying breath but it doesn't work because all she can think about is Mina’s silver-toothed smile, always directed at her when all Nayeon has done is break her heart over and over again. 

…

(Mina finds herself standing in the parking lot. It’s empty. She’s trying to call for a taxi but nothing seems to be showing up on her phone. Due to her frustration, she’s crying all over again. _ Stupid freaking wedding _, she thinks as she sniffs and wipes away her tears. 

She just wants to go home.

If she has to spend one more second in this place knowing that Im Nayeon doesn’t love her back, then she’s going to lose her damn mind. 

“Mina-unnie?”

Mina freezes, recognizing the voice. Oh God. She doesn’t want anybody to see her like this. She takes a deep lungful of air, pockets her phone and turns around to face Dahyun, whose wearing a hoodie with a snapback underneath. She’s holding a plastic bag from the nearest 7/11 store. 

“Dahyun-ah,” Mina says, forcing a smile, “What are you doing here?” 

“I was buying some chocopie,” Dayhun answers as she pulls one out from her bag and offers it to Mina, “Do you want one? You look like you need it.”

Mina accepts. She’s a bit hungry, after all. They stand there in silence for a few seconds with Dahyun whistling a tune and Mina biting into the dessert. It’s not as uncomfortable as she expected—Dahyun seems like the kind of person who doesn’t mind just standing in the middle of the parking lot with a near stranger. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dahyun finally asks, raising an eyebrow, “I know that we’ve only just met but if you need a listening ear—”

Mina shakes her head. “It’s okay.” 

“If you say so.” Dahyun looks at the suitcase Mina has with her. “Are you leaving early?” 

“Yeah, there’s somewhere I need to be.” _ Somewhere that doesn’t have Nayeon in it. _

Dahyun doesn’t say anything about Nayeon. Perhaps she knows. Maybe Nayeon talked about her? Mina doesn’t think she can bear to know what Nayeon could’ve said. She finishes the chocopie and shoves the wrapper into her back pocket. She’s about to say some lame excuse about waiting for her brother to pick her up when Dahyun pulls out her keys and shakes it in front of Mina’s face. 

“Do you need a ride to the train station?”

Mina understands what Dahyun is offering.

_ You don’t have to tell me anything _ , Dahyun’s gentle smile assures her, _ but I’m happy to help _.)

…

Nayeon spends the rest of the night remembering everything Mina has ever done for her.

…

(Mina spends an entire three-hour train ride trying to forget.)

…

Nayeon opens her eyes to find the sunlight peeking through the windows and setting the room in an orange haze. She sighs, knowing that today will be hell. There’s a pounding behind her eyes that has refused to leave her alone since last night. It’s almost like Mina’s absence has triggered it. She rubs the bridge of her nose and sits up on the bed. It’s Sunday. She still has work tomorrow but she feels like this hangover is going to follow her until the end of the week.

_ Work _. 

“Fuck,” she says out loud, realizing that she’s going to see Mina tomorrow at the office, “This is what you get for not thinking straight, Nayeon.”

She honestly didn’t think ahead of time. Now she’s essentially rejected Mina, her co-worker whom she’s going to have to see tomorrow morning at the office. What on earth is she supposed to do _ now _? She shakes her head, which is a bad move, because her headache worsens. Fuck. Where’s some ibuprofen when you need them?

Oh.

They’re with Mina.

A _ ping _from Nayeon’s phone interrupts her self-deprecating thoughts and she checks it. Her heart plummets down to her stomach when she realizes that it’s from Dahyun. 

**Kim Dubu 🦅 (6:52 AM)**

forgot to tell u this

**Kim Dubu 🦅 (6:54 AM)**

but i drove Mina to the train station last night

**Kim Dubu 🦅 (6:54 AM)**

What happened??

**Nayeonnie (6:57 AM):**

how was she? Was she ok?

**Kim Dubu 🦅 (6:58 AM)**

Define ok u dumb moron

**Kim Dubu 🦅 (6:58 AM)**

no she wasnt ok she barely said a word to me

**Kim Dubu 🦅 (6:59 AM)**

What the hell did u do?

Nayeon doesn’t reply. She exits her conversation with Dahyun and opens the one with Mina. She types in “_ hey where are you? Are you ok? _” but stops herself from pressing send. What right does she have to ask if Mina is okay? She’s the reason she isn’t, after all. The worry and concern at the pit of Nayeon’s stomach isn’t going to go away anytime soon but she suspects that she’ll have to live with it until Monday morning, when she sees Mina at the office. So she shuts off her phone and slips out of bed. 

There are some things she has to face.

…

(After getting two hours of sleep back at her place, Mina thinks she’s moving in slow motion. 

Nayeon, despite only having visited the apartment once, haunts every space of her home. 

Mina walks into the kitchen, trying to forget Nayeon admiring the picture of her, Sana and Momo back in high school. Mina eats breakfast in the dining room, trying to forget Nayeon complimenting her crepes and the way she makes her coffee. Mina takes a seat on the couch, trying to forget how Nayeon fell apart at the mention of her ex-girlfriend.

This is too much. 

They were never even together. Not really, anyway. 

It doesn’t hurt any less.

Mina opens her laptop and writes a letter.)

…

Coffee isn’t the same when you’re only making one for yourself. 

Nayeon keeps her head down as she tries to replicate the coffee Mina always wanted, the one she never got to perfect. She puts in sugar and hesitates on the amount of creamer to put. _ You’ve been missing a key ingredient the whole time _, Mina’s voice says in her head. Vanilla. Is there vanilla? Who the fuck puts vanilla in their coffee? Isn’t it too sweet already? Nayeon bites her lower lip. Vanilla wasn’t the only thing she was missing the whole time. She ignores the pang in her heart and grabs some bagels along the way.

The dining hall is sparse with a few older guests walking around and enjoying breakfast. She hears familiar voices from behind and slinks away to the patio outside, taking a seat on the table closely overlooking the ocean. Something in her chest tightens when she realizes that she never got to spend a proper breakfast with Mina in this place, never got to watch the sun's morning rays stream through the trees with Mina's gummy smile directed at her, never got to witness the sparkling waters reflected in Mina's eyes because she's always loved the ocean like she’s a part of it. 

Nayeon's headache has lessened but the pain in her chest has yet to subside. It's the same feeling she got during the first few weeks after Jennie broke up with her. Like something has been viciously torn from her soul. She rubs at her eyes, even though there are no tears left to shed anymore, and takes a sip of her coffee. It tastes like shit. Too sweet.

Mina would've giggled and told her that it had too much vanilla. 

Mina would've drank it anyway. 

"Funny seeing you here, unnie." 

Nayeon turns and sees Jihyo walking over towards her, a cup of coffee in hand. She is showered and well-dressed. Of course—little Miss Perfect can't be bothered to sleep in on Sundays. Nayeon was hoping for some peace and quiet but it'll have to do. She watches as Jihyo sits down in front of her, cooing at the view. 

"Where's Sana?" Nayeon asks. 

"In bed." Jihyo stares at her as some sort of a challenge. When Nayeon doesn't respond, she narrows her eyes. "I expected you to make a perverted joke." 

"My brain can't function so early." Nayeon takes a bite of her bagel, even if it doesn't taste the same without Mina eating it with her. 

"That hasn't stopped you before." Jihyo frowns, reaching out and checking her temperature. "You look like shit." 

"Hangover." 

"Where's your girlfriend then?" Jihyo leans back and sips her coffee, watching her. 

Nayeon stills, wondering what to do. Now that the wedding is over, it's time to come clean, right? She thinks about the lie she told Mina last night—the one about not loving her. The truth has always been messy but for some reason, she finds comfort in lying her way through sticky situations. Knowing that Mina loves her still hurts but it's better this way. 

It's better if Mina doesn't get mixed up with her. 

Even if it did break both their hearts. 

"She went ahead," Nayeon answers, not looking at Jihyo. The whole thing is too chaotic to deal with and she doesn't have the time and energy to do untangle her thoughts and emotions. She'll deal with that later.

Jihyo makes a soft noise of surprise. "When? Just now? Is that why you're moping?" 

"I'm not moping." 

"You are." Jihyo taps Nayeon's hand, forcing her to look at her. "I know your moping face. It makes you look ten years younger since you resemble a baby who just got her candy taken away."

"I'll take that as a compliment, Park." Nayeon tries to think fast—Jihyo is treading dangerously close to the topic she'd rather not talk about. "Is Sana okay with you leaving her in bed? I assume you two _ finally _worked things out." 

Jihyo sticks her tongue out at her, a faint blush on her cheeks. "There was nothing to work out," she says, "One of us just needed to make the first move. Besides, she's still sleeping. I'm here to grab some coffee for her."

Nayeon remembers Sana kissing Jihyo on the dance floor last night. "Bold move, if you ask me." Then she remembers Mina doing the exact same thing and feels like shit again.

"That's Sana for you." Jihyo glances at the ocean, admiring the view. "Do you remember the last time we went to the beach?"

Nayeon racks her brain, trying to remember. "It was before we graduated from college, right?" she asks. It'd been their last year before they were freed from their respective majors—Dahyun and Chaeyoung were only just starting out. It's one of Nayeon's best memories of her friends. "We were so young back then," she muses. 

"Yeah." Jihyo smiles fondly. "It hit me last night—just how much things have changed. Think about it. You've been at your company for like two years, right? Jeong's helping people out as a nurse. I'm taking on cases. Dahyun's freelancing job is getting recognition. Chaeng got _ married _ , despite being the youngest. It's just… _ wow. _" 

Nayeon tries not to think about it because if she does, then she'll remember the past four years she wasted on Jennie. Their conversation returns to her brain, like clockwork. She doesn’t think she can ever forget it._ The reason why I couldn’t break up with you in person was because I didn’t think I could handle seeing the look on your face _, her ex-girlfriend said. Nayeon understands now. She’d give anything to forget the look on Mina’s face after last night.

“It really makes you think,” Jihyo says, catching Nayeon’s attention again.

“About what?” 

Jihyo’s smile is tinged with sadness. “About how we’re not kids anymore.”

Nayeon takes a deep breath and picks apart the bagel in front of her. “Maybe not,” she says, her throat clogging, “but I’ll always look at you idiots as kids I have to take care of.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be the other way around?" Jihyo laughs when Nayeon throws a small crumb at her. “I’m kidding—you’ve always been a good unnie, Nabongs.” 

There’s a light but heavy feeling blossoming at the pit of Nayeon’s stomach as their conversation continues to run. It’s the same feeling you get when you stumble across someone you haven’t seen in a long time and realize just how much things have changed between you two. Jihyo is looking at her softly with gentle eyes, and Nayeon knows that things are going to get sappy so she takes a deep breath and braces herself for it. 

Out of their entire friend group, Jihyo is the one Nayeon can always lean on. Jeongyeon is her rock, always there to ground her and steady her. Dahyun is the one who reminds her of the good left in the world while Chaeyoung is the one who shows her that there is more to life than just working deadbeat jobs and pining after ex-girlfriends. But it’s Jihyo Nayeon turns to in the most dire of times, the one who always knows what to say, the one who promises that everything can still be fixed. 

Perhaps that’s the reason why Nayeon didn’t seek her out yesterday.

Because she knows Jihyo’s words will sting.

“Do you—” Nayeon begins, closing her eyes briefly, “Do you remember when those kids were picking on Chaeyoung back in middle school? The one whose parents you contacted with your big girl voice, even though we were only, like, thirteen?” 

“The bullies who made fun of Chaeng’s short hair?”

Nayeon nods, hating the thought of it. “I remember how _ pissed _Jeongyeon was. She was seconds away from throwing rocks at those stupid bullies. Thank God Dahyun stopped her.” 

“You would’ve ran after them,” Jihyo points out, smirking, “but Chaeyoung was too busy crying on your shoulder.” 

“I would’ve beaten them up in a heartbeat.”

“We know you would.” 

“I always think about that,” Nayeon shares, “I don’t know why. It was a shitty moment to deal with but I was happy that Chaeyoung went to us. You know her—she would’ve never told us about it. She always thinks she can handle things on her own.” 

Jihyo shakes her head, smiling at her. “You think too highly of our Changie,” she says, “which isn’t a bad thing. I just think you give yourself too little credit. Chaeyoung will always run to you in times of need, just like the rest of us would. We might technically be adults now but some things never change, unnie.”

_ Some things never change. _

Nayeon finds comfort in those words. She looks back at the ocean and desperately wishes that Mina was one of those things. But she knows there’s no point in thinking that.

“Unnie,” Jihyo says suddenly, reaching out and squeezing her hand, “do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

“Yeah. You’re saying that we’ll always be kids at heart, right?” 

Jihyo nods. “Yes,” she answers, “but it’s not just that—look, I might clown you a lot but if I had some big problem that I needed help with, you’d be the first to know. And I speak for the rest of our friends when I tell you that we all will.” 

Nayeon’s eyes prickle with tears as she laughs humorlessly. “Why, though?” she asks, “I’m a mess. I barely have my shit together.” 

Jihyo shrugs, not denying that fact. Still, her smile is as bright as the sun steadily rising into the sky. “Because you’re our unnie,” she states, “and we’ll always go to our unnie when we’re in trouble.” 

It’s too much. The fact that her friends look up to her, even after everything she’s put them through, feels like a heavy burden to bear. She remembers congratulating Dahyun and Chaeyoung for pursuing their passions while she was stuck in a corporate job. She remembers all the times Jeongyeon and Jihyo expressed their disapproval over Jennie and how Nayeon always snapped at them for thinking so. She remembers shutting herself out when Jennie broke up with her because she couldn’t stand knowing that her friends knew that it was coming and she was blind to all the signs. 

She remembers Dahyun’s words: _ Unnie, please, for once in your life, just let me take care of you _. 

“Jihyo-yah,” Nayeon whispers and the tears fall again, “I did something… _ bad _.” 

Jihyo tilts her head to the side. “Is this about Mina?” 

“Yes.”

Jihyo nods, dragging her chair closer. “I could tell,” she says, opening her arms and letting Nayeon fall into them, “The last time I saw you like this was when—”

“Jennie,” Nayeon murmurs, taking a deep breath. 

“Yeah.” Jihyo, despite never being the most affectionate person out there, presses a kiss on her forehead. “It’s okay, we’ll figure it out.” 

…

**Satang 🌸 (8:12 AM)**

Good morning mitang!!!!! do u wanna have lunch with me and jihyo later??? 🥺

**Satang 🌸 (8:14 AM)**

U can even invite nayeon along!!!! 😊😊😊

**Satang 🌸 (8:20 AM)**

Momo wants to come with she also thinks its a great idea!! 😋😋😋

**Satang 🌸 (8:34 AM)**

Mitang? Where r u?

**Satang 🌸 (8:59 AM)**

Mitang?

…

When Nayeon and Jihyo head upstairs to her room, they’re intercepted by Sana and Momo. 

_ Fuck _. 

“Where’s Mina?” Momo demands, walking up to Nayeon with a murderous expression all over her face. Thankfully, the hallways are empty, so if Momo ever decides to scream at her, there will be lesser witnesses. Nayeon straightens her back, preparing herself. 

Then Jihyo steps forward, shielding her from Momo. 

“Calm down,” the younger girl says. 

Sana has her phone in hand, desperately trying to call someone. It takes Nayeon a split second to realize that she’s trying to reach Mina. Her heart stutters. She can understand Mina leaving the venue because of her but if Mina ever shuts out Sana and Momo, even after just being reunited with them… she can’t bear the thought of it. 

“Where’s Mina?” Momo asks Nayeon again, shifting her weight from one foot to another. “We just checked your room. Her suitcase isn’t there anymore and she’s not picking up our calls.” Momo looks like she’s seconds away from tackling Nayeon, had it not been for Jihyo blocking the way. 

“She went back first,” Jihyo answers for Nayeon.

“She wouldn’t leave without telling us.”

Nayeon locks her jaw, feeling like shit. “Well, she did,” she mutters, “so deal with it, okay.” 

“What did you do?” Momo takes a step forward and Jihyo raises her hands to push her back. “Did you hurt her? What did you tell her? She wouldn’t leave so soon if it wasn’t for an emergency.” 

Sana finally gives up on calling Mina and turns to Nayeon. For the briefest of seconds, Nayeon sees the anger in the pink-haired girl’s eyes but it vanishes quickly. It still strikes fear at the very core of Nayeon’s being. Momo might look like she can take her on any second but it’s Sana’s sweet, gentle smile that disarms Nayeon.

“Unnie,” Sana says, pouting as she leans on Momo’s back, “we just want to know where Mina is! We haven’t really caught up with her after all these years so it’d be a shame if she just left and didn’t tell anyone about it.” 

Jihyo looks over her shoulder at Nayeon, asking a silent question.

“Like I said,” Nayeon starts, clenching her hands, “she went ahead.”

“Bullshit,” Momo quickly says as she narrows her eyes, “She would’ve told us.”

“Has it occurred to you that maybe Mina’s entire world doesn’t revolve around _ you _anymore?” 

Silence. Nayeon knows that what she said was below the belt but she’s sleep-deprived, hungover and heartbroken. And she just spent the past hour crying on Jihyo’s shoulder. She doesn’t need Momo ganging up on her right now, even if she does have every reason to. Momo rears back, as if she’s been slapped. Jihyo glances at Nayeon, aghast. 

“You said you wouldn’t hurt her,” Momo says quietly.

Nayeon’s heart breaks again. She looks away, ashamed, and doesn’t say another word.

“Whatever you did,” Momo spits and her voice cracks at the edges, “find a way to fix it.” Sana steps forward and wraps a hand around Momo’s wirst, pulling her away. She and Jihyo share a knowing look. They both nod. 

Jihyo pats Nayeon’s arm. “Come on,” she says, “let’s find Jeong.” She glances at Sana over her shoulder. “I’ll see you for lunch, Sana-yah.” 

“Looking forward to it,” Sana replies, winking. Then the two pairs walk away from each other with Nayeon and Jihyo heading back to the former’s room and Sana and Momo walking down the stairs. 

Nayeon wraps her arms around herself. “I deserve that,” she mutters, gritting her teeth.

“No, you don’t,” Jihyo tells her fiercely, “Nobody deserves to be kicked down at their lowest.” 

The older girl lets out a dry laugh. “Right.” She doesn’t believe it. Momo’s words sting. _ You said you wouldn’t hurt her _. Hurting Mina was the last thing Nayeon ever wanted and yet she did it anyway. And for what? Because she was too scared to dive in? Because she didn’t want to get hurt? So she ended up hurting the one person who would’ve done everything for her and more? 

Mina is not Jennie.

She never was. 

That should be a good thing, right? 

“What do you want to do for the rest of the day?” Jihyo asks, pushing the door to her room open. 

Nayeon shrugs. She hasn’t thought of anything past the wedding. “I don’t know,” she answers honestly, “I assumed that Mina would still be here by now.” 

Jihyo sighs with sympathy. “Well,” she says, “you _ are _home. When was the last time you saw your parents?” 

“Last month.” 

“Wouldn’t hurt to see them and Kookeu again, right?” 

Something in her chest tightens again. She remembers how Mina remembered her dog’s name, especially since it was one of the first few things Nayeon wrote in her stupid handbook. Why didn’t she see it then? Mina agreeing to be her pretend girlfriend, diligently learning everything about her, kissing her even though there was nobody around—those were all the signs Nayeon saw and ignored. All because she somehow convinced herself that they didn’t exist in the first place, all because she was afraid that love meant pain. Despite thinking that Jennie and Mina are like two sides of the same coin, Nayeon knows just how different they are. Where Jennie is harsh, confident and wild—Mina is the complete opposite: soft, gentle and sweet. 

Nayeon feels like Icarus. She soars the heavens, loving freely and carelessly. Then she seeks to be close to the sun—_ Jennie _ . And when Nayeon is at the peak of her happiness, the sun melts her wings and causes her to fall onto the ocean underneath— _ Mina _ . The ocean overwhelms her, surrounds her, _ drowns _her. And Nayeon is drifting underneath the surface, doomed to never rise again.

If only she knew how to swim.

If only she tried hard enough. 

If only she was braver than this. 

“Nayeonnie?”

“Okay,” Nayeon responds, nodding at whatever Jihyo is saying, “I’m okay.”

…

(Mina ignores the stream of text messages and voicemails Momo and Sana leave behind.

Instead, she boots up her favorite game on her laptop and plays a few rounds. 

She dies every single time.) 

...

“You're going somewhere?" Jeongyeon asks groggily when Nayeon drops by her room to tell her about her plans. Her best friend is undoubtedly hungover in her bed, barely even dressed under the covers. Judging from her tousled hair and bleary eyes, she must’ve had one hell of a night. Nayeon bites back any comments regarding Momo because she’s still mad about what happened earlier and takes a seat on Jeongyeon’s bed. 

“Yeah,” she says, throwing a bra at her best friend's face. 

Jeongyeon frowns at her, sitting up and wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. “Is there something wrong?” she questions, running her fingers through her hair, “You know you can always tell me, right?” 

“I’m just going to visit my parents,” Nayeon assures her, “If you want to head back to the city, just call me, okay? I’m your ride, after all.” 

Jeongyeon stares at her skeptically. “You being nice to me is kind of creepy. Where's the real Nabongs?"

“Shut the fuck up.”

“There she is.” 

Nayeon sighs, rolling her shoulders. “I just dropped by to tell you that.” 

Jeongyeon's smile vanishes a second later. “Has anybody told you that you look like shit?”

“Have you looked at yourself in the mirror today?”

Jeongyeon shrugs. “I always look like shit,” she says, “It’s nothing new. But you, on the other hand, look like you’ve been through road kill. What the hell happened while I was asleep?”

Nayeon isn’t really in the mood to tell anybody else about what happened last night. When Jihyo heard about it, she was understandably mad at her for using Mina as some kind of shield against Jennie and then getting her hurt in the process. Nayeon allowed her ten minutes of a full-lecture which Jihyo put to good use. But once Jihyo finished, she sighed, looked at her in the eye and proceeded to hug her for the next half hour.

“You got drunk and slept with Momo, right?” Nayeon asks, not so subtly changing the subject, “You’re not even dressed right now. What happened to you guys doing everything backwards?” 

Her best friend scoffs. “I will have you know,” she begins, “that it doesn’t matter how you do things—if you like someone, that shouldn’t stop you from wanting to be with them.” 

Nayeon feels the statement stab at her insides. “Big words,” she says, trying not to let the bitterness in her voice show. She knows that what Jeongyeon said isn’t directly meant for her but she can’t help but feel like it’s a slap to the face. 

“Anyway, is Mina coming with you?” Jeong asks. 

“No.” The word slips past her lips quickly. “She left early.” 

“Hey, that sucks.” Jeongyeon stares at her, no doubt trying to catch her in a lie. “No wonder you look like crap.” 

Nayeon rolls her eyes, even though there is truth to the words. She’s the crappiest person to have ever lived in this entire fucking world, after all. But she’s not going to dump all of that on Jeongyeon, especially since she just woke up. So she purses her lips and slaps Jeongyeon’s bare shoulder. “Fuck off,” she says, rising to her feet, “I need to go. See you later?” 

“I’ll wait for you to finish up,” Jeongyeon says, already settling back under the covers, “There’s some things I have to do later. I mean, can you believe that I still haven’t gotten Momo’s number?” 

“You’ve slept with each other _ twice _ and you still haven’t gotten her number?” Nayeon shakes her head as she pulls the door open. “That’s fucking pathetic, Yoo.” 

“Whatever, Nabongs.” 

Before Nayeon can leave, she feels something soft hit the back of her head. She turns to find that it’s a balled up sock. She looks at Jeongyeon, about to shoot her one of her deadliest glares, but stops when she realizes that her best friend is looking at her strangely. Nayeon recognizes that expression on her face. It’s one of _ those _looks—the kind that speaks volumes without the need for a single word. 

This is the same look Jeongyeon had when she got a bad grade on a test she _ actually _studied for. This is the same look Jeongyeon had when Kookeu got so sick that she had to take him to the vet. This is the same look Jeongyeon had the day after Jennie dropped by her apartment to collect her belongings. 

The look that says _ you know that I’m always here for you, right _? 

“I know,” Nayeon says, a sob rising in her throat, “Thank you, Jeong.” 

Jeongyeon nods and leans back on her pillows. “Take your time,” she murmurs, “I’m always at your corner.” 

_ You shouldn’t be _ , Nayeon thinks to herself, clenching her fists, _ I don’t deserve it _. 

The same way she doesn’t deserve Mina. 

…

(_ Because I don’t. _

Mina shakes her head, turning the movie off. She can’t concentrate. Ever since she left Nayeon in their room, her heart has felt so heavy. But now that she’s inside the comforts of her own home, she can’t help but feel like it’s only gotten heavier the farther they are apart. With every mile that separates them is another weight to bear in her chest. It suffocates her.

She and Nayeon have spent the past two weeks together, rarely apart except for weekends and work hours. It’s not the same without her. Not talking to her, not seeing her, not _ being _with her feels like Mina’s hand has been cut off. It’s the worst kind of pain imaginable. When you know that something is missing but you just can’t do anything about it. 

_ Because I don’t _ . _ Because I don’t. Because I don’t _.

Mina presses her fingers against her eyes, feeling the onslaught of tears threatening to overwhelm her. She cried in front of Nayeon last night but after she left, not a single tear has escaped her. She was too emotionally drained to let anything out and too physically exhausted to worry about anything else than just leaving Nayeon behind. 

But now that Mina’s alone—

She lets herself cry.)

…

When Nayeon knocks on the front door to her parent’s house, she remembers a conversation she had with Mina about her family. It’d been a week into their agreement. They were having dinner at the some obscure cafe Mina suggested. The food was good though. Nayeon took pictures, pretending like they were on a real date, and uploaded them onto Instagram. She had a public account, after all. It would be weird if she didn’t have any pictures of Mina online.

“Let me see,” Mina said, palm stretched open. Nayeon handed her the phone. "Can I scroll through the other pictures?" 

“Yeah, go ahead." Nayeon watched as Mina's smile grew at all the pictures Nayeon posted. It was a mixture of selfies, cafe pictures, some throwback photos for her and her friends, even a couple shots of Kookeu. Nayeon leaned forward when Mina tilted her head to the side, her smile growing fonder. “See something you like?” 

Mina turned the phone towards her. She was looking at an old post—a picture of Nayeon and her parents on the day she graduated from college. Nayeon’s bunny smile was visible under all the tears she shed that day. “You look like your mom,” Mina said. 

“I would hope so?” 

“But you have your dad’s smile.” Mina was looking at her strangely, eyes sparkling. “Not the bunny teeth, though. That’s all you.” 

Nayeon pursed her lips. “I’ve always thought of wearing braces,” she shared with an uncertain tone, “because I used to get made fun of when I was in middle school.”

Mina shook her head. “I’m glad you didn’t,” she said, “You look cute.” 

Warmth exploded in Nayeon’s chest as she grinned, letting her bunny teeth show. “Thanks, girlfriend,” she said, winking, “I really appreciate that.” 

Mina blushed at the intensity of Nayeon’s stare and turned back to the phone. “What do your parents do, by the way?” she asked, clearly trying to change the topic. 

It was so adorable and Nayeon couldn’t help but giggle. Still, she leaned back in her seat to give Mina some space. They were still getting to know each other, after all. Even though they already agreed on a few things, she didn’t want to overwhelm Mina. “My parents worked at this agricultural company for a really long time,” she said, “but they’re retired now. If you want, maybe we can visit them after the wedding?” 

“Are you asking me to meet your parents, Im Nayeon?” Mina’s gummy grin was playful and Nayeon couldn’t help but be awed at the comfortability they both share with each other. Despite only getting to know each other since last week, she couldn’t help but feel like Mina has become one of her closest friends. 

Because that’s what they were, after all.

Friends

_ Friends pretending to date each other just so that I can get back at my ex _, Nayeon thought glumly. Still, Mina knew that. That’s what they agreed on, after all.

“Well,” Nayeon said, leaning forward, “if your family was here, would you let me meet them?” 

Mina pretended to think about it, even though her smile was an answer in itself already. “Yeah,” she said a moment later, “that’d be nice. I bet you’d make my parents laugh.” 

“Do they not laugh on a daily basis?” 

“Of course they do—they’re not robots.” Mina shrugged. “But they work at a hospital so they’re always busy. My brother and I don’t see them that often.”

"Well, that's just a shame." Nayeon didn’t understand that—her parents had always been there for her. Perhaps it was one of the perks of being an only child. “Are you close with your brother?” 

Mina shrugged. “He’s a few years older but yeah, we’re close. We bond over video games a lot.”

“That’s good!” Nayeon thought of a younger Mina, laughing over Super Mario Kart, and couldn’t help but smile. “If we ever meet up with your brother, maybe we can play some games.”

“You don’t look like the type of person to play video games,” Mina casually said, quirking an eyebrow. 

“How hard can it be?” Nayeon remembered all the times her friends would head over to the arcade after every class back in high school, how Chaeyoung would whine and pout everytime Jeongyeon beat her at something and how Jihyo looked like she’d kill Dahyun every time they were paired up and they kept losing. Nayeon was always the spectator, mostly because she spent her time flirting with the kids watching over the machines. 

“You should be aware that I have this entire conversation memorized in my brain, right?” Mina was holding back her giggles, eyes crinkled around the corners. “I can’t wait for the day we play video games and I shamelessly beat your ass. Then I get to look back to this moment right now and laugh about it.”

Nayeon scoffed, putting a hand to her chest. “Just so you know,” she said, “I can be _ very _competitive if I put my mind on things, Ms. Myoui.” 

“I’ll look forward to seeing it, Ms. Im.” 

It was comfortable. It was easy. Being friends with Mina never needed much effort. Sometimes, Nayeon even forgot that they were only doing this because of Jennie. Sometimes, when Nayeon did stupid pretend girlfriend things, she forgot that it was supposed to be fake. But there was one thing that she never forgot that day—

And it was Mina’s eye smile. 

And now, standing in front of her parent’s house with her heart in pieces once again, Nayeon can’t help but let a few tears leak from her eyes when she remembers promising to bring Mina here. She can’t help but let a sob rise in the back of her throat when she remembers Mina’s teasing tone as she said _ are you asking me to meet your parents, Im Nayeon _? She can’t help but fall into her mother’s arms when the door finally swings open and she remembers Mina’s eye smile all over again. 

“Nayeon—”

“Hi,” Nayeon mumbles against her mother’s shoulder, tears streaming down her cheeks, “I’m home.” 

…

(Mina’s never been brave when it comes to love.

When she liked Momo all those years ago, she never made a move about it. She always thought Sana was a better match for her. They’ve known each other for longer, after all. She was just the third-wheel to their friendship. She was used to it.

Even after Sana told her that she only thought of Momo like a sister, Mina never said anything. Even after Momo started showing signs that she liked her back, Mina never did anything. Even after Momo kissed her on the cheek the day she left for South Korea, Mina never took the chance.

But she took a chance with Nayeon.

A part of her thought that Nayeon loved her back. 

But now, she’s sitting alone in her apartment, feeling like she’s been bled dry, and she remembers why she was never brave in the first place.There are certain things you needed to sacrifice. In order to be brave, you needed to be ready to lose everything in return. 

Now she has.)

…

Nayeon spends the rest of the afternoon holed up in her childhood room and crying on her mother’s shoulder. She doesn’t tell her any details, just tells her that she got her heart broken _ again _ . Even though it was her own stupid fault. Her mother doesn’t ask any questions, even though it’s obvious she wants to. Her father is still out doing some errands, which Nayeon is grateful for. She doesn’t think she can handle any worrying looks from _ both _her parents.

Then Nayeon asks for some space and her mother leaves the room, another concerned glance sent her way before she shuts the door. It’s quiet. Nayeon looks around the place, seeing pictures of her friends, some medals and trophies on the walls, high school books and papers she never had the time to throw away. Nothing seems to have changed. 

A whining from outside her room interrupts her thoughts. Nayeon smiles to herself, standing up and opening the door. Kookeu pokes his head in, sniffing the air. She kneels down, opening her arms, and her beloved pet immediately curls into her embrace.

_ Nayeonnie _ , she hears Mina’s voice in her head. In her mind’s eye, she remembers the dog cafe where they met up with Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, remembers Mina pointing at a Pomeranian puppy, remembers Mina’s shy grin directed at her as she said, _ it looks just like Kookeu _. 

…

**Momoring 🍑 (5:34 PM)**

Mina-chan? pls answer our calls and texts

**Momoring 🍑 (5:35 PM)**

Its been a whole day :’(

**Momoring 🍑 (5:45 PM)**

We’re worried about u :(((

**Minari 🐧 (6:01 PM)**

I’m okay. I’m home. 

**Momoring 🍑 (6:05 PM)**

[_ You have one missed call _]

**Minari 🐧 (6:06 PM)**

Please don’t call me. I promise that I’m okay.

**Momoring 🍑 (6:07 PM)**

what did nayeon do?

**Minari 🐧 (6:15 PM)**

Nothing. 

**Momoring 🍑 (6:15 PM)**

Minari dont lie to me i saw her earlier

**Minari 🐧 (6:18 PM)**

How was she?

**Momoring 🍑 (6:19 PM)**

she looked like crap

**Momoring 🍑 (6:19 PM)**

she said that u went home

**Momoring 🍑 (6:20 PM)**

But didnt say why

**Momoring 🍑 (6:21 PM)**

What did she do to you minari?

**Minari 🐧 (6:29 PM)**

Nothing, Momo. It was all me. 

**Minari 🐧 (6:29 PM)**

I got my hopes up.

**Minari 🐧 (6:30 PM)**

I broke my own stupid heart. 

…

There’s a knock on the door. Nayeon raises her head from her pillow, grins when Kookeu leans over to lick at her chin and then clears her throat to say a soft “come in” to whoever is outside. 

Her father’s bright smile greets her. “Hi, kiddo,” he says and Nayeon quickly slides from her bed to give him a hug. Kookeu barks behind them, obviously displeased at being ignored. The father and daughter duo both laugh at this. When Nayeon leans back, her father is looking at her carefully. 

“Do you want to eat out?” he asks.

Nayeon understands the offer. Her throat closes up as she remembers the last time she went there. It’ll hurt to come back but she thinks she can handle it with her dad next to her. 

“Okay,” she answers, nodding, “but can you drive?” 

Her dad laughs, draping an arm across her shoulders. “Of course, bunny.” 

It’s already dark out by the time they leave the house and drive over to the noodle place near the coast. Nayeon’s heart squeezes on itself when she remembers driving Mina to the same spot. It’d been a split-second decision. She was so grateful for everything Mina had done for her. She wanted to show her someplace special but now she’s starting to regret that decision. Because as she slips out of the car and gets hit with the smell of the ocean, all she can think about is Mina.

Mina getting teary-eyed due to the spiciness of the noodles. 

Mina holding her hand as they stepped foot into the ocean. 

Mina telling her that some things are better left in the past. 

She and her father order the usual—the same thing Nayeon ordered for her and Mina. Spicy beef and sesame noodle soup with iced lemonade on the side. They don’t talk much as they eat. They enjoy the silence and each other’s company. Her father laughs when Nayeon nearly chokes on a piece of meat, thumping her on the back and handing her a glass of water. 

Nayeon thinks back to what Mina said before: _ you have your dad’s smile _. 

Great. 

Now she can’t even enjoy a night out with her father without thinking about Mina. 

_ This is your own damn fault _ , a voice in her head tells her fiercely, _ you could’ve been with her but you were just too much of a coward _. Sometimes, she wishes Mina had gotten mad at her last night. It would’ve been easier to handle. Because at least, Nayeon could try and justify her actions. But instead, Nayeon is left with the memory of Mina leaving their room in the middle of the night, tear-stained expression haunting her. 

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Her father asks after they finish eating. 

Nayeon nods, letting herself be pulled up to her feet. She and her father take off their slippers and walk to the edges of the shore. The water is cold. It overwhelms her. She stares at the line where the sky meets the sea, remembering the last time she was here and the conversation she shared with Mina.

_ They say that the person you think of when you’re standing in front of the ocean, that’s the person you’re in love with. _

_ I heard. _

_ Is there somebody you have in mind? _

She thinks of Mina—the same way she used to think of Jennie.

“Dad?” Nayeon squeaks out, hating the vulnerability in her voice, “Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure, kiddo.”

“When you met mom,” she begins uncertainly, “how did you know that you were going to marry her one day?” 

Her father tilts his head to the side, thinking. “I didn’t,” he answers. 

“You… _ didn’t _?” Nayeon frowns at this. When she was with Jennie, Nayeon knew she wanted to marry her a few years down the road. Even when things got rough, she never wanted to give up. That’s how much she loved her. She was willing to give her everything, do everything and be everything for her. The two years spent courting her would’ve been worth it. The two years being together would’ve led to a wonderful marriage with somebody Nayeon truly and desperately loved with all of her heart.

She can’t help but laugh bitterly at this now. 

“I didn’t,” her father responds, “When I met your mother for the first time, we were just friends. There wasn’t a sign from the universe telling me to be with her. There was no love-at-first-sight shenanigans that you kids seem to be relying on nowadays.” 

“Then how did you guys get together?” 

“We just did.” Her father smiles. “One day, we looked at each other and decided ‘why not?’ and it’s still the best decision we’ve ever made.” He reaches over and pats her head. “Now we have you to worry about.” 

“Gee, thanks?” 

“What’s on your mind, bunny? What’s with all the questions?” 

Nayeon sighs, wrapping her arms around herself. “There’s this girl,” she starts, closing her eyes and thinking of Mina’s smile, “I met her a year ago but we only got close a few weeks back.”

“There’s always a girl,” her father muses, reaching over and side-hugging her, “Is she special?”

“She is, yes.”

“Does she love you?” 

Nayeon bites her lip, remembering the way Mina looked at her after they kissed and the raw anguish in her eyes when she confessed that she was in love with Nayeon. “Yes,” she answers. 

“Do you love her?” 

Nayeon’s breath catches in her throat as she nods slowly. She thinks back to Mina’s words last night—_ why are you so afraid of loving me back _? She hates the way she handled the situation, hates the way her heart still shakes at the thought of those words, hates the way the lie left her tongue so easily it almost sounded like the truth. Nayeon can practically taste blood with the way she’s biting her lower lip so hard. She opens her eyes and looks at her father who nods at her encouragingly. 

“Yes,” she answers, lower lip wobbling, “I do.” 

She wishes she said this to Mina instead. 

Her father nods. “That’s all you need then,” he says, “You don’t need anything else. As long as you love her and she loves you back, that’s all that matters.” 

“But what if I don’t deserve her?” 

Nayeon feels her father press a kiss on her forehead. “That’s up to her to decide, don’t you think?” he murmurs, his embrace comforting. 

She wishes it was that easy. 

…

(Against her better judgement, Mina takes a look at Nayeon’s Instagram account. 

She sees the pictures Nayeon took over the past two weeks—their daily coffee orders with bagels on the side, some mirror selfies back at the company, the food they’ve eaten for dinner and even a few stolen shots of Mina smiling at nothing in particular. It pains her. Because it _ looks _ real—it _ felt _real. Everything that happened between them was real for her.

She just doesn’t understand why Nayeon couldn’t have thought the same thing. 

She heads over to the settings option, her eyes fixed on the BLOCK option and her thumb hovering over it precariously. She hesitates, bottom lip caught between her teeth. Should she..?

_ Because I don’t _. 

Just like that—Mina loses Nayeon all over again.) 

…

Nayeon later drives back to Seoul with Jeongyeon by her side. 

“Dahyun was looking for you,” her best friend says, now seated in the passenger seat where Mina is supposed to be. Nayeon tries not to think about that, her eyes fixed firmly on the road in front of her. “She sounded really pissed about something,” Jeongyeon adds, “which is a rare thing for me to witness. Dubu is rarely mad.” 

“Well, she is now.” Nayeon avoided the rest of her friends the entire day, going as far as turning a blind eye to the stream of questions Dahyun sent her way via text. Thankfully, she didn’t tell Chaeyoung about what happened last night. Otherwise, Chaeng would be hounding on her heels too. Nayeon can't face them, especially after she lied about her relationship with Mina. She feels pathetic and stupid. All of these things happened simply because she couldn’t cope with the idea of facing Jennie and Jisoo alone.

Jeongyeon is quiet.

“Did you get Momo’s number?” Nayeon asks, hoping to change the topic. It’s nearing 9 PM. By the time they get back to Seoul, it’ll be nearly midnight. She wants to keep the entire three-hour ride peaceful. If that means talking about people that remind her of Mina, then it will have to do.

“Yeah,” Jeongyeon answers sheepishly, “I actually asked her out on a real date.”

“When?” 

“This week.”

Nayeon whistles. “Look at you,” she says with an impressed tone, “When was the last time you went on a real date again?” 

“Before medical school.”

“Tough luck.”

Jeongyeon sighs, leaning her head against the window. “I’ve kind of forgotten how to deal with girls in general,” she admits, “It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date.”

“I’m sure you’ll do good.” Nayeon drums her fingers on the wheel. “I mean—it’s not rocket science or anything.” 

Her best friend hums. “How did you do it with Mina, then?” she asks carefully, “You haven’t been on a date outside of Jennie in the past few years.” 

Nayeon purses her lips. She thinks she knows what Jeongyeon is trying to do. By asking the right questions, she thinks she’ll get Nayeon to fess up. Well, that won’t work. Nayeon is determined to keep her mouth shut about Mina. It’s bad enough that she broke down in front of Jihyo and was pitied because of it. She doesn’t think she can handle her dearest friend doing the same thing. 

She doesn’t think she can handle Jeongyeon saying ‘_ I told you so _.’ 

“We just went out for coffee and hit it off,” Nayeon explains shortly, “Like I said, Jeong, it’s not rocket science.” 

“Hmmm, if you say so.” Jeongyeon whistles. There’s silence again. “So, are you seriously going to shut yourself out again?” she questions.

Nayeon nods firmly. “That’s the plan.” 

“_ Nabongs _.” 

Nayeon barely spares Jeongyeon a glance, her eyes still fixated on the road. “I’m fine, Jeong.” 

“You don’t look fine.” 

“Excuse me, I look _ perfect _ .” _ Fake it till you make it _. Nayeon feels like she’s going to suffocate with all the lies she’s spewing out. Still, she manages to shoot a charming grin at her best friend. 

“You actually look like legit shit right now,” Jeongyeon points out, “I mean, it looks like you’ve barely even showered, your eyes are all puffy and red and didn’t you wear that shirt the other day? You never wear the same thing twice in a row—” 

“_ Okay _,” Nayeon grumbles, shaking her head, “I get it. I’m not the most presentable right now.” 

“Just tell me what’s wrong, Nayeonnie,” Jeongyeon says as she sits up straight; Nayeon stills. Jeong rarely calls her unnie. “The last time you were like this, it was because of—” 

“_ Jennie _,” Nayeon spits out the name harshly, her heart clenching inside her ribcage, “I know. You don’t have to remind me.” 

“Nayeonnie, just please—"

Nayeon slams her foot on the accelerator, increasing the speed of the car. Jeongyeon, despite wearing a seatbelt, lurches forward in her seat and smacks her forehead on the dashboard. She yelps, groaning in agony, and Nayeon slows down. She can feel all the blood rush to her ears as she continues to drive at a slower pace. Jeongyeon rubs at the bridge of her nose, scowling. They sit in tense silence for several long seconds. 

“Jeongyeon, hey—” Nayeon tries to say but her best friend waves her away, looking pissed off. “Look, I—I’m sorry. I just—I don’t want to talk about Mi—Mina or Jennie right now, okay?” 

“You could’ve just said that instead of slamming my head on this fucking piece of shit,” Jeongyeon snaps. She puts down her hand and a bruise is clearly forming in the middle of her forehead. When Nayeon doesn’t say anything else due to the shock of the past minute, her best friend points at the steering wheel and says, “Pull over.” 

“We have a three-hour car ride—”

“I _ said _,” Jeongyeon says menacingly, “pull over.”

Nayeon obliges. They’re still on the road leading towards the city so there’s not much around except for a few trees in the distance and many more miles to go. Nayeon puts the car in park, heaving a large sigh. She’s aware that her fingers are shaking. She can't hear anything else due to the pounding in her eardrums. Her chest hurts too fucking much. 

"What the hell was that?" Jeongyeon demands with a rough voice, unlocking her seatbelt so that she can face Nayeon. 

“I—I—I’m sorry, okay?” Nayeon feels hot, burning tears sting the back of her eyes. She blinks them away, hitting the steering wheel with her fists. “I just—I don’t know _ what _to feel right now.” 

“You can start by telling me what’s gotten into you,” her best friend says, not too unkindly, “because like I said before, the last time I saw you like this, it was because of your ungrateful ex.” 

Nayeon doesn’t say anything. She leans her forehead against the heel of her palm and turns to Jeongyeon, tears blurring her vision. She can see that the bruise on Jeong’s forehead is starting to turn purple. Guilt claws at her throat. She’s been messing up _ so _much lately and she doesn’t know how to feel about it. For some reason, everything she says and does just seem to hurt other people. First Mina, then Momo and now Jeongyeon. 

“I’m sorry,” she mutters, “I didn’t mean to do that.” 

Jeongyeon holds her stare for a few seconds before she sighs. “It’s fine,” she mumbles, relaxing in her seat, “I just don’t like seeing you like this.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like you’re falling apart.” A quick glance is sent Nayeon’s way. “What happened?” 

Nayeon smiles bitterly. “I thought you said I could take my time,” she recalls their conversation earlier. 

“I was planning to give you time _ and _space but then I saw that Dahyun was really upset and I knew that whatever happened while I was drunk and hungover meant bad news.” Jeongyeon shakes the fringe from her eyes and touches her bruise tentatively. She winces. “You shouldn’t ignore her texts and calls like that. She gets worried, you know,” she later adds. 

Nayeon pulls out her phone. Sure enough, there are over twenty messages and ten missed calls from Dahyun throughout the day, all asking about Mina. She should’ve known better. Dahyun is a pure soul. Even though she and Mina aren’t that close, she still _ cares _. Nayeon wonders if anything happened while Dahyun was driving Mina home, wonders if Mina even did anything that could warrant for any suspicions on her behalf. She guesses she’ll never know unless she faces them both.

The last time Dahyun was angry—Nayeon doesn’t even want to think about that. 

She sends a quick message: “_ im sorry talk to u later still driving will explain everything _ .” Not half a minute passes by before her phone vibrates with the reply: _ “she was really heartbroken, u know _.” 

Nayeon closes her eyes. The memory of Mina’s tear-streaked face crosses her mind. 

“Mina and I weren’t dating,” she tells Jeongyeon. 

“What?” 

“When I found out that Jennie was coming to the wedding with Jisoo,” she pushes on because she wants to be truthful at once, even though she knows it’s going to hurt, “I didn’t want to seem pathetic and lonely so I asked Mina to fake date me for the past three days. We... we prepared everything. She got to know me and I got to know her. It was supposed to be _ fool-proof _.” 

Nayeon laughs humorlessly, knowing that it was anything but. The plan backfired. She was supposed to feel better about her break-up but instead, she found herself in another one. Along the way, she ended up hurting somebody she’s grown to care about.

Jeongyeon stays quiet, waiting for her to continue. 

“But then she told me that she loves me,” Nayeon says, “and I realized that I love her too.” 

“Then what’s the problem?” 

“I’m…” Nayeon opens her eyes, tears leaking from them, “I’m scared, Jeongyeon-ah.” 

Silence. Jeongyeon is looking at her sadly. It’s the same look that Nayeon despises—the one that holds worry, pity and sorrow. She hates seeing it because it means that she’s getting bad again. She's spiraling out of control. She's back at square one. 

"Nayeonnie," Jeongyeon begins, reaching over and squeezing her shoulder, "I'm going to tell you something but I promise you that I say it with love and affection, okay?"

"Okay?" 

"Good." Jeong holds her stare. "You're a stupid fucking idiot." 

Nayeon scoffs, not really expecting anything else. "You don't need to tell me that." 

"What's stopping you from loving Mina?" Jeongyeon asks, pressing on when Nayeon doesn't say anything else, "If it's because of Jennie, then let me tell you something that I've been wanting to tell you since she showed up in our lives—she didn't deserve you. She never did, okay? You were just too blind to see it." 

"Jeong—" 

Her best friend raises her hand, shaking her head at her. "Let me finish," she tells her, "I know that you and Jennie had your moments. At one point in your relationship, she really did love you back. But that part is over now. She's moved on with somebody else. You deserve somebody who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. And if Mina wants to and you want her to, then you should go for it." 

Nayeon sighs, rubbing at her eyes tiredly. "It's not that easy—" 

"—and it's not that complicated," Jeongyeon cuts in gently. 

"I just don't want to get hurt again." 

"I know." 

Silence. Nayeon leans back in the driver's seat, crosses her arms and turns to look at Jeongyeon. "It doesn't matter anyway," she tells her, "I told her that I didn't feel the same way." 

Jeongyeon, once she hears this, actually slaps her forehead—the one with the large purple bruise swelling on it. She yelps in pain, cursing herself, and Nayeon can't help but laugh. It helps to lighten the mood, gentle smiles exchanged between them. Nayeon reaches across the console and lightly runs her fingers across Jeong's temple. The guilt subsides into a steady fondness when her best friend lets out another sigh, her smile fading. 

"Why on earth did you do that, Nabongs?" Jeongyeon questions exasperatedly. 

"It was safer that way." 

"You _ used _her.” Jeongyeon is understandably upset. “This is exactly what I was afraid you were going to do.”

Nayeon drops her hand, curling it into a fist. "I know," she murmurs, "and I have to see her at work tomorrow. I don't know what to do." 

Jeongyeon shakes her head furiously. "I don't agree with the choices you've made," she states, "I just wish you had told me sooner but we can't do anything about that now." 

"I'm sorry." 

Her best friend shakes her head, waving the apology away. "I understand why you did it," she goes on, "What Jennie did to you—that was fucking painful but don’t you see? You did the same thing with Mina. You couldn't handle the thought of her loving you so you pushed her away. You, of all people, should know how that feels. To give up your everything for someone only to have them reject it. It destroyed you. Now you let it happen to someone else." 

Nayeon _ knows. _ She knows this because when she told Mina she didn't feel the same way, she _ heard _Mina's heart break. When Mina offered her love, Nayeon knew and understood how scared she was. It was as if their emotions were in tune with one another's. Everything that Mina felt last night, Nayeon felt too. Because she'd been through it before—with Jennie. She knew what it was like to be in Mina's shoes and yet, she still broke her heart. 

Ever since Jennie dumped her, all she could think about was that last text message, words that her ex-girlfriend couldn’t even say to her face—the ones burned in the back of her eyelids, the ones that chip away at her self-worth, the ones she hears when she's at her lowest: _ I met someone else. _

Now Mina has her own words to think about: _ Because I don't. _

…

(Mina wants to forget. 

She just can't stop thinking about Nayeon.

Everytime she closes her eyes, all she can see is _ her. _The way she looked under the low light of their room, the way her dark eyes stared back hungrily after every kiss, the way her lower lip was caught between her bunny teeth when Mina left love bites all over her neck. She wonders what would've happened if she hadn't said a word.

It drives her crazy—

Nayeon's hands on her chest, Nayeon's breath against her ear, Nayeon's tongue playing with her own. 

Mina rolls over her bed and tries to sleep.) 

…

Nayeon doesn’t buy coffee and bagels today. 

She also doesn’t wait outside the company building. 

Instead, she clocks in fifteen minutes after her usual time and rides the elevator alone. She doesn’t check her messages with ‘Baby 💚’ and reads through some of the celebrity tabloids on the internet. When she reaches her floor, she heads straight to her table and keeps her head down the entire day. For the first time in a long while, she actually focuses on her work instead of tweeting about how much it sucks. 

She doesn’t see Mina during lunch and she’s forced to eat alone. 

When the day ends, Nayeon is actually sort of proud of herself. She hasn’t succumbed to the urge to see Mina or contact her in any way whatsoever. She understands that what she did was, at worst—unforgivable. So she’s more than willing to give Mina the time and space to absorb it. Then maybe they can go back to being friends again. _ Friends _. Of course, if Jeongyeon and the rest of the idiots ever find out what she’s doing, they’d murder her for it. Because at the end of the day, Nayeon and Mina just can’t go back to being friends after what happened between them.

_ Time heals all wounds _, Nayeon thinks to herself and laughs bitterly.

If that was the case, she should’ve been over Jennie by now.

She continues to do this for the rest of the week. Being late, doing her job, eating alone and heading straight to the bar with Jeongyeon. When she needs help with something at work, she forces herself to find the solution on her own. She doesn’t have her guardian angel anymore, after all. If that means passing in late work or having to Google ‘what does blue screen on computer mean’ four times in a row, then so be it. Mina doesn’t need to be bothered by her. Even if she is only an office away, Nayeon shouldn’t impose. 

It takes Nayeon a while to realize that the reason why she and Mina don’t see each other at the company anymore isn’t because of her newly-established routine. If that were the case, she would’ve at least glimpsed her every now and then. But things have never been easy for Nayeon. No, the reason why Nayeon doesn’t see Mina the whole week is because Mina hasn’t clocked in since Monday. 

…

(“Are you sure about this?” Sana asks Mina for the fifth time in a row. She and Momo are sitting next to her on the bench, looking both concerned and worried.

Mina nods for the fifth time. She holds her passport in one hand tightly, her eyes fixed on the planes taking flight outside. The airport lobby is full of people walking around, looking for their family and friends or just trying to find the bathroom. She spots a couple holding hands and talking in hushed tones about what to do first when they get to Hawaii. She can’t help but feel envious at how put together their lives seem. 

“How long will you be away for?” Momo questions.

“I don’t know,” Mina answers truthfully, biting her lower lip, “I’ve already sent in my resignation letter to the company. There’s nothing else keeping me here.”

_ Except Nayeon _. She doesn’t say this out loud but she suspects her two friends hear it anyway.

“I understand that it hurts to be around her,” Sana tells her, “especially after she hurt you so badly but don’t you think this is too drastic of a move? You could always just change cities.” 

“I have a friend who’s looking for an IT major,” Momo suggests, “She lives in Busan.”

Mina shakes her head. “I appreciate it, guys,” she says slowly and carefully, “but I don’t think I can stay here now. Everything just… reminds me of her.” 

The voice at the intercom calls for her flight number and Mina instinctively stands up. Her hands are shaking. The further away she is from Nayeon, the heavier her heart feels. It now feels like she’s carrying the burden of a thousand heartbreaks on her shoulders. She turns to look at her two friends, tears in her eyes. She’s only been reunited with them and here she is again—leaving for another country. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, hating how weak she is for not being able to handle heartbreak graciously.

Sana and Momo shake their heads. “Nothing to be sorry for,” the pink-haired girl whispers, engulfing her in a hug, “It was good to see you after all these years.”

Momo smiles brightly at her, even though her eyes are red around the corners. “We’ll be waiting for you, Minari,” she promises, hugging her tightly, “We’ll keep in touch.” 

Momo presses a kiss on her cheek and Mina closes her eyes, remembering. 

Oh, it’d be so easy to fall for her all over again but that ship has sailed. Now Im Nayeon owns her heart. Even after she crushed it, she still has the pieces. Mina isn’t sure if she wants it back. After a few seconds of being held, she pulls away from Momo’s embrace, gives her friends a shaky smile and drags her suitcase to the tunnel leading to her plane flight.

“Time to go home,” she tells herself, thinking of cherry blossoms.

Even if home is here in Seoul.) 

…

“Ms. Im?” Mr. Park stands by her desk, a frown on his face.

_ Oh shit _, Nayeon thinks immediately. She straightens up, trying to not so subtly exit the ASMR video she was watching on Youtube. “Yes, Mr. Park?” she asks, smiling brightly.

“You’re close with Ms. Myoui, right?” he asks. 

“Yes.” _ Close doesn’t even begin to describe it. _“Is there something wrong?”

“Oh, nothing really. She was such a good addition to the team. It’s a shame that she resigned so soon. Did she inform you of her decision beforehand?” 

Mr. Park’s words are easy enough to comprehend but for some reason, it takes a while for the information to sink in. _ Resigned _. Mina resigned. No wonder Nayeon didn’t see her last week. 

She feels like she can’t breathe. 

“No,” she answers, shaking her head, “she didn’t tell me anything.” 

…

(“It’s still weird seeing you here,” Onii-san tells Mina on her third night back in Japan, “What happened in Korea? Did you get fired?” 

Mina shrugs, picking through her sukiyaki with her chopsticks. Even though it’s good to be home, the heaviness in her chest hasn’t faded. Ray greeted her the second she passed through the threshold and now he’s lying on her lap, asleep. She uses her left hand to pat his head. 

“I resigned,” she tells her brother.

“Was the company shit?” 

“No.” Mina shakes her head. “I just... I wasn’t feeling it.” 

Kai nods, not pushing it. Their parents are still working odd hours at the hospital so it’s just the two of them eating dinner. They eat in silence. It’s comfortable and familiar. Slowly, the tightness in her chest loosens. It’s good to be back. Yes. 

After Kai finishes with his food, he leans back on his arms and looks at her for several long seconds, almost to the point of making her uncomfortable. But then he cracks a smile and gestures for her to stand up. “Wanna play some video games?” he asks. 

_ If we ever meet up with your brother, maybe we can play some games _, Nayeon’s voice returns in her brain. It’s been nearly two weeks already but the older girl is still on her thoughts, like a song that she can’t get out of her head. Mina stares at her brother, wondering how he would react to Nayeon. Maybe he’d even like her snarky personality.

“Mina-chan?” 

“Yeah.” She nods too quickly. “Let’s play video games.”)

…

“She resigned,” Nayeon tells Dahyun over the phone, “since last week and I had no idea.”

Dahyun sighs heavily. “Of course she did.”

“It’s because of me.” 

Silence on the other end. Nayeon knows that Dahyun won’t lie to her. It’s one of the main reasons why she sought her out tonight. A quick glance at the clock on her bedside table tells her that it’s nearing midnight. Dahyun should be asleep by now but for some reason, when Nayeon called her, she picked up on the second ring. 

“I’m sorry, unnie,” Dahyun tells her quietly. 

“Don’t be.” Nayeon runs a hand down her face, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “It’s my fault.” 

“Maybe you can try reaching out to her? Ask her to talk?”

“I can’t do that—” Nayeon inhales sharply “—I broke her heart, remember? I told her I didn’t love her.” 

“But you _ do _,” Dahyun insists; “It’s been two weeks already. Are you really going to let her think that you don’t love her? Are you going to let her go through the same thing you did with Jennie?” 

“Dahyun-ah…” 

“You don’t deserve what Jennie did to you,” the younger girl whispers softly, “so don’t do the same thing to Mina, please.”

Nayeon doesn’t know what to do. She wants to be with Mina but after hurting her so badly two weeks ago, she knows that she just can’t waltz back into her life and ask for a second chance. It’d be so selfish of her. No—Nayeon needs to pay her dues and repent for all the wrongs she’s caused. If that means forcing herself to stay away from Mina, then she’ll gladly do it. 

_ As long as you love her and she loves you back, that’s all that matters _. 

It sounds so easy, if you put it that way, but it’s one of the hardest truths Nayeon has to face. Because based on personal experience, if you love someone and they love you back, there’s a possibility that they’ll fall out of it later on. There’s a possibility that they can still hurt you later on. Can she even begin to handle that kind of pain twice? She’s not sure if she’s willing to go through it once more, even if it is for Mina.

“Unnie?” 

“I’m okay,” Nayeon says, trying to convince herself that she really is, “It’s been a long day.”

“If you say so.” It’s clear that Dahyun doesn’t believe her. “If you need help, I’m always here, okay?”

Nayeon thinks of Mina promising those same words over a year ago. 

_ Where are you now _? 

…

(Mina keeps a diary.

She’s been in Japan for three weeks now. Most of her time is spent on catching up with parents, taking Ray out for walks and playing video games with her brother. But not a day goes by where she doesn’t think of Nayeon. She’s always in her thoughts, even when Mina is thinking of something else.

Sometimes, she thinks it’s impossible to love someone as much as _ this _—to the point that it feels like they’re simultaneously breaking you apart and holding you together. When Mina doesn’t think of Nayeon, she misses her with an ache that can’t be suppressed. Like there’s a hole in her chest and she’s just walking around with it, trying to find some sort of compensation.

She tries to write down how she feels but finds that she can’t. It’s too hard. Writing it down makes it seem more permanent. If she thinks back to what Nayeon told her that night, she’ll just end up hurting herself more. 

Instead, she copies down song lyrics that remind her of Nayeon. 

It’s Day 21 and Mina writes—

_ ‘maybe we got lost in translation, _

_ maybe I asked for too much, _

_ and maybe this thing was a masterpiece _

_ till you tore it all up.’ _)

…

One day, Nayeon discovers that Mina’s blocked her on all social media accounts. It already hurts, knowing that she can’t see her back at the office. Now, she can’t even see her online. When the reality of the situation hits her, Nayeon feels like she’s been punched in the gut. 

Radio silence. 

It’s been three weeks of radio silence. 

Mina has never been loud but this is the loudest silence Nayeon’s ever heard from her.

…

(Day 24—

_ Melt me _ , Mina jots down in her notebook as she sits in the middle of a coffee shop, listening to a song in her headphones, _ sweeter than ice cream, baby _. 

_ With your words, your smile _

_ Softly melt me _

_ I’m only looking at you _

_ Tell me you love me _.

Mina closes her eyes when she hears Nayeon’s voice in her head, whispering the same words that haven’t escaped her thoughts since she left the wedding: _ Because I don’t _.)

...

A month later, Nayeon caves in. Ever since she found out Mina resigned from the company, she’s been filled with so many questions. But the most pressing one is _ where are you, Mina _? She decides to head to the source itself, despite her brain screaming at her not to do so. It’s been a month since she last saw her colleague and she’s not even sure what she’s going to do once she sees her. Hug her? Kiss her? Stand there awkwardly until Mina tells her to go away? Beg Mina for a second chance? There’s a reason why Mina blocked her in all accounts, after all. And yet, here she is. Yup—definitely not one of her best plans but she’s never been known for her best plans. 

_ This is stupid, this is stupid, this is stupid _, Nayeon thinks to herself as she stops right in front of Mina’s apartment. In the passenger seat of her car sits two cups of coffee and a bag of bagels. She doesn’t know why she bought them in the first place. She hopes it can be considered a peace offering. She hopes she actually knows what she’s doing. 

She hasn’t been this nervous since last month—when she realized that she was going to see Jennie again after a whole entire year. This time, the nerves feel worse. Like there’s an invisible hand squeezing her throat. A month. The pain of watching Mina walk away with tears in her eyes is still fresh in her mind, like a wound that refuses to scab over. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. _ Why _is she doing this? 

As she sits there in the parking lot with her hands squeezing the steering wheel, she debates whether to leave or not. Does she even have the right to seek Mina out like this? She was the one who broke her heart, after all. She glances at the coffee cups and the bagels. Would Mina even accept them? Would she even open the door for her? Now Nayeon’s starting to feel like an idiot. An idiot who shouldn’t even be here in the first place. 

She shakes her head and pulls out her phone, texting a close friend:

**Halmeoni 👵(5:49 PM) **

wheres ur wife? I need her number

**Baby Beast 🦁(5:52 PM)**

Uh hello to u too?

**Baby Beast 🦁(5:53 PM)**

Why do u want my wifes number

**Baby Beast 🦁(5:53 PM)**

Lmao its been a month and i still cant believe shes my wife 😩

**Halmeoni 👵(5:55 PM)**

so gay 🤮

**Halmeoni 👵(5:56 PM)**

I need to talk to her duh

**Baby Beast 🦁(5:57 PM)**

Is it important? 👀

**Halmeoni 👵(5:58 PM)**

Yeah it kind of is please

**Baby Beast 🦁(5:58 PM)**

[0XX-XXXX-XXXX]

Three minutes later, Nayeon is on the phone with Tzuyu. It’s the first time she’s talking to the younger girl without their friends next to them. A part of her regrets not getting close to her back at the wedding. It’s understandable, though—Tzuyu was incredibly busy with the program and Nayeon was just dealing with Mina-related feelings.

“Nayeonnie?” Tzuyu asks on the other end. 

“Tzuyu-yah!” Nayeon chirps happily, “It’s so good to hear from you!” 

“Uhm, thank you?”

“You don’t sound too pleased about this.”

Tzuyu laughs. It’s soft, gentle. Like a cool breeze on a hot summer day. Nayeon closes her eyes and remembers Mina. “I’m sorry, unnie,” the younger girl says, “It’s just… we haven’t really talked much, that’s all. I’m surprised that you reached out to me.” 

“It’s fine, I understand.”

“So… I’m sorry for being blunt but why are you calling me?” 

Nayeon grins. Tzuyu’s already apologized twice in the past minute—she’s so pure. “I wanted to ask you something,” she says, glancing at Mina’s apartment building, “and I need you to promise me not to tell Chaeyoung.” 

Silence on the other end. 

“If you’re about to do something completely illegal,” Tzuyu begins haltingly, “I can promise to keep my mouth shut but I’m not sure if I’m willing to be your accomplice, unnie—”

“It’s not illegal, oh my God, lighten up,” Nayeon interrupts, laughing, “I swear—you won’t get in trouble for this. I just need a listening ear, if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course it’s okay.” If it’s even possible, Tzuyu’s voice seems to have gotten even softer. 

“Thank you.” Nayeon takes a deep breath, looking down at the hand still gripping the steering wheel tightly. “I’m sure you’ve heard about what happened between Mina and I.” 

“I have.” 

“You might not know the details but to make it short, I broke her heart,” Nayeon says. When the truth about their ‘relationship’ got out, Nayeon practically begged her friends not to tell Momo, Sana and Tzuyu about her being in love with Mina. She didn’t want Mina to catch word of her feelings. If that meant that those three looked at her like she was some heartless bitch, then she was willing to make that sacrifice. She just needed… _time _to think things through, especially with how quickly things fell apart between her and Mina. She couldn’t do that if other people were getting in the way. 

But now, she needs advice. 

“I wanted to ask you how you knew,” Nayeon tells Tzuyu.

“Knew what?”

“That Chaeyoung was worth it?”

There’s a brief pause. Tzuyu seems to be thinking her words through. 

“What do you mean by _ worth it _?” she asks a few seconds later, pronouncing the word slowly.

“Like.” Nayeon clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth, trying to come up with the right words to say. “You only knew her for six months, right? It seems like a pretty short amount of time to get to know someone. Not to mention, people could be really judgemental about it. So, what made you decide that Chaeyoung was worth chasing after? That she was worth the trouble you were going to go through?” _ That she was worth getting hurt over? _

“Ah.” Tzuyu lets out a hum of understanding. “I understand now.” 

“Really?”

“Yes.” There’s a shifting noise on the other end of the call, like Tzuyu is moving or something. A few seconds later, she comes back. “You want to know how I knew that Chaeyoung was the one for me,” she elaborates.

“Yeah, basically.” 

“Well,” Tzuyu begins, sounding like she’s smiling, “I just _ knew _. There’s really no secret to it, unnie. When I’m with Chaeyoung, I feel… better about myself.”

“Better?” Nayeon tilts her head to the side, frowning slightly. 

“Yes. Did I say it wrong?”

“No, no, you didn’t.” 

“It’s like…” Tzuyu takes a few seconds to gather her words. “You know that feeling when you’re just sitting on your couch? And then your dog suddenly waddles in and chooses to sleep on your lap? You feel like you’ve been chosen? And everything that’s ever happened in your life has led up to that one moment where your dog picks you as a pillow? And you feel… what’s the word… _ validated _?” 

Nayeon doesn’t really follow but at the same time, she does. A laugh slips past her lips, which she quickly apologizes for. “I’m not laughing at you,” she tries to assure Tzuyu but the younger just chuckles. 

“It’s okay, unnie,” she says, “I like using my dog as an example for everything.” 

“I’m going to ignore the fact that you basically compared your dog to your wife.” 

“Thank you.” 

Another pause. It’s funny—Nayeon doesn’t know Tzuyu that well but the silence is comfortable between them. It’s rare to find people she can share this with. Still, her question hasn’t been answered yet but she’s not sure if she fully understood what Tzuyu was trying to tell her. 

Apparently, Tzuyu must feel the same way because she adds: “It’s like… I knew that she was worth it because she made _ me _feel worth it.” 

“Oh.” It feels like a lightbulb has lit up on top of Nayeon’s head.

“Does that answer your question?” 

Nayeon glances at the two coffee cups and the bag of bagels on the shotgun seat. She comes to a decision. “Yeah,” she tells Tzuyu, her voice firm, “it does. Thank you, Tzuyu-yah.” 

“Anytime, unnie. I hope I’ve helped you out in some way.”

“You did.”

“Good luck.”

There’s a knowing tilt to Tzuyu’s tone and Nayeon hesitates, wanting to ask if she’s really _ that _ obvious, but she decides against it. She thanks Tzuyu again and ends the call. Then it’s quiet inside her car. She sighs, pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes. She thinks about Mina’s words to her the last time they saw each other— _ I see a beautiful woman who thinks that she doesn't deserve the world, even though she does _ —and a part of her wants to slam her head against the steering wheel because she’s just so _ fucking _stupid. 

She let the person who loved her with every beat of her heart _ walk away _. 

“Now’s your chance, Nayeon,” she tells herself, wiping away her tears, “Time to make things right.” 

…

(Day 36—

_ You were red, _ Mina writes on the pages of her diary, _ and you liked me cause I was blue _

_ But you touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky _

_ And you decided purple wasn’t for you _.)

...

Nayeon leaves her identification card at the front desk and heads over to the elevator, pressing the button to Mina’s floor and balancing the coffee and bagels in her two hands. Her heart is in her throat. The closer she gets to where Mina is, the harder it is to breathe. One month. She hasn’t seen her in one month. What will happen once they see each other again? 

…

(Mina turns a page in her diary, humming under her breath. The paper is filled with lyrics that she’s been writing down since the early afternoon. It’s a mixture of Korean, Japanese and English songs. She adds a few scribbles around the corners, trying to brighten the way it looks. Halfway through, she realizes how ironic it is. The lyrics are too sad. Why is she trying to liven it up? It’s not going to mask the heartbreak she practically bled all over the pages.

She sighs, turns another page and starts over.)

...

Nayeon reaches the floor to Mina’s apartment. For several seconds, she stands there in the middle of the elevator with the coffee and bagels in her grip, staring down at the hallway and waiting for something to happen. Maybe Mina will walk out of her room in that exact same moment? Maybe it’ll be like fate, bringing them together? Such a moment does not happen. Nayeon only forces herself to move forward when the elevator doors slowly start to slide close. She slips through, her heart beating erratically inside her ribcage, and finds herself another step closer to the girl whose heart she broke. 

She glances at her watch. It’s 6:12 PM—a perfectly reasonable time for Mina to be home.

_ We don’t choose who we love, unnie _ , Mina once told her, _ but if I had the choice, I’d still pick you _. 

“This is me,” Nayeon says out loud as she stands in front of Mina’s door, “picking you.” 

She raises her fist and knocks. 

…

(Mina turns when she hears somebody knocking behind her. A quick glance at her phone tells her that it’s 6:13 PM. Taking off her headphones, she stands up and walks over to swing the door open.

Her brother stands on the other side. “Dinner’s ready,” he says, “It’s your favorite.”

“Did Mom make it?” Mina asks, smiling. 

“Yeah, just for you.” 

Mina nods excitedly, shutting the door behind her and following after Kai. He waits for her by the top of the stairs and wraps an arm around her shoulders, dragging her down with him. She sees her mother and father seated at the dining table, her favorite meal of kare raisu and udon waiting for her at her usual spot.

It takes a while but now it feels good to be back home.)

...

Nayeon waits and waits.

Until the coffee grows cold and the bagels go stale. 

Until she finds herself sitting opposite the door because her feet hurt.

Until her knuckles start to bruise from knocking on the wooden door so much. 

It’s a long shot but she does it anyway—

**Unknown Number (8:33 PM) **

Mina? Are u home? im outside your door 

**Unknown Number (8:33 PM)**

Message sent to invalid destination.

Please check your number and try again.

...

(Mina thinks she’s going to be okay.)

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos if you figured out where the song lyrics came from!
> 
> I know that I promised that this would be the last update but I decided to add another chapter because I didn't want the whole ending to be rushed. I could see that a lot of people really enjoyed this fic and maybe a part of me doesn't want it to end YET. Nonetheless, I do apologize for getting your hopes up. Another VERY final chapter (including epilogue) will be added next week. Stay tuned! 
> 
> 11.22.2019  
9:00 PM PHT


	6. only longing grows pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Where Nayeon and Mina owe everything to their friends.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T WORRY. I'm uploading the next part as soon as I finish with it. I just hate keeping you guys waiting :D

_I didn’t know_

_That your heart would change_

_I really didn’t know_

_I only believe in you_

_I believed in you_

_What do I do? I miss you_

_Only longing grows_

-Huh Gong, Only Longing Grows

The months go by in a blur. 

...

(Day 47—Mina occasionally writes in her diary.)

...

**Jeongie **💞 **(8:03 AM)**

Good morning Momo!!! 

**Jeongie ** **💞** ** (8:04 AM)**

How was dance practice last night?

**🍑🍑🍑** **(8:07 AM)**

good morning jeong! :)))

🍑🍑🍑 **(8:08 AM)**

it was a bit tiring but fun!!!

**Jeongie ** **💞** ** (8:08 AM)**

Thats good to hear 👌

**Jeongie ** **💞** ** (8:09 AM)**

Btw i have some free time today and im already kind of downstairs at ur place…? 👉👈

🍑🍑🍑 **(8:10 AM)**

Really? ;)))

**Jeongie ** **💞** ** (8:11 AM)**

I bought some pastries from that bakery u like?

**🍑🍑🍑** ** (8:12 AM)**

i'll ring u up

🍑🍑🍑 **(8:14 AM)**

oh and jeong?

🍑🍑🍑 **(8:14 AM)**

you dont have to buy me anything just to spend time with me 😊

**Jeongie ** **💞** ** (8:15 AM)**

I know but I want to 🤗

🍑🍑🍑 **(8:16 AM)**

💖

...

(Day 62—Mina listens less to songs.)

...

**🌈** ** Jigglypuff ** **🌈** ** (6:03 PM)**

Hi, I'm in Seoul for the next couple of days for a client meeting. Are you at your place?

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (6:07 PM)**

yah!!! 😁😁😁

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (6:07 PM)**

U text like my mom jihyo chan! 😂😂😂😂 its so funny y r u always so formal to meeee???

🌈 **Jigglypuff ****🌈**** (6:09 PM)**

And you text like a fourteen-year-old girl on Twitter. Besides, I always text like this. You know that already ha ha ha. 

**My** **Partner ****✨**** (6:09 PM)**

maybe i am a fourteen-year-old girl on twitter!!! 😂😂😏😏

**🌈** ** Jigglypuff ** **🌈** ** (6:11 PM)**

HOW DO YOU TYPE SO FAST? 

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (6:11 PM)**

i have quick fingers maybe u wanna see them in action??? 😉😉😉😉😉😉😉

🌈 **Jigglypuff ****🌈**** (6:12 PM)**

👀👀👀

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (6:12 PM)**

momo is at jeong's place tonight do u wanna come over? 💓💓💓

🌈 **Jigglypuff ****🌈**** (6:15 PM) **

On my way! 

...

(Day 83—Mina doesn’t cry as often as she used to.)

…

**BRO ** **👊** ** (7:12 PM)**

DAHYUNNIEEEEE 👋

**BRO ** **👊** ** (7:13 PM)**

How did ur date go???

**Brother from Another Mother 🤟 (7:16 PM)**

i think im going to die 😭😭

**BRO ** **👊** ** (7:17 PM)**

WAIT WHY

**Brother from Another Mother 🤟 (7:18 PM)**

i might've asked her to move in with me bro like wtf who says that on a third date??? 😭

**BRO ** **👊** ** (7:20 PM)**

tzuyu just said that u might've been influenced by us lmao but BRO WTF?

**BRO ** **👊** ** (7:22 PM)**

how did she react?? wait r u still at her place?? Did she think u were moving too fast?? Omfg i need details 😫

**BRO ** **👊** ** (7:30 PM)**

[_You have three missed calls_]

**BRO ** **👊** ** (8:01 PM)**

bro….. Did u die of embarrassment?

**BRO ** **👊** ** (8:05 PM)**

DAHYUN IF U DONT REPLY WITHIN THE NEXT MINUTE IM CALLING A SWAT TEAM DID GAHYEON KIDNAP U OR SOMETHING

**BRO ** **👊** ** (8:06 PM)**

[_caveman Spongebob meme._jpg.]

**Brother from Another Mother 🤟 (8:06 PM)**

bro

**Brother from Another Mother 🤟 (8:06 PM)**

SHE JUST KISSED ME

**Brother from Another Mother 🤟 (8:06 PM)**

ITS OUR FIRST KISS!!!!! 

**BRO ** **👊** ** (8:07 PM)**

bro i love u with all my heart but wtf are u doing?? STOP TEXTING ME AND GET BACK TO UR GIRL!!! DUBCHAENG REMEMBER?? WOMEN MAGNETS!!! 💪

**BRO ** **👊** ** (8:10 PM)**

ok tzuyu just made me promise never to use that phrase ever again…..

...

(Day 90—Mina doesn’t stop thinking about her, though.)

…

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (12:24 PM)**

Have you heard from Nayeon lately?

**The Cuter Yoo 🤢 (12:27 PM)**

saw her last week why? 

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (12:29 PM)**

I'm worried. She hasn't been okay ever since she found out Mina went back to Japan.

**The Cuter Yoo 🤢 (12:30 PM)**

I know. We usually hang out @ the bar but lately shes been skipping out 🙁

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (12:32 PM)**

Do you think she's seeing someone?

**The Cuter Yoo 🤢 (12:33 PM)**

doubt it. Mina was different i think it'll take a while for her to get over this

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (12:36 PM)**

After what happened with Jennie, I wouldn't be surprised. She went through a nasty breakup, after all. 

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (12:38 PM)**

I just wish there was some way we could help.

**The Cuter Yoo 🤢 (12:39 PM)**

I think this is something nayeon has to fix on her own 

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (12:43 PM)**

Why can't she see that she deserves to be happy too?

**The Cuter Yoo 🤢 (12:45 PM)**

thats what happens when u give ur love to someone who doesnt want it

**The Cuter Yoo 🤢 (12:46 PM)**

U think that everybody else feels the same way

...

(Day 100—Mina doesn’t think she can stop.)

...

**Son Chewie ** **🐶** ** (3:25 PM)**

How was your first session unnie?

**Im Nabongs (5:03 PM)**

hi slr it just ended 

**Im Nabongs (5:04 PM)**

and it was ok better than i expected

**Im Nabongs (5:05 PM)**

thnx for suggesting Dr. Manoban. she seems really nice 👍

**Son** **Chewie ****🐶**** (5:09 PM)**

It's the least I can do 😊

**Son Chewie ** **🐶** ** (5:10 PM)**

Please don't hesitate to reach out to me if you want to talk. Okay? 😅

**Im Nabongs (5:15 PM)**

Ofc tzuyu thanks so much for this 

**Im Nabongs (5:16 PM)**

chaeng is lucky to have u 🦁💜🐶

...

(Day 107—it’s been three and a half months and Mina still misses Nayeon.)

...

"This is my first time," Nayeon tells Dr. Manoban, eyes fixed on her pink nails, "reaching out to someone who isn't a close friend." 

Dr. Manoban smiles at her. “How do you feel about it?” 

Nayeon doesn’t really know how to feel about it. When Tzuyu first brought up talking to a therapist, she was vehemently against it. Why does she need to pay a completely random person just to get over her feelings of self-loathing and worthlessness? Even after Tzuyu sent her so many articles about the benefits of talking to someone who doesn’t know anything about you, it took a long while for Nayeon to finally agree. And that was only because Tzuyu threatened to pay for the sessions regardless if she didn’t agree. Nayeon knows better than to let money go to waste, especially if each session takes a huge chunk out of her own salary.

So that’s why she’s in her second therapy session. Their first session was basically just them getting to know each other. Nothing Jennie or Mina-related has been talked about yet. Dr. Lalisa Manoban is apparently a well known therapist, which Nayeon wouldn’t have known anyway since she never needed a therapist before. Maybe that’s one of the few reasons why she _apparently _needs one now. A part of her wonders if talking to her is actually going to work and if it’s going to help her _move on_, as what Tzuyu said.

“I don’t know,” she says truthfully because there’s this little thing called telling the truth that Nayeon’s been trying lately. She takes another long look around the room, eyeing the soft yellow wallpaper (it’s supposed to _evoke _feelings of happiness) and the minimalist design (it’s supposed to _clear _the patient’s head). A few certificates are plastered on the walls, which is honestly helpful in validating the therapist’s credibility. Dr. Manoban looks young but has apparently graduated with a few notable accomplishments.

Of course—Tzuyu only knows the best. 

“That’s perfectly acceptable,” Dr. Manoban says gently, “but I do hope that I’ll be able to help you in some way.”

“You better,” Nayeon grumbles, cracking a grin, “these sessions are expensive.”

The therapist chooses not to comment. They’re both seated facing each other with a small coffee table separating them. Dr. Manoban suggested the couch for Nayeon to lie on just so that she can be comfortable but Nayeon adamantly refused. She doesn’t even know if she wants to be here right now. 

“Why don’t we start with this question—why are you here right now?” the therapist asks. 

“Because my friend threatened to pay for the whole thing, regardless if I showed up or not,” Nayeon grumbles, rubbing the back of her neck. 

“She seems like a good friend.”

Nayeon thinks about Tzuyu and nods. “She is,” she agrees, “I have lots of good friends but lately, I’ve been reaching out to her because she doesn’t know me that well yet.” 

Dr. Manoban tilts her head to the side. “Other people would be more comfortable reaching out to friends who _do _know them well,” she says lightly but Nayeon can feel the weight behind those words, “Is there a reason why this person is the only one you've been talking to?” 

Nayeon sighs. A headache is starting to form behind her eyes. She’s starting to feel like talking to a therapist will be similar to talking to a wall. Maybe that’s what she actually needs to do? Talk to a wall? Talk to herself? What does she even plan to achieve with this whole thing? 

She did promise Tzuyu she’ll try her best with the therapy sessions.

“Maybe,” she begins uncertainly, “it’s because she doesn’t know what I’ve been through. She doesn’t have enough background to… _judge_ me. Do you know what I mean?”

Dr. Manoban nods. Nayeon thinks that therapists are supposed to nod, regardless if they do or don’t know what you’re actually talking about. Maybe it’s part of the job description. 

“Isn’t that what a therapist technically is?” the doctor asks, smiling widely at her, “Somebody who doesn’t know what you’ve been through? A person who doesn’t have enough background to judge?” 

Nayeon narrows her eyes. “Touche.” 

“Just sharing an observation.” Dr. Manoban puts down her notebook—the one where she’s supposed to jot down notes about Nayeon’s mental well-being—and spreads her hands in a welcoming manner. “Think of me as a sponge. I won’t judge, I won’t give you advice and I won’t tell anybody what goes on in here. This is your safe space.” 

Nayeon _knows_. That’s what therapists are supposed to do, after all—offer safe spaces when there aren’t any left in your life. She also knows that she can always reach out to her friends but they’re so happy with their relationships that she doesn’t want to ruin the mood. Besides, the more she listens to Jeongyeon and Jihyo gush about Sana and Momo, the more she wants to ask about Mina… and she knows she doesn’t have the right to ask about Mina.

“It’s stupid,” Nayeon mumbles, crossing her arms, “I’m here for a stupid reason.” 

“What makes you think it’s stupid?”

Nayeon ignores the rising annoyance in her chest. Are therapists supposed to repeat what you say in a question form? Again—probably part of the job description. She looks down at her nails, picking at the skin around the cuticles. “I got dumped, that’s all.”

“That’s all?” 

“Well, it’s a lot more complicated than that,” Nayeon begrudgingly says, thinking about fake dates, spring weddings and kisses shared between two people who were in love but were too afraid to say it out loud. “But I guess that’s a given, right? Since I’m here.”

Dr. Manoban nods seriously. “Break-ups are difficult to process,” she says. 

Nayeon thinks about Jennie. Her words echo in her ears: _you were enough for me_. It’s been three months since the wedding—since Jennie forced her way back into her thoughts, since she broke down the walls Nayeon has desperately put up, since she asked for closure in a relationship _she _ruined in the first place. Nayeon bites her lower lip so hard she draws blood. 

“This is stupid,” she mumbles again, shaking her head, “People have it worse than me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because it’s _true_,” Nayeon nearly spits out, getting riled up, “I mean—you’ve probably listened to soldiers dealing with PTSD, right? Or wives who’ve been abused and kids who’ve been bullied? Why the hell am I here? When all I’ve been through is just a break-up with somebody who realized that she didn’t want me at the end of the day?” 

She can feel tears burning in the back of her eyes. It’s been over a year since she and Jennie broke up. The pain has faded to a dull thud but only because a new one has replaced it. She thinks of Mina’s tear-streaked expression the last time they saw each other, thinks of Mina’s shaky voice when she told her she loved her, thinks of Mina’s lips pressed against her own, desperate to share her feelings that words couldn’t justify.

“It’s true that some people _do _have it worse,” Dr. Manoban slowly says, catching Nayeon off guard, “but that doesn’t mean that what you feel isn’t valid. You can’t compare a bullet wound and a stab wound and say that one hurts more than the other.” 

Nayeon lets the words sink in. 

“You’re allowed to feel what you feel, Nayeon-ssi,” Dr. Manoban tells her, smiling reassuringly, “and if you can’t make sense of what you feel, then that’s what I’m here for.” 

Maybe therapy isn’t so bad, after all.

…

(Day 114—

“Any plans for today?” Onii-san asks Mina when she walks down the stairs from her room, still clad in her pajamas and holding her penguin plushie in one hand. 

_Think about Nayeon_, she thinks to herself glumly, _like I always do._

“I think I’ll watch a movie,” she answers instead.) 

…

“How did you feel when Jennie turned you down the first time?” 

Third session. Nayeon continues to stare at her nails. They’re purple this time. “Like shit,” she answers gruffly, not wanting to see the pity in the therapist’s eyes. 

“How so?”

“Like…” Nayeon pushes down the need to downplay her feelings. She’s always done that—pretend like it didn’t hurt, ignore the agony in her chest, laugh off the pain. _Suppressing what you feel just means prolonging the inevitable_, Dr. Manoban told her the last time she was here. Nayeon needs to open up. She needs to make amends with herself. If she does that, then maybe… maybe she can face Mina again? 

“Like what?” 

“Like I wasn’t enough,” Nayeon whispers, looking up briefly. There is no judgement in the therapist’s eyes, only encouragement and understanding. It makes her feel even worse. “The first time I asked her out, she only laughed and told me to try harder. There was a long line of people waiting to date her… I was just one of them.”

Dr. Manoban nods. “What made you different from the rest of them?” 

The question makes her pause. She hasn’t really thought of that. She always believed that the reason why Jennie agreed to be her girlfriend after two years was because she never stopped chasing after her. All the other guys and girls simply… gave up. Jennie always had high standards—it was made even clearer in her choice for a partner.

“I don’t know,” Nayeon answers, pursing her lips, “Maybe because I was persistent?”

“Perhaps.” Dr. Manoban hums. “Maybe she saw something in you that nobody else had.” 

“Which is what?” 

“Patience.” The therapist smiles at her. “All good things come to those who wait, after all.” 

…

(“Here’s your drink,” the waiter says, putting down Mina’s oreo-flavored iced frappuccino on the table next to her notebook, “Thank you for waiting.” 

Mina gives him a polite smile and takes a sip. This new cafe just opened up on their street which is what pushed her to get out of the house for once. It’s part of her bucket list while she’s still in Japan. Try out new places. Eat new food. Drink something that isn’t coffee infused with the right amount of sugar, cream and vanilla. 

She puts her headphones back on and looks down at her notebook, finishing what she was writing earlier before the waiter arrived: 

‘Day 124—

_You're stuck in my head _

_and I can't get you out of it_

_If I could do it all again,_

_I know I'd go back to you_.’)

…

“When did things start falling apart between you and Jennie?” 

Nayeon closes her eyes. She thinks about the months leading up to their eventual break-up, thinks about the fights that kept happening more frequently and the silence that just kept getting louder. She thinks of Jennie kissing her just to shut her up, thinks of her nails biting into her skin to hurt her, thinks of the empty space on the bed every time she woke up. 

“After our one year anniversary,” she answers, voice low.

“What happened?” 

“I don’t know.” Nayeon presses the heels of her palms against her eyes. “Things just… _changed_.” 

“Was there someone else?” 

“Yes.” Nayeon shakes her head. “But Jisoo wasn’t the cause… she was an _effect_, if you get what I mean? Like Jennie didn’t cheat on me or anything. She just… got tired, I guess.” Jennie’s voice comes back in Nayeon’s ear—_when things started getting rough between us, I didn’t want to fix it. I wanted to run away_. _I gave up on us_. “She gave up.”

“Do you think you were at fault?” 

“Yes.” It’s not a question—Nayeon has felt that way ever since Jennie started shutting her out. 

“Why do you think that way?”

“Because it’s true,” Nayeon spits out, clenching her hands into fists and taking a deep breath, “I shouldn’t have been so clingy or jealous and irrational… I shouldn’t have _done _things that made her feel like she was being overwhelmed. I shouldn’t have given her any reasons to leave me.” 

“But you don’t know what those reasons are, I presume?” 

Nayeon looks at the therapist, head tilted to the side. “What do you mean?”

Dr. Manoban purses her lips and leans forward. “It just sounds like you don’t even know what you did to make her leave,” she tells her carefully, like she’s trying to avoid Nayeon having a breakdown in the middle of her office—it wouldn’t be the first time. 

“I…” Nayeon doesn’t know what to say to that. 

“Maybe I should start giving you some homework?” Dr. Manoban suggests helpfully, writing on her clipboard, “I want you to list down all the possible reasons why Jennie might’ve broken up with you. It’ll help clear some things out.” 

“What things?” 

Dr. Manoban smiles. “You’ll see.”

…

(“Mina-chaaaan,” Sana says on the video call, sounding close to tears, “We miss you!” 

Mina laughs, tucking her chin on top of her knees, as she watches Sana and Momo on her laptop screen. It’s eight o’clock in the evening. Ray is lying next to her on the bed, fast asleep.

“I’ve missed you guys too,” she says, rubbing her feet. 

“When are you coming back?” Momo whines, pouting. 

“I’m not sure yet.”

"Good!" Sana pipes up, cheeky grin in place. 

Mina is confused. Do they not want her to come back? The hurt must’ve been written all over her face because Momo quickly slaps Sana across the back of her head and says, in a scolding tone, “Don’t scare Mitang like that!” 

Sana whines, rubbing her head. "Sorry, sorry," she says, "I wanted it to be a surprise!"

"Wait, what surprise?"

Momo and Sana glance at each other, smirking. "We're going back home a month from now," the former says, "Just for a few days—we wanted to see you again!" 

Something inside Mina just completely _shatters_. She sits there, completely in awe at her two friends, and her eyes suddenly fill with tears. She hastily wipes them away, hoping that the connection is bad enough to distort the wetness against her cheeks. But Momo and Sana see right through her, as they always have, and it hits Mina just how much she’s missed them. 

“Mitang,” Momo says fondly, “don’t cry—you’re supposed to be happy!”

“I am,” Mina says, smiling. 

“I can’t wait to hug you and kiss you and squeeze your cute little cheeks!” Sana exclaims, bouncing up and down on the tiny video screen, “It’s been too long since the three of us hung out! Momo’s getting too boring for my taste—”

“Finish that sentence and I’m not sharing my food with you anymore,” Momo warns, waving the bag of gummy bears she has in her hand. 

Mina laughs when she sees the crestfallen expression on Sana’s face. Momo sticks her tongue out at her. It reminds her of the lunch breaks they spent in high school with the two of them constantly arguing and making up a few seconds later on. Even though so many years have passed and Mina has once again moved away to another country, far from her two best friends, it warms her soul to know that at least some things will never change.)

…

There’s a knock on Nayeon’s apartment door. She pauses the movie she was watching on TV and stands up to let whoever it is in. Did she order pizza? Pretty sure she didn’t. Did she order a package? Nah, half of her salary is going to her therapy sessions. She peeks through the eye-hole and is pleasantly surprised to find Jeongyeon on the other side, still clad in her scrubs. She must’ve dropped by straight from the hospital.

“Why didn’t you text me before coming?” Nayeon asks once she lets her best friend in, “I could’ve ordered us some food.”

Jeongyeon bites back a yawn. “It’s fine,” she says, “I ate before my shift ended.” 

“Is there something wrong?” The last time Nayeon saw Jeongyeon was two weeks ago—when they both went out for drinks. It was around the same time she started seeing Dr. Manoban. 

The nurse shrugs, putting down her bag on the kitchen counter. She wrinkles her nose at the fact that Nayeon has casually forgotten to throw away a few ramen cups and chocolate wrappers. It’s not like she spends most of her time eating at home anyway. Nonetheless, Nayeon gives Jeongyeon the stink-eye as she deposits all of the trash in their rightful place: the bin. 

“Nothing, really,” Jeongyeon answers, taking a seat up on the kitchen counter, “I just wanted to see how you were doing.” 

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Would it kill you to accept the fact that I care about you?” Jeongyeon says lightly, smirking when Nayeon just gives her the middle finger. 

“I’ve accepted that fact a long time ago,” she says, “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.” 

“You’re a softie—Mina said so.” Jeongyeon stills, realizing what she’s said and Nayeon feels her heart clench. “Ah shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“It’s fine,” Nayeon says, waving her apologies away, “You can talk about her. I don’t mind.”

“The last time you said that, you shut yourself off in your bedroom for two days straight and I had to coax you out with the help of Dahyun—”

“Don’t remind me.”

That had been one of Nayeon’s worst breakdowns. It happened a few days after she found out Mina left for Japan (Jihyo had been the one to ask Sana) when Jeongyeon casually remembered Mina talking about Fortnite and asked if Nayeon wanted to join her and Chaeyoung when they played a game. It was completely innocent. Just her best friend wanting her to play with them. But the reminder of Mina, right after receiving a fresh and harsh reality that she wasn’t in Seoul, had been a slap to the face. Nayeon couldn’t really be mad at Jeongyeon for that—she was only trying to help.

Even nearly four months later, everything still _hurts_. 

“How are you?” Jeongyeon asks hesitantly. 

Nayeon thinks about it. “Fine.” 

“Nabongs…”

Nayeon sighs, thinking about what her therapy sessions have taught her. _Suppressing what you feel just means prolonging the inevitable_. “Okay, _fine_,” she mutters, sitting down adjacent to her best friend, “I still feel pretty shitty about myself.” 

“As you should be.” At Nayeon’s affronted gasp, Jeongyeon rolls her eyes. “You know I say that with love and affection.”

“You know you can’t say that every single time you hurt my feelings.” 

“Okay, okay, sheesh.” Jeongyeon bumps her foot with Nayeon’s. “I know that you’re still in pain and I’m sorry about that but we can’t deny that you really did a shitty thing.”

This is one of the things Nayeon both loves and loathes about Jeongyeon. She looks out for you but won’t hesitate to beat you up at the same time. With Jihyo, there’s always an understanding that everything will work out in the end. With Dahyun, you couldn’t help but be positive at what the outcome could be. But Jeongyeon isn’t an optimistic. She’s a realist and she’ll tell it to you straight. 

A part of Nayeon wishes that Jihyo was here instead. 

“I know,” she tells Jeongyeon, sighing out loud, “I just… I don’t know what to do anymore.” 

Jeongyeon purses her lips. “If I were Mina,” she begins slowly and carefully, “I wouldn’t forgive you straight away…” 

“Do I even have the right to ask for forgiveness?” Nayeon mumbles, “_Think _about it, Jeong. She was in love with me for a _year _and I asked her to fake date me—”

“Cut yourself some slack,” her best friend tells her, “You didn’t know she had feelings for you.”

“A part of me did.” Nayeon thinks about all the times Mina would get flustered everytime she did something provocative—like kiss her on the cheek, flirt with her shamelessly and hold her hand even when nobody was looking. “I had a feeling,” she adds lamely.

Jeongyeon sighs. “Okay, fine, asking Mina to fake date you is definitely not one of your best plans.” She taps her fingers on the kitchen counter, humming to herself. “But like you said, Mina knew what she was putting herself through.”

_I’d rather have you like this than not have you at all_. 

Nayeon squeezes her eyes shut. It’s been months but she still wakes up in the middle of her sleep thinking about Mina’s face when she left her that night. The pure _heartbreak _in her eyes—it’s enough to punch a hole in Nayeon’s heart. 

“You both knew what you were putting yourselves through,” Jeongyeon quietly says, reaching out and squeezing her hand, “so think of this as retribution. You both hurt each other pretty badly but you can also forgive each other later on, if that’s what you guys want.” 

Silence. Nayeon closes her eyes. She thinks of another thing Dr. Manoban told her during their sessions, something that stuck with her all throughout the following days. 

_Forgiveness starts with yourself_. 

…

(Mina comes across a rabbit as she goes to the pet store to pick up some dog treats for Ray. She stops midway through paying the cashier, her eyes fixed on the medium-sized cage behind the counter. It has three albino rabbits bouncing around. A lump in her throat grows when the smallest one stands on its hindlegs and sniffs the air, its two front teeth peeking out. 

“Interested?” the cashier asks, smiling gently at her.

“Oh.” Mina shakes her head. She can’t breathe. “Rabbits aren’t really my thing.”

“Shame.” The man accepts her payment and then gestures at the cage behind him. “Most people think that it’s easier to take care of rabbits but it’s not, since they require more care and attention. They can be difficult to love sometimes but they’re worth it in the end.” 

Mina doesn’t respond.)

…

“Did you do your homework?”

Nayeon scowls, pulling out her notebook from her bag. “You make it seem like I’m back in high school,” she tells Dr. Manoban. She’s slowly starting to warm up to the therapist, even though there are several moments where she just wants to wring her hair out most of the time. The therapist has this habit of repeating what Nayeon says in question form, after all.

“Do you feel like you’re back in high school?” Dr. Manoban asks and smirks when Nayeon throws her a glare. “I’m only joking, Nayeon-ssi.”

Nayeon passes the notebook to her therapist who takes it into her hands. 

“Thank you for doing your homework,” the doctor says, smiling wryly. 

“Well, you said that it would help clear some things out,” Nayeon grumbles, crossing her arms.

“It will. Let’s start.” Dr. Manoban’s eyes skim through what Nayeon has written down. They meet once a week so it took seven days for Nayeon to actually come up with a list. It’s a short one, which kind of pissed her off because she knows that there’s more to it. She’s never been the type of person to write down her feelings, choosing instead to ignore them and pretend that she doesn’t have any in the first place. But with the therapist’s instructions, Nayeon realized just how badly she needed to let some things out.

“_I shouldn’t have asked her to move in with me_.” Dr. Manoban looks at her, raising her eyebrows.

“Jennie thought it was too soon,” Nayeon explains. 

“How long were you guys together during this?”

“One year and six months.” 

“That seems like a pretty adequate time already,” Dr. Manoban comments lightly, “especially since you’ve already known each other beforehand. Most people would agree with me on this.”

Nayeon doesn’t say anything, looking back down at her nails. Black this time. The therapist is quiet for a few more seconds before she continues on:

“_I shouldn’t have been so jealous when people kept flirting with her_. Do you think jealousy is a bad thing?”

“For her, it was.” 

“Why do you think it was a bad thing for her?” 

Nayeon sighs in frustration, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “I don’t know,” she answers truthfully, “Maybe I didn’t have the right…” 

“But you were her girlfriend.” 

Nayeon nods pathetically, thinking about all the fights and arguments that stemmed just because Jennie never put a stop to all the people flirting with her. The more Nayeon thinks about it, the more she realizes just how shitty it really was. Because Jennie knew how easily she got jealous and always chastised her for it. It always made her feel small, like her feelings about the whole thing didn’t matter. 

“_I should’ve paid more attention to the signs_,” Dr. Manoban continues, “What signs are you referring to here?” 

Pursing her lips, Nayeon shrinks back in her chair. “You know,” she says and then realizes that the therapist doesn’t really know so she tries to remember, “Signs that she was pulling away or getting distant or getting bored of me.” 

Dr. Manoban nods. “Did you stop talking when things got rough?”

Nayeon thinks about the sex and shrugs. “If you consider _intimate _relations talking…” 

“I don’t.”

“Then yes.” Nayeon swallows the lump in her throat painfully. “We stopped talking.”

Dr. Manoban continues to read her list out loud. It’s mostly just Nayeon wishing that she hadn’t done _this _during an argument or wishing that she did _that_ when Jennie started pulling away. It’s basically just her writing down her regrets about her entire relationship with her ex-girlfriend. She feels kind of stupid when she hears it said out in the open.

“You said that it would clear things up,” Nayeon reminds her therapist once the list is over and they’re sitting in a tense, uncomfortable silence. 

“It did,” Dr. Manoban responds, returning her notebook, “Well, at least for me, it did.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“You’re punishing yourself, Nayeon-ssi,” her therapist tells her softly, rubbing her chin thoughtfully, “You think that you’re at fault for your relationship falling apart.” 

“It’s the truth,” Nayeon whispers, “If I hadn’t given everything to her… she wouldn’t have gotten scared. She wouldn’t have left.” 

“A person who is scared of love is a person who isn’t ready for it,” Dr. Manoban says nonchalantly and the words pierce through Nayeon’s heart. It _resonates _with her. “From what I’ve seen and heard from you, I can tell you one thing that I’m absolutely certain of.” 

Nayeon straightens her back, ready for whatever words will be thrown her way. “What?” 

“You have so much love to give,” her therapist says with the softest look in her eyes and Nayeon’s breath hitches in her throat, “but you’ve just given it to the wrong person.” 

…

(Day 155—

Mina is in her room, staring at her laptop screen. After losing on League of Legends for the third time in a row, she’s in a stump. She’s never played so badly before. Even her teammates were starting to think that she was a noob. And Myoui Mina is _not _a noob. She’s in the Master ranks for a reason, after all.

She thinks about the rabbits she saw last week and shakes her head. Tears sting the back of her eyes. She’s always known that she was soft but she didn’t think she’d get so emotional over a bunch of cute adorable mammals who remind her of—

“Really, Mina?” she mutters to herself, interrupting her own thoughts and pulling out her notebook from her drawer, “This is an all-time low, even for you.” 

It’s been five months and she still can’t let a day pass without thinking about Nayeon.

_In the end I'm gonna be alright_, she writes on the pages, trying to convince herself that it’s true,

_But it might take a hundred sleepless nights_

_To make the memories of you disappear_

_But right now I can't see nothing through these tears._)

…

Sixth session. Nayeon stares at her red-tinted nails. Her entire body is tense. She knows what's coming but she's not sure if she's fully prepared to handle it. Her heart is beating erratically inside her ribcage. If she closes her eyes, she can hear Mina's voice in the back of her head: _Why are you so afraid of loving me back_? 

She doesn’t want to remember her answer. 

“We’ve talked about your ex-girlfriend,” her therapist says, looking over her notes, “and we’ve established that there are still some underlying issues to deal with. You think you were at fault for the relationship falling apart, even a year later. Am I wrong?” 

Nayeon grits her teeth and shakes her head. “No.” 

“You refused to talk about your feelings during that one-year period, even to your own friends,” the therapist continues and each word feels like a stab to Nayeon’s heart, “so, when you saw Jennie again at your friend’s wedding with the girl she left you for, everything came rushing back.” 

“Yes.”

“You suppress your emotions and now you’re suffering for it.”

Nayeon closes her eyes and nods. “Yes.” 

Silence. It’s suffocating. Nayeon curls her hands into fists, nails biting into the insides of her palms. When she opens her eyes and looks at Dr. Manoban, she sees the other woman staring at her softly. 

Nayeon knows what’s going to happen next and maybe she’s ready for it. Maybe she can talk about it now. Maybe it won’t hurt as much as it used to—

“I think it’s time we talk about Mina.”

_Oh_. 

She’s wrong. 

It still hurts. 

…

(It takes Mina a while to realize that her brother is standing by the doorway, arms crossed, and watching her carefully. She’s seeing Sana and Momo soon and excitement has made her numb to the rest of her surroundings. When she twists around in her seat, she nearly falls over at the sight of Kai’s large figure blocking the entrance. 

“Onii-san!” she yelps, hand flying to her chest in shock.

“What’s up?” Kai asks, grinning.

“I should be asking _you _that,” she grumbles, “What are you doing here?” 

“Am I not allowed to look out for my favorite sister?”

Mina sticks her tongue out at him. “I’m your only sister.” 

“Exactly.”

They stare at each other for a few more seconds. Kai has his arms crossed, expression unreadable. They’ve always been close but that doesn’t mean Mina knows how to gauge what her brother is thinking. It didn’t bother her before but now, she can’t help but feel like something bad is going to happen.

“You’ve been back home for five months,” Kai finally says, uncrossing his arms, “Are you planning on going back out there?”

Mina frowns, not liking where this is going. “Are you kicking me out of our own house?” 

“No, you idiot.” He looks down at his feet, contemplating. “I’m here to offer you a job.”

“Where?” 

He looks up, meets her gaze head-on. “In America.”)

…

Nayeon’s throat burns as she sips her fourth drink that night. 

Her session with Dr. Manoban did _not _go well. At the mention of Mina, her heart caved in and her stomach bottomed out. She couldn’t stop crying. Talking to a professional about Jennie was enough to chip down her walls but when it came to opening up about Mina, everything just _collapsed_. Not talking about Mina was the only thing holding her together. And now that’s expected to talk about her in their next session... 

Nayeon needs another drink.

...

(“Mitang!”

Mina turns around and is nearly knocked off her feet when Sana comes rushing out of nowhere to engulf her in an overwhelming hug. Arms wrap around her body like a blanket welcoming her home and Mina stutters out a laugh, her heart growing warm. She returns the embrace, nuzzling her nose against Sana’s neck, and squeezes her back just as enthusiastically.

“It’s so good to see you,” Mina says as she spots Momo walking up from around a street corner, smiling brightly at her two friends. 

“Don’t ever leave like that again!” Sana says, sounding tearful, “We were just reunited back at the wedding! I swear to God—if you leave one more time—” 

Mina thinks about her brother’s offer and her heart stutters. Momo reaches her two friends and immediately opens her arms for Mina, who falls into them like old times. Sana, apparently deciding that she’s not getting enough attention, joins in.

“Hi,” Mina tells them, tears clogging her throat, “I missed you guys.” 

“Ditto.” Momo pats her head, chuckling. “It’s good to be home.”

Mina knows that she isn’t just talking about Japan.)

…

“Tell me about Mina.”

Seventh session. This is the seventh time Nayeon’s been in this office, the seventh time she’s staring at her nails (baby blue, like the ocean), the seventh time she’s going to let someone she barely knows see through her cracks. She promised herself she’d get through this session—she’s made it this far, after all. But now that she’s faced with the simple task of talking about Myoui Mina, it feels like the world has collapsed from underneath her feet. 

“Mina is…” she begins, her throat closing up, “Mina _was_ my guardian angel.” 

“What do you mean she was your guardian angel?” 

“We met over a year ago,” Nayeon answers, thinking about the elevator ride they shared, “It was a little after Jennie and I broke up. I was just trying to get through my job but… she made things easier.” 

“How did she make things easier?”

Nayeon is so absorbed in her memories that she doesn’t bother getting annoyed with the way Dr. Manoban rephrases her statements into questions. 

“She _helped_ me,” Nayeon continues, watching her fingers curl into her palm, nails digging deep into her skin, “She was there when I had problems with work. She was always looking out for me. She joined me for lunch and listened to me rant about some TV show I was watching that day.”

“She seems like a good friend.”

A dry laugh slips past Nayeon’s lips. “She was in love with me,” she whispers. 

…

(“How have you been?” Momo asks once the waiter walks away with their orders. They’re sitting in a small cafe that they used to frequent back in high school. Sana and Momo are sitting next to each other and the image is enough to give Mina deja vu.Mina can’t put her finger on it but her two friends look _happier_ nowadays. She sees it a lot now, even when they’re facing each other on video screens. Did something happen in Seoul that Mina is unaware of?

“I’ve been good,” Mina answers, cracking a smile, “Same old. What about you guys?”

Momo and Sana exchange knowing looks.

“Never been better!” Sana chirps.

“Same here,” Momo adds. 

“Oh.” Mina can’t help but feel a little out of place. Her two best friends seem so happy it makes her slightly envious. “I’m glad to hear that.”

Not for the first time, she wonders if leaving South Korea was the right choice.)

…

“Why did you ask Mina to pretend to be your girlfriend?” Dr. Manoban asks, voice calm and non-judgemental. 

Nayeon imagines that she’s in the middle of the ocean, sitting on a small raft. Beneath the surface is a world she’s been desperate to see for so long—a world that she’s only heard whispers of. Maybe it’s Atlantis, maybe it’s heaven even. All she knows is that if she lets go of the paddles and dive in from the safety of her raft, she’ll find Mina there. 

She imagines taking off her shoes. 

“Because I didn’t want Jennie to think I still hadn’t moved on from our break-up.”

She imagines taking a deep lungful of air. 

“But why ask Mina, specifically?” 

She imagines dipping her toes in and slipping into the depths. 

“Because I knew that she wouldn’t say no,” Nayeon answers quietly, closing her eyes and letting the memories of Mina overwhelm her. If she drowns, then so be it. 

…

(After catching up with their jobs and families, Mina finally understands why her two friends are blooming. It comes in the form of Sana’s smile every time she receives a text or the giggle in Momo’s voice when she picks up a call. It doesn’t take long for Mina to figure out that her best friends are in love but they just don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable about it.

“Guys,” she says when she sees Sana not so discreetly check her phone for the fifth time, “it’s okay—you don’t have to walk on eggshells around me when it comes to Jihyo and Jeongyeon.”

Momo winces. “Sorry, Minari,” she says, letting out a soft sigh, “It’s just—we didn’t want to remind you of…” 

“It’s fine,” Mina murmurs, waving away their concerns, “I’m fine.”

Sana squints at her, pursing her lips. “Has she contacted you in any way?”

Mina shakes her head. “No,” she answers, her voice hitching in her throat. She doesn’t know if she should feel disappointed or relieved at this fact.)

…

“Why did you think she wouldn’t say no?” Dr. Manoban asks, voice soft and gentle. She reminds Nayeon of Mina in some way and the thought is enough to push her into recalling the truth, no matter how painful it is. 

“I think a small part of me knew.” Nayeon opens her eyes and lets out a huff of air. She leans back on her chair, rubbing her hands together because they seem to have gone cold all of a sudden. “I saw that she was doing all these things for me and I subconsciously took advantage of that.” 

Dr. Manoban hums. “The subconscious and conscious are both difficult topics to breach into.” 

“You know what I mean.”

The therapist smiles, gesturing for her to continue. Nayeon picks at the skin around her nails. 

“I shouldn’t have asked her to pretend date me,” she mutters, “It only caused more problems and I just ended up looking pathetic and weak in front of Jennie anyway.” She pauses, remembering the conversation by the beach and hearing Jennie’s voice in the back of her mind. _You were enough_. Then why doesn’t she feel like it, even until now? 

“I think,” Dr. Manoban says carefully, “Mina knew what she was signing up for. I’m not saying this to absolve you of any guilt and regret but I’m saying that you didn’t do this on purpose, Nayeon-ssi.”

But Nayeon is already shaking her head. She knows that the therapist is only trying to give her an objective point of view regarding the whole situation. But Nayeon also knows that nothing will be enough to fix the reality of what she did in the end—break Mina’s heart in the worst of ways. 

Ever since Mina left for Japan, Nayeon hasn’t really talked about her. Each time Jeongyeon and the rest of her friends tried, she always shut down. It was better that way—it was easier to pretend that being left behind didn’t sting, that it didn’t hurt her when she was finally going to reach out, that she didn’t feel _so _stupid waiting outside Mina’s empty apartment for more than three hours. It was fine—she was fine.

She knows she isn’t. 

For the first time in five months, Nayeon finally opens up. 

“She told me she loved me,” she chokes out, squeezing her eyes shut as tears spilled from them, “and I told her that I didn’t feel the same way.” 

…

(“I know that you don’t want to talk about this,” Sana opens the conversation hesitantly. It always surprises Mina everytime Sana gets serious. It’s not like it doesn’t happen that often but the pink-haired girl is rarely not smiling. No Sana, no life, after all.

“Then don’t,” Mina says, monotone, even though her heart is rapidly thundering inside her ribcage. She doesn’t want to talk about Nayeon but at the same time, she’s dying to know how the other girl is. Five months of no contact is bound to do that to a person. It’s the same thing when a moth gets attracted to a flame without realizing the dangers. Mina feels like a moth, which is a strange thing to admit. She doesn’t want to get burned. Not again. 

Momo gives Sana a look. “Don’t push her,” she says, “If she doesn’t want to talk, then don't push."

“Momoring, Mitang…” Sana looks frustrated, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Not talking about things is what hurts people in the end.” 

Mina knows this. She hasn’t talked to anybody about this for the past five months. Sana and Momo have tried to get her to open up so many times already. Even her older brother has noticed her glum moods every now and then. But Mina has spent the last few years in South Korea with her head down and her innocent heart protected by inexperience.

Nayeon was the first risk she took and she lost her. 

She doesn’t want to be reminded of that.

But then Sana reaches out and intertwines her right hand with Mina’s left one. After a moment, Momo sighs and does the same thing. Mina looks up sharply, heart in her throat, as her two best friends gaze at her, not with pity in their eyes but rather understanding.

“We know that it hurts,” Sana whispers, smiling encouragingly at her, “and that’s why we’re here for you so that it’ll hurt less.” 

Mina couldn’t have asked for better friends—

Because they’re already sitting in front of her.)

…

Dr. Manoban doesn’t say anything for a long time. It sets Nayeon on edge so she finds herself filling in the silence by saying her thoughts out loud. It’s a strange feeling—letting everything out in the open—but at the same time, it helps to ease the tension from her shoulders. A weight has been lifted.

“A small part of me expected it,” she begins, swallowing the lump in her throat, “but the larger part of me never thought she’d outright say it. It’s easier to turn a blind eye to one’s feelings, especially when you can’t even make sense of your own.”

Dr. Manoban nods but continues to keep her silence. Nayeon thinks she knows what she’s doing. She’s not saying anything so that Nayeon will be forced to open up. It’s a good technique.

“There are many things I regret in the past year,” she whispers, voice so low that her therapist has to lean forward just to catch her words, “I regret not listening to my friends about my ex-girlfriend, I regret jumping into a relationship, even though it was fake, when I wasn’t over my old one and I regret hurting Mina whe—whe—when all she ever did was love me even when I couldn’t love myself.” 

Silence. Nayeon can hear her heart pounding loudly in her ears. She wipes at her eyes, sniffing. Dr. Manoban hands her a box of tissues just conveniently placed next to her. Nayeon smiles gratefully as she takes them and dabs at her cheeks. 

“But,” she continues, the said smile turning bitter, “what I regret the most is not telling her that I _did _love her. I just—I just didn’t want to get hurt all over again. That’s why I hurt her instead.”

Her therapist hums. They sit in a comfortable silence for the next few minutes. It takes a while for Nayeon to calm down and when she finally does, Dr. Manoban clears her throat and smooths down her pantsuit. It’s time to dig deep into Nayeon’s emotions again, pick apart at certain events in her life and shine a new light on it. It’s what they’ve been doing during the past few sessions. Dr. Manoban has a way with words that reconstructs Nayeon’s entire way of thinking. 

But this time, she doesn’t do that.

Instead, she looks at Nayeon with a thoughtful expression on her face. 

“Does Mina make you happy?” 

“Yes.” No hesitation. Just the truth.

“Does Mina want to make you try again?

“Yes.”

“If she was here right now, would you tell her the same things you’ve told me?” 

Nayeon swallows painfully. “Yes,” she says after a moment’s pause. It’ll hurt but she’d do it in a heartbeat. “I would.” 

Dr. Manoban nods, apparently satisfied. She jots down a few things on her clipboard, letting the silence take over again. Nayeon’s eyes are sore from crying but she squints anyway, trying to read what her therapist has written down. When the doctor realizes what she’s doing, she chuckles and puts the board away. “Tell me something, Nayeon-ssi,” she says.

“Okay?” 

The therapist folds her hands on top of her knees and stares at Nayeon with a blank expression. “What will it take for you to realize that some people are worth getting hurt over?” she asks. 

…

(“Do you still love her?”

Mina’s heart stills when she hears Momo’s question. She resists the urge to slide her hand from under Sana’s. It feels like there are sharp, painful needles in the back of her throat, making it harder to breathe. She can always lie and say that she’s already moved on. She knows her friends would let it go. They’ve always been supportive that way.

But then again, Nayeon has left a mark on her. Like a tattoo you thought you’d cherish forever but end up regretting later on. Like a movie you can watch over and over again and still end up crying on when you reach the end credits. Like a book you’ve read a hundred times, hoping that something has changed, even though you know nothing hasn’t.

If Mina is to move to America and find some new girl to love, she knows it wouldn’t compare to how she feels for Nayeon. She might even grow to be happy in the future. She might even forget about Nayeon in the end but it still wouldn’t change anything.

Nayeon will always be in her thoughts. 

After all, she never left. 

“Yes.”)

…

Nayeon leaves Dr. Manoban’s office fifteen minutes later, unsure of what to feel. On one hand, she’s glad that she’s finally let some things out but at the same time, she feels like a heavier weight has replaced the one she just released. She walks over to her Maserati, almost in a daze, and sits in the driver’s seat for the next half hour. 

_What will it take for you to realize that some people are worth getting hurt over_? 

She knows Mina is worth it.

She knows Mina deserves the world.

She knows she doesn’t deserve her. 

Frustrated at her self-deprecating thoughts and the never-ending routine of hating herself, Nayeon slams her fists on the steering wheel of the car. In return, the glove compartment suddenly pops open and something heavy falls out. She sighs, rubbing at her still sore eyes, and looks over to see what it was. 

Her heart stutters. 

It’s the handbook—the one she jokingly made in a single night because she wanted Mina to get to know her better. As her fingers curl around the folder, her eyes catch on the words printed on the first page: _The Im Nayeon Handbook: Everything You Need To Know About South Korea’s Hot Girl_. A humorless laugh bubbles past her lips when she remembers Mina’s reaction to it: _Is this like a crash course or something_?

She skims through the pages and remembers how Mina took all of it in, even asking questions to dig deeper into her life. A part of Nayeon hoped that the younger girl took it with her to Japan or even just left it at her apartment. At least then she’ll always have a physical reminder of Nayeon. Unfortunately, this is not the case. She tries not to let this affect her. She’s about to put the handbook away when she catches sight of something.

Mina’s handwriting. 

Nayeon stops. Her breath catches in her throat. She leans back on her seat, puts the folder on her lap and starts from the very beginning. Under a few facts she’s written about herself, Mina has added her own thoughts about them, paired with a bunch of cutely drawn emojis. It hurts Nayeon when she imagines Mina remembering everything she tells her and then going home to write all of them down in the handbook. 

Nayeon wrote ‘_My birthday is on September 22’_ and Mina put ‘**She would pick Squirtle as her starter pokemon**_._’ Nayeon wrote ‘_My favorite movie is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’_ and Mina added ‘**Her favorite Avenger is Iron Man. Good choice ****👍**.’ Nayeon wrote _‘I got into a car accident years ago. My left leg is weaker than my right_’ and Mina wrote _‘_**She planned to get braces when she was a kid. I’m glad she didn’t. She looks beautiful just the way she is 🥰**.’

For every detail Nayeon gave, Mina took note of more.

_I’ve been best friends with Jeongyeon and Jihyo since kindergarten_.

**She makes fun of those two but it’s obvious that she misses them a lot. **

_My ideal number of kids is three. One boy and two girls. _

**The most fool-proof way to get into Im Nayeon’s heart is through babies. She LOVES babies. If she encounters one on the streets, she’ll beg the mom to let her hold them.**

_I’m scared of fireworks. _

**She doesn’t know how to swim. Maybe I should teach her? **

_I’d like to end up with someone who is good with technology_ _since I’m not good with them in the first place_.

**…Nayeonnie, I’m an IT major ** **😭😭😭**

_I don’t believe in soulmates but I believe that we all have somebody waiting for us out there_.

**I’m here. I’ve always been here.**

Little confessions that Nayeon didn’t notice—laid open right in front of her.

She doesn’t have any tears left to shed but her heart aches and longs for the girl who loved her with every fiber of her being and she threw it all away just because she was scared. Once she finishes reading through everything Mina has added in the folder, she continues to sit there in the parking lot. It feels like a veil has been lifted from her eyes. She can’t help but find it funny that most of her life-changing realizations are made in the confines of her car. 

Turning the key into the ignition, she comes to a decision. 

…

(“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Mina says after she just basically confessed to still having feelings for the girl who broke her heart. She gives Momo and Sana her best fake smile, even though it hurts to do so, and plays around with the rest of her chocolate moist cake. She doesn’t have that much of an appetite anymore. The weight of their stare is suffocating. 

“What do you mean ‘it doesn’t matter’?” Sana presses, squeezing Mina’s hands with her own, “Of course it matters—it’s what _you _feel, after all.” 

“She doesn’t love me, okay?” Mina nearly snaps, voice shaking, “I’m just an idiot who can’t move on from heartbreak. Pathetic, right?”

“It’s not,” Momo insists, “You loved someone who didn’t love you back. That just doesn’t go away with a snap of your fingers. Sometimes, we don’t have a choice but to just _endure_.” 

Of course Mina knows this—she’s been enduring the pain for the past several months.

She laughs weakly. “Sometimes,” she says, raising her eyes, “I wish I could do just that.”

“Mitang…” Sana’s eyes are shining. Mina looks away.

“You can’t speed up the healing process,” Momo tells her. 

“Yeah.” The bitterness in Mina’s voice feels like poison on her tongue. “I can’t stop myself from feeling like this but there is something else I can do.” 

“And what’s that?” Momo asks, a slight challenge in her tone. 

Mina meets her gaze head-on, her jaw locking.

“Move to America.”

…

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (9:01 PM)**

Hiiii i’m home now!!! **🥰**

**🌈** ** Jigglypuff ** **🌈** ** (9:03 PM)**

That’s good! I’m glad you’re safe. How was Mina? 

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (9:04 PM)**

not good **😭😭😭**

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (9:05 PM)**

her brother offered her a job in america

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (9:05 PM)**

and she’s taking it!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱

**🌈** ** Jigglypuff ** **🌈** ** (9:06 PM)**

Wait, WHAT?

**🌈** ** Jigglypuff ** **🌈** ** (9:07 PM)**

**😱😱😱**

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (9:08 PM)**

she thinks it will help her move on from nayeon

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (9:09 PM)**

shes still not over her **😭**

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (9:09 PM)**

mina always thinks that running away from her problems is the best solution **😭😭**

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (9:10 PM)**

this is literally the third time she’s moving countries!!!!

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (9:10 PM)**

all bc the girl she loves doesnt love her back…..

**🌈** ** Jigglypuff ** **🌈** ** (9:12 PM)**

Sana…. Nayeon asked me not to tell you this but…

**🌈** ** Jigglypuff ** **🌈** ** (9:14 PM)**

Nayeon DOES love Mina.

**🌈** ** Jigglypuff ** **🌈** ** (9:15 PM)**

She was just afraid of putting her heart on the line again.

**My Partner ** **✨** ** (9:16 PM)**

[_My Partner _**✨**_ is calling_]

…

**NO SANA NO LIFE ** **💋** ** (7:05 AM)**

good morning momo-chan!!! 😅

**NO SANA NO LIFE ** **💋** ** (7:05 AM)**

i know that we agreed to go back to sk together but plans change 😅😅

**NO SANA NO LIFE ** **💋** ** (7:06 AM)**

i just booked an early flight last night and im leaving now!!! hehehehehehe

**NO SANA NO LIFE ** **💋** ** (7:06 AM)**

theres somebody i need to talk to ✊✊✊

**NO SANA NO LIFE ** **💋** ** (8:35 AM)**

Im getting on my flight now!!! i’ll see u back home 👋👋

**NO SANA NO LIFE ** **💋** ** (8:35 AM)**

Also!!! Pls keep convincing mina to stay here in asia!!!!! :<<<

**NO SANA NO LIFE ** **💋** ** (8:36 AM)**

we cant lose her again

**Moguri ** **💃💃💃** ** (11:12 AM)**

Sana??? Wth i just woke up??

**Moguri ** **💃💃💃** ** (11:15 AM)**

[_You have seven missed calls_]

…

**My Wife ** **👩** **‍** **❤** **️‍** **👩** ** (12:42 PM)**

Hey babe. I’m sorry to interrupt you at work but can you give me Nayeon’s home address?

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (12:44 PM)**

im starting to think u like nayeon more than me…. 

**My Wife ** **👩** **‍** **❤** **️‍** **👩** ** (12:45 PM)**

Don’t be jealous 😇 You know I’m yours right?

**My Wife ** **👩** **‍** **❤** **️‍** **👩** ** (12:46 PM)**

But it’s urgent and Sana really needs it.

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (12:47 PM)**

Sana? why would she need nayeons address? Cant she get it from jihyo?

**My Wife ** **👩** **‍** **❤** **️‍** **👩** ** (12:48 PM)**

Apparently she doesn’t want Jihyo to know.

**My Wife ** **👩** **‍** **❤** **️‍** **👩** ** (12:50 PM)**

I think they got into a fight last night? 

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (12:51 PM)**

question 

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (12:51 PM)**

how scary is sana when shes mad? 

**My Wife ** **👩** **‍** **❤** **️‍** **👩** ** (12:52 PM)**

Scarier than me.

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (12:53 PM)**

[_Location sent_] 

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (12:54 PM)**

I think i know what shes going to do with nayeon 👁️👄👁️

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (12:54 PM)**

So im gonna go prepare a funeral for my grandma now hihi brb

**My Wife ** **👩** **‍** **❤** **️‍** **👩** ** (12:55 PM)**

Babe no.

…

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (1:31 PM)**

So… I might’ve done something I shouldn’t have last night.

**The Cuter Yoo 🤢 (1:40 PM)**

Oh no… if YOU think its bad then its def bad 😬

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (1:41 PM)**

I might’ve told Sana about Nayeon’s feelings for Mina.

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (1:42 PM)**

And Sana may or may not be on her way to Nayeon’s apartment right now.

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (1:43 PM)**

Well, that’s according to Chaeyoung, anyway.

**The Cuter Yoo 🤢 (1:47 PM)**

wait… wasnt sana in japan yesterday???

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (1:49 PM)**

She flew back this morning.

**The Cuter Yoo 🤢 (1:51 PM)**

JFC good luck nabongs press f to pay respects 🙏

**The Cuter Yoo 🤢 (1:51 PM)**

Also ur gf is scary af jihyo-yah

**THAT ONE MOM FRIEND ** **💁** ** (1:52 PM)**

I don’t know if I should be terrified or turned on 🤷

**The Cuter Yoo 🤢 (1:53 PM)**

Ok TMI 🖕🖕🖕

…

**Brother from Another Mother 🤘 (2:04 PM)**

jihyo just called me

**Brother from Another Mother 🤘 (2:05 PM)**

did u give out nayeons address to a rabid minatozaki sana……? 😱😱

**BRO ** **👊** ** (2:06 PM)**

bro i just got married

**BRO ** **👊** ** (2:07 PM)**

cant take care of tzuyu if im dead so better nayeon than me lmao 😜

**Brother from Another Mother 🤘 (2:09 PM)**

damn it chaeng

**Brother from Another Mother 🤘 (2:10 PM)**

u threw her under the bus 

**Brother from Another Mother 🤘 (2:10 PM)**

now we (bc jihyo considers dubchaeng as one single unit) have to pay the price

**BRO ** **👊** ** (2:12 PM)**

[_surprised Pikachu meme._jpg]

**BRO ** **👊** ** (2:14 PM)**

what do we have to do now….. 

**Brother from Another Mother 🤘 (2:15 PM)**

look outside

**BRO ** **👊** ** (2:17 PM)**

why r u and jihyo waiting outside my office…

**BRO ** **👊** ** (2:19 PM)**

and HOW the hell did u rope my wife (eek wife!!! 😍😍😍) into this whole plan??

**Brother from Another Mother 🤘 (2:21 PM)**

get in loser

**Brother from Another Mother 🤘 (2:22 PM)**

we're going to seoul

**BRO ** **👊** ** (2:23 PM)**

[_ah shit here we go again GTA meme._jpg_._]

…


	7. only longing grows pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Where Nayeon and Mina make a choice.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you start, it would mean a lot to me if you could, idk, post your reactions on Twitter or something? You're more than welcome to tag me in your tweets! I don't mind. In fact, I'll probably cry if you do that. Anyway, we're here at the very end. It's been WEEKS of torture but we're finally here. Also, if some of you don't agree with my ending choice, then you can hit me up in my DMs. I'll explain my reasoning but hopefully, most of you will understand. I've seen a lot of people torn between hating Nayeon and feeling sorry for her. I've also seen people getting frustrated at Mina. Now, before you start reading this chapter, I want you to understand that I tried to make this story as realistic as possible and even based a couple of events in real-life. If you were in Nayeon or Mina's shoes, would you do the same thing they've done? 
> 
> Let me know once you finish! 
> 
> Also, what the heck. Use the #NayeonWhy tag if you want to post your reactions.
> 
> Enjoy!

…

There’s somebody knocking on Nayeon’s door. For a split second, she thinks it’s Mina, having returned from Japan, but that kind of wishful thinking isn’t going to get her anywhere. Frankly, it makes her feel more pathetic than normal. She stands up from her dining table, shutting the project that she’s currently working on, and walks over to the entrance. She doesn’t bother checking through the peephole, thinking that it’s just Jeongyeon.

Wrong.

Sana is standing on the other side, expression murderous and arms crossed. She looks… well, Nayeon isn’t sure how to describe it. She looks beautiful, as usual, but her hair is a mess, her eyes are bloodshot and for the first time since they’ve met, she isn’t smiling. Nayeon remembers that one instance, the morning after Mina left the wedding, when Sana looked so furious that it actually struck fear in her heart. 

This is that same look but amplified a hundred times more. 

“Uhm,” Nayeon says, instinctively stepping back, “how did you—?” 

“I have my connections,” Sana quips, walking into the apartment without waiting for an invitation, “Anyway, Nayeon-ssi, I’ve just come from a four-hour flight straight from Japan so I’m going to make this quick before I collapse on your couch—”

“Wait, you just came from Japan?” 

Sana sighs, looking annoyed at being interrupted. She drops her purse on the table where Nayeon was doing her mini project and faces the older girl. “Yes,” she says so patiently that it’s obvious she’s impatient, “I’m _literally _fresh from Japan! I wouldn’t be here—looking like _this_, mind you—if it wasn’t important, you know.” 

“So…” Nayeon stands in the middle of her living room, feeling so confused at Sana’s sudden appearance that her brain literally can’t keep up with these abrupt turn of events. “Why are you here again?” 

Sana lets out another sigh and takes a step closer. “Nayeon-ssi,” she says, raising both eyebrows at her, “I just came back from Japan—where _Mina_ is.”

Nayeon stills, heart jumping straight up her throat. 

“Oh.” She pushes down the hope that flares up in her chest. “Did she say anything?”

“She said plenty.”

“I…” Nayeon doesn’t know what to say. She’s rarely talked to Mina’s friends after the wedding, knowing just how much they hated her guts. So having Sana here in her apartment is something she never expected to happen in a million years. She folds her arms around herself and leans against the wall, looking at the other girl with a perplexed expression. “What do you want me to say to that?” she asks. 

Sana’s shoulders drop. “I was hoping you’d say the truth for once,” she mutters, looking disappointedly at her. It makes Nayeon’s skin crawl.

“What truth are you talking about?” she says, her voice low. She has a feeling that Sana is going to be relentless. 

The pink-haired girl scoffs and shakes her head. “The one where you’re in love with Mina,” she says, eyes narrowed and lips pursed, "and you're too much of a coward to do anything about it."

Nayeon feels like somebody’s doused her with cold water. It’s an unpleasant sensation and it makes her slide down the wall behind her, legs growing weak. Sana's expression doesn't waver and Nayeon hates that hers did because she probably looks guilty right now. This is the last thing she wants—somebody else seeing right through her. 

"What makes you think I'm in love with her?" she asks, voice hoarse.

"Don't bother lying," Sana says, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, "Jihyo told me everything."

_Jihyo. _Nayeon grits her teeth, feeling the hot sting of betrayal stab her insides. "Is that why you're here?" she asks, straightening her back in order to regain some semblance of dignity, "So that you can hurt me in behalf of Mina?" 

"I think you've already done that to yourself," Sana mutters spitefully. 

The words sting. "Well." Nayeon rubs her hands against her knees, heart still rattling inside her chest. "You're not wrong there." 

"Then that means you know how badly the two of you are hurting right now." 

"I might be an idiot but I'm not stupid, Sana-ssi," Nayeon grumbkes as she tilts her chin, "I know what I did. I know I broke her heart." 

"Then why aren't you doing anything to _fix_ it?" Sana's voice rises in volume, shrill and upset, and Nayeon flinches. This is probably the closest thing she'll ever get to Mina yelling at her because she knows Mina never will. Sana will have to do. 

"Because I'm trying to fix myself first, okay?" she snaps, shooting Sana a glare, "You think I don't want to make things right with her? That it doesn't hurt me to know that she's somewhere out there in pain because of a piece of shit like me? Please—I'm not _that cruel_." 

"With the way things are, you might as well be." 

“Sana, please—”

“Cherophobia,” Sana says suddenly and it sounds like she just sneezed, “do you know what that means?”

“Is that in English—?”

“It means the fear of happiness.” Sana’s eyes stare straight into her soul and Nayeon swallows the lump in her throat. “You deliberately ruined whatever chance you had with Mina because you’re afraid that one day, she’s going to hurt you, just like what your ex-girlfriend did. Am I wrong?”

Silence. You can hear a pin drop.

Nayeon lets out an aggravated sigh as she twists her hands, trying to get some sort of feeling to return to them. "I don't deserve her," she says simply and the truth _aches_, "I never have and I never will." 

Sana takes a step forward, lips pulled back into a snarl that makes her look suspiciously like a rabid animal. "Then tell that to her face and let her decide if she thinks so too," she spits. Before Nayeon can respond, Sana throws her hands up in the air and paces around the apartment, spewing out words so fast that Nayeon can barely get anything in—

"I don't understand why you _refuse _to talk to Mitang about this! Look, I get that you've been through shit with that ex-girlfriend of yours but is communication really _that _difficult of a concept to get through your head? Or are you just the type of person who loves to inflict drama in the lives of other people? Maybe a part of you gets off on making poor, innocent girls _miserable_—"

"Stop it," Nayeon half-yells, anguished and pained, turning her face away, "You don't know anything about me."

"You're right," Sana interrupts harshly, hands on her waist, "I don't, but I _know_ Mina." Silence. Sana lets Nayeon breathe for a couple of seconds before continuing, "And for some reason, even after _everything _you put her through, she still loves you." 

Nayeon closes her eyes, the waves of longing crashing straight into her. _She still loves you. _

"So help me God." Sana lets out a humorless laugh when Nayeon doesn't say anything. "Just _please _talk to her because I'm not going to sit here and watch you ruin what could possibly the best thing for the two of you just because you're _scared _she'll hurt you. I'm not going to let one of the people I care about just pack up and leave for America—"

Something in Nayeon's brain short-circuits. "America?" she repeats, dumbfounded, “Like _America-_America?”

"Yes, America!" Sana says in return, flailing her arms and bouncing on her two feet. She resembles a dog desperate to leave the house after not being let out for an entire day. "You know? Hollywood sign? Big flag with stars and an eagle? _That _America? That's why I'm here, you moron!" 

"Mina's leaving again?" The screws in Nayeon's brain resemble rusty clockwork with how slow it takes for her to understand the gravity of the situation. "Because of me?"

Sana walks over until she's a few feet away from Nayeon. Her features are full of determination. She takes the older girl's shoulders and squeezes so tight that Nayeon winces. "She was offered a job there by her brother," she says carefully and Nayeon can hear a slight accent in her voice, "One thing I've learned about Mina over the years is that she _always_ leaves when things start getting rough. It happened in high school and it's happening again. If putting distance between you and her will help her forget you, then…" 

Nayeon watches as tears fill Sana's hazel eyes and her lower lip wobbles. Her heart feels like somebody just ran over it with an armored tank. _She _did this. "Sana…" she whispers, not sure what to do with her hands. 

"_Please_," Sana sobs. It could be because of jet lag or the fact that she hasn't gotten any sleep but she breaks down right in the middle of Nayeon's apartment. "Just… _talk _to her. If I have to watch Mina jump on a plane for the third time in my life, I wouldn't be able to bear it. I—I—I _can't _lose one of my best friends. Not again." 

Nayeon looks over Sana's shoulder and at the dining table. Her little project sits there, waiting to be finished. She imagines Mina sitting under a cherry blossom tree, admiring the leaves with a small smile on her face. She imagines Mina reading a book in a coffee shop, surrounded by her people, bottom lip caught between her teeth. She imagines Mina in her hometown, still thinking of her and maybe… waiting for her too? 

Nayeon closes her eyes and remembers Dr. Manoban's words: _what will it take for you to realize that some people are worth getting hurt over? _

…

(_Tell me what you waiting for_, Mina writes in her diary, glancing around her room. Are the days she'll spend in this place now numbered? How long will it be before she'll get to sleep on her childhood bed again? Five months seem so little when you have somewhere else to go. 

The thought makes her nauseous.

_It's taking you too long_

_What you waiting for?_

_What you waiting for?_

_What you waiting for?_

_Just know you're not alone_

_What you waiting for?_

Mina knows the answer—

_Nayeon._)

…

Sana crashes on Nayeon's couch for the next few hours, exhausted from her flight and her breakdown. Nayeon texts Jihyo about this, no longer upset that her secret has been outed. She understands why Jihyo did what she did. She'd do the same thing if given the choice. 

Jihyo wants the best for her, the same way Sana wants the best for Mina. 

And this is why Nayeon's in the middle of finishing her little project while Sana sleeps peacefully. Ever since her last session with Dr. Manoban, she's been trying to finish it in between work hours. She just hopes the end product will be worth it. 

She feels a little stupid, doing something as mundane as finishing this small project, especially if she weighs in the fact that Mina could literally be on her way to the airport now. Still, Sana assured her that Mina won't be leaving for a few more days, still trying to work out some documents about her passport. Nayeon has time, even though it feels like she doesn't. 

Mina's leaving for America… 

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder but Nayeon feels the opposite of that. The distance between them has always been unbearable. When Mina left the wedding all those months ago, she took Nayeon's heart with her. If she takes it all the way to America, the pain would be unimaginable. 

Nayeon shakes her head, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her. She's always been irrational when she's overwhelmed. And she needs to be calm and collected now. The last time she made an irrational decision, it cost her Mina. If she wants Mina to stay in Asia, she has to plan each step carefully. 

Apparently, the universe thinks otherwise. 

Somebody knocks on the door—frantic and rapid. Nayeon nearly has a heart attack. Sana shifts on that couch, apparently unfazed by what sounds to be three sets of fists pounding on the wooden frame. Nayeon stands up from the dining table and rushes over. 

"_Unnie_!" It's Dahyun and Chaeyoung, arms spread wide open with identical grins on their faces. Behind them are Jeongyeon, Jihyo and Tzuyu, looking tired but happy to see her. 

Nayeon seriously needs to look into the peephole more often. 

"I'm not in the mood for a party," she grumbles, not wanting to be confronted for the second time in a row.

"We're not here for a party," Jeongyeon says, pushing her way inside and heading straight into Nayeon's room, "Jesus, Nabongs, you haven't even packed yet?"

"Packed—?" Oh God, Nayeon needs a drink. She doesn't think she can handle all of her friends just barging into her apartment and saying things that'll give her an aneurysm.

Jihyo looks around the apartment before she spots Sana on the couch. She raises one finger at Nayeon, clearly telling her to give her a minute, before she rushes over to her girlfriend. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Nayeon demands wearily. She'll always be happy to see her friends but this is definitely not the time for a small reunion. She _needs _to formulate a plan, after all, and she can't do that if she has six people in her place. 

"What do you think?" Dahyun asks, wrapping her up in a hug, "We're here to help!" 

"Help in what way?" Nayeon barely manages to return the embrace before Chaeyoung shoves Dahyun out of the way and hugs her too. 

"Isn't it obvious?" the shorter girl says, laughing, "Get The Girl, of course!" 

"The Girl…?" Yup. Nayeon definitely needs a drink. Is this a fever dream of some sorts? She's _so _confused. "Do you mean Mina?"

"Who else?" Dahyun asks, now walking around Nayeon's place like she owns it. 

Chaeng joins her best friend and now Nayeon is left looking at Tzuyu questionably, eyebrows raised in obvious confusion. Tzuyu smiles, dimple on her left cheek peeking out, as she reaches over and squeezes Nayeon's hand. 

"Long story short," the younger girl says, "We know about Mina leaving for America and we're here to help you." 

"I get that but how do you guys plan—" 

There's a loud _thud_ from Nayeon's bedroom and she sighs, feeling like ten years of her life span has just been taken away, before she rushes over to the source of the sound. She finds Jeongyeon inside, rubbing her temple, with a suitcase by her feet. She must've pulled it down from the top of the closet and hit her head with it. _Good_.

"Okay," Jeong mutters, wincing, as she turns to open a few drawers with Nayeon's stuff inside, "Where do you keep your good underwear?" 

"My good underwear—?" Bold of her best friend to assume that she has any bad underwear.

"Yeah, if all goes well, you're probably going to need them." Jeongyeon shoots her a smirk. "Do you think you'll be getting frisky on this trip?"

"_Frisky_—?" Nayeon feels like a broken record, repeating everything that's been thrown at her. She's never been that religious but now, she's wishing that she had half of Dahyun's patience to deal with this whole thing. 

"I'm packing the blouse we bought one time. It looked really good on you. I just have to find it in your mess of a closet. Jesus, Nabongs, do you _not _arrange your clothes by color? Anyway. The _blouse_. Where is it? Oh damn, Mina's going to lose her mind when she sees you aga—" 

Nayeon shakes her head, feeling panicky. Why is Jeongyeon packing her things? Why are the rest of her friends here from their hometown? Why does it feel like she won't be able to create the perfect plan to get Mina to stay here in Asia?

"Just hold on," she says, hands raised helplessly, "I think you guys are _rushing_ into this—" 

"Rushing?" Somebody repeats from behind her. Nayeon twists around to find Jihyo and Sana standing by the doorway to her room, apparently having made up from their fight the previous night. Now Sana is hugging her girlfriend from behind, looking absolutely giddy and content. Jihyo is staring at Nayeon expectantly. 

“Yes,” Nayeon says seriously, taking a step forward, “Rushing. I can’t just—_you know_—pack up my stuff, head over to Japan and confess my undying love for Mina outside her door in the middle of the night!” 

“Why not?” Sana asks, pouting, “I bet she’d love that.” 

“Yes, Nayeon,” Jihyo says with a frown, “Why can’t you do just that?” 

Jeongyeon continues to pack but at a slower pace now. Her eyes dart between Nayeon and Jihyo, clearly at edge with the heavy tension in the room. “Guys,” she says nervously, “we all want the same thing here.” 

“Do we, really?” Nayeon demands, eyes narrowed.

“We want you to be happy, unnie,” Dahyun says from behind Jihyo. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu have also joined in the conversation, watching things unfold with encouraging expressions. Nayeon can’t help but feel like she’s being cornered. Her walls are trying to come up again—the same walls she’s desperately taken apart the past few weeks—and she has to take a deep breath to stop herself from shutting her friends out. Not this time. 

“I just—” Nayeon lets out a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut, “I—I—I need a plan, okay? I don’t want to mess it up. Not again.”

Silence. Then she feels Jihyo’s arms wrapping around her, quickly followed by Jeongyeon hugging her from behind. Her two best friends squeeze her tightly, trying to let her know, without needing any words, just how much they understand. Jihyo’s head is tucked under Nayeon’s chin and Jeongyeon’s lips are pressed on Nayeon’s shoulder, murmuring ‘_it’s okay_’ over and over again. 

“Sometimes, unnie,” Tzuyu says suddenly and Nayeon opens her eyes to find the younger girl taking a step forward and handing her a one-way plane ticket to Japan, “we don’t need plans when it comes to love. We just _do _it.” 

Nayeon nods, tears filling her eyes. 

“Your plane leaves in two hours,” Jihyo tells her, pulling back with a soft smile, “so you better pack up and get the girl. Do you know how expensive on-the-spot plane tickets are?” 

Nayeon laughs weakly, looking down at the piece of paper in her hand. Nothing has ever felt more important this. She _can’t _waste it. “I haven’t even booked a hotel or anything yet,” she mumbles and it seems _silly_—worrying about those kinds of things when all that matters is Mina. 

“I got you covered there,” Tzuyu pipes up, smirking, “If you need any cash while you’re in Japan, just give me a call.” 

“Seriously…” Tzuyu didn’t really have to offer but she knows that Nayeon’s money has been going into her therapy sessions. Nayeon feels so grateful that she can’t help but cry.

“And you don’t have to worry about getting lost,” Sana says from behind Tzuyu as she leans on the doorway, smiling brightly, “I texted Momo that you’re coming. She’ll meet you at the airport.” 

“Sana…” Nayeon thinks about their conversation earlier and feels a hundred times worse when she remembers that Sana isn’t really doing this for her—she’s doing it for Mina. 

“Don’t get all sappy on me now,” Sana remarks, crossing her arms, “I’m still mad at you.” 

Nayeon nods. “I get that.” 

Dahyun suddenly pats Chaeyoung on the back _hard_. “Hey, we’re useful too!” the silver-haired girl exclaims, grinning broadly, “I’m the one driving you to the airport!” 

“And I’m the one who has to make sure we don’t crash into anything,” Chaeyoung mutters, wincing at the impact of Dahyun’s slap, “What the fuck, bro…” 

Jeongyeon shakes Nayeon’s shoulders from behind. “Come on, then,” she says, “Let’s get you out of here.” 

…

(It’s late. 

Mina wraps her arms around herself, staring up at the moon from her balcony window. She knows that it won’t look any different from any point in the world but she can’t help but try to memorize the way it looks up in the night sky. This could be the last time she’ll find herself watching the moon from her room here in Japan, after all. She wonders if Nayeon is looking at it too. Maybe she’s also thinking of her? 

She closes her eyes, breathes in deeply and listens to the song playing in the background:

_At night when the stars_

_Light up my room_

_I sit by myself_

_Talking to the moon_

_Tryin' to get to you_

_In hopes you're on_

_The other side_

_Talking to me too_.)

…

Nayeon spends the four-hour plane ride finishing her little project in the confines of her plane seat. It’s cramped and tight and the guy on the seat next to her keeps hitting her elbow but it’ll have to do. She was nearly finished with it when Sana showed up to her door earlier that afternoon so she’s just adding a few touches here and there. Now, with only an hour left before they land, the project is sitting on top of her knees, waiting to be read by the one person it was made for. 

She glances outside into the night sky, grateful that Jihyo got her a window seat, and finds the moon high up in the clouds. It’s beautiful—lighting up the world during times of darkness. She hasn’t always been the type of person to stare up at the clouds all the time but now she wishes she did this more often. Because the moon reminds her of Mina. Always there, always has been. Just waiting for her. 

_I’m here_, Nayeon says in her head, closing her eyes and remembering Mina’s smile_, I’m coming_.

…

(Mina can’t sleep.

No matter how many times she twists and turns in her bed, she can’t get her brain to shut down. Not even Ray’s presence next to her can stop her thoughts from running. So she lies there on top of her mattress, staring up at the ceiling, with her heart in her throat.

She can’t help but feel like she’s waiting for something to happen.)

…

“Took you long enough,” Momo says when Nayeon emerges from the airport terminal with her suitcase behind her. The other girl looks like she just got of bed, hair tied in a messy bun and upper half of her body clad with a fluffy sweater. She rises to her feet, eyeing Nayeon carefully. 

“Hi,” Nayeon says, forcing a small smile. She doesn’t really know how to act around Momo, especially with how badly they left things off a few months ago. Still, this is Jeongyeon’s girlfriend, after all, and she wants things to work out between them.

Momo, thankfully, returns the smile. “It’s nearly midnight,” she says, glancing at her watch, “I don’t think you should go over to Mina’s right now.”

“It’s fine.” Nayeon needs a good night’s sleep if she wants to conserve her energy to see Mina soon. The thought of it is enough to keep her away, though. She doesn’t know if she’ll get a wink of rest tonight. 

When they leave the airport, there’s already a taxi waiting for them outside. Momo clambers inside and Nayeon follows after her. 

“Tzuyu booked you a hotel?” Momo asks, going over her messages from Sana.

“Yeah.”

“Lucky. Which one?”

“Kobe Portopia Hotel,” Nayeon answers, reading from the details Tzuyu sent on her phone a few hours before. 

Momo whistles, impressed. “Ah. Tzuyu only knows the best,” she says and then tells the driver of their destination. It’ll take roughly an hour so Momo informs Nayeon that she’s going to nap for a while. Nayeon nods, not really in the mood to talk. She’s restless. It feels like her heart is going to burst out of her ribcage soon. There’s little space in her brain to think about anything else but Mina so she watches the surroundings pass by the window and imagines a younger Mina passing through these same streets.

Kobe is… not really different from Seoul. Even though it’s the middle of the night, the city is still alive. Not as alive as Seoul but Kobe offers the same restless energy Nayeon feels in her bones right now. It’s nearing winter already so most of the people are wearing large coats and sweaters to fight off the cold. She spots open noodle kitchens, Karaoke bars, convenience stores and 100 Yen shops on the streets. It’s different but familiar at the same time. 

Nayeon wonders how Mina got through her lonely years in South Korea. It must’ve been difficult—leaving everything behind just to pursue a future in a foreign country. No wonder Mina felt the need to return home after the wedding… when everything fell apart between them.

Nayeon leans her head against the window, closes her eyes and promises herself that she’ll make it right with Mina tomorrow. 

When they get to the hotel, Nayeon lightly shakes Momo’s shoulder. “Hey, my stop’s here,” she says, already pulling out a wad of Japanese bills from her pocket. 

Momo shakes her head, sitting up. “It’s fine,” she says, “I’ll pay.”

“But—”

“Nayeon-ssi,” Momo mumbles exasperatedly, pushing the money away, “It would be rude of me to let a guest pay. It’s fine, I promise.” 

Nayeon stares at her. “Why are you helping me?” she asks after a moment. She doesn’t care if the meter is running or that the driver is possibly waiting for her to leave the car already. This is something she’s wanted to ask Momo the second she landed in Japan. Why _is _Momo helping her? The last time they saw each other, she looked ready to claw her eyes out after realizing that Mina had left the wedding early. Forgive Nayeon for being blunt but it’s better to know what people’s intentions are. She learned this the hard way. 

Momo smirks at her. “I’m just picking you up from the airport and dropping you off at the hotel,” she says, “I hardly think this is _helping_.” 

“You know what I mean.” 

“Yeah, of course I do.” Momo shrugs. “Maybe I just don’t want my girlfriend’s best friend to hate me, that’s all.” 

Nayeon knows there’s a deeper reason than that. Perhaps it doesn’t need to be said out loud. A part of her is aware that Mina will always hold a special place in Momo’s heart and another part of her also understands that she’ll have to accept this sooner or later. With this in mind, she reaches forward and squeezes Momo’s hand. 

“Thank you,” she whispers, meaning it. 

Momo looks at her, gaze calculative. “I’m not doing this for you,” she says, “you know that, right?” 

_I’m doing this for Mina_. 

It’s unspoken but it can be heard loud and clear.

Nayeon says, “of course” and lets go.

Momo nods, satisfied, and doesn’t say anything else when Nayeon gets out of the taxi. 

…

(For some reason, when Mina wakes up the next day, there’s a new weight to bear. Feeling burdened by the past few months isn’t new but she can feel a knot of tension in her shoulders and underlying nerves at the pit of her stomach. It’s like her body knows something her brain isn’t aware of yet. The thought is both comforting and terrifying.

She looks outside the window and wonders what’s coming.)

…

Nayeon doesn’t need a plan. 

Well, that’s what her friends told her anyway.

But she still finds herself standing in front of the closest cafe she found on Google Maps, waiting for Momo to show up. It’s ten o’clock in the morning. The streets are full of people bustling around to their next destination. She makes sure to keep her head lowered, unsure if Korean customs are similar to Japanese ones. 

“Hey.” Momo pops up next to her, black cap topped on her head. “Did you wait long?”

“Not really.” Nayeon feels slightly better with the other girl here, even if their relationship is new territory. Navigating a new country is a challenge, after all. Besides, she can’t exactly order what she wants if she doesn’t have Momo with her. "Did you eat yet?" 

"Yeah." Momo glances at the cafe behind them. "Is this where you're going to eat?" 

"Well, yeah. They sell bagels here." Nayeon's heart clenches at the thought. It's a reminder that Mina is closer than she ever has been for the past several months. 

“What, you like bagels or something?” 

“You can say that.” Nayeon doesn’t know what compels her to say the next words. “Do you like coffee, Momo-yah?”

Momo wrinkles her nose. “Not really,” she says, humming, “I don’t like how bitter it can be.” 

Nayeon nods, not really knowing what to expect. She thinks back to what Mina told her back at the wedding—the secret ingredient to the way she makes her coffee. Vanilla. Nayeon probably hasn’t had a single drop of caffeine the past several months. _Are we still doing the whole bring-me-coffee-every-morning routine? _The memory of it pains her too much.

“Back in high school, Minari used to give me her coffee though,” Momo casually mentions, looking at Nayeon carefully, “Helped me keep me up at night. It was the only coffee that I actually liked but she never tells me how to make them. Keeps saying that it’s her secret or something.” 

“Ah.” Nayeon smiles, remembering. “She makes the best coffee.” 

…

(Mina takes Ray out for a walk later that afternoon. She always finds that being with her dog helps calm her nerves. Even though he’s already eleven years old, Ray still gets happy whenever Mina grabs the leash and shows it to him. 

Near their house, there’s a small path that leads to a lake in the forest. Not many people know about this due to the fact that it’s hidden by some bushes. Mina only knows about it because she was quite an adventurer when she was a kid. Ray leads her there now, knowing exactly where to go, since they’ve been here so many times already.

A thought crosses her mind. She thinks Nayeon would like being led to some secret hideout, especially if it’s by someone she loves—_oh wait_— 

Mina smiles bitterly, nearly forgetting.) 

…

They’re on Mina’s street now. 

Nayeon’s grip on the bag of bagels tightens. Momo is quiet, which she’s grateful for. She doesn’t think she can handle small talk now, especially when she knows Mina is so close already. After five months of longing and missing, they’re finally going to see each other again. 

She thinks back to the time she went to Mina’s apartment and didn’t find her there. How the hope flared up in her chest and died as the seconds turned to minutes and then into hours. How she spent a long time waiting and waiting, not realizing that she was already too late. 

If that happens again today, she doesn’t think she can bear the heartbreak. 

_Cherophobia_, she recalls Sana saying, _it’s the fear of happiness._

…

(Mina takes off Ray’s leash and lets him walk up to the lake on his own. The place is empty, as usual. Back during the summer, though, she would often find some kids taking a dip in the water with their friends. Momo and Sana suddenly come to mind. She frowns, realizing that they haven’t contacted her since their meet-up. Maybe something happened? Maybe they’re sleeping in? Who knows.

She takes a seat under the shade of a large white pine tree and watches her dog roll around the grass. She smiles, content. Then a song she likes plays in her headset and she closes her eyes, thinking of Nayeon, the way she always does in peaceful moments such as this. 

_Can I go where you go?_

_Can we always be this close forever and ever?_

_And ah, take me out, and take me home_

_You're my, my, my, my lover_.)

…

Mina’s brother looks nothing like her. 

“Ah,” he says, eyes flickering over to Nayeon standing behind Momo. He says something in Japanese and Momo responds in the same tongue. They haven’t been let in the house yet but Nayeon lets her eyes wander to the hallway behind Mina’s brother, wondering what the inside of Mina’s childhood home looks like. She remembers his name. _Myoui Kai. _

“Mina-chan took her dog out for a walk,” Momo tells Nayeon, redirecting her attention back to her, “but we can come in and wait for her.” 

Nayeon nods, smiling at Kai and bowing politely. He smiles back. _Oh_. There’s the resemblance. Her breath catches in her throat. So close and yet so far. 

…

(There’s a message from her brother: _two of your friends are here._

Mina texts back: _Ok. Going back now_.

The weight on her shoulders returns.)

…

Nayeon is here in Mina’s house. 

Her eyes take every detail in hungrily. There are certificates and trophies of the Myoui siblings plastered on the living room wall. She catches sight of Mina’s name several times. Her ballet achievements are most prominent, quickly followed by academic ones. She can’t help but stare at a picture of a fourteen-year-old Mina wearing her ballet bodice and smiling brightly at the camera with her parents on either side of her. Even then, she had her silver tooth.

Momo comes to stand next to her. “Are you ready?” she asks. 

Nayeon’s heart thunders painfully inside her chest. The closer Mina is, the harder it beats. 

“I don’t know,” she whispers. 

…

(Mina’s heart suddenly races the closer she gets to her house. She doesn’t know why. It sets her on edge. It’s the same feeling you get when you’re rewatching a sad movie and the ending comes. Even though you’re expecting it, it doesn’t hurt any less. It confuses her because she doesn’t really know what she’s expecting when she gets home. It’s only going to be Momo and Sana, after all. She lets Ray tug on the leash, dragging her closer and closer. 

The tension in her shoulders and the nerves in her stomach double.) 

…

Nayeon hears the door opening, followed by a dog’s bark. Her heart stills.

…

(“Onii-san, I’m home,” Mina calls out, slipping off her shoes.)

...

Nayeon takes a deep breath, watching as Momo sneaks a glance at her and then heads over to the hallway to meet Mina. _Breathe_, she tells herself, _breathe, breathe_. 

…

(Mina smiles when she spots Momo peeking her head out from the living room.

“Hi,” she greets, walking over and wrapping her best friend up in a hug.

“Hey.” Momo seems tense, eyes fixed on her.

“Where’s Sana?”

“She isn’t here.”

“But Onii-san said—”

And that’s when Mina sees _her_.)

…

It’s been five long months. 

Five months of missing Mina, of wishing that she was here, of regretting the last thing Nayeon told her. Their eyes meet across the small distance between them. It’s funny—when they were apart, Nayeon wanted to say so many things. Apologies, promises, declarations of love. But now that they’re in the same room with only a few feet separating them, all the words she knows just… _disappear_. Like they never mattered in the first place. 

Mina is the only thing that matters now. 

She takes a step forward. “Mina-yah,” she whispers. 

…

(When Mina sees her, the effect is _instantaneous_.

All the tension leaves her shoulders, the nerves in her stomach vanishes and the hand clutching her heart loosens its grip. The weight she’s been enduring for the past five months fall away, like they were only feathers in the first place. Like the time and distance they’ve spent apart no longer matters now that Nayeon is standing in front of her, looking as beautiful as the day they met. This is what her body has been trying to tell her the entire day—that somewhere out there in the streets of Kobe, Japan, Nayeon was looking for her, _thinking _of her.

And now she’s here.

It hits Mina that this is all she’s ever wanted.

_This _is what she’s been waiting for.)

…

“What are you doing here?” Mina asks and her voice—it sounds exactly the same. Nayeon doesn’t know what she expected. Mina looks… the same. Like nothing has changed. Her hair is longer, her face thinner and she seems _sadder_, but it’s the same brown eyes that Nayeon found comfort in, the same constellation of moles across her skin that Nayeon wanted to trace with her fingers, and the same plump lips that Nayeon imagined kissing all over again.

“I came here to see you,” she says. 

Mina glances at Momo, expression unreadable. “Is this why Sana isn’t here?” she asks. 

“She came to get Nayeon the second she found out about you moving to America,” Momo answers, looking away when Mina locks her jaw, “She did what she had to do, okay?” 

“She shouldn’t have.” 

And then Mina barely throws Nayeon a glance and storms upstairs to her room. The silence she leaves behind is suffocating. Momo sighs, leaning against the wall and running her fingers through her hair. “You can talk to her,” she says to Nayeon, “Just call me when you guys are done.” 

“You’re leaving?” Nayeon asks, unsure why the thought is enough to send her heart into overdrive. 

“I won’t be far,” Momo says, grabbing her stuff and heading to the kitchen where they can hear Kai walking around, “Besides, you guys need space.” 

“Momo-yah, wait—” Nayeon rushes forward, suddenly fearful of being left alone with Mina but Momo turns around, smiles brightly at her and reaches out to squeeze her shoulders. 

“You can do this,” she tells Nayeon with a determined look, “You came all the way here to talk to Mitang, right? Now here’s your chance. Sana told me everything that went down while you two were apart. I don’t agree with some of your choices and I know that we got off to a rough start but unnie—” Nayeon looks up sharply because it’s the first time Momo has called her that “—I trust that you can make the right choice here.”

Nayeon lets out a humorless laugh. “Haven’t you heard?” she mutters, “I always make the wrong decisions.” 

Momo’s smile turns into a smirk. “Since you already know that,” she says, “that shouldn’t stop you from making the right one.”

…

(Mina isn't ready to face the girl who broke her heart.)

…

Nayeon wants to hold Mina in her arms again, the way she used to, but she knows she doesn't have the right. So instead, she takes a deep breath, balances the coffee and bagels in one hand and knocks on the door to Mina's room. A sense of deja vu overwhelms her. She's aware that the last time she did this, it didn't end so well.

But it's different now—she _knows _Mina is on the other side, hearing her words. This thought is enough to get her to push on ahead.

"Mina-yah," she begins, knuckles still rapping on the door, "I'm probably the last person you want to see right now—" 

(_That's the thing_, Mina thinks, back pressed against the wooden frame, _you're not—you're the first._)

"—but Sana came up to me yesterday and told me a few things." 

"What were those things?" Mina asks, her voice muffled. 

Nayeon leans her forehead on the door, wanting desperately to be let in so that she can explain better but this will have to do. She closes her eyes. "You're leaving again," she whispers, loud enough for Mina to catch on the other side. 

"So what if I am?" 

"I can't let you do that, not if it's because of me." 

"Maybe my life doesn't revolve around you anymore, Nayeonnie." 

(The affectionate nickname slips past Mina's lips naturally and she squeezes her eyes shut. It's the first time she said that name in _months._) 

"It shouldn't," Nayeon agrees, her heart racing, "I've hurt you too much the past few months and if I were you, I'd pack up my stuff and hop onto the earliest flight to America." 

(Mina's throat tightens.)

"But you're not me." 

The words are spoken in a desperate and needy whisper and Nayeon's voice cracks at the end of it. She closes her eyes, inhaling deeply, as she tries to say the words she's been wanting to say ever since Mina left. “You’re better than me,” she continues, “You’re a kind, pure-hearted and innocent person that I used when I was at the lowest point of my life. I took advantage of our friendship and didn’t think of how it could affect you. I was stupid to think that the only person I was hurting was myself when all along, you’ve been in pain since day one.” 

Nayeon thinks back to all the therapy sessions and all the lessons she learned with Dr. Manoban—remembering how each talk made her rethink everything that’s happened in her life. _Suppressing what you feel just means prolonging the inevitable. _Now she puts down her walls, the same walls that Mina saw and tried to chip down before. _Forgiveness starts with yourself_. She remembers the last thing she said to Mina before she left and promises herself that she can fix it. _A person who is scared of love is a person who isn’t ready for it_. 

Nayeon isn’t scared. 

Not anymore. 

_We don't choose who we love, unnie, but if I had the choice, I'd still pick you._

She knows what she wants and this is her picking Mina—when she should’ve done so months ago. 

_Cherophobia_, she remembers, _the fear of happiness_. 

“I’m sorry,” she tells Mina, tears spilling from her eyes, “I’m sorry for everything. I asked you to fake date me when I wasn’t over my ex-girlfriend. I made you go through what I did with her, which wasn’t fair on your part, especially when all you’ve done is look out for me. I threw away your love when you gave everything to me, the same way Jennie did.”

(On the other side of the door, Mina starts crying.)

“What I did to you,” Nayeon continues, “nobody should go through that—but please don’t let this be the reason why you’re leaving for America. Don’t punish yourself for something that _I _did.” 

(_I don’t have a choice_, Mina thinks to herself, _everywhere I go, you’re always there_.)

“Mina…” Nayeon sighs, wiping at her eyes. The silence is unbearable. She wants to confess her feelings but she feels like this isn’t the right moment. “I can come back, if you want,” she says instead, “I’ll still be in Japan for a few days.” 

She takes a step back, disappointed but not surprised. Mina has never been the confrontational type. The last time she did so must’ve traumatized her. Once again, Nayeon hates herself for being the reason for it. She lets out a deep breath and is about to walk away and call Momo on the phone when the door to Mina’s room cracks open.

“Wait,” Mina calls out, voice soft. “Don’t go.”

Nayeon stops in her tracks, looking over her shoulder to find Mina swinging the door open. Her eyes are red-rimmed and her lower lip is wobbling. They stare at each other for a while, drinking the other person in. Then Mina gestures for her to come inside. 

Her room is bare, the same way her apartment was back in Seoul. But it doesn’t evoke any feelings of _emptiness_. Instead, it’s obvious that Mina took special attention and care to the pictures she put up (mostly of Sana and Momo back in their high school days and a handful of family portraits) and the arrangement of books on the shelf next to her study table. Her bed has been made, the covers and sheets the shade of mint green with an array of penguin plushies in different sizes lying on top of the pillows. Nayeon spots a diary lying next to Mina’s closed laptop and wonders what the other girl might’ve written the past few months that they’ve spent apart. 

“I want to say something too,” Mina tells her, standing by the window and hugging herself. 

Nayeon _aches_. It’s a special kind of torture—being next to someone and not being able to touch them. Not the way you used to, anyway. 

“Please,” she says, putting down the coffee and bagels on the dresser, “don’t hold back.” 

(That’s not what Mina is worried about. What she’s worried about is how Nayeon will take it. The last time she bared her soul, Nayeon told her she didn’t feel the same way.

She doesn’t think she can bear if it happens again.)

“You didn’t hurt me on purpose,” Mina begins, eyes fixed on the floor, “We made a deal and we agreed on the terms and conditions. I would be your pretend girlfriend for three days and you could get back at Jennie for hurting you. That was the plan.” 

Nayeon nods, encouraging her to continue. 

“But…” Mina closes her eyes, shaking her head. “I can’t deny that you didn’t hurt me the last time we saw each other. It’s not your fault that I got my hopes up and thought that… there was something between us.”

Nayeon wants to interrupt and say that there _is _something between them but she keeps her mouth shut, not wanting Mina to think that her feelings don’t matter. 

“The last time we saw each other… you used me,” Mina whispers, sounding so heartbroken that it feels like Nayeon’s entire world has just shattered all over again. 

“I did.”

“You broke my heart.”

“I did.” 

“You—” Mina chokes back a sob, looking away from the intensity of Nayeon’s stare. “You told me you didn’t love me.”

Moment of truth.

Mina is the ocean.

Nayeon is desperate to drown.

It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t know how to swim.

“But I do,” she confesses. 

The confession hangs in the air between them—an entire five months’ worth of pain and longing all wrapped up in three simple words. Nayeon doesn’t look away from Mina because she wants her to understand the gravity of her words—she wants her to understand that she _means _it. More than she has ever meant anything else in her life. 

Nayeon loves her.

(Nayeon… loves her?) 

“Wh—what?” Mina says, now staring at her with wide, terrified eyes, “What are you trying to say?” 

“I’m saying that I love you,” Nayeon says, trying to be brave and trying to tell herself Mina deserves the truth, even if it is five months too late, “I realized this when we were at the wedding. I’m in love with you, Mina. Hopelessly so.”

Nayeon feels like she’s drowning.

(Mina feels like she can’t breathe.)

“You love me?” Mina repeats, sounding so confused that it breaks Nayeon’s heart.

“I do,” she insists, “It took me a while to realize it but it’s the truth, Mina-yah.” 

“Then why—? Why did you tell me that you—you—you didn’t feel the same way?” Mina runs her fingers through her hair, the reality of the situation hitting her, and Nayeon steps forward, desperate to take the full brunt of it. She doesn’t think, not anymore, and she takes Mina’s hands in her own and squeezes them. 

“Because I was scared,” she answers, voice hitching, “You were—you were so brave, Mina. You were dangerous and unexpected. I went into that whole stupid fake dating thing, thinking that you were only there to help me get through the wedding without breaking down but that didn’t happen.” 

Nayeon doesn’t wipe away her tears because that would mean letting go of Mina’s hands. Instead, she sniffles, not even caring that she probably looks like shit right now. Mina stares back at her, eyes conflicted and lips parted. 

(The urge to take Nayeon’s face in her hands and wipe away her tears is overwhelming but Mina manages to hold herself back.)

“Instead,” Nayeon continues, taking a gulp of fresh air, “I started wishing that things were real between us… You reminded me what it was like to love again and just how amazing it can really be. You reminded me that loving someone doesn’t have to be painful. And even if it is, you reminded me that some people are worth getting hurt over.” 

A pause. Nayeon doesn’t look away.

“And you’re worth it, Mina.”

Mina stares at her, looking so stunned and confused, and Nayeon just wants to hold her. She doesn’t because she knows she doesn’t have the right to do so. With every fiber of her being, she takes a step back and lets go of Mina’s hands.

“I told you I didn’t love you because I was scared you’d hurt me the same way Jennie did,” she goes on, wiping her cheeks, “and I let you go because I knew that I didn’t deserve you then. Standing in front of you now, I know that I still don’t.” 

(Mina’s brain kicks into gear.)

“Don’t say that,” Mina says quietly.

“What?” 

“Don’t say that you don’t deserve me.” The younger girl raises her head, her eyes red-rimmed and her lower lip shaking. “I think I’m the one who gets to decide that, right?” 

Nayeon doesn’t say anything else. Her friends have told her the same thing. It’s hard to change the way you view yourself but thankfully, after the past five months, she’s getting there. She watches as Mina collects herself, clasping her hands together and hiding her face behind them. It’s quiet—you can hear a pin drop. Nayeon wants nothing more than to embrace her. Or even see her smile. She has a feeling Mina hasn’t smiled in a long time. 

She did this. 

She hurt Mina.

She broke her heart.

Not a day goes by where she won’t think this. 

“Thank you,” Mina says suddenly, surprising Nayeon, as she lets her hands drop to her sides.

“For what?” 

“For coming here.” The way Mina looks at her, all soft and gentle, reminds Nayeon of better times. Her heart races. Maybe… just maybe…? “But I need to ask you to leave,” Mina adds. 

Nayeon’s stomach drops. 

(Mina’s heart twists.) 

“Okay,” the older girl says, holding back more tears, “I understand.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I—I—I messed up, after all.” _I always do_. 

Mina shakes her head. “It’s not that,” she whispers, sighing, “It’s just… I need to think through and I can’t do that if you’re here with me.” 

Nayeon can’t help but feel hopeful at that. Maybe she can be forgiven, after all. If giving Mina more time and space (even though the past several months have already been unbearable) means forgiveness, then Nayeon will gladly suffer for it. It’s still a long shot, anyway. She takes another step back and then gestures to the coffee and bagels she bought along the way.

“Do you remember our challenge?” she asks, eyebrows raised. 

“The one where you’re supposed to recreate the way I make my coffee?” Mina shoots back, pursing her lips, “How can I forget?” 

Nayeon reaches down and takes the coffee cup. “It’s not that warm anymore,” she says, handing it to the younger girl, “but do you mind trying it?” 

Mina takes a sip and Nayeon waits for her reaction. A few moments pass. Then the younger girl smiles her gummy smile. It’s wide enough that her silver tooth peeks out. Nayeon feels like all the weight from her shoulders has been lifted. She missed being the cause of that smile but most of all, she misses the person wearing it. 

(Mina’s heart grows warm when she sees Nayeon’s bunny teeth poking out from behind heart-shaped lips curled into a smile.

She can’t help it—she’s always been so soft for her.) 

“Well?” Nayeon asks expectantly. 

“It’s perfect.” Mina wraps her fingers around the cup, her smile turning bashful, “Thank you.” 

Nayeon wants to hug her. 

(Mina wants to kiss her.) 

They don’t do either of these things. 

“Before I forget,” Nayeon begins, raising one finger. She hurries back to the living room, where she left her bag and grabs the little project she finished on her flight last night. When she comes back to Mina’s room, she sees the younger girl finishing the rest of her coffee, still with a small smile on her face. It makes Nayeon’s heart soar. 

“What’s this?” Mina asks, accepting the folder. 

“A handbook,” Nayeon answers, “but read it when you’re alone.”

“Okay.” 

“I’ll go now.” Nayeon lingers, not really wanting to leave but knowing that she has to anyway. 

Mina notices this and stands up.

“I’ll walk you out.”

The walk leading to the front door is quiet but comfortable. Nayeon thinks their conversation went better than expected. She always imagined Mina screaming at her face or even ignoring her the whole time but she knows the younger girl isn’t like that. She’s always been so soft and kind—an innocent heart amidst a world full of pain and agony. It’s in her nature not to want to hurt Nayeon, even after everything she put her through.

Nayeon really doesn’t deserve her.

But she knows that only Mina can decide that. 

“Where are you staying?” Mina asks before Nayeon can walk down the steps of her house. 

“Kobe Portopia Hotel.” 

Mina raises her eyebrows in surprise. “Really?” 

“Tzuyu paid for it.”

“Huh—she really is loaded.” 

“Yeah, you can say that.” The small talk is killing her. Nayeon hesitates, her fingers clutching the handle of her bag tightly as she weighs her next words carefully. “Mina-yah?” 

Mina leans on the doorway, playing with her hands.. “Yeah?” 

“Are you staying?” 

When Mina looks away, Nayeon’s heart plummets. _Oh_. 

(The doubt and pain seeps through Mina's heart again—a part of her wonders if Nayeon is, once again, lying to her about this.

Then she thinks about the way Nayeon looked at her when she said she loved her—it’s an achingly familiar look. She knows this because she sees it every time in the mirror.

Nayeon… _loves_ her? She still can’t wrap her mind around it.)

“You should go,” the younger girl says, stepping inside her house, “Goodbye, Nayeon.”

Mina doesn’t close the door until Nayeon is out of sight. 

…

(Onii-san later reminds Mina that she has to leave next week if she wants to get the job.

Nayeon’s folder sits on her study table, waiting to be read.

Mina doesn’t know why she’s so scared to open it.)

...

“How did it go?” Momo asks. They’re sitting on a park bench, watching families and couples walking around. Nayeon sees a dog that looks suspiciously like Kookeu and feels homesick. 

“I think I did the right thing,” she shares. 

Momo hums, arms crossed. “Is she staying?” Her tone is hopeful.

Silence. Nayeon bites her lower lip, feeling anxious. She doesn’t want to disappoint Momo.

“I don’t know,” she whispers and Momo’s face falls.

…

(Later that night, when the world is fast asleep, Mina shuts off the lights, walks over to her study desk and grabs the folder with her lamp as the only source of illumination. She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and prays to God that whatever she’ll find inside won’t hurt her.

Even though Nayeon has travelled all this way to tell her that she loves her and that she’s sorry for everything she’s done, a part of Mina’s heart just can’t let the past five months go by easily. All this time, she thought she was an idiot for loving somebody who didn’t love her back when all along, Nayeon _did _love her back. Mina can’t help but think about the wasted months they’ve spent hurting and missing each other.

But then again, Nayeon seems... _better _now. She doesn’t withdraw at the mention of her ex-girlfriend and she accepted her choices for the way they were—mistakes. It’s not that Nayeon wasn’t mature or responsible before but Mina can tell that a lot has happened the past few months. She can tell that something has changed.

Nayeon seems braver. 

And if Nayeon can be brave, then Mina can be brave too.

She opens the handbook and finds the words: _The Myoui Mina Handbook: Why Im Nayeon Loves Her _staring back at her.)

…

**Justin Bieber’s #1 Hater ** **😡** ** (7:40 PM)**

Hey how did it go?

**MC Rail ** **😎** ** (7:46 PM) **

hey…. Im back in the hotel 

**MC Rail ** **😎** ** (7:47 PM) **

it went ok

**MC Rail ** **😎** ** (7:47 PM)**

but she didnt say anything about staying

**Justin Bieber’s #1 Hater ** **😡** ** (7:51 PM)**

She just needs time ig

**MC Rail ** **😎** ** (7:52 PM)**

I know and im willing to wait for her

**Justin Bieber’s #1 Hater ** **😡** ** (7:53 PM)**

Even if she leaves again?

**MC Rail ** **😎** ** (7:54 PM)**

Esp then

**MC Rail ** **😎** ** (7:55 PM)**

she’s worth it 

…

(Mina’s fingers curl around the folder tightly, tears blurring her eyes, as she realizes what Nayeon just made. 

It’s another handbook—only this time, it’s not about Nayeon but about _her. _It’s full of details that she didn’t think the older girl picked up on but apparently did. Information like her birthday, her favorite movie, her obsession with ketchup—_everything._ Pictures from their fake dates are taped on some of the pages and Nayeon even doodled on a couple of them, adding little comments and cutesy drawings of a penguin and a rabbit playing together.

Mina didn’t think Nayeon was the type of person to keep mementos but in this handbook, she sees the receipts of all the dinner dates they went on with the total prices conveniently scribbled on. She even goes on to describe little snippets of their dates and the topics they talked about. She spots a crude drawing of the time they went to the dog cafe with Chaeyoung and Tzuyu and laughs at how Nayeon exaggerated her own bunny teeth.

Mina thought she knew what love was... 

But sitting here in the middle of the dark, holding all the words Nayeon has held back the past several months, Mina finally understands what love really is.)

...

**Baby Beast 🦁 (8:31 PM)**

[_Baby Beast _🦁 _is calling_]

Nayeon tears her gaze away from the city lights outside her window when she hears her phone ringing. It’s Chaeyoung, asking for a video call. Without a second’s hesitation, she accepts. 

“Hi,” she greets, not surprised to find Dahyun on the other end of the screen.

“How did it go!” Dahyun yells and Nayeon thanks the fact that she’s not wearing earphones otherwise her eardrums would’ve exploded by the sheer volume of the younger girl’s voice.

“You don’t have to yell, Dubu,” she says.

“Sorry, I was just really excited to talk to you,” Dahyun says, grinning on the small video screen, “but yeah, how did things go with Mina?”

“It went okay.”

Dahyun frowns, clearly noticing the shift in her tone. “What did she say?” 

“Not much, really,” Nayeon answers, thinking about their earlier conversation, “She just seemed shocked by the whole thing. I don’t think she still fully believes me.” 

“Can you blame her?” Chaeyoung’s voice. Nayeon smiles when she sees the younger girl successfully wrestling the phone from Dahyun’s grip and then waving at her unnie afterwards. “You technically broke her heart and then showed up months later to say that you didn’t really mean it. So yeah, her not believing you is totally in character,” Chaeyoung says. 

“Thank you for the vote of confidence, Chaeng.”

“I’m just saying!” 

The screen turns black for a couple of seconds and Nayeon hears Dahyun and Chaeyoung arguing over the phone. Then to Nayeon’s surprise, Sana’s face pops up on the video.

“Hi, Nayeon-chan!” the pink-haired girl greets, waving at her happily, “Momo told me that things went well with you and Mina!” 

“Sana-yah? Why are you with—? Wait, where are you guys?”

Sana flips video to the back camera and Nayeon sees that all of her friends are in a karaoke room. Jeongyeon and Jihyo are currently fighting over which song to play first. Chaeyoung and Dahyun are in the middle of rock-paper-and-scissors. Predictably, Chaeyoung loses (because she always picks scissors) and Dahyun throws her fist in the air, yelling, “I get to talk to Nayeon first! I get to talk to Nayeon first!” 

The screen turns back to Sana smiling at her. On her right side is Tzuyu, scrolling through her phone with an almost bored expression. She grins when she sees Nayeon’s face on the phone.

“So,” Sana begins, eyes sparkling, “tell me what you guys talked about.”

…

(Mina spends the rest of the night reading everything Nayeon has written down. It’s like taking a walk back down memory lane and seeing certain events through another person’s eyes. Nayeon has taken note of everything—from the first day they met and down to the night Mina left. It’s a strange feeling—Mina thought she was the only one taking note of their interactions but it’s clear that Nayeon is more perceptive than she initially realized. 

**Dear Mina,** are the first words Mina reads on the front page, **when we see each other again, I have so many things I want to tell you but I know I’m just going to mess it up. So I made this handbook instead. Because I want to do this the right way.**

Mina smiles, wiping away her tears before they can fall on the pages. She won’t ruin Nayeon’s hard work. She knows she’s going to cherish every single word. 

**The first time you helped me with that photocopier, I straight away knew that we were going to get along**, Nayeon wrote and even added a little doodle of a mini her punching the said machine. Mina laughs when she sees it. 

Next page. The day Mina fixed Nayeon’s computer for her.

**You’ve always been my guardian angel since day one ** **💚**

Another page. The time Nayeon asked Mina to fake date her.

**Back then, I knew that you were my first choice but now I realize that’s not true—because you’re the only choice I want to make. From here on out.**

Mina can’t stop crying. She turns another page, biting her lower lip in an effort to stop it from shaking. It doesn’t work. She sees selfies and pictures that Nayeon printed out and pasted on the pages, all with witty captions about the time they’ve spent together. 

When they first went out to discuss their pretend relationship—**I still remember how you spilled your drink when I asked about kissing you! That was really funny. You were so cute back then ****😘😘**

Nayeon even did a small sketch of two coffee cups and a paper bag full of bagels with the words: **This is our thing, right? Me making you bad coffee and you drinking it anyway? ****😏**** You’re so whipped, Mina-yah.**

Mina takes every detail in hungrily, more tears filling her eyes and her smile widening with each page she turns. She blushes when she reads about Nayeon counting the moles on her face, honestly at a loss of words when she realizes that the other girl is _literally _flirting with on her paper: **How many moles do you have?! I need to keep staring at you more often if I want to count every single one ****😜**

She comes across a section about her and Jeongyeon.

**Jeongyeon talked to you about Fornite for two hours when you first met her. Was I jealous? Not really, because Jeongyeon is bad with girls… right? **Even though she said she wasn’t jealous, there’s an angry face at the end of the paragraph and a tiny sentence claiming that Fornite is for losers. 

Another page is dedicated to Momo. 

**I wasn’t acting jealous, you know, **Nayeon said on paper, **I was really jealous! It’s not my fault Momo is smoking hot. Thank God for Jeongyeon then ****😬**

The next one has all the ways Nayeon tried to make Mina’s coffee, with several comments stating that it either has too much cream, too little sugar and or is just too bitter. It’s clear that Nayeon racked her brain to remember these details or maybe she never really forgot anything Mina-related. The thought hurts. At the bottom of it, Nayeon encircled the word **VANILLA **and drew green hearts all over it.

The handbook starts out lighthearted and funny but with each page Mina reads, she can feel the impending sadness and longing coming. She knows how it’s going to end and she braces herself for it. Because remembering everything that’s happened between them also means remembering the pain they went through.

Mina flips through the pages and finds a section dedicated to when she and Nayeon ate at that small noodle shop by the sea. Her eyes take in the attached selfie they took, identical smiles fixed at the camera. Something in her chest blossoms when she reads that this was the moment Nayeon realized she loved her too. 

**Remember when I told you that the person you think of when you’re standing in front of the ocean is the person that you’re in love with? The truth is, I wasn’t thinking of anyone. I wasn’t thinking of anyone because she was already there next to me.**

Then, Mina reads Nayeon’s thoughts on what happened the night she left the wedding and her heart stings at what was really going on through Nayeon’s head:

**When you told me you loved me, I told you I didn’t feel the same way, even though I did. I was scared. To be honest, I’m still scared. Because I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you. But that night, I DID lose you. And I don’t want it to happen again.**

Mina reads about Nayeon coming up to her apartment a month after she left for Japan and the tears continue to flow at the thought of Nayeon waiting for her outside the door.

**I guess I was too late, Mina…**

After that, Nayeon’s thoughts go back and forth to the past and present, recalling fond memories they’ve shared over the course of a year. But she also writes about changing the way she thinks of herself and how tedious the process can be. She writes about everyday conversations that Mina can’t make sense of unless she’s given the context. It’s almost like Nayeon is talking to herself, which she finds fascinating.

**Cherophobia**, Nayeon wrote on a corner, **the fear of happiness.**

**So much love to give, **another entry states, **but gave it to the wrong person.**

**What will it take for you to realize that some people are worth getting hurt over? **Nayeon drew a picture of herself asking the same question to a mirror. She looks sad at not knowing what the answer is.

**Love doesn’t need a plan**, a cartoon of a person who looks suspiciously like Chou Tzuyu fills one page, **sometimes, you just have to DO it ****💪**

At one point, she just writes—**I love my friends so much ****😭😭😭**

**I'm here. I've always been here**. The words are familiar until Mina realizes that she was the one who wrote it on the original handbook. So Nayeon did read it. She doesn't know how to feel about this.

It’s _strange_—because Mina isn’t used to Nayeon giving her everything. During the entire time they knew each other, Mina could feel Nayeon holding herself back and ignoring her feelings to avoid diving back into the pain of her past relationship. But here she is now, giving her everything once again, even though it shattered her the last time she did so.

She must really think Mina is worth it.

There’s a quote said by a Dr. Manoban that Nayeon emphasized with a red pen and several arrows pointing at it: **A person who is afraid of love is a person who isn’t ready for it**. Then underneath it, Mina finds a caricature of a rabbit with a thought bubble saying: “**I’M READY!!! ****🙏****”**

Mina shakes her head, smiling once again.. She finds it amazing that even though she isn’t here right now, Nayeon can still make her smile. Either Mina is really whipped or Nayeon really is something else. She guesses both.)

…

Nayeon ends the call with her friends and lies awake on her bed in her hotel room for the next hour. Mina hasn’t left her mind ever since she walked out of her house earlier. Nayeon wonders if the younger girl is reading the handbook now. She wonders if Mina knows that she’s practically given her heart away again. She wonders if Mina knows that she has the power to crush it in her hands.

...

(At the last page of the handbook, Mina comes across one last confession—

**Mina, I’m sorry. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to fix myself and chase after you. I’m sorry for being a coward and for hurting you because of it. I’m sorry for everything. **

It’s only characters on paper but Mina can feel every bit of regret and pain that Nayeon felt when she wrote them. Her heart grows heavy. She can’t breathe. Her fingers tremble as she traces the words Nayeon wrote down, almost like it will keep them connected. 

**But if there’s a chance that you still want to try again, I’m here. I’ve always been here too.**

Mina makes a decision.)

...

The next day, Nayeon wakes up at noon. Her eyes are sore, her throat is dry and her body is exhausted from the emotional ordeal she went through yesterday. But for the first time in a long time, she wakes up with lesser weight on her shoulders. She looks outside the window and sees Kobe moving through the day without her. 

She stretches her arms above her head and wonders what Mina is doing right now. 

…

(Mina is in a taxi, heading to the one place she needs to be in right now. The world outside her window passes by at a snail's pace, thanks to the traffic. It makes her heart race. She needs to go. She has to reach her destination. There's plenty of time left but she feels like her heart will burst if she doesn't get there fast enough. 

_Are you staying_? Nayeon asked. 

Mina closes her eyes and shakes her head. 

_No._)

...

Nayeon doesn't really know what to do today. She'll feel bad if she calls up Momo again, especially since she's taking the woman's time away from her family. On the other hand, she can always explore the city and be a regular tourist. But it seems lonely—doing it by yourself with nobody next to you. Besides, she doesn't want to ask Tzuyu for money, even though the younger girl insisted. Payday hasn't arrived yet, after all.

Mina hasn't contacted her yet. 

Nayeon’s heart grows heavy.

…

(There's a song stuck in Mina's head. 

When she reaches her destination, she feels like she's going to throw up. Her hands are sweaty. Her nerves are on edge. Her heart feels like it's literally seconds away from bursting. Still, she forces her legs to move to the front desk, forces her mouth to ask for the room number, forces her body to keep moving and moving, no matter how terrified she is right now.

She thinks about the song, remembering the beat and listening to the meaning behind the lyrics: 

_‘If we were together_

_If we were together_

_I will meet a new world with you in it_

_I will follow you even if I’m imprisoned’_

If Nayeon can be brave, Mina can be brave too.)

…

There's a knock on the door. Nayeon frowns, thinking its room service. Do they have breakfast here? She remembers reading that they do. Damn. She should've ordered something to eat but that would mean speaking in Japanese and she doesn't know how to speak in Japanese. Her stomach rumbles at the reminder that she hasn't eaten breakfast or lunch yet. Well. At least she's showered already. 

"Coming," she calls when the person on the other side continues to knock. With her hair still wrapped up in a towel, she pads over to the door and swings it open. 

Mina is standing on the other side, looking pale and shaken up. Nayeon stills. Even though they saw each other yesterday, the sight of the younger girl is enough to render Nayeon speechless for several long seconds. 

"Hi," Mina finally says, smiling. Her shoulders relax. 

"Hey," Nayeon says back, eyes wide, "How did you know my—?" 

"Before you say anything," Mina interrupts gently, raising one hand, "I need you to pretend like this is our first time meeting." 

Nayeon tilts her head to the side, confused. "Eh?"

"Please?" Mina adds, a slight whine in her voice.

"Uhm—sure, okay." 

Mina nods, grateful. Another moment passes. Nayeon watches as Mina closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she opens them again, a fierce, determined expression has replaced the anxious look from before. She stretches out her hand, which Nayeon takes after a slight hesitation. 

"Hi," she greets again, "I'm Myoui Mina from the IT Department. Do you want to grab some coffee with me today?" 

Nayeon raises her eyebrows in surprise, a smile growing on her lips. "Hi," she says, shaking Mina's hand and playing along, "I'm Nayeon from Sales and yes, I would love to grab coffee with you." 

… 

(Mina remembers the conversation she and Nayeon had about the story they came up with if people asked how they got together. 

_How about I asked you out for coffee one day, you agreed, we talked, and then we’ve been dating since then? _Mina suggested. 

Nayeon grinned at her suggestion and said ‘_coffee is a good start but let’s add some flair to it._’

It might’ve only been fake but Mina plans to make it real.)

…

After Nayeon finishes changing, she meets Mina in the lobby. The younger girl is pacing back and forth, looking even more nervous. She has this adorable furrow between her eyebrows and her bottom lip juts out in a pout, making her look younger than usual. When Nayeon sees this expression, her heart melts.

“Hi!” Mina says, brightening at the sight of her, “Are you ready?”

It startles Nayeon—how easily they seem to fall back into place, like the past five months didn’t happen, like they didn’t just break each other’s hearts. She’s grateful that Mina seems keen on moving past that but she can’t help but feel like she still doesn’t deserve this… After all, she doesn’t know how Mina truly reacted to the handbook she gave her yesterday. She has literally no idea what’s going through Mina’s mind right now. 

“Where are we going?” Nayeon asks. 

Mina grins shyly at her. “You’ll see!” 

Mina doesn’t take her hand and Nayeon doesn’t ask for it. 

They head outside the hotel and walk on the bustling streets of Kobe. Nayeon lets her eyes roam around, taking in the sights of what it’s like to be in Mina’s hometown. It’s colorful, full of street shops and corner stores. High school kids sneaking out of their classes are hanging out with their friends. Businessmen wearing suits and talking on the phones hurriedly move from one place to another. Nayeon has to make sure she doesn’t bump shoulders with any of them. 

Mina notices her struggle and reaches out to pull her by the arm, guiding her through the mass of people. Once they’re out of the crowd, she quickly lets go. “Sorry,” she says, bowing her head, “It’s very crowded during the day.” 

“It’s okay.” Nayeon’s eyes travel down to Mina’s free hand. She wants to hold it. She doesn’t. 

They get back to walking until they reach a small noodle shop tucked in a corner of a busy street, away from the prying eyes of the crowd. Mina turns to Nayeon. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you?” she asks.

Nayeon’s stomach grumbles in response. Mina nods, beaming. 

“My friends and I used to go here back in high school,” Mina shares after they take a seat inside, “Momo loves their beef special.” The place is crowded, which means it must be popular. Nayeon is grateful for the packed space, even if it does mean dining with several couples on dates. The cold was starting to get to her, anyway.

“The beef?” Nayeon asks, checking the menu and not understanding a single word.

“Yup. The infamous Kobe beef.” A waiter drops by their table and Mina orders for them. Nayeon doesn’t recognize what she ordered—sobameshi? She doesn’t know what that is. “If you’re ever in my hometown, you need to try it out,” Mina adds. 

“I thought we were going out for coffee,” Nayeon muses. 

“We were,” Mina agrees, “but then I heard your stomach rumbling three times while we were walking so I decided to take us here.”

Nayeon laughs, shaking her head. “Okay, you got me there.” 

When Mina smiles, it’s like the sun peeking out from dark clouds. Nayeon misses that smile. She’s glad that she’s seeing it again, especially after months of being apart from it. 

Since they agreed to pretend like it’s their first time meeting, Nayeon can’t flat out ask what Mina thought about the handbook. Even though she’s dying to know, she wants to respect Mina’s wishes. Maybe after the day ends, she’ll get to ask. 

_But she’s here_, she thinks to herself, _Doesn’t that mean something_?

She tries not to get her hopes up.

“So,” she begins, clearing her throat, “you said you and your friends used to go here all the time?” She misses conversations like this with Mina, back when all they did after work hours was just get to know each other.

Mina nods. “Yeah,” she says fondly, “Their names are Momo and Sana. They’re the best. Momo can eat twice her weight and still look gorgeous. Meanwhile, Sana is really sweet and clingy but if she gets mad, she can be scary. It’s funny—I used to have the biggest crush on Momo when we were kids, which Sana used to tease me about.” 

(Mina stills, realizing what she just shared. Oh, this is Nayeon's effect on her. When they're together, she finds it easier to open up about herself.)

Nayeon scoffs, affronted. “Talking about your old crush isn’t a smart move when you’re on a date with somebody else, Ms. Myoui,” she says casually, waiting for Mina’s reaction.

As expected, Mina jolts. Her knee hits the underside of the table. Thankfully, there’s no drink to spill. Her eyes grow wide and her cheeks redden. “D—da—date?” she stutters and then facepalms, “Oh! I’m sorry! I—I—I didn’t mean it like that!” 

Laughing, Nayeon shakes her head. Since they’re sitting across from each other, she has a full view of Mina’s embarrassed expression. “I’m only joking, Mina-yah,” she teases, “I mean, it took me a while to get over my ex-girlfriend so I know how it feels to be hung up on someone.”

Before Mina can respond, their orders arrive. Two plates of fried rice and noodles with a generous amount of meat and fried eggs are placed in front of them. The smell is _heavenly_. Nayeon’s mouth immediately waters and her stomach rumbles at the sight. The conversation about Mina’s crush on Momo gets thrown out the window as she clasps her hands together and says, “_Jalmukesumneda.” _Mina says, “_Itadakimasu_” in response, shooting a quick smile at the girl sitting across her.

After Nayeon takes her first bite (she has to apologize for the loud moan that slips past her lips due to the soft texture of the beef), Mina clears her throat and says, with her eyes fixed on her meal, “You know, I’m not really hung up on anyone anymore.” It’s a small confession and Nayeon understands the weight behind it. 

She smiles, her heart full. “Okay.” 

…

(The next stop is Ikuta Shrine, one of the oldest shrines in the city.

Nayeon doesn’t say much of anything when they get there since she’s busy admiring the red gate marking its entrance. It’s quiet. Only a few people are around. After they purify themselves with the water from the _temizuya_, they climb up the steps leading to the _honden_. Mina takes a couple of coins from her pocket and hands them to Nayeon, who gives her a questioning look.

“This is a Shinto shrine,” Mina says, “You have to follow a certain pattern if you want the local deity to listen to your prayers.” 

Nayeon nods seriously. “Okay, what do I have to do?” 

“Follow me.” Mina steps forward, drops a few coins in the big red box situated at the entrance and rings the bell. She can feel Nayeon’s eyes watching her as she bows twice and claps her hands twice. She bows her head and prays for guidance and… _love_. It’s cheesy but Mina doesn’t mind. She’s always done this when she was a kid so she’s pretty sure the gods are used to her requests. Once she’s done praying, she bows one last time and turns to Nayeon.

“Your turn.”

Nayeon follows the exact same steps. She takes a bit longer in her prayer, her eyes squeezed shut and her hands clasped together tightly. Mina gazes at her, drinking her in. Sometimes, she can’t believe Nayeon is here and that she actually put her life on hold and came all the way from Seoul just to beg her to stay. Ever since they were reunited, it feels like a piece of her heart has been returned. Sure, it’s not fully healed yet but at least it’s whole once again. 

“Can I ask what you prayed for?” Nayeon questions as they leave the shrine. It’s nearing nighttime already. Mina still has one last surprise up her sleeve.

“You can,” Mina answers, “It’s not like a birthday wish.”

“Okay, smartypants.” Nayeon’s cheeks are red from the cold. She hasn’t stopped smiling since they left the noodle shop earlier. “What did you pray for?”

“Guidance,” Mina answers truthfully, shoving her hands into the pockets of her coat, “and love.”

Nayeon nods, like she expected nothing less. 

"What did _you _pray for?" Mina asks.

It takes a while for Nayeon to answer but when she does, Mina understands why. 

"Forgiveness," the older girl says, looking at the ground beneath her feet, "That's all I asked for."

Mina also expected nothing less.)

…

Mina takes her to a small coffee shop near the hotel. The last bit of sunlight is fading away into the night. People are heading home to their families. Kids are saying goodbye to their friends. A few shops call it a day and close early. Mina’s left hand is hanging in the space between them. Nayeon’s right one feels very empty. 

“So,” she begins once she takes a seat at a table outside the coffee shop, “we’re finally going to have coffee.” 

“Is this what you’ve been waiting for?” Mina asks. 

“Well, apparently, if you add vanilla to coffee, it’s really good? Somebody I know used to make it like that.” 

Mina’s eyes crinkle around the corners as she smiles her gummy smile. “I’ll surprise you then.” She goes inside, leaving Nayeon to admire the streets of Kobe.

The day is finally ending. She doesn’t know what to expect once their little date is over. It’s a sudden shift, after all, especially after their heavy talk yesterday. She definitely didn’t expect Mina to show up at her hotel room, ask her to pretend like they haven’t met and then take her around the city, telling her of restaurants she used to frequent and places she considers her hideout. 

It feels like a fresh start and Nayeon doesn’t want to get her hopes up. 

She still doesn’t know if Mina is planning to stay in Japan, after all. 

Mina returns and they make small talk. Nayeon wants to ask her about America or even about the handbook or about where they stand. But Mina looks so content just sharing things about her life here in Kobe that Nayeon doesn’t want to ruin it. She doesn’t want to ruin any of it. Let them pretend everything is back to normal and this is their first date and Nayeon didn’t break Mina’s heart all those months ago. 

Their coffee arrives. Mina watches Nayeon expectantly when she takes a sip.

“How is it?” the younger girl asks.

It’s exactly how Mina makes it so it tastes like home. Nayeon’s heart grows warm at the nostalgia she feels. “It’s better than how I make it,” she murmurs, remembering the first time Mina made her coffee and smiling at the memory of it.

They met in the elevator over a year ago but Nayeon knows it all started with coffee.

…

(They finish drinking coffee and start heading back to the hotel. Mina thinks about the conversation of how their relationship began. A coffee date, getting to know each other and then a walk back to Nayeon’s place. She remembers how Nayeon outlined the order of events and wants to recreate it to the best of her abilities:

_I thought you were so adorable with the way you talked about your dog Ray_—

—_adorable enough for you to hold my hand?_

“You know,” Mina begins shakily, clenching and unclenching the right hand still hidden in her coat pocket, “My dog’s name is—”

She doesn’t get to finish her sentence because all of a sudden, she feels Nayeon’s long and thin fingers slipping into her pocket and intertwining their hands together. Her heart jumps to her throat as she glances sharply at the other girl. Nayeon’s cheeks are red but Mina suspects that it’s not because of the cold.

“I know what you’re doing,” Nayeon says, lips curling into a wry smile as she meetsMina’s shocked gaze.

“You—you do?” 

“Yes.” Nayeon squeezes her hand. “You’re so chicken, Mina-yah. Can’t you tell that I’ve been wanting to hold your hand the whole time?”

Mina can’t come up with an intelligible response so she just blushes the whole time and lets Nayeon lead the way.)

…

Nayeon knows how this ends. 

But that’s the thing—she doesn’t want it to end.

So, when they reach the lobby of the hotel, she quickly turns to Mina, not letting go of her hand, and asks, “Do you want to come up to my room?”

The look on Mina’s face would be priceless if Nayeon isn’t so desperate for answers right now. 

“I—uhm,” the younger girl says, swallowing audibly, “That’s not how this ends.”

“I know.” Nayeon takes a deep breath, not wanting to burst the bubble they found themselves in. “But we need to talk.” 

The nervous energy Mina was radiating early this afternoon returns but she still manages to nod weakly. Nayeon keeps their hands interlocked as they head up to the elevator. Now that the date is over, reality comes crashing back in. Mina is still moving to America and Nayeon still isn’t sure where they stand. Even though she wants nothing more than to pretend that everything is fine, she knows that pretending will only lead to more pain and confusion. 

The walk back to the room is quiet and tense. Nayeon leads the way, glancing at Mina every now and then. The younger girl’s anxiety seems to worsen, eyes darting around nervously. Nayeon feels bad for confronting her twice for two days in a row but she knows, after months of therapy and constant support from her friends, that everything can be fixed if they just sat down and talked.

When Nayeon locks the door behind her, she knows there’s no turning back. 

“Nayeonnie,” Mina begins, standing in the middle of the room with her arms crossed. 

“Are you staying?” is the first question that pops out of Nayeon’s mouth. Better to be straightforward, after all. Her heart is pounding painfully inside her ribcage and the coffee she drank earlier doesn’t seem like such a good idea right now. She’s been holding herself back from asking that question and now that it’s finally out in the open, she can’t help but wish she didn’t say it at all. Ignorance is bliss, after all. If Mina tells her that she isn’t staying, then Nayeon’s heart would break all over again.

(Mina swallows painfully, the answer already at the tip of her tongue.)

“No,” Mina answers, shaking her head, “I’m not staying.”

Nayeon feels like she’s been punched in the gut. Her back hits the door behind her as she struggles to come to terms with Mina’s decision. She’s not staying. _She’s not staying_.

“Is it…” Nayeon’s mouth feels so dry. She can feel Mina staring at her, waiting for her to finish that sentence and she wishes she didn’t have to. “Is it because of me?” she whispers quietly.

“Yes,” Mina answers, taking a step closer.

It _hurts_. Knowing she was the cause of Mina’s pain was bad enough but now that she also knows she’s the reason for her leaving Japan, it feels a hundred times worse. It’s like all the pain she’s ever experienced before cannot compare to the agony she feels right now. It’s… _indescribable_. Mina won’t stay. And it’s because of her. 

“Please,” Nayeon says, tears spilling from her eyes, “don’t do this.”

Mina moves closer. “Do what?” 

“You know what.” Nayeon wipes frantically at her eyes because what did she expect? Of course Mina won’t stay, of course she’s going to leave. All the pain Nayeon caused her can’t be fixed _that _easily, after all. Perhaps the reason why Mina wanted to pretend like they just met today was to give her one last happy memory of their time together. It won’t surprise her if that’s why Mina is here right now—to give her one last taste of happiness before ultimately taking it away. 

“Nayeonnie,” Mina calls softly, closer now, “Will you _please _look at me?” 

“I’m sorry,” Nayeon tells her desperately, raising her head and meeting Mina’s gaze, “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done but _please_—don’t do this. Don’t leave for America.”

(_If Nayeon can be brave_, Mina thinks to herself, _then I can be brave too_.)

“I never said I was leaving for America.”

And just like _that_—Nayeon’s heart mends itself. 

“Wait…” She straightens her back as the words slowly hit her. “You’re… you’re not?”

Mina actually has the audacity to smile while Nayeon is still crying. “I’m not staying in Japan,” she tells her, reaching out and wiping away Nayeon’s tears, “but I’m not leaving for America, either. I’m going back to South Korea.” 

“But why?” 

“Like I said.” Mina’s gaze doesn’t leave hers. “Because of you.” 

With those words, Nayeon finally allows herself the simplest pleasure of throwing her arms around Mina and holding her close. It’s been _months_ of not seeing her, of not embracing her, of not being with her and everything she’s been struggling to hold back finally bursts open like an ancient water dam. Mina holds her back just as desperately and eagerly, tears leaking from her eyes as she buries her face against Nayeon’s hair. 

“Don’t get me wrong,” she murmurs, “I’m staying for Momo and Sana too but I can’t deny that you’re the main reason why.”

“I’m sorry,” Nayeon whispers, shaking uncontrollably in Mina’s embrace as sobs rise in her throat, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Mina says in return, “I forgive you.” 

“But—” 

“No buts,” Mina tells her fiercely, already knowing what the older girl is going to say, “It’s my choice and my feelings. I get to decide if I want to forgive you, if I want you in my life, if I’ll allow you to hurt me again and I do. I want you so much it terrifies me, Nayeon.”

Nayeon feels like everything she’s been through is worth it. All the days spent hating herself for making all the wrong choices and all the nights she lay awake in bed thinking of Mina—she would go through all of it again if it means experiencing this one singular moment where Mina forgives her. It feels like absolution—_redemption_—and Mina is the only one capable of granting it.

And now she has.

(Mina knows forgiveness is difficult to give but she also knows she won’t regret giving it to Nayeon.)

“Are you—?” 

“I’m sure, Nayeon,” Mina mumbles against her neck, squeezing her tight, “I forgive you.” 

“Even if I don’t deserve you?” Nayeon can’t help but ask. 

“Like I said,” Mina answers as she shakes her head, knowing how difficult it will be to assure Nayeon that this is her decision and she’s going to stand by it, “I get to decide if you don’t deserve me or not. And guess what—you do. Contrary to what you think, Nayeonnie, you deserve all the happiness in the world and if you want, I can give that to you. If you’ll let me.”

Nayeon chokes out a laugh, wiping at her eyes and inhaling a shaky breath. “You’ve already given me that,” she whispers, “I—I—I just don’t want you to regret this.” 

Mina leans back, arms moving down to wrap around Nayeon’s waist. “Nayeonnie,” she whispers, looking into her eyes, “I’d regret it more if I let you go.” 

(Mina means every word she says—she just wishes Nayeon would believe her.)

“Is this…” Nayeon pushes away all the insecurities and anxiety from her brain and tries to tell herself to be _happy_ for once. “Is this what you really want?” 

Mina’s answer is swift. “Yes.” She leans her forehead against Nayeon’s, who reaches out and traces the moles all over the younger girl’s face. “That’s why I asked you to pretend that this was our first time meeting because I wanted us to start over,” Mina says quietly, breathing in Nayeon’s scent, “I don’t want you to keep looking back at the past. You know you won’t find me there.” 

Nayeon nods shakily, her eyes fluttering shut. Her arms come up to wrap around Mina’s neck, pulling her closer again. She knows what losing her felt like and she doesn’t want to go through it again. A loss that great will take time to heal and for the first time ever, Nayeon realizes that they have time now. The thought is enough to melt her in a puddle of tears. 

They stay intertwined like that for several moments, just taking everything in and breathing each other in. Mina isn’t leaving for America. She’s staying. She’s here in Nayeon’s arms and she’s not going anywhere.

_I’m here_, she remembers Mina’s words on her handbook, _I’ve always been here_.

“Mina-yah,” she whispers, her fingers curling around the younger girl’s neck and her nose brushing against hers, “I love you.” The confession leaves her lips with ease, no longer riddled with pain and heartbreak. It tastes like a new beginning and it doesn’t feel scary anymore—giving her everything to another person because she knows Mina is the right one.

More tears spill from Mina’s eyes. They’re so close that Nayeon can feel her lips trembling as she says, “I love you too.” A pause. “I never stopped.”

(Mina can’t take it anymore.) 

Before Nayeon knows it, Mina’s tilting her chin up and pressing their lips together. They can still taste the coffee they drank earlier and it’s like an electric jolt passes through them. Mina exhales a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding in and Nayeon inhales it sharply, surprised at the other girl’s bold move. They kiss like they’ve been deprived of oxygen for so long, which in a way, it feels like they have. Nayeon’s fingers tighten around Mina’s neck and Mina wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her impossibly closer, not wanting to let go. 

They’ve been apart for too long—they’ve suffered far enough. 

(Mina pulls away, lips tingling. When she opens her eyes, Nayeon is gazing at her with the most loving look on her face. _This is what it means to be brave_.)

“I thought you said you weren’t the kiss-the-girl-on-the-first-date type,” Nayeon says, remembering that conversation. It feels like another lifetime ago.

Mina smiles, silver tooth peeking out. “For you, I am.”

…

(Mina wakes up. At first, she’s disoriented and confused, her brain unable to recognize her surroundings. This isn’t her room, she realizes. The first thing she sees is sunlight passing through the curtains of the window and the digital clock on the bedside table that reads 7:09 AM. She shifts, trying to rise, and then realizes that somebody’s arm is wrapped around her waist. 

_Nayeon_.

The events from last night come rushing back in. For the first time in a long time, she feels... _lighter_. A burden has been lifted. The tension in her shoulders is gone. The knots in her stomach have unravelled. She knows she’s going to be okay now.

She twists around and finds Nayeon waking up from her own slumber. 

“Hey,” the older girl says, eyes crinkled around the corners and bunny teeth peeking out from her lips shaped in a smile. She is _radiant_, brighter than the sun, and a part of Mina wonders if this is what heaven looks like.

“Is this real?” she asks, reaching out and tracing Nayeon’s lips with the tips of her fingers.

Nayeon nods, sighing in contentment, as she leans forward and kisses her.

“It’s always been real,” she answers against her mouth.)

…

_end._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue - COMING SOON. 
> 
> Thank you for following the story! I enjoyed the banter and the death threats lmao.
> 
> Next stop - SAIDA NATION. 
> 
> (And yeah, oomf was right. I'm too soft. I can't end it on a sad note.)


	8. you look perfect tonight pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Where Nayeon has a plan... or does she?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is.
> 
> Use the #NayeonWhy tag for reactions! I love reading them :D

_Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms_

_Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song_

_When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful_

_I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight_

– Ed Sheeran, Perfect

[Three years later]

...

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:04 PM)**

hey babe do u know where i put my notebook? 

**Gahyeon ** **😍** ** (1:06 PM)**

The one with your speech for the wedding?

**Gahyeon ** **😍** ** (1:07 PM)**

I think it's inside my desk drawer

**Gahyeon ** **😍** ** (1:07 PM)**

Are you nervous?

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:16 PM)**

NVM it was actually under the bed 

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:17 PM)**

and no im not nervous why would i be nervous

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:19 PM)**

????? 😅😅

**Gahyeon ** **😍** ** (1:23 PM)**

Babe the last time you delivered a speech you broke down in front of everybody and Sana got it all on tape and uploaded it on Youtube with the title: "Elsa lookalike FUCKING loses it during her best woman speech"

**Gahyeon ** **😍** ** (1:25 PM)**

I think it has over 900,000 views now?

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:27 PM)**

903 078 actually i checked this morning

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:28 PM)**

ever since momo tweeted about it yesterday it gained like another thousand views

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:28 PM)**

i cant believe its going to hit 1 million soon

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:30 PM)**

perks of being friends with a supermodel i guess 🙃

**Gahyeon ** **😍** ** (1:31 PM)**

Well you did say you wanted to be famous right?

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:32 PM)**

not like this!!! 😭😭

**Gahyeon ** **😍** ** (1:33 PM)**

Don't worry bout it :)

**Gahyeon ** **😍** ** (1:34 PM)**

This time everybody else will cry

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:35 PM)**

they better

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:36 PM)**

im fully prepared to record their crying faces

**Gahyeon ** **😍** ** (1:37 PM)**

But nobody can ever top yours ;)

**Baby Tofu ** **💘** ** (1:39 PM)**

u just revoked your goodnight kisses rights bye

…

**Jeongie ** **💗** ** (2:45 PM)**

Hey babe our flight is at 5 sharp 

**Jeongie ** **💗** ** (2:47 PM)**

See u at the airport later ok? 🥰

🍑 **(2:53 PM)**

wait how many stuffed toys am i allowed to bring again??

**Jeongie ** **💗** ** (2:54 PM)**

A maximum of three

🍑 **(2:53 PM)**

But i have 4 boos and 1 sully :(((

🍑 **(2:54 PM)**

i cant pick a favorite

🍑 **(2:54 PM)**

u cant expect me to make this decision!!!

**Jeongie ** **💗** ** (2:54 PM)**

Fine i’ll make it for u

**Jeongie ** **💗** ** (2:57 PM)**

1 boo 1 sully and 1 doggo 

🍑 **(2:59 PM)**

only 1 boo???

**Jeongie ** **💗** ** (3:00 PM)**

Yes

🍑 **(3:02 PM)**

but :(((

🍑 **(3:04 PM)**

[_Momo’s infamous puppy eyes and pouty lips selfie_.jpg]

**Jeongie ** **💗** ** (3:05 PM)**

…

**Jeongie ** **💗** ** (3:05 PM)**

Fine u can add another boo

🍑 **(3:06 PM)**

i love you!!!!! 💜💜💜

🍑 **(3:07 PM)**

i’ll see u later!!! 💜 

**Jeongie ** **💗** ** (3:09 PM)**

I love you too you big baby 🥺😚

…

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:12 PM)**

how many packs of diapers am i supposed to buy again?

**Happy Wife Happy Life 🥰 (4:13 PM)**

Just two

**Happy Wife Happy Life 🥰 (4:13 PM)**

We can buy more after we land

**Happy Wife Happy Life 🥰 (4:14 PM)**

Our flight is at 7:00 PM. Don’t be late

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:14 PM)**

gotchu 👌

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:14 PM)**

also can i buy some strawberries otw home?

**Happy Wife Happy Life 🥰 (4:15 PM)**

Is that for you or for Eunwoo?

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:16 PM)**

…

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:17 PM)**

Yes

**Happy Wife Happy Life 🥰 (4:17 PM)**

He’s going to hate strawberries if you keep shoving one into his mouth every five seconds you know.

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:19 PM)**

no son of mine will hate strawberries 😤😤

**Happy Wife Happy Life 🥰 (4:20 PM)**

And no wife of mine will disown her own child just because of some fruit.

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:21 PM)**

IM KIDDING LMAO 🤪

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:21 PM)**

i love our kid tzuyu u know that right

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:27 PM)**

Eyoooo 

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:28 PM)**

[_You have one missed call_]

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:29 PM)**

oh my gawd are u really giving me the silent treatment right now??

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:31 PM)**

Wife pls 😩😩😩

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:34 PM)**

[_gay panicked Chaeyoung meme_.jpg]

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:36 PM)**

Tzuyuuuuuuuuuu 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:38 PM)**

I love youuu!!! 

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:39 PM)**

come on u have to say it back 😬

**Happy Wife Happy Life 🥰 (4:40 PM)**

I love you too 😊

**Happy Wife Happy Life 🥰 (4:41 PM)**

Please hurry back. Our son misses you already.

**Chaengie ** **💞** ** (4:42 PM)**

roger that 👌 👌

…

**❤** **️ ** **💙** **🧡** **💚💜💛** ** (5:09 PM) **

Hey, Sana. Sorry I had to leave while you’re still sleeping. There were some issues with the venue. Text me when you get this. I’ll be back soon. I love you! **❤️**

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (5:45 PM)**

JIHYO!!!!!!!

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (5:45 PM)**

i cant believe u just left ur fiance in bed!!! 😡😡😡

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (5:46 PM)**

i am completely and utterly devastated by this betrayal!!!

**❤** **️ ** **💙** **🧡** **💚💜💛** ** (5:47 PM) **

You are such a baby.

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (5:48 PM)**

i think thats already been well established

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (5:49 PM)**

reminder: u’re marrying this baby five days from now 😜😜😜😜

**❤** **️ ** **💙** **🧡** **💚💜💛** ** (5:51 PM) **

You don’t have to remind me, you know.

**❤** **️ ** **💙** **🧡** **💚💜💛** ** (5:52 PM)**

I’ve been waiting all year for this.

**❤** **️ ** **💙** **🧡** **💚💜💛** ** (5:54 PM)**

I can’t wait to be married to you **🥰**

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (5:56 PM)**

**😭😭😭😭😭😭😭**

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (5:56 PM)**

Stop that!!!!! Im supposed to be mad at u for leaving me in bed!!!!!!!!

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (5:57 PM)**

i was hoping to get a lil bit of action before the girls arrive tomorrow 😫😫😫😫😫😫

**❤** **️ ** **💙** **🧡** **💚💜💛** ** (5:59 PM)**

Sana… we’re going to exhaust ourselves by the time our wedding night comes.

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (6:01 PM)**

can you blame me jihyo??? Have u SEEN urself???

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (6:02 PM)**

Oh my god i cant wait to call u my wife already 🥺🥺🥺

**❤** **️ ** **💙** **🧡** **💚💜💛** ** (6:04 PM)**

Stop it. You’re making me blush! 😳

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (6:05 PM)**

**😉😉😉😉😉**

**My Fiance ** **✨** ** (6:07 PM)**

come back soon and i’ll give u something else to blush about 😏😏

**❤** **️ ** **💙** **🧡** **💚💜💛** ** (6:09 PM)**

🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️

…

**Minguin ** **💚** ** (8:03 PM)**

Hey, I’m at the airport already. Where are you?

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:05 PM)**

stuck in traffic atm

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:06 PM)**

i’ll be there soon dw 😊

**Minguin ** **💚** ** (8:07 PM)**

Jihyo will kill us if we ever miss our flight.

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:08 PM)**

dont remind me pls omfg 

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:10 PM)**

the last time i gave her bad news she nearly bit my head off 😫

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:11 PM)**

just how stressful is it to plan a wedding???

**Minguin ** **💚** ** (8:12 PM)**

I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been married before 😏

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:13 PM)**

Good! 

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:14 PM)**

uhm anyways i’m just around the corner now hehe

**Minguin ** **💚** ** (8:14 PM)**

Didn’t you get off work early? Why are you so late?

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:15 PM)**

Ahahaha u know me!!!

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:16 PM)**

im always late 😂😂

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:16 PM)**

better late than never right???? 

**Minguin ** **💚** ** (8:18 PM)**

You said that last time and you ended up missing our flight straight to Paris for our third anniversary. We had to rebook. It was expensive. Don’t do that again, please 🥺

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:20 PM)**

Ofc not babe 

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:21 PM)**

Ok im outside

**Nayeonnie ** **🐰** ** (8:21 PM)**

i wont keep u waiting anymore 😊😊

**Minguin ** **💚** ** (8:22 PM)**

Good 😚

Nayeon takes a deep breath when she gets out of the taxi, a nervous lump in her throat and a tight knot in her chest. She doesn’t like lying to Mina, much less making her wait. But still, she knows it’s for a good reason. When the store told her that the ring would be delayed due to some unexpected circumstances, she considered putting the whole thing off. Surely, there are other places where you can propose to the love of your life, right? It doesn’t _have _to be at someone else’s wedding. 

But Mina’s been waiting all year to visit Honolulu, Hawaii. Even though they’re only going there for Jihyo and Sana’s wedding, she’s already booked a couple of places they can go to before they head back home. It was clear that she wanted to make the trip worthwhile, complete with an itinerary that Nayeon knows will be in her hands the whole time they’re there. It’s cute and endearing. Mina told her it’s because they both deserve a vacation. God, Nayeon loves her so much.

Before entering the airport, Nayeon reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out the small velvet box where the custom made engagement ring is. With shaking hands, she opens it. The diamond glitters under the sunlight, blinding her eyes for a split second. She knows that written under the band are the words _I will always be here _engraved into palladium metal. It’s a promise she intends to keep. Mina deserves nothing less, after all. Despite the insistent thoughts of her not being good enough for the younger girl, Nayeon is glad that they made it this far. 

Mina hasn’t mentioned anything about marriage when they got the invitation to Sana and Jihyo’s wedding. They’ve already discussed their ideal wedding a year into their relationship. Mina wants one near the beach, similar to what Chaeyoung and Tzuyu had for theirs, where you could hear the waves crashing against the shore and the ocean calling out to you. For Mina, it will sound like home. 

When she was a little girl, Nayeon had this whole perfect image in her head about how her wedding would go—at least five performances from her favorite artists, an extravagant feast for the guests, the most important people in her life being there to witness her walking down the aisle in an expensive white dress. She had it all planned. But lately, she’s realized that it doesn’t matter where or how her wedding is going to take place. As long as it’s Mina she’s getting married to, Nayeon would agree to marrying her behind a dumpster.

But Mina doesn’t deserve that.

Mina deserves the entire universe and Nayeon is determined to give it to her.

“Don’t worry, babe,” she murmurs under her breath, pocketing the box, “You don’t have to wait anymore.”

…

(When Mina sees Nayeon emerging from the crowd of people heading towards their flight, her heart soars. Nayeon is beautiful as always, her long dark hair messy and windswept, her eyes searching the crowd for her girlfriend and her bunny smile widening when their gazes finally meet. It’s been three years but not a day goes by where Mina doesn’t think she’s the luckiest person in the entire planet for being with the one and only Im Nayeon.)

…

“Eight hours of sitting on our asses,” Nayeon mumbles, adjusting her seat, “Watch me complain about it the whole ride.” 

Mina chuckles next to her. “Please don’t, babe,” she says, “I love you, but I will not hesitate to shove a book into your mouth to shut you up.”

Nayeon scoffs, affronted, but doesn’t say anything else. Instead, she reclines her chair back slightly and reaches for her girlfriend’s hand. Almost at once, Mina intertwines their fingers together, humming to herself, while she uses her other hand to pull out a Nintendo Switch from her bag. 

Nayeon pouts. “Are you going to play the whole time?” 

“Yes.”

The older girl whines, shaking their clasped hands. “But that would mean you’d have to let go of my hand!” 

Mina pauses, eyes narrowing, before she sighs and puts away her Switch. “Priorities, then,” she agrees, shooting Nayeon a bright grin, “What do you want to do?” 

Nayeon considers popping the question right there and then. Would that be too cheesy? Proposing while the two of you are up in the clouds? She doesn’t think Mina would mind. She thinks Mina would says yes to her regardless of time and place. That’s one of the few things Nayeon likes to tease her girlfriend about—even though three years have passed, Mina is still completely and utterly whipped for her.

Before, Nayeon would worry about being undeserving of such devotion but now, she knows she wouldn’t have it any other way. After years of thinking that she doesn’t deserve to be loved by anybody, Mina has consistently proven her wrong over and over again. It might’ve taken Nayeon a while to finally accept Mina’s love purely and wholeheartedly but it’s a decision she hasn’t regretted ever since. 

Sometimes, it feels like all the love in the world isn’t enough to describe what she feels for Mina. 

As a response to the question, Nayeon uses her other hand to cup Mina’s cheek and leans forward. The kiss they share ends too quickly for their liking but they’re in public, after all. Besides, Mina prefers to keep their kisses behind closed doors. 

But when they both pull away, Mina has this soft look on her face. “What was that for?” 

_Will you marry me_? Nayeon imagines saying and the box in her coat pocket suddenly feels heavier. No. Not yet. It’s not the right time. She has a plan, after all. Take Mina out on a romantic date, walk along the beach and then propose to her in front of the setting sun. Everything needs to be _perfect_.

So she smiles, shakes her head and says, “Nothing, I just love you.”

Mina’s gummy smile is as beautiful as the moon behind her. Her silver tooth peeks out. “I love you too, you big baby,” she murmurs, pecking her lips once more before pulling away, “Come on, let’s watch a movie.” 

Nayeon always hates long flights but with Mina, she can manage. 

…

(Before long, Nayeon's head drops on Mina's shoulder and her fingers go limp in her grip. Mina chuckles, adjusting their position, as she reaches with her left hand to shut the movie off. It's not fun without her girlfriend by her side, making stupid comments and whining about the cheesy plot. 

Soft snores can be heard from in between Nayeon's lips, solidifying the fact that she is, indeed, fast asleep. Mina hums, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind Nayeon's ear and looking down at her girlfriend with a large, gummy smile on her face.

Has it really been three years? 

It still feels like yesterday when Nayeon showed up in Kobe, searching for her and confessing her love. Mina still kept the handbooks. They serve as strong reminders of the hurt and agony they went through the five months they were apart.

And now, they'll never be apart again. 

Mina's smile widens as she closes her eyes and falls asleep against Nayeon's head.)

…

Nayeon's neck is sore when they leave the airport hand in hand. She should've used her neck pillow. She brought it with her, fully expecting to use it, only to end up falling asleep halfway through the movie they watched. Still, it's not her fault Mina's shoulder just happened to be the closest thing she ended up falling asleep on. As they leave the airport, she spots Mina rubbing her neck as well, apparently suffering the same pain as her. 

"You should've woken me up, you know," Nayeon tells her after they enter a cab and tell the driver their hotel's address with Mina flaunting her English skills. She reaches out and rubs at her girlfriend's shoulder, frowning when Mina winces. 

"It's fine," the younger girl says, leaning into her touch, "You looked cute." 

"Now we're _both _suffering from stiff necks." 

"I would've expected you to say something romantic in return." 

"Like what? That even in pain and suffering, we're together?" Nayeon laughs as she says this, her hand now moving to cup the back of Mina’s neck, thumb rubbing soothing circles against the knot of tension she finds there. The past few years have proven to her that Mina is one of the most romantic people she knows even though she's not showy about it—she once caught the girl writing a song about Nayeon entitled _Shot Thru The Heart. _Her discovery led to Mina giving her the cold shoulder for two weeks straight until Nayeon literally begged to be given attention. Mina never finished the song though, no matter how many times Nayeon asked her to. 

Mina's eyes sparkle as she smiles, silver tooth peeking through. “Isn’t that _always _the case between us?” she asks cheekily, leaning forward. Thankfully, there’s a partition dividing them and the driver, hiding their flirty interaction, so she’s a little brave with her affection. Nayeon feels her cheeks burn.

“Uh…” she begins, trying to get her brain to start working. 

“You’re too cute, Nayeonnie,” Mina says, her smile widening. 

Sometimes, Nayeon thinks she’ll never get used to Mina being bold. It’s still a pleasant surprise, however, when she feels Mina’s lips against hers. Soft and sweet. Completely and utterly hers. Her hand moves on its own accord, checking to see if the box is still in her coat pocket. Okay. It’s there. Should she do it now? While they’re still in the confines of this car? Would it be romantic enough? Her thoughts run around in circles and only stop when Mina pulls away. 

“Ow,” the younger girl mutters, bringing a hand up to her neck, “Okay, I regret my choice of being your human pillow for like six hours.” 

Nayeon wants to throw her head back and laugh at her girlfriend’s misery but a sharp pain jolts through her own neck as well. Wincing, she intertwines her fingers with Mina’s and squeezes. “Love you, babe," she says, not knowing what else to say but knowing that these words are enough. 

Mina chuckles. “We’ll use our neck pillows when we fly home,” she promises. 

Their hands remain intertwined and the box in Nayeon’s coat pocket has never felt so heavy. 

…

(The rest of the girls have already arrived by the time Mina and Nayeon get to their hotel. The venue for Sana and Jihyo's wedding is located at Magic Island, which is a popular, romantic spot for couples to get hitched. Not a lot of people have been invited—both brides wanted it to be a very intimate event.

Nayeon receives a text from Jeongyeon saying that they're at the dining hall already, enjoying breakfast. "Everybody except Sana and Jihyo are there," she says after checking in with the front desk. 

"Let's drop off our things first," Mina suggests, still jet-lagged from their overnight flight, "I might be hungry but I need to take a shower.”

They head up the elevator, dragging their luggage behind them. Mina leans her head on Nayeon's shoulder, the ache in her neck gradually fading away. They managed to catch an hour's worth of sleep in the taxi but she still closes her eyes and lets herself doze off for a couple more seconds. When she hears the elevator doors sliding open, she opens them and finds Nayeon gazing at her intently. 

"Is there something on my face?” Mina mumbles, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend's.

“Yes,” Nayeon responds, leaning forward and kissing her, “_This._”)

…

Sometimes, it's hard to keep her hands to herself. When she and Mina were a few months deep into their relationship, Nayeon had tried her very best to be respectful of any boundaries she might unknowingly cross. Getting together was a strange process for two reasons—one, because they were learning each other all over again and two, nothing was holding them back anymore. It was a push and pull dynamic. Nayeon wanted to shower her with all the love in the world, despite being afraid that it could blow up in her face. On the other hand, Mina was shy and inexperienced but willing to try for her, even though she’d been badly hurt. Now that Nayeon looks back into it, she realizes how stupid she was. Mina has never, not once, shied away from her advances. Mina always held her hand every time Nayeon pulled away. Mina always kissed her back, even when they were in the middle of an argument. Mina always let her in when she followed. They could never stay mad at each other for too long, after all. They knew what it was like to be apart and didn't want to go through it again. 

Just a month after getting together, Mina had cornered Nayeon at her apartment, locked all the doors and windows, and dragged her into bed with her. That had been their first time making love. Nayeon had counted the constellations marking Mina's face. She had eight moles back then.

This is what Nayeon is thinking about as she sneaks into the bathroom while Mina is showering. She discards her clothes into the hamper, smiling to herself when she hears Mina humming a soft tune under her breath. She recognizes the song but can't think of the title, the lyrics flashing in her mind like a Las Vegas sign. 

_I know only you and me_

_I’ve been waiting only for you_

_Here is my heart, ooh girl_

Quietly, she walks across the small space between the door and the shower and reaches out to pull the shower door open. Mina smiles when she sees her, caught in the middle of shampooing her hair. "Hi," she says, water still running behind her, "I don't recall you needing a shower."

Nayeon steps closer, letting the water soak her skin, as she reaches for the soap behind Mina. “I always need a shower,” she says, pressing her lips against her girlfriend's.

They take their time scrubbing each other's backs and washing the other one's hair. It's always fun showering together, especially when Nayeon struggles to keep her eyes open just to watch the smile on Mina's face. A few kisses are shared every now and then, tasting of shampoo and soap but they don't mind. As long as they stay connected in some way, whether its by holding hands or kissing. 

Despite the eight hour jet lag, Nayeon feels painfully awake as she dips her tongue in between Mina's lips, pressing her close against the wall and away from the onslaught of the shower. Mina hums, slightly surprised but welcoming nonetheless. She wraps her arms around Nayeon's neck, pulling her in. Nayeon can feel the swell of her breasts and the hardness of her nipples on her skin. Mina's body never lies and right now, she _wants _Nayeon.

"What about breakfast?" Mina mumbles against her mouth, cupping the back of her neck and pulling back slightly to meet Nayeon's hooded gaze.

In response, Nayeon shuts the shower off, even though bubbles of soap still cling to their skin. "Breakfast," she says, hungry for something else or… _someone _else, "can wait." 

Nayeon slides her fingers into Mina's waiting core and relishes in the moan the younger girl mumbles against the skin of her neck. She keeps her close, holding her girlfriend snug around the middle so they won't slip on the floor. Mina's left hand clutches at her shoulder while the other wraps around her waist. Nayeon moves slowly and easily, the muscles in her arm starting to burn as she picks up her pace. She peppers kisses all over Mina's neck, moving her face so that their foreheads are pressed together. She can feel each shallow breath Mina takes as her fingers pump furiously into her, relentless and determined to take her to the edge. It's intoxicating—how Mina desperately kisses her the closer she is to her climax and how Nayeon closes her eyes the more her arm starts to ache and burn. _Almost there. _

When Mina's walls clench around her fingers, Nayeon pulls back to watch the look on her girlfriend's face. She drinks in all the little details—the way Mina's eyebrows furrow, the way she bites on her lower lip, the way sweat clings to her skin. She isn't loud when she comes but her expression speaks a thousand words. Nayeon can't get enough of it. _Beautiful_. If she was an artist, she'd do anything to immortalize this image._ You’re mine_, she thinks to herself, still giddy at the thought, _and I’m yours._

She pulls her fingers out and kisses Mina again. "Morning," she says, grinning broadly. 

Mina’s legs are shaking as she lightly pushes her girlfriend off her. "Give me a minute," she mumbles, pupils dilated and cheeks flushed, "I'll—I'll return the favor." 

Nayeon responds by turning the shower on. "No time," she says, rinsing the shampoo out of her hair and pretending not to hear Mina’s outraged groan, "Our friends are waiting for us." 

…

("Chaeyoung-ah!" 

The younger girl looks up in surprise when Mina and Nayeon emerge from their room before her face splits up in a broad grin at the sight of them. "Hey! Didn't think we were on the same floor," she says. In her arms are a bunch of baby supplies—diapers, towels, pacifiers and a small lion plushie. 

The reminder that Chaeyoung and Tzuyu are now parents is a shot of serotonin into Mina's system. Despite being young, the two of them work like a well-oiled machine. Their six-month old son, Eunwoo, is their pride and joy. 

Nayeon lets go of Mina's hand and practically engulfs Chaeyoung in a tight hug. The younger girl chokes out a laugh, still not letting go of the supplies but nuzzling her head on her unnie's chest instead. "Missed you, Nayeonnie," she mumbles. 

Nayeon laughs, looking very happy, and Mina can't help but stare. "I missed you too, baby beast. But how's _your _baby beast?" 

"Just as the name suggests." Chaeyoung winces and looks around suddenly, as if she's afraid of being overheard. "Don't tell Tzuyu I said that." 

"My lips are sealed," Nayeon responds, finally letting go. 

Mina takes a step forward and hugs Chaeyoung too. She smells of strawberries, as she always does. "We haven't played PUBG in a long time," she reminds her, "Dahyun's been moping." 

Chaeyoung laughs. "I know, I know," she mutters, "Apparently, there's a new update. I haven't checked it out yet. Did you bring your Nintendo Switch?" 

Mina nods, patting her purse. "I always do." 

Chaeyoung looks so happy she could cry. "I'm so happy you guys are here," she says, nodding at the supplies in her arms, "I love my son and all, but I haven't gotten more than three hours of sleep every night. I think he adores Tzuyu more than me. Can you believe that?" 

Mina bites back a grin. "Yeah, I can believe it." 

Chaeyoung looks offended. "Traitor." 

Nayeon wraps an arm around the younger girl, presses a wet kiss on the side of her head and leads her to the elevator, all the while declaring, “Let’s go! I wanna see Eunwoo again! And don’t worry, Chaengie, I will _always _adore you!”

Mina laughs, shaking her head, when she sees the look of thinly veiled disgust on Chaeyoung’s face. She follows them into the elevator where she takes the lion plushie from the stuff in Chaeyoung’s arms. “Does your son take after you?” she asks, pinching the younger girl’s cheek. 

“Yah!” Almost at once, Chaeyoung’s eyes light up like a thousand stars in the night sky. “Can you believe that even though Tzuyu carried him, his dimple is on his _right _cheek? Like mine? The universe works in mysterious ways, indeed.”

“Watch him get sick of strawberries when he grows up,” Nayeon points out. 

The affronted expression on Chaeng’s face makes them both laugh. “No son of mine,” she mutters and the elevator doors slide shut.) 

…

When they get to the dining hall, everybody has already finished eating and are now catching up over some coffee. Nayeon spots Tzuyu standing up and rocking her crying baby to sleep, looking tired but very content. Jeongyeon and Dahyun are busy watching something on their phones, unable to hide the loud giggles that erupt past their lips. On the other hand, Gahyeon and Momo are deep in a conversation, the latter forming a circle with her hands as she tries to better explain her thoughts. “_You know what I mean_?” she says and Nayeon laughs when she hears it. 

Everybody turns at their entrance but Nayeon’s eyes are fixed on Eunwoo. “Tzuyu-yah!” she calls, grabbing the attention of the other guests. She pays them no mind, practically sprinting across the room just to get to where Tzuyu is already waiting for her, a wide smile on her face. “Hi, how are you? Did you eat breakfast already? Are your arms tired—”

“She wants to hold the baby,” Mina says behind her as she passes by to head to the others. 

Tzuyu pretends to glare at Nayeon but her smile is genuine. “I see that you asking for my well being is only a ruse to take my son away from me,” she comments. Chaeyoung appears by her side then, cooing at the baby with the little lion plushie she brought along. Eunwoo has already stopped crying, his face lighting up at the toy. Chaeyoung was right—he _does _have a dimple on his right cheek. 

“Can you blame me?” Nayeon whines, “It’s been _months _since I’ve last seen Eunwoo. I’m literally going to die any second now if I don’t get to hold him!”

“We missed you too, unnie!” Both Jeongyeon and Dahyun sarcastically say from their seats. 

Tzuyu rolls her eyes but concedes. Nayeon squeals happily once Eunwoo is in her arms, her heart racing when she feels his warmth envelop her. God—he smells _so _good. Like happiness and sunshine. He’s also gotten heavier since the last time she saw him which was a couple of days after he was born. Back then, he resembled a little rat with barely no hair and flushed skin. But now, his hair is longer, curling around his head in cute little ringlets; his eyes are golden brown just like his mother’s and two front teeth are peeking out from under his lower lip. He looks so adorable Nayeon can almost cry. 

Tzuyu presses a quick kiss to Eunwoo’s head before she passes the lion plushie to Nayeon. “He’s yours for the next few hours—I’m going to nap,” she says seriously. 

“Can I join you?” Chaeyoung whines, biting back a yawn, “He was so loud when we got here last night. I couldn’t sleep even when you woke up to check on him.” 

Tzuyu thinks about it even though she’s already throwing a suggestive wink at her wife. “No funny business,” she says. 

Nayeon pretends to gag but listens attentively when Tzuyu explains where Eunwoo’s stuff is, like his bottles, his pacifier, his blanket, his sweater—_literally _everything that Eunwoo owns, they brought along. Chaeyoung makes a joke that they had to pay extra at the airport for his stuff. Judging by Tzuyu’s unimpressed expression, it’s not a joke. 

“Where are you guys going?” Dahyun asks, looking like a lost puppy when she sees Chaeyoung grabbing her bag. 

“To sleep,” Chaeyoung answers, patting her best friend’s head, “Sorry, bro. We’re just _so _tired.”

Gahyeon snorts. “Sleep or…?” 

“Sleep,” Tzuyu confirms. 

Momo hides a cough behind her hand. “Sleep my ass.” Jeongyeon high-fives her.

Tzuyu wisely ignores that comment and turns to Nayeon. “If he starts looking for us or if something bad happens, you _will _call me, understood?” The maknae of their group is normally very pure and innocent but with her deadly glare, Nayeon can’t help but gulp and nod furiously. 

“Understood.” 

Chaeyoung wraps her arms around Tzuyu and rests her head on her wife’s shoulder. “Tzuyu-yah,” she mumbles, “Can we go now? I’m going to collapse the more we stay here.”

“In a second, Chaengie.” 

The two mothers turn to their son. Tzuyu’s eyes go all soft and Chaeyoung lets out a quiet groan when Eunwoo struggles out of Nayeon’s hold and reaches out with his chubby arms. The effect is instantaneous—the couple steps forward but Nayeon is already backing away. “Ah, nope!” she says, “The two of you need to sleep. Really, you guys look like sh—_shiitake_.” 

Both Tzuyu and Chaeyoung glare at her. “If I hear you say one curse word around my son,” the shorter girl grumbles, “I will revoke your future visiting rights.” 

Nayeon gapes, hugging Eunwoo closer to her. “You _wouldn’t_!” 

“I’m afraid I’d have to agree on my wife this time,” Tzuyu says, shaking her head, before she looks over Nayeon’s shoulder and meets Jeongyeon’s gaze, “Please tell me if Nayeon says a curse word.” 

“You can count on me!” Jeongyeon says, pumping her fist in the air. 

After a few minutes of cooing at Eunwoo, Chaeyoung finally takes Tzuyu’s hand and leads her out the dining hall. Nayeon watches them go, knowing how exhausted they are and feeling proud that she helped in some small way. To keep the baby in her arms from crying, she turns his face away and hugs him tighter. _God_, she thinks to herself, eyes flickering over to where Mina is sitting next to Dahyun, _I can’t wait to have one of our own. _

“You should be happy,” Gahyeon points out when Nayeon takes a seat next to her, “You’re the only one Tzuyu trusts with her baby.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Momo leans over her chair to make faces at Eunwoo. “Well,” she says, pinching the baby’s cheeks, “We offered multiple times to watch over him while they took a break but she only agreed to do so when you guys arrived.” 

The thought is so heart-warming Nayeon kind of wants to cry.

Dahyun suddenly yells triumphantly. When Nayeon glances at her, she sees that Mina has given the blonde her Nintendo Switch. Apparently, there’s more than one child in this area. Jeongyeon whines at this, apparently wanting to play as well, so Mina rolls her eyes and pulls out _another _Nintendo Switch Lite. Okay. Make that three children. 

“How many did you bring?” Nayeon asks her girlfriend, laughing when this time, it’s Momo who whines and begs Jeongyeon to let her play. 

Mina winks at her. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out.” 

The rest of the morning is spent catching up over the past few months they weren’t able to hang out. The last time they did so was on Dahyun’s birthday. Unfortunately, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu couldn’t come since Eunwoo was too young to travel at that time. And now, the two of them are upstairs, either fast asleep or making good use of their time together. Nayeon doesn’t even want to know what they’re up to. Being parents has its downsides, after all. 

“How’s the hospital?” Gahyeon asks Jeongyeon. She’s been a great addition to the group—a calm contrast to the happy-go-lucky Kim Dahyun. They’ve been dating on and off for the past few years, mostly because of Gahyeon constantly having to travel for her job. But it seems like she’s here to stay. Nayeon is glad. Dahyun really loves her. Not as much as she loves Chaeyoung, though, but it’s a close second. 

Jeongyeon groans, keeping her attention fixed on the game console. “Don’t remind me,” she says, “Getting a day off from the hospital is like stumbling across Jesus in the night market.” 

“I don’t think Jesus has ever been to a night market,” Dahyun points out, ever the church girl. 

“Exactly.”

“But He’s always in our hearts so—”

Momo snorts, subtly changing the topic. “What about you, Mina?” she asks, “You got promoted to senior IT specialist in your company, right? Sana wouldn’t stop screaming about it the other day.” 

“I was.” Mina smiles shyly, even though it’s clear that she’s very proud of this fact. She’s only been working at her new company for two years. To be promoted to such a high position in a short period of time is nothing to gloss over. Nayeon sends her a wink over Eunwoo’s sweet-smelling head. 

“That calls for a celebration!” Jeongyeon shouts excitedly and Momo quickly shuts her up with a kiss and a stern, “Be quiet, you’re disturbing the guests."

Eunwoo starts crying out of nowhere, waving his short chubby arms around. Nayeon leans back, frowning when she can see tears leaking from his eyes. “Are you hungry, baby?” she asks, looking for his bag. She doesn’t have to look too long since Mina quickly stands up from her seat and grabs it for her, taking out a bottle full of milk at the same time. 

“Let me,” she says.

Nayeon passes Eunwoo to her girlfriend. Mina adjusts the baby in her arms, minding his head and making sure he’s comfortable. Then she lines the bottle to his lips, cooing softly when he stops crying to drink his milk. Nayeon can’t help but stare, her heart fluttering at the sight. Seeing Mina with a baby in her arms, looking like a natural mother, is enough to get her thinking about the velvet box she hid upstairs in their room, inside the bottom drawer to her bedside table.

_One day_, she thinks to herself, pulling out her phone and snapping a candid shot, _you’ll be holding _our_ son_.

…

(“Can I carry him?” Momo asks Mina after Nayeon stands up to get them some breakfast. Dahyun and Jeongyeon are still engrossed in their game. Gahyeon is pouting next to her girlfriend, clearly put off that she’s not being given any attention. Mina looks up at Momo who has a large, eager smile on her lips. 

Eunwoo is still drinking from his milk so Mina puts down the bottle and adjusts him in her arms. Momo stands up, practically buzzing with excitement. Mina is about to hand her the baby when—

“Don’t give him to her!” Jeongyeon yells, standing up so quickly the chair topples behind her. She puts the game console on the table and looks ready to charge at Momo without a second’s thought. It would’ve been hilarious had it not been for the completely betrayed look on Momo’s face.

Dahyun nearly drops the Nintendo Switch had it not been for Mina’s outraged cry. Thankfully, she manages to catch it at the very last second. Gahyeon jolts, shocked by the sudden turn of events. Momo turns to her girlfriend, mouth hanging wide open. Did Jeongyeon really just—?

Nayeon returns with two plates of food, a confused look on her face. “What’s going on?” she asks. “Did I come back to a break-up?”

“Don’t you trust me with Eunwoo?” Momo questions Jeongyeon in an incredulous, almost hysterical tone.

The nurse raises her hands in surrender. “Tzuyu may or may not have asked me to keep an eye out on you in case you wanted to hold her kid,” she says sheepishly, “Look, it’s nothing against you, babe. I’m just following a mother’s orders.” 

Momo stomps her feet, whining like a baby. Mina readjusts Eunwoo in her arms again, biting back a laugh. _Of course _Tzuyu wouldn’t trust Momo with a baby. Momo might exude professional model vibes but she’s as clumsy as Sana when the cameras aren’t on her. Still, she kind of feels bad. Momo _has _been eyeing Eunwoo the whole time Mina’s been holding him.

“Okay,” she says, standing up and shooting Jeongyeon a look, “Don’t tell Tzuyu.”

Jeong pales. “If she kills me, you’re paying for the funeral.”

Before Dahyun can open her mouth, Mina quickly adds, “Don’t tell Chaeyoung too.”

“But—?” The blonde gapes at her, as if the thought of _not_ telling Chaeyoung something is a completely foreign idea to her. “Bros before hoes!”

Jeongyeon shoots Dahyun a look. “Dubu, your girlfriend is sitting next to you.”

“_Please_.” Gahyeon snorts, waving her off, “If Chaeng and I were hanging by our fingertips on a cliff’s edge, Dahyun wouldn’t hesitate to save her first.”

Dahyun’s mouth drops. “I thought we agreed no hard feelings on that!”

Mina ignores her bickering friends and passes Eunwoo to Momo. Nayeon has quickly put down their plates of food and is now anxiously watching the situation. “Careful of his head,” she says, looking like she’s seconds away from biting her nails or ripping her hair out. Mina snorts, even though she can understand why she’s nervous. If Tzuyu doesn’t trust Momo to hold her son and something bad happened, it would be hell on earth for all of them. 

Everybody seems to be holding their breath as Momo gently carries Eunwoo in her arms, left arm wrapped around his waist and right hand cupped on the back of his head. The baby, for some reason, doesn’t cry at the fact he’s been handed off to a stranger. He probably hasn’t noticed that his mothers have already left. Mina watches as he leans his cheek on Momo’s shoulder and slowly falls asleep. 

The tension dissipates. Dahyun returns to her game, Gaheyon sighs in relief, Jeongyeon dramatically drops back on her chair and ends up with her ass on the floor. Momo laughs, looking very pleased with herself, as she continues to rock the baby in her arms.

“But _I _wanted to hold him while he was sleeping,” Nayeon points out, whine in her voice. As a response, Momo sticks her tongue at her. Apparently, Eunwoo is the mature one here.

Mina rolls her eyes, takes her girlfriend’s hand and directs her to the food she bought. “You’ll get to hold him later,” she says, “but for now, I’m starving.”)

…

The girls have decided to stay an entire week in Hawaii to accommodate for the three-day event. Due to their incredibly busy schedules, Jihyo and Sana have decided to hold their bachelorette party two nights before their wedding, similar to what Chaeyoung and Tzuyu did. Then the next day, they’ll have their rehearsal dinner. Today is considered a free day so Nayeon suggests just staying in and watching a movie. 

There’s another reason she doesn’t want to leave the hotel right now—she needs to talk to Chaeyoung.

“Have you called them?” Mina asks, holding a sleeping Eunwoo in her arms as the elevator brings them up to their floor, “It’s been a few hours already—I think that’s enough time for them to catch a break.”

“Hold on, let me try again.” Nayeon pulls out her phone and dials Tzuyu’s number. She knows how much of a deep sleeper Chaeyoung is. If she wants somebody to pick up, Tzuyu is her first option.

Just as expected, Tzuyu answers on the second ring. “Is Eunwoo okay? What happened? Did you let Momo hold him? Is he safe—”

“We’re heading to your room now,” Nayeon says. Jeongyeon and Momo are out exploring the city with the limited English they know. For some reason, Jeong thinks Google Translate will be a helpful tool in communicating with the locals. It’s probably going to end very badly. Mina wished them luck with a straight expression and told them to call her if they ever got lost. She _is_ the best English speaker out of all of them. On the other hand, Dahyun and Gahyeon decided to watch a movie in the cinema, content in spending time with each other before the usual shenanigans start happening. 

By the time they get to their floor, Tzuyu is already waiting out in the hall.

“How was he?” Tzuyu asks, holding her arms out as Mina passes her the baby.

“He didn’t even notice you were gone,” Nayeon cheekily says. 

Tzuyu looks like she’s going to cry once she hears those words. Mina elbows Nayeon hard. “I’m kidding!” she’s quick to say, realizing that having your son not miss you for a few hours is probably not what a mother wants to hear, “He cried a few times but we managed to get him to sleep.”

Tzuyu nods, relieved and satisfied. “Thank you for watching over him,” she says, “Ever since he was born, we haven’t gotten more than three hours of sleep. I think Chaeng’s going to lose her mind.” 

“You guys are good parents,” Mina says, “Sometimes, I can’t believe you guys _actually _have a baby. But I can see that you love him more than anything in the world.”

Nayeon gazes at Tzuyu, feeling her heart flutter when Tzuyu smiles, the dimple on her left cheek showing. She might not know her as much as she knows Chaeyoung but she can see how Tzuyu practically glows at Mina’s words. “Thank you, unnie,” she says, “Sometimes, I can’t believe it myself. It feels like it was only yesterday that I was getting married.” 

“Well,” Nayeon points out, leaning on the wall, “you and Chaeng _did _move fast.” 

“It’s still the best decision I’ve ever made.” 

“And now it’s Sana and Jihyo whose getting married,” Mina muses, shooting her girlfriend a look. It’s enough to set Nayeon on edge. Was that a sign? Does Mina know about the ring? Should she propose _now_? She thinks if she hurries enough, she’ll be able to grab the engagement box from their room and propose right there in the hallway with Tzuyu and Eunwoo as witness.

Tzuyu laughs, breaking Nayeon’s thoughts. “Yeah,” she agrees, “Time moves so fast. Soon, this baby will be crawling on all fours, then he’ll be walking and then he’ll be willingly eating strawberries like Chaeng. I think of him going to college and I just—” She cuts herself off, eyes suddenly filled with tears, and Nayeon is quick to engulf her in a hug, careful not to accidentally wake Eunwoo up. 

“He’s only six months old,” she reminds the younger girl gently, standing on her tiptoes just so that she can pat her head, “You don’t have to be in a rush.”

Mina is the one who steps up and wipes Tzuyu’s tears for her. “He’ll grow up to be an amazing kid,” she says, smiling so wide Nayeon spots her silver tooth peeking out, “because he has you and Chaeng watching over him.”

“Not to mention,” Nayeon brings up, “eight other crazy aunts who’ll spoil him on every birthday.”

Tzuyu snorts, shaking her head. “Don’t spoil him too much,” she warns. 

“No promises.” 

Eunwoo suddenly moves his arms, apparently having heard that he won’t be spoiled for every birthday, and wakes up crying. Tzuyu sighs, understanding that peace has broken. Even though she looks tired, she still gives her son a large smile as she coddles him. 

“We’ll get going now,” Mina says, reaching out and intertwining her fingers with Nayeon’s.

“Thank you again,” the younger girl tells them. 

Nayeon waves her off. “Not a problem.” She not so discreetly glances into the room behind Tzuyu. “Where’s Chaeng, by the way?”

“Still sleeping.”

Nayeon nods. Guess she’ll have to wait later. “Okay.” 

Once they’re inside their room, Nayeon drags Mina to the queen-sized bed. Mina lets out a startled gasp when she’s pushed down on the mattress. “I thought we were watching a movie?” she asks but Nayeon kicks off her shoes and crawls in next to her. 

“We are,” she says, dropping her head on the pillow, “but not now. I’m kind of tired too.” 

“The flight got to you, huh?”

Nayeon lets out a short noise of agreement, already closing her eyes. She can hear Mina taking off her own shoes and getting comfortable It’s quiet and peaceful. The room smells like the shampoo they used earlier. She feels Mina press a quick kiss on her forehead before she settles in next to her. 

“Good night, Nayeonnie,” the younger girl whispers. 

Nayeon reaches for her hands and holds them close. “Good night, Mina-yah.”

She thinks about the ring, hidden a few feet away from them, and wonders if there’s ever a perfect time to ask someone to marry you. She’ll find out soon enough.

…

(Mina feels Nayeon slip out of the bed a few hours later. “Hmm, Nayeon?” she asks. 

Her girlfriend nearly trips on an imaginary chair and curses under her breath. “Yeah, babe?” 

“Where are you going?” The bed is _so _comfortable but Mina sits up anyway. Sleeping without Nayeon isn’t something she wants to do right now. She rubs the sleep from her eyes only to find Nayeon crouched on the floor by the bed, hiding something behind her back. 

“I dropped my phone,” Nayeon explains sheepishly.

“But your phone is right here.” Mina taps the said device still lying on the pillow. 

Nayeon mutters ‘_fuck_’ and sits up. It’s too dark to see what she does exactly but she crawls back to the bed and kisses Mina soundly. “It’s nothing, okay?” she says, cupping her cheek and running a thumb over her skin, “I just need to talk to Chaeng about something. I’ll be back soon.” 

Mina groans, dropping her head back on the pillow. “Fine,” she mutters, “I miss you already.”

“And people think _I’m _the clingy one?”

“We both are.”

There’s a moment of silence—a moment where Nayeon just stares at her. She looks like she wants to say something but changes her mind halfway through. It’s okay. They have plenty of time, anyway. Mina’s eyes flutter shut when she feels Nayeon slipping away again. Before, it would’ve scared her. When they started dating for real, a part of her constantly wondered if Nayeon would be the one leaving her behind. But now, she knows those fears are purely imaginary. Because every time Nayeon goes somewhere, she’s always quick to come back.)

…

**Eunwoo’s Grandma ** **👵** ** (3:46 PM)**

[_You have five missed calls_]

**Eunwoo’s Grandma ** **👵** ** (3:46 PM)**

Chaeng!! Wake up!!! I need to talk to u ok??

**Eunwoo’s Grandma ** **👵** ** (3:48 PM)**

CHAEYOUNGIEEEEEE!!!

**Eunwoo’s Grandma ** **👵** ** (3:57 PM)**

[_You have eight missed calls_]

**Mufasa 🦁🦁🦁 (3:59 PM)**

Oh my god??? Im going to kill you?? Let me sleep??

**Eunwoo’s Grandma ** **👵** ** (4:00 PM)**

Ive been pacing back and forth outside ur hotel room

**Eunwoo’s Grandma ** **👵** ** (4:00 PM)**

Its really really important

**Mufasa 🦁🦁🦁 (4:01 PM)**

Cant it wait until dinner time? 😑😑

**Mufasa 🦁🦁🦁 (4:01 PM)**

[_Ben Affleck smoking on a balcony meme_.jpg]

**Eunwoo’s Grandma ** **👵** ** (4:02 PM)**

Im going to ask mina to marry me

The door swings open suddenly and Chaeyoung comes stumbling out, looking windswept and shell-shocked. Nayeon grins brightly at her, pocketing her phone. “I see that caught your attention,” she says.

“You’re going to ask Mina to ma—” The rest of Chaeyoung’s sentence is drowned out with Nayeon slapping her shoulder _hard_. “Ow! Okay! It’s a secret, I get it. Am I the only one who knows? What about Jeong and Jihyo—?” 

“I haven’t told them yet,” Nayeon explains, “I needed to talk to you first since you’re the one with the successful marriage here.” 

Chaeyoung is so touched her eyes practically fill with tears. “Oh wow,” she says, clutching her heart, “Unnie, I’m honored that you told me first…” 

Nayeon rolls her eyes, even though she can’t help but want to cry a bit as well. Because it’s _real_—it’s actually happening. There’s an engagement ring in her pocket and Mina is waiting for her to come back to their hotel room. Three years ago, she wouldn’t have expected to love someone as much as she loved Jennie. But then Mina came into her life—the one person she didn’t expect to chip down her walls and show her that she deserves to be loved—and she’s never been so grateful. 

“Do you mind if we talk?” Nayeon asks, glancing at her hotel room, “I need some advice.”

Chaeyoung nods seriously. “Let’s go downstairs.”

The two of them head to the elevator with Chaeyoung whistling a note and Nayeon keeping her grip on the box in her pocket. They don’t talk at first. Nayeon doesn’t know where to start, really. It’s an important step in her life, after all. 

“What took you so long?” Chaeyoung finally asks once the elevator doors slide open to reveal the lobby of the hotel.

Nayeon scoffs. “I’m not the type to rush into commitments,” she says.

“But you’re pushing thirty—”

The older girl shoots Chaeyoung a death glare. “Careful,” she warns, “unless you want me to tell your wife that you accidentally dropped Eunwoo one time while she was out visiting her parents.”

Chaeyoung’s eyes widen in fear. “_You wouldn’t_!”

“Don’t mention my age, then.” 

“Okay, okay!” 

Nayeon leads them to an outdoor garden where a few guests are basking in the afternoon sunlight and drinking tea under the shade of umbrellas. The view overlooks the ocean, even though it’s at a formidable distance away, and she can catch the faint scent of the sea permeating the air. A beautiful arrangement of flora takes up the whole space and the flowery aroma overwhelms their senses. They take a seat at the edge of the garden, away from the guests. It doesn’t matter, anyway. It’s not like everybody can speak Korean. Still, Nayeon is determined to keep this engagement a surprise for Mina.

“Can I see the ring?” Chaeyoung asks excitedly. 

Nayeon takes it out from her pocket and shows it to her friend. The younger girl’s dimpled smile deepens as she opens the box. The diamond ring greets her from inside. “Damn, this must’ve cost you a lot…”

“Don’t remind me,” Nayeon says, wincing, “It’s worth it, though. Mina deserves only the best.” 

“While I do appreciate being your only confidant in these dire times,” Chaeyoung begins, handing the box back to her, “I don’t see how I can be of help here. Do you need tips? You know how I asked Tzuyu to marry me. It was a heat of the moment thing. I didn’t even have a ring ready.”

Nayeon nods, playing with the box in her hands. “I know,” she says, “but were you ever scared?” 

Chaeyoung frowns. “Scared?” 

“Scared that it could go wrong,” Nayeon quietly says. 

“Why would I be scared?”

“Because…” Here it is. The moment of truth. The reason why Nayeon’s been holding off the proposal, other than wanting to have the perfect stage. Because deep down inside, despite how the past three years have made her the happiest girl in the entire world, it still isn’t enough to let go of some past insecurities. There is still a distant voice in the back of her head, whispering that she’ll never be good enough for Mina and lately, she’s been wondering if it’s true. 

Chaeyoung reaches out and holds her hand. “Why are you scared, unnie?”

It’s all the encouragement she needs. 

“Because I could fuck up,” she says, “I’m scared that I could fuck up again. Like what if I say something in the heat of the moment? What if I hurt her again? What if I give her more reason to leave?” 

Mina has done her best in silencing Nayeon’s worries and insecurities but it’d been a rough ride for both of them. Sometimes, they get into arguments that leaves Nayeon’s throat hoarse and Mina’s eyes red with tears. But most of the time, they’re happy. Nayeon likes to believe that Mina shares in her sentiments—that the good can definitely outweigh the bad. She likes to think that despite her imperfections, Mina would still want to spend the rest of their lives together. 

She likes to think Mina also wants a life with her in it. 

“You’re not scared of her saying no?” Chaeyoung asks, catching her attention. 

Nayeon smiles and shakes her head. “I’m not sure,” she says, “I think I’m more scared she’ll regret saying yes.” 

“Ah.” Chaeyoung leans back in her chair, grinning at her. “So you came to _me _for relationship advice?” 

“Chaeng, you got a girl to say yes to you after six months.”

“They don’t call DubChaeng women magnets for no reason.”

Nayeon groans, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “I’m telling Tzuyu that you still say that,” she says, “Anyway, before you get up in my ass—I’m here to ask for _marriage _advice.”

Chaeyoung makes an interested noise at the back of her throat. “I see.” She leans forward, claps her hands together and spreads them in an ominous manner. “What do you want to know?”

Nayeon thinks about it, tilting her head to the side and pursing her lips. “You and Tzuyu have been together for more than three years,” she points out, “and there wasn’t a single moment where you guys just wanted to give up, pack up your things and leave each other behind?”

Chaeyoung winces. “I keep forgetting you and Mina started on the wrong foot,” she mutters, rubbing her neck, “Anyway, I’m not saying Tzuyu and I have the perfect relationship—which we clearly _do_, of course—but yeah, we have bad moments too. I remember the time I turned down a job offer that would have improved my entire career because it meant I’d have to work in Europe and Tzuyu was _furious _when she found out. She thought that I should’ve consulted her about it before turning down the job. It’s still one of our biggest fights. Imagine your pregnant wife screaming at you.” At this last part, Chaeyoung shudders. 

Nayeon nods, listening intently. “You didn’t want to be away from her,” she murmurs.

“Of course not,” Chaeyoung agrees, crossing her arms, “She was five months pregnant. I couldn’t leave her behind. Do I regret not taking the job? Maybe. But do I hold it against her? No way.” She looks at Nayeon then, an unreadable expression on her face. “That’s what makes marriages work, unnie,” she adds, “You let go of the past and you _forgive _each other.” 

Nayeon thinks about the day Mina forgave her—_I don’t want you to keep looking back at the past_. She thinks about praying in front of that shrine, of Mina making her the usual cup of coffee, of the kiss they shared and the little confessions in between. _I love you too. I never stopped_. Remembering it now gives her mixed emotions. She despises herself for letting it get so far, for hurting Mina when she could’ve just been brave all along and for being such a coward about her true feelings. But she’s happy that Mina found it in her to forgive her, even after everything they’ve been through.

“The future is scary sometimes,” Nayeon muses, leaning back in her seat and hiding the velvet box once again, “I can’t even believe Sana and Jihyo are getting married in a few days.”

“And then you’re going to propose to your girlfriend,” Chaeyoung says, smiling, “Soon, Jeong will work up the courage to do the same with Momo. Dahyun’s an idiot but she’ll probably catch Gahyeon dropping hints at her already. Look at us, unnie—_look at us_.”

“I’m looking, bitch.” 

Chaeyoung laughs. “God, I love memes." She pauses for a while, some weight in her stare, and Nayeon feels like she's being analyzed. "You and Mina are going to be very happy," she says, "I can feel it in my bones." 

"You always say that before every bad decision you make," Nayeon grumbles, even though the words make her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

Chaeyoung shrugs. "This is different." 

"How?" 

"I'm not the one making the decision here." 

Nayeon stills, her heart dropping. "I'm really scared, Chaeyoung-ah," she confesses, squeezing her eyes shut and clenching her fist, "I'm scared to fuck it up." 

"Unnie," Chaeyoung begins and her eyes soften, "the last time you fucked up was three years ago and Mina forgave you for that."

"I know," Nayeon responds, "but marriage—this is something that I _can't _fuck up. Otherwise, I'll lose Mina forever." 

“Nayeon,” Chaeyoung starts again, growing serious, “Before, you kept worrying about the past. Now isn’t the time to worry about the future too. It hasn’t even happened yet. You’re like—what’s that metaphor again? Worrying about your crops before they’re even planted? Something like that.”

Nayeon snorts. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“The _point _is,” the younger girl continues, “you keep worrying about messing things up when you haven’t even done anything yet.”

“Isn’t that what I always do?”

Chaeyoung grimaces. “Not anymore,” she says, “You’ve grown past that now. Everybody knows that.”

“You’re like five years younger than me and you’re telling _me _that I’ve grown?” Nayeon shakes her head, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “I really _am _desperate to come to you for advice.”

“There’s literally one thing you need to know about marriage,” Chaeyoung declares, eyes lighting up, “Happy wife equals happy life.” 

…

(When Mina wakes up later that evening, she finds Nayeon already watching Netflix on TV. A bunch of assorted snacks sit on the foot of the bed like chocolates, chips, cookies and other C-related food. She rises from the bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and asks, "Shouldn't we have dinner first?" 

"I ordered some Chinese," Nayeon says, not even looking at her as she watches the latest episode of _The Legacies._

"How long have I been asleep?" 

"Overall? Five hours."

Mina hides a yawn from behind her hand, remembering something. "How was your talk with Chaeng?" 

Nayeon shrugs, shooting her girlfriend a look over her shoulder. "It went well." 

"What did you guys talk about?" Mina scoots closer to where Nayeon is sitting at the edge of the bed, wrapping her arms around the older girl's shoulders and pressing a soft kiss to the side of her hair. 

"Just maid-of-honor duties," Nayeon responds, turning her head for a proper kiss, "Hi." 

"Hey yourself." 

Nayeon redirects her attention back to the TV, browsing through other selections of movies and shows. "Is there anything you want to watch?" 

Mina hums, melting against her side. "It has _Phantom of The Opera_, right?" 

Nayeon groans, dropping the hand holding the remote. "We've watched that movie a hundred times…" 

Mina pouts, doing her best to puff out her cheeks, and Nayeon closes her eyes from such a sight. "Please, Nayeon?" the younger girl says, as she has done so many times before, "You know it's my favorite." 

"It's basically 80% singing and 20% plot," Nayeon points out for the hundredth time but Mina just smiles, fluttering her eyelashes. "I swear to God I have the whole thing memorized already.”

“_Say you love me every waking moment_,” Mina sings quietly, her eyes fixed on the smile Nayeon is wearing, “_Turn my head with talk of summertime…_”

“_Say you need me_ _with you_,” Nayeon continues, leaning forward until their foreheads are pressed against each other’s, “_now and always_.”

Mina always loves hearing Nayeon sing. Her voice is stable and strong, able to reach high notes Mina would struggle over. It’s too bad she didn’t pursue an idol career. Perhaps in another life, then. She can imagine Nayeon owning up to her claim that she _is _South Korea’s Hot Girl. 

“_Promise me that all you say is true_,” Mina whispers, their mouths a breath apart. 

“_That’s all I ask of you_,” Nayeon finishes as she closes the small distance between them. The kiss they share is chaste and sweet. Just a gentle press of their lips for a few short seconds. It still takes their breaths away. When Nayeon pulls back, her pupils are dilated and her cheeks are flushed. “Mina-yah…” 

It sounds like she has something very important to say so Mina tilts her head to the side, right hand coming up to cup around the back of her girlfriend’s neck, thumb rubbing soothing circles on her skin. “Hmm?”

“I… have something to ask.”

“What is it?”

Nayeon closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Will you uhm…”

“Will I what?” 

Before Nayeon can finish her sentence, her phone starts to ring. Sighing dramatically, she turns her face from Mina's and checks her device. Mina watches her carefully, trying to gauge her expression. It feels like there really _is _something important right on the tip of Nayeon's tongue. She continues to watch as her girlfriend picks up a call coming from Jihyo, mumbling something about brides always getting what they want before her expression goes soft. 

"Hey, Jihyo," she greets, "I'm with Mina right now. Yeah? Of course. Wait, I'll ask." 

She turns to Mina then, raising an eyebrow, as she asks, "Jihyo and Sana want to invite us for lunch tomorrow before the party. Are you in?" 

Despite the fact that Nayeon knows Mina will always say yes to her, Mina's heart still flutters everytime her girlfriend asks her opinion on something. It's a simple gesture but a thoughtful one nonetheless. It makes her feel loved and cherished. Only Nayeon has that effect on her. 

"Yes," she says, gummy smile in place, "It's always a yes." 

Silence. The look Nayeon gives her speaks a thousand words. For the first time, Mina doesn't know that she doesn't understand what it means.)

…

_I love you, _Nayeon thinks, her heart full, _please say yes and please don't regret it. _

…

("Nayeon, what were you going to say before Jihyo called?"

"_Oh_. Right. It was uh—"

Shifting eyes, fidgety hands. Mina reaches out to steady them. "Hmm?" she asks.

"Nothing, it wasn't really important, anyway.")

...


	9. you look perfect tonight pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Where Mina doesn't have any reason to be worried, right?)

The next day, they finally meet up with Sana and Jihyo at a local restaurant near the hotel they booked. All of them are invited, including Eunwoo and Gahyeon. Nayeon and Mina arrive early, spotting Sana and Jihyo at the veranda, waiting for the others to show up. Before they walk in, Nayeon points at the lovestruck look on Jihyo's face as she listens to Sana ramble about something, and mutters, "_Whipped_" under her breath. Mina rolls her eyes and tells her she has that same look pinned down. 

"Hey," Nayeon greets, calling the couple's attention, "Did you miss us?" 

At once, Sana squeals and rises to her feet. She hugs Nayeon tightly, her embrace so suffocating all the breath is knocked out from the older girl's lungs. But then Sana quickly lets go and turns to wrap Mina up in her arms, swinging her around so wildly Nayeon starts to worry. But Mina laughs, eyes crinkling around the corners, as she returns the gesture. "It's so good to see you guys again!" Sana gushes, "It's been too long!" 

"I know, Satang," Mina says, "You dyed your hair?" 

Sana gestures to her light brown hair, smirking broadly. "Do you like it?" 

"It suits you." 

Nayeon turns to look at Jihyo who is smiling at her, clearly waiting to be acknowledged. "Hi, unnie," she says, "Did you miss _me_?" 

"Shut up and get over here," is all Nayeon says before she opens her arms and engulfs Jihyo in a hug. The younger girl hugs her back just as tightly. The two of them relax, their presence comforting one another. Nayeon wants to say so many things but she knows they have time so she settles for, "Now it's _your_ turn to get married, huh?" 

Jihyo chuckles, patting her back. "Is that so hard to believe?" she asks, pulling back with narrowed eyes, "Did you think you were going to get married first?" 

Nayeon can’t help but wonder if this is the universe’s way of telling her to suck it up and just pop the question to her girlfriend already. Is it so clearly written in her face that she wants Mina to be her wife? Does she exude vibes of wanting to settle down, to have what Sana and Jihyo have right now? To be completely and utterly devoted to one person only? If so, then she needs to work fast if she wants Mina to be surprised. Her mind zooms past several scenarios—when is the perfect time to ask? Before the wedding? What about right now? Maybe after lunch? Should she do it spontaneously or in the comforts of their hotel room—

Jihyo snaps her fingers in front of her face, frowning. “Earth to Nayeon?”

Nayeon blinks, having been lost in thought. “Yeah?”

“You kind of spaced out there.”

“I was thinking of something.”

Jihyo raises an eyebrow, a gentle smile on her face. “Were you thinking about getting hitched too?” 

Nayeon scoffs, the question making her heart race. She thinks of what she told Chaeyoung yesterday—of being so afraid to fuck up an entire marriage with Mina. A part of her wonders if this is how Jihyo is feeling right now, if she shares the same worries and misgivings about settling down, if there’s a voice in the back of her head telling her that one day, Sana might leave her too. She wants to ask—she knows Jihyo can keep a secret. But before she can open her mouth to ask if they can talk later, Dahyun’s voice calls out to them from behind:

“Hey, unnies! The life of the party has finally arrived!” 

Nayeon turns and sees the rest of their friends entering the small, secluded spot reserved just for them. Dahyun and Gahyeon are in front, hands clasped together, as they take turns hugging Sana. Jeongyeon has a beach hat on with sunglasses perched on top of her nose. Hanging off her arm is Momo, squealing excitedly as she takes pictures with her new camera. Behind them is Chaeyoung, wearing a backpack presumably filled with baby supplies, and Tzuyu holding her baby close to her chest. They look well-rested, as compared to yesterday, which means Eunwoo must’ve behaved last night. 

“Sorry we’re late—I was dreading seeing Thomas The Engine over there,” Jeongyeon says, side hugging Sana and giving Jihyo the stink-eye. In return, the latter sticks her tongue out at her. A beat passes before Nayeon rolls her eyes and shoves her two best friends together. 

“Don’t be a tsundere,” she says, walking up to Mina and putting her hand on her shoulder. Mina leans into her touch, a smile on her face.

“Look at you learning Japanese words,” Momo teases, winking. 

Jeongyeon and Jihyo dramatically sigh before hugging each other. It’s obvious they’re only joking around because the scowl on Jeongyeon’s face quickly morphs into a bright grin. Momo snaps a picture, cooing about the two friends finally being reunited after so long. 

Sana turns to Tzuyu, staring at Eunwoo who looks dazed at his new surroundings. “Can I hold him?” She asks. 

Tzuyu winces. “No offence, unnie, but I’d rather not.”

“I am perfectly capable of holding a baby and not dropping him afterwards!” 

“_Please_—you and Momo are the clumsiest people we know,” Chaeyoung pipes up, pinching her son’s cheek, “We had to ask Jeong to keep an eye out on her yesterday.”

Dahyun turns to them, raising a finger. “Actually, bro, Mina—”

Thankfully, Jeongyeon, who is standing next to the blonde, reaches out and slaps a hand across her mouth, stopping her from spilling the fact that Mina _did_ hand off Eunwoo to Momo yesterday. Gahyeon chokes out a laugh at the sight of her girlfriend being nearly thrown back by the sheer force of the slap. Nayeon hurries to their side of the room, coming to stand behind Dahyun, and squeezing her shoulders so tight its borderline painful. Tzuyu is now staring at them suspiciously. 

“Mina what?” The mother asks, eyes narrowed.

“Mina wanted to give Eunwoo to Momo,” Nayeon explains, winking at her girlfriend who is now covering her face in shame, “but thankfully, Jeongyeon stopped her! Everything is all good, don’t worry.”

It’s not like Tzuyu will _actually _kill Jeongyeon and Mina for disregarding her wishes but a mother under stress can be a terrifying thing. Nayeon doesn’t want to push any of her buttons. Ever since Eunwoo was born, Tzuyu’s been overprotective of him, after all. Chaeyoung is more laid-back but Nayeon still receives texts every now and then of the younger girl asking if Eunwoo’s _really _going to grow up and hate strawberries. Forget about the inevitable teenage rebellion phase or any unresolved mommy issues her son might grow to have—the one thing Chaeyoung worries about is if her kid will hate strawberries…

Priorities, she guesses.

“If you say so,” Tzuyu finally says after a beat. 

“We should all settle down,” Jihyo suggests after listening to Momo ramble about the camera she bought just for this trip, “and catch up over some food—I’m starving.”

Lunch is chaotic, especially when all nine of them are together. They’re sitting close to the beach so Mina’s gaze is often fixed on the waves crashing against the shore and Nayeon has to tap her on the knee several times to catch her attention. Out of all the girls, Gahyeon is the only person in the room who seems _normal_. Well, as normal as you can be when you’re dating Kim Dahyun. She mostly listens to the conversation flowing between the closely-knit friends but doesn’t let herself stay out of the loop, telling her own experiences and sharing anecdotes as well. 

On the other hand, the others are…_wilder _in comparison. The table they’ve reserved is a long one, which means all the couples are sitting next to each other and facing another pair of lovebirds. Nayeon and Mina find themselves across Jeongyeon and Momo who have apparently decided that this would be the perfect time to make faces at them. Nayeon tries her best to defeat her competition but Mina just shakes her head at them, unamused. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu are seated across Sana and Jihyo, who can’t stop cooing at Eunwoo (looking absolutely _adorable _in his high chair) and practically begging Tzuyu to let them hold him _once_. Lastly, Dahyun and Gahyeon are next to the parents with the blonde unable to physically stop herself from talking to Chaeyoung about all the things they’ve missed out on each other’s lives. Gahyeon listens attentively, wry smile on her face. It’s not a secret that DubChaeng are the best of friends but Nayeon can’t help but be amazed at the level of patience Gahyeon has for her girlfriend. 

Halfway through lunch, Nayeon senses Mina staring at her. 

“Hey,” she says, raising an eyebrow, “Is there something on my face?” 

“No,” Mina answers as she reaches under the table to hold her hand, “I was just thinking.” 

“About what?” 

“How it feels nice to be together again,” the younger girl says, glancing around the table, “I’ve missed the girls.” 

It _does _feel nice, Nayeon admits. She looks at their friends, watching all of their interactions—Momo teaching an attentive Sana how to work the camera, Jeongyeon discreetly tapping Jihyo on the shoulder who sighs impatiently each time, Tzuyu listening to Gahyeon as they discuss their work, Chaeyoung and Dahyun making goofy faces at Eunwoo—and her heart soars. She can’t imagine all the years in which they didn’t know each other because it feels like they’ve known each other their entire lives. 

Nayeon looks at Chaeyoung and Tzuyu closely. If it hadn’t been for them, their two groups wouldn’t have crossed paths. She thinks the Universe played a hand in getting them to bump across each other that fateful day in Seoul. If it hadn’t been for them getting married in the first place, Nayeon wouldn’t have asked Mina to fake date her, Sana and Jihyo wouldn’t have met, Jeongyeon wouldn’t have kissed Momo during that spin the bottle game, Dahyun and Gahyeon wouldn’t have caught the bouquets. She stares at their small but happy family—Tzuyu’s hand intertwined with Chaeyoung’s as the shorter girl holds Eunwoo in her arms—and can’t help but wishes she had the same thing.

In a way, Nayeon has to thank Chaeyoung for proposing to Tzuyu just after six months of dating.

_Soon_, she thinks to herself, pressing a quick kiss on Mina’s cheek, _we’ll start our own family. _Mina shyly smiles at her, eyes crinkled around the corners. Nayeon thinks of the velvet box back in the hotel room and knows that the time is near.

…

(“We’ll see you at the party later,” Jihyo tells all of them as they leave the restaurant, “We’ve invited our workmates and college friends but we wanted to see you guys beforehand—hence, this lunch date.”

“Nah, you just missed us,” Jeongyeon points out, “It’s not too cheesy if you say it straight to my face, Hyo.”

Jihyo turns to Sana with a pained expression. “Can I un-invite her to our wedding?”

“Nope,” Sana answers. 

Sighing, Jihyo flips Jeongyeon the bird. 

Mina looks at their friends, smiling as they all hug each other goodbye for the time being. Jeongyeon and Momo mentioned wanting to revisit the places they went to yesterday, especially since they’re bringing their camera already. Sana and Jihyo have to go back to the venue to make sure things are all set for the party later—they didn’t believe in letting somebody else plan their wedding so they’re their own wedding planners. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu are going back to the hotel, hoping to get some rest again. Dahyun and Gahyeon are going with them.

Mina’s itinerary didn’t really prepare her for the free time they’d have during the wedding. She’s trying to think of ways to pass the time until the party later that night when she feels Nayeon’s hand on the small of her back, guiding her away from the group. She turns to her girlfriend, eyebrows raised, and sees Nayeon’s teeth bared in a dangerous smile.

“Let’s go to the beach,” she says, pointing to the shore, “It’s only a few meters away.”

“Now?”

“Why not?”

Mina looks at the sky. Thankfully, the sun is obscured by clouds so they won’t get a heatstroke if they take a walk on this lovely day. Doesn’t really matter, anyway, since she brought a small umbrella with her in her purse. Three years of dating Im Nayeon has told her to always bring one, especially since Nayeon is vehemently against umbrellas for some strange reason. 

But somehow, as they begin their trek towards the beach (Nayeon waves her off when she questions if it’s a private one, since there doesn’t seem to be any tourists around), her girlfriend reaches out and holds the umbrella for the two of them. Mina can’t help but smirk. Nayeon only does this when she’s trying to be romantic.

When they get to the shore, Mina sweeps her eyes across the horizon. It’s breathtaking. The water is sparkling, tiny diamonds blinking in and out of sight. When she inhales deeply, she feels every bit of the ocean in her soul. It feels like coming home. It reminds her of fond memories spent at the beach with her family—especially when her parents were always so busy at the hospital. She looks at Nayeon, standing beside her, looking both awed and terrified at the sheer enormity of the waves. 

She's her home now.

“Mind telling me what we’re doing here?” Mina asks, waiting for Nayeon to look at her and seeing the sea reflected in her eyes.)

…

_This _could've been the perfect moment. 

Nayeon regrets not bringing the ring with her. Her hand feels awfully empty as she holds the umbrella above their heads, making sure to keep Mina under its shade, despite the sunlight hitting her shoulder in the process. Mina is watching her, a small smile on her face, and the words are already at the tip of her tongue—

_Will you marry me?_

Instead, she shares in her girlfriend's smile and looks back at the water. "Everytime I see the ocean, I think of you," she says.

Mina continues to stare, waiting for her to continue. Nayeon intertwines their fingers together. Her hand is warm, fits into hers perfectly. "I remember the first time we stood in front of the ocean," she pushes on, her lips quirking at the memory, "and what I told you that night." 

"The person you think of when you're standing in front of the ocean," Mina echoes, her voice matching the low crash of the waves against the shore, "That's the person you're in love with." 

Nayeon meets her gaze again. "It's been three years," she whispers, "and not a day goes by where I don't think of you."

When they kiss, Nayeon can taste the unspoken question in the air, one that Mina doesn't know of yet. _Will you marry me? _She just hopes she can find the courage to say it out loud. 

**YUMMY ** **😎** ** (5:03 PM)**

You. Me. Open bar tonight.

**Bane of my Existence ** **💁** **♀️ (5:06 PM)**

Do u worry about my liver AT ALL? 

**YUMMY ** **😎** ** (5:07 PM)**

Course not! Thats why we’re gonna get black out drunk later 🥳

**Bane of my Existence ** **💁** **♀️ (5:09 PM)**

Whats the occasion u asshole

**YUMMY ** **😎** ** (5:10 PM)**

I’ll tell u later so dont ditch me for mina. We havent hung out in a long time.

**Bane of my Existence ** **💁** **♀️ (5:12 PM)**

This better be fucking good jeong!!!

**YUMMY ** **😎** ** (5:10 PM)**

U are going to choke when u hear about it lol

**Bane of my Existence ** **💁** **♀️ (5:14 PM)**

I better! Otherwise im just wasting my time here 💅💅

…

**Eunwoo's Grandma ** **👵** ** (5:39 PM)**

CHAENG

**Mufasa 🦁🦁🦁 (5:41 PM)**

WHAT

**Eunwoo's Grandma ** **👵** ** (5:43 PM)**

Look i need ur help later 

**Eunwoo's Grandma ** **👵** ** (5:44 PM)**

I need u to look out for me later during the party lol 

**Eunwoo's Grandma ** **👵** ** (5:44 PM)**

I intend to get black out drunk with jeong tonight and im scared that i might spill the whole proposal to mina while i'm not in the right headspace

**Eunwoo's Grandma ** **👵** ** (5:46 PM)**

So yeah

**Mufasa 🦁🦁🦁 (5:48 PM)**

👁👄👁

**Mufasa 🦁🦁🦁 (5:48 PM)**

i have an even better idea

**Mufasa 🦁🦁🦁 (5:50 PM)**

how about u DONT get black out drunk tonight???

**Eunwoo's Grandma ** **👵** ** (5:51 PM)**

Im jared, 19

…

**My Bro, My World ** **🌎** ** (6:02 PM)**

yo bro

**Eunwoo’s Godmother ** **😇** ** (6:04 PM)**

Wassup my bro?

**My Bro, My World ** **🌎** ** (6:05 PM)**

we are on unnie duty tonight 🤙

**Eunwoo’s Godmother ** **😇** ** (6:06 PM)**

Ok 👌 which ones tho

**My Bro, My World ** **🌎** ** (6:07 PM)**

I look after nayeon, u look after mina ✊✊

**My Bro, My World ** **🌎** ** (6:09 PM)**

Its really important we keep them apart bc nayeon is planning to get drunk AGAIN

**Eunwoo’s Godmother ** **😇** ** (6:11 PM)**

Oh typical nayeon

**Eunwoo’s Godmother ** **😇** ** (6:12 PM)**

But why tho?? 👀

**My Bro, My World ** **🌎** ** (6:13 PM)**

sorry my bro not my secret to tell 

**Eunwoo’s Godmother ** **😇** ** (6:16 PM)**

U just broke the bro code smh 😔

**My Bro, My World ** **🌎** ** (6:14 PM)**

[_Michael Jackson walking away in shame meme._jpg]

…

**Eunwoo’s Lawyer ** **⚖️** ** (7:04 PM)**

Tzuyu just told me to keep an eye on you because Sana hired a bunch of strippers.

**Eunwoo’s Lawyer ** **⚖️** ** (7:06 PM)**

Again.

**Eunwoo’s Lawyer ** **⚖️** ** (7:07 PM)**

You might want to stay away from the dance floor.

**Chaengcasso ** **🎨** ** (7:10 PM)**

does my own wife not trust me???

**Eunwoo’s Lawyer ** **⚖️** ** (7:11 PM)**

Oh, she trusts you.

**Eunwoo’s Lawyer ** **⚖️** ** (7:12 PM)**

It’s the strippers she doesn’t trust.

**Chaengcasso ** **🎨** ** (7:14 PM)**

good to know i guess 😑

**Eunwoo’s Lawyer ** **⚖️** ** (7:15 PM)**

Remember—dance floor: OFF LIMITS FOR YOU.

**Chaengcasso ** **🎨** ** (7:16 PM)**

roger that jihyo-unnie 💪💪💪

**Eunwoo’s Lawyer ** **⚖️** ** (7:17 PM)**

[_suspicious Futurama Fry meme_.jpg]

…

(The party is in full swing by the time they arrive, mostly because Nayeon _insisted _on getting some action in bed before they left. Mina couldn't deny her that—one of her biggest weaknesses, apparently. When they get to the venue, there isn't really a program to follow: Jihyo wanted one but Sana waved her off and said that everybody just wants to get drunk at parties. Mina isn't really a drinker but Nayeon is, so she has to look out for her girlfriend the entire night. 

But for some strange reason, Chaeyoung seems determined to take this job from her. 

"Mina-unnie!" Chaeyoung calls the second they step foot on the beach. A large open bar stands near the shore with torches lighting the path. The gentle crashing of waves can be heard from a short distance away. She can see the rest of the guests partying on the dance floor already. 

"Hi, Chaeyoungie," she greets, eyes searching for her other half, "where's Tzuyu?"

"Oh, she's looking after Eunwoo. Don’t worry, though, Elkie just arrived this afternoon so they’re catching up back at the hotel," Chaeyoung responds before she grabs Nayeon by the wrist and pulls her towards her, "Anyway! Jeongyeon-unnie asked me to grab Nayeon. They're having drinks by the bar, I'll see you later!"

Nayeon manages to wave goodbye to her girlfriend before she’s dragged away. Mina blinks and they’re already gone. She blinks again and sees Dahyun waving her hands in front of her face, grinning broadly. “Hi, Mina-unnie!” she greets, dragging her to a table where Gahyeon and Sana are, “You can join us here!” 

Sana and Gahyeon are talking about the ring Jihyo gave for her engagement—the diamond rock is bigger than anything Mina has ever seen. Perks of dating a big-shot lawyer, after all. Gahyeon is not so subtly dropping hints at Dahyun, who seems completely oblivious to it. 

“If I ever get married, I wouldn’t mind a candy pop ring,” she says, taking a swig of her drink, “As long as it's sincere, I’ll say yes to anything!” 

“I agree,” Sana says, eyes sparkling, “_Any _ring would do. Right, Dubu?”

Dahyun breaks off her conversation with Mina about this book she’s reading and raises her eyebrows at Gahyeon and Sana. “What?” 

Gahyeon sighs, sharing a look with the bride, before she leans forward to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek. “Nothing.”

Mina smirks, shaking her head. The second she starts dropping hints about getting married, she just hopes Nayeon picks up on it. She can’t wait for the day she’ll say yes.)

…

“Okay,” Nayeon begins after her second drink, “What is it that you wanted to tell me?”

"Ah." Jeongyeon grins. "You have to drink more, though, before I tell you."

Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung are sitting with her at a secluded table in the corner of the pavilion. Apparently, Chaeyoung isn’t allowed to go to the dance floor because of all the strippers Sana hired. Therefore, they’re just chilling in the corner with several mixed drinks sitting on top of the table. They can spot Momo and Jihyo dancing to Taemin’s ‘Goodbye’ right in the middle of the area. It actually looks like they’ve danced with each other their entire lives, even though Jeongyeon claimed that this is the first time they’re dancing to the song.

Chaeyoung waves off the shot glass Jeongyeon offers her. "Can't," she says, "I'm on unnie duty." 

"Which one?" 

Nayeon raises her hand like a child answering a question in school. "Me! Me!"

Jeongyeon sighs. "Not surprised," she grumbles, "Nayeon is a pain in the ass when she's drunk." 

"I'm only going to get drunk tonight because _you _asked me to," Nayeon says, throwing back another shot. The alcohol burns through her throat and she gets all warm and fuzzy inside. "Anyway, tell me the occasion already. Did you get promoted? Was Momo scouted by Gucci? The brand, not the dog, by the way. How's your sister? Tell me!" 

Chaeyoung takes a sip of gin because she looks like she needs it. 

Jeongyeon smirks and rummages through her pocket for something. When she pulls it out, Nayeon's mouth drops open in shock. Because her best friend—her stupid, dumb god-awful best friend whom she's known since they were kids—is holding an engagement box in her hand. It takes a few seconds for the sight of it to sink in and when it finally does, Nayeon loses it.

Is Jeongyeon _really _going to propose at the same time as she is—?

_"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" _

…

(Mina looks over her shoulder, frowning. Hmm. That sounded like Nayeon….? She hears Dahyun's phone pinging with several texts all sent at once and hears her mumble "oh dang" under her breath. 

"I think I just heard Nayeon…" she begins, rising halfway from her seat.

"Hey, Mina-unnie!" Dahyun calls, tapping her quickly on the arm, "I added a few quick moves to my eagle dance. Do you wanna see?" 

"Oh?" Mina can't refuse the pout on Dahyun's face so she sits back down again. "Sure, why not?" 

Sana cackles and pulls out her phone, nudging Gahyeon as she does so. "This is going to be another hit on Youtube," the brunette says, wicked smile in place. Gahyeon groans and covers her face in embarrassment. Dating Kim Dahyun has its downsides, after all.)

…

"Crisis averted, crisis averted!" Chaeyoung declares, putting her phone away. Nayeon knows for certain that the younger girl just texted Dahyun to keep Mina out of their table. “Can we all _please _calm down for once? Nayeon-unnie, PUT DOWN THAT BOTTLE!” 

Nayeon doesn’t even realize she’s holding one until Chaeyoung cautiously reaches out and wrenches it away from her grip. Jeongyeon gapes at her from her seat, looking absolutely gobsmacked and still holding the velvet box in her hands. Nayeon's barely drunk but she feels like she can fight a couple hundred people right now. How dare Jeongyeon—? This was supposed to be _her_ wedding to propose to. Sure, she and Jeongyeon have always shared everything—from shirts and homework answers to brain cells—but this is just too much! 

"I can't believe you!" she tells her best friend, slapping her on the arm for good measure, "You good-for-nothing copycat!" 

"_Copy_—?" The way Jeongyeon's mouth forms an 'o' would've been comical but Nayeon doesn't feel like laughing right now. "You're proposing too? Jesus, what is up with you? I thought of this first!" 

"How cliche of you," Nayeon spits, scoffing, as Chaeyoung signals to Momo and Jihyo (who look seconds away from breaking up their argument) that '_we are okay, just unnies being unnies!' _

"What's so cliche about this?" 

"Proposing to your girlfriend at someone else's wedding!"

"_You're doing the same thing!_"

Nayeon throws her hands up in the air, sighing loudly. "Well, not anymore! You've totally ruined my plans now!"

"Sheesh—I've been wanting to propose ever since Sana and Jihyo dropped their wedding invitations," Jeongyeon says, almost accusingly, as she shifts the box from one hand to the other. 

"So have I!" 

The two of them glare at each other with Chaeyoung glancing back and forth between them. Then, after a moment, they both burst out laughing—Nayeon with her typical loud laugh and Jeongyeon sounding like she can't breathe. The situation is too comical not to be giddy about. Isn't it strange you can find someone who thinks so much like you that even proposals are shared? Nayeon wipes away the tears from her eyes, grinning broadly, as Jeongyeon calms down. 

"Fucking hell, Nabongs," she grumbles, "If you weren't my best friend, I would curb stomp you for trying to steal my thunder."

"I would do the same with you," Nayeon says. After a moment, she gestures to the box in Jeong's hand. "Can I see?" 

Jeongyeon passes her the box while Chaeyoung acts as a look-out for Momo. The younger girl seems relieved the fight didn't escalate any higher and now she's happily taking shots, even though she is still technically on unnie duty, after all. Nayeon glances over her shoulder, sees Momo and Jihyo now dancing to Taemin's 'Move' and opens the box.

The ring holds a sparkling diamond stone with sophisticated engravings around the band. Not as simple as the one Nayeon got but still elegant nonetheless. It fits Momo perfectly. 

"Wow," Chaeyoung says, eyes fixed on the ring as well, "You guys are really serious, huh?" 

"Course we are, NoJam bro," Jeongyeon says, smirking, "We plan our shit—we don't just blurt out proposals without a ring." 

"Okay, shut up, I bought Tzuyu a ring the next day." 

"I'm glad that proposing after six months worked out for both of you," Nayeon comments, handing Jeongyeon the box who puts it back in her pocket, out of view from her girlfriend currently dancing with the bride. 

Chaeyoung shrugs, proud smile on her face. "DubChaeng are women magnets," she says and the two unnies groan, "Okay. Don't tell Tzuyu I said that." 

Jeongyeon opens a bottle of tequila, smirking. "So, this is it, huh?" she remarks, "Us _finally _settling down." 

Nayeon watches her pour the drink into her glass. "Fuck," she mumbles, “this is really it.” 

Jeongyeon looks over Nayeon’s shoulder to watch Momo dancing with Jihyo. “I didn’t think I’d get this far,” she comments, shrugging, “I always assumed Momo would get tired of me eventually. I’m rarely home because of my job and when I am, all we do is watch movies and order take-out. But, weirdly enough, she hasn’t given up on me yet.” 

Nayeon and Chaeyoung take a sip of their drinks. “Why would she give up on you, NoJam bro?” the latter asks, reaching out and squeezing Jeong's shoulder tight, “You’re pretty amazing to me.”

“_Please_. I know you had a crush on me back in middle school.” 

Chaeyoung’s mouth drops open as her cheeks flare up in embarrassment. “_Who the hell told you that?_” She slaps Jeongyeon on the arm and shoots Nayeon a glare, who raises her hands in surrender and shakes her head vehemently. It was probably Jihyo. Because as far as Nayeon was concerned, she just thought Chaeyoung idolised Jeongyeon _too _much when they were kids.

“Nobody had to!” Jeong claims, rubbing at the spot where she was slapped, “It was pretty obvious, okay! That’s why I never said anything because I was hoping you’d grow out of it.”

“Well, thank God I did, because you’re a pretty shitty person for knowing all about it and not telling me!” Chaeyoung reaches for her shot glass again but Nayeon quickly takes it away. 

“Nope! You’re on unnie duty, remember?” The older girl says cheekily, drinking it for Chaeyoung. 

Chaeyoung’s entire face crumples as she curls her hand into a fist and slams it on the tabletop. “Fucking hell.”

Jeongyeon barks out a laugh and wraps an arm around the youngest. “That’s okay, Chaeng,” she says, ruffling her hair, “I’m glad I didn’t tell you, because look at you now—you’ve got a hot ex-model for a wife! You’re a mom! You’re going to be the maid-of-honor at my wedding!” 

Nayeon chokes out a “_Excuse me_?” while Chaeyoung’s eyes light up as she exclaims, _“Really_?” 

Jeongyeon shoots a subtle look into Nayeon’s direction, mouthing, “_Don’t worry about it.” _Then she pours more alcohol into their glasses and raises her own for a toast. “Anyway,” she begins, smiling brightly at her two friends, “here’s to getting hitched!”

Nayeon and Chaeyoung both clink their glasses with Jeongyeon’s and yell, “Cheers!” 

…

(Halfway into the party, Mina finds herself sitting in between Jihyo and Dahyun. Sana, Momo and Gahyeon have disappeared into the crowd, fully intending to dance while they’re drunk. The party only seems to be getting wilder as the night goes on. Mina finds herself searching the guests for a glimpse of Nayeon, only to be disappointed when she doesn’t find her. 

“I keep forgetting that you’re not much of a drinker,” Jihyo says, fingers curled around a glass of vodka. Her cheeks are flushed but she doesn’t seem to be too inebriated. She always knew how to handle her alcohol, a trait which she unfortunately didn’t teach Nayeon in all their years as friends.

Dahyun, on the other hand, isn’t drinking tonight. “I’m on a top secret mission,” was her answer when Mina asked why she wasn’t enjoying herself. She keeps checking her phone for messages from Chaeyoung and Mina knows not to pry. DubChaeng can never spend a single second without communicating.

“You okay there, Mitang?” Jihyo asks, offering her a drink, which Mina declines. 

“I’m fine,” she answers, “Just worried about Nayeon.”

Jihyo smirks, taking another sip of her vodka. “Unnie’s a big girl—she can take care of herself.”

Mina smiles, shaking her head. “It’s not that,” she says, picking at some invisible lint on her jeans, “I’m just—I don’t like it when we’re apart.” 

“God, you two are clingy.” Jihyo pauses, eyes fixed on the dance floor, where they can both see Sana dancing with Momo to Beyonce’s ‘Dance For You’ song. “But I get what you mean—when you’ve been with someone for so long, not being with them feels like…” 

Mina remembers the five months she and Nayeon spent suffering because they weren’t together, even though the only thing they wanted was to be by each other’s sides. “Like something is missing,” she finishes for Jihyo, feeling her heart clench at the memory of nearly losing Nayeon to fear and cowardice. She looks at the bride, smiling softly, and asks, “Is that how it is for you and Sana?”

Jihyo nods. “I can’t imagine a life without her, Minari,” she confesses, “When I met her back at Chaeng and Tzuyu’s wedding, we just _clicked_.” 

Mina nods. “I understand that sentiment.”

Jihyo’s eyes glaze over as she thinks about something Mina can only guess about. “Sana has always seen the best in everybody,” she continues, “It’s part of her personality—she radiates this kind of warmth and happiness that I desperately needed three years ago. Don’t tell any of our friends this, but I was pretty lonely back then. Nayeon and Jeongyeon were in Seoul while Dahyun and Chaeyoung were living together in their shared apartment. I was alone at my place. A part of me didn’t think I was cut out for love.”

Even though the music is so loud, Mina can perfectly understand what Jihyo is saying. “What made you think that?” she asks. She and Jihyo rarely have a moment to themselves—life gets in the way when you’re trying to hold onto people who matter to you—so she gives this conversation her entire attention because she knows she might never get this chance again.

Jihyo smiles. “Because I rarely think about myself,” she explains, “I keep thinking about my career, my friends, my family. I keep putting off what could make me happy because I believed it would be a distraction to my goal. At the end of the day, I don’t even know what my goal is.” 

Mina doesn’t say anything else because she has a feeling Jihyo isn’t finished yet. True to her belief, Jihyo takes another shot of her vodka and squeezes her eyes shut. Then she opens her eyes and lets out a weary sigh. “I had walls up so high people couldn’t break them,” she murmurs, her gaze moving towards her fiancé, who is now laughing at something Momo said, “but then Sana came into my life like a hurricane. All she had to do was smile and everything came crashing down.”

Mina understands. It’s the same with Nayeon. She remembers their first meeting—how Nayeon had waltzed into the elevator shaft and introduced herself, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Like she didn’t just capture Mina’s heart with a bunny smile and a simple “Hi, my name is Nayeon. I work at Sales.” 

Mina’s learned a lot ever since she met Nayeon. When it comes to love, you needed to be brave. And in order to be brave, you had to be prepared to either win or lose everything. It’s always a gamble. Mina is glad she was dealt a winning hand.

So she reaches out and grips Jihyo’s hand in hers. “I’m happy for you both,” she says, smiling broadly, “You deserve each other.”

Jihyo mirrors her smile. “I’m glad you and Nayeon worked things out too,” she states.

“Look at us revisiting old memories,” Mina remarks, “I guess that’s what a wedding does, huh?”

“Yeah. Do you remember when Sana hired that stripper to Chaeng and Tzuyu’s bachelorette party?” Jihyo shudders as she remembers this. “God—I still can’t forget the look on Tzuyu’s face. It’s like when you stumble across a rabid dog’s territory.” 

Mina winces. “Don’t remind me, I was terrified of her.” 

Jihyo lets out a humourless laugh. “Let’s just hope no strippers find Chaeyoung here,” she says, “Otherwise, Tzuyu is never going to let me hold her kid.”

…

“Please don’t make me go there,” Chaeyoung grumbles as she finds herself being pulled up to her feet by Nayeon towards the dance floor, “If Tzuyu finds out a stripper was a few feet next to me, she’s going to make me sleep on the couch.”

Jeongyeon shakes her shoulders, hooting loudly, “What your wife won’t know won’t hurt her!” and Nayeon screams in agreement. Forgive them—they’re both drunk. They say stupid shit when they’ve been drinking too much.

“That is terrible advice coming from two people planning to propose soon,” Chaeyoung mutters under her breath as she digs her heels onto the floor, fully intent on forsaking her duties of looking out for Nayeon. Unfortunately for her, Nayeon’s large hands grip her arm tight. 

“It’s been so long since we’ve partied, Chaeng!” She whines, tugging her to the mass of bodies pressed close together to the beat of Justin Bieber’s ‘Boyfriend.’ “You’ve always been so busy ever since you got hitched. Consider this our last night together! Look, I see Jihyo and Dahyun and—” _Mina!_

It feels like Nayeon’s been struck by an invisible hand. She spots Mina sitting between Jihyo and Dahyun and she looks _ethereal. _Like a goddess sitting among mortals, no offense to their other friends, of course.

"Mina-yah!" she yells, waving at her girlfriend from the crowd, who turns as if hearing her, "I love you! I love you! I love you! Do you wanna—?”

Chaeyoung suddenly appears by her side and slaps a hand over her mouth. "Nayeon-unnie!" she whisper-yells into her ear, as she drags her further into the crowd of dancing guests, "Calm your tits!" 

"I was just telling her that I love her!" Nayeon manages to say behind Chaeng's fingers. 

"You literally sounded like you were seconds away from proposing in the middle of the dance floor," Chaeyoung grumbles. She glances over her shoulder, possibly looking for any strippers, when Jeongyeon pops up out of nowhere wearing a shit-eating grin. 

"Hey, Nayeon," she says, pressing behind her back due to the amount of people grinding around them, "There's a keg stand by the beach. If you win, you propose first. If I win, I get to do the honors." 

Nayeon narrows her eyes and licks at Chaeyoung's palm to finally be released from her grip. Chaeyoung shrieks, pulling away, before she runs off, yelling about needing disinfectants. Jeongyeon pays her no mind, staring hard at Nayeon and silently challenging her. After a moment, Nayeon smirks and stretches her hand out. "You got yourself a deal, Yoo." 

…

("Is it just me," Mina murmurs, rubbing her temple, "or am I hearing Nayeon's voice in my head all the time?" 

Dahyun laughs. "I think you're just missing your girlfriend too much, Minari."

Mina nods, finally letting herself drink. The party’s in full swing and she’s already developing a headache. But Nayeon is nowhere to be seen and she doesn’t want to leave without her. Besides, it looks like she’s going to be here for a while now. She watches as Sana and Momo _finally _come over from dancing, the former draping herself over her fiance while Momo collapses into Dahyun’s arms. 

“Where’s Gahyeon?” the blonde asks.

Momo mutters something that Mina translates to: “She er... is catching up...with uhhh… Handong.” 

Dahyun sighs and lets Momo fall asleep on her shoulder. “This is not the unnie I’m supposed to be on duty for,” she mutters and Mina raises her eyebrows at her, having heard her muttering. 

“You’re on unnie duty?” she questions and Dahyun’s cheeks flushing red is always a hilarious sight to see, especially because it means she’s been caught in the act. The only problem is, Mina doesn’t really know what act she’s stumbled into. Perhaps Dahyun and Chaeyoung are up to no good again.

You see, Mina learned the term _unnie duty _a few months into her relationship with Nayeon. It was something her group of friends made up. When Nayeon or Jeongyeon needed help in staying in line or keeping their mouths shut (like the time Jeongyeon was invited to her ex’s baby shower), the younger ones were always asked to be on unnie duty. It consisted primarily of Chaeyoung and Dahyun just dragging their unnies away before they got into trouble. 

So, the fact that Dahyun is on unnie duty now...

Mina narrows her eyes at the younger girl. “Wait,” she begins, thinking about how Chaeyoung had dragged Nayeon away the second she showed up and how Dahyun popped out of nowhere to invite her to their table. It doesn’t really take long to figure out that _she's _the one Dahyun is currently on unnie duty for. 

Which means Chaeyoung is looking after Nayeon... _oh_.

“I have to find Nayeon,” Mina announces and Dahyun’s look of panic becomes even more apparent as she tries to push Momo out of her lap. Unfortunately, the older girl is too heavy for her and Mina has already bid goodbye to Sana and Jihyo before she’s slipping into the crowd of people dancing. 

It’s not like Mina’s worried that Nayeon’s going to do something stupid—she knows her girlfriend has more self control than that. But she never liked the thought of Nayeon getting drunk and being left to her own devices. The first time Mina witnessed a drunk Nayeon was the most painful night of her life. _Because I don’t_, Nayeon had told her. She knows now it was a lie.

After they got together, she never held it against the older girl. Nayeon was going through a tough time and she broke Mina’s heart to protect her own. Still, the memory of it always leaves her eyes wet. This is what’s on her mind as she squeezes her way past warm bodies pressed against each other, eyes searching for Nayeon in the crowd.

It’s always been like this—

Mina’s eyes are always following Nayeon.

Her ears are always attuned to Nayeon’s voice.

Her nose always picks up on Nayeon’s sweet perfume.

—ever since Nayeon smiled at her that day in the elevator.

Mina wouldn’t have it any other way.)

…

Nayeon doesn’t feel too good. 

She can feel somebody’s firm hand on her shoulder as she stumbles away from the party and straight to the beach. The water splashes against her ankles and she’s so out of it she doesn’t even feel the slightest bit of anxiety. The cool wind is a relief to feel against her flushed skin, which she desperately needs after she just spent the past two minutes doing that stupid god-awful keg stand. She’s done keg stands before but maybe it _has _been a long time since she drank this much. She feels like shit already. Her body feels so slow and heavy that when she raises her hands to rub at her face, it's like she’s moving at Internet Explorer speed. It feels like there’s a disconnect with her brain and her body and she’s a passenger watching them try and get their shit together. 

“Did I—” Nayeon heaves, feeling so fucking sick that it’s almost like there’s cotton stuffed in her throat, “Please tell me that I beat Jeongyeon.” 

The person behind her rubs at her back comfortingly. Nayeon’s brain is so fuzzy that she immediately thinks of Mina. But it’s clearly Chaeyoung behind her. Chaeng _was _there to make sure they didn’t do anything stupid.

Oh God—it feels like the entire world is spinning. Like she’s on top of one of those toys they had in _Inception _or something. She rubs at her temples, sinking to her knees and letting the water soak her legs. It feels nice. It’s cold. She wishes Mina was here. 

“Chaeng,” she whines, “I think I’m going to be sick.”

Behind her, Chaeyoung laughs. Her presence is comforting, warm even. It reminds her of Mina.

Nayeon puffs out her cheeks in an effort to move her jaw and get some feeling to the rest of her face. “This is why Mina always looks out for me when I’m drunk,” she says, leaning on Chaeyoung, “She makes sure I don’t get _this _drunk. You’re doing a terrible job, Picasso.” 

She hears a hum and the hands rubbing at her back move to massage her shoulders. It’s what Mina would do. Nayeon smiles to herself. Even when they’re apart, she always thinks of her. 

“Thanks for looking for me, though,” Nayeon says, digging her fingers into the sand underneath her legs. She looks up and stares at the ocean’s horizon. The waves look ominous. As a kid, she would’ve felt terrified just sitting so close to the water. But now, she doesn’t. The ocean reminds her of Mina. Inevitable. Encompassing. Overwhelming. They say there was a time the world was only water. She understands the sentiment. 

Because for her, Mina has become her entire world. 

Nayeon feels Chaeyoung take a seat behind her. Her thoughts are hazy. The alcohol in her stomach struggles to hold itself down. With each deep breath she takes, the back of her throat responds negatively. God, she has a strong tolerance when it comes to drinking but sometimes, it gets too much. That keg stand challenge… bad idea. 

She’s going to kill Jeongyeon… _tomorrow_. 

“Chaeng,” she whines again, realizing that her friend hasn’t answered her earlier question, “please tell me I beat Jeong at that keg stand challenge. If she fucking pro—”

“_NAYEON-UNNIE!_” 

Nayeon’s entire brain collapses when she realizes Chaeyoung’s voice sounds like it’s coming from a short distance away. Definitely not the one belonging to the one seated behind her. If it’s possible, she feels even _more _sick. Like instead of sitting on top of a spinning top, _she’s _the spinning top. In an achingly slow motion, she twists her head around and finds Mina smirking at her. 

“Hi,” she greets, looking so breathlessly beautiful under the glow of the moon, “I was wondering when you’d notice.” 

“I—” Nayeon begins and it’s kind of funny how her brain immediately backtracks to remember if she might’ve said anything stupid or revealing. Her heart races so fast it’s almost painful. Like heartburn. She stares at Mina, mouth hanging wide open, before Chaeyoung suddenly pops out of nowhere with a terrified look on her face. 

_Scratch that_—she’s going to kill Chaeyoung first. Unnie duty her ass. 

“Mina-unnie!” Chaeyoung exclaims, laughing nervously, “Where’d you find Nayeon? I was looking everywhere for her.” 

“I was looking for her too,” Mina explains, rising to her feet and helping Nayeon to her own, “I had a feeling that she needed my help.” 

Nayeon snorts, instinctively wrapping her arms around her girlfriend. “My guardian angel,” she murmurs. Deep inside, she’s immensely relieved that Chaeyoung showed up when she did. If she hadn’t, God knows what would’ve happened if she’d accidentally let her own proposal slip out of her tongue. She thinks she would die right there and then. 

“You were literally going to throw up, babe,” Mina tells her fondly, “You puffed out your cheeks and you only do that when you’re trying not to vomit.”

Warmth spread through Nayeon’s chest at the reminder of how well Mina knows her. She’s undeserving of it. “Thanks, babe,” she says, cracking a cheeky grin. 

Chaeyoung gags. “You guys make me sick.”

“Nayeon rolls her eyes and steps forward. “_You _make me si—” The sudden movement makes her lurch forward and hold her stomach. The world spins again. She closes her eyes and heaves. Thankfully, nothing comes out. 

“Okay,” she hears Mina say behind her, “We’re going back to the hotel.”

“I’m fine,” Nayeon mutters, waving her off, “I can stay for a few more rounds.”

“Unnie,” Chaeyoung says exasperatedly, “You literally did a keg stand for like two minutes.”

Nayeon straightens her back and turns to look at Chaeyoung with narrowed eyes. “Two minutes, exact?” she asks, “How long did Jeongyeon do it for?” 

Chaeyoung smirks, gaze never leaving hers. “You lasted two minutes and five seconds,” she said, “and Jeong lasted two minutes and twelve seconds.” 

Silence.

Except for the ocean waves and Nayeon’s unsteady heartbeat. 

Then—

“_YOO JEONGYEON!_” she screams, rushing back into the party with Mina and Chaeyoung hot on her heels. 

…

(An hour later, Nayeon ends up passing out from too much alcohol. Mina doesn’t really know what happened. All she knows is one second, she was chasing after Nayeon with Chaeyoung by her side. And now, she’s holding Nayeon upright, which is difficult, like carrying dead weight.

“Sorry about this,” Chaeyoung says as she helps Mina carry her girlfriend, “I should’ve stopped her from doing that stupid keg stand.”

“It’s not your responsibility to make sure Nayeon doesn’t do something stupid,” Mina answers, leading the way back to her original table, where she left the others at. 

“Tonight, it was.”

“Unnie duty, right?”

Chaeyoung hesitates. “You can say that.” 

Mina purses her lips. “You’re not allowed to tell me, are you?” she asks.

“Yeah.”

“I understand.” Mina’s heart twitches. She wonders why Nayeon asked Chaeyoung to be on unnie duty for her. A persistent voice in the back of her head paints the worst case scenario. As much as she tries to pay it no mind, it’s difficult to ignore. 

“Don’t worry,” Chaeyoung tells her, “It’s nothing bad. She just wanted me to look out for her.”

Mina knows there’s a deeper story to that. Nayeon is normally fine with being left to her own devices when she’s drunk. Her asking Chaeyoung to look out for her means there’s something she’s hiding. Based on past experiences, Mina knows it’s something bad. She just hopes Nayeon finds it in her to tell her soon. 

When they get to the table, Jeongyeon is somehow locked in a staring contest with Sana. They’re both seated opposite each other with a plate full of fried chicken in between them. Meanwhile, Jihyo is running her fingers over Momo’s hair as the older girl sleeps on her lap. On the other side of the table, Dahyun has her arm wrapped around Gahyeon while the latter leans on her shoulder. They’ve never been much for PDA, always choosing to be subtle in their little corner.

“What’s going on here?” Chaeyoung asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“Don’t interrupt them,” Jihyo explains as she shifts her legs to better accommodate Momo’s sleeping form, “The last person to blink gets all the chicken.”

Jeongyeon and Sana ignore their entrance. When Mina looks at them closer, she sees that both their eyes are red with tears leaking from the corners. Guess they’ve been at it for a while now. Chaeyoung hands Nayeon off to Mina and grabs a piece of chicken off the plate. She’s too busy taking a huge bite out of it she doesn’t notice the outraged look on Jeongyeon and Sana’s faces. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, SON CHAEYOUNG!”

Mina uses the last bit of her strength to drag Nayeon away from the table and towards the street, where she flags down a taxi and takes her girlfriend home.)

…

Nayeon wakes up when she feels a pair lips pressing a kiss on her forehead. Her surroundings are a bit hard to make out but she can recognize her girlfriend’s silhouette anywhere. A wave of relief rushes over her, instantaneous and overwhelming. Mina is her safe place. Always has been, always will be. 

“Hey,” Mina whispers, sensing her conscious state, “we’re back at the hotel.” 

Nayeon’s throat is a bit dry but she manages to ask, “How’d we get here?”

“I carried you.” Mina’s tone sounds smug and Nayeon rolls her eyes before she hisses in pain. Wrong move. Her head feels like it’s going to explode. She shouldn’t have woken up. 

Mina disappears for a few seconds before she comes back holding a glass of water and two aspirins. She guides Nayeon to a sitting position and makes sure she gets her medicine. Once it’s done, the older girl sighs and leans against her girlfriend, basking in the warmth radiating from her skin. It’s quiet in their room, except for the soft hum of the airconditioning and the small traffic below their window. The dryness in her throat has been quenched but the throbbing in her head has yet to fade. Nayeon curls into Mina, arms circling around her waist and face burying into the crook of her neck. Mina relaxes against her. 

“Hi,” Nayeon murmurs, “wanna have sex with me?” 

Mina chokes out a laugh. “God, you’re drunk.” 

“I know.” Nayeon traces patterns on the exposed skin of Mina’s back with the tips of her fingers; the younger girl shivers. “The offer still stands.” 

“Pervert.” 

“Only for you.”

Mina tilts her chin up and kisses her square in the mouth. “Ask me again when you’re not going to pass out on me,” she whispers and Nayeon’s eyelids start to droop at her words. She ends up falling asleep on top of Mina later that night.

…

(Mina, as always, doesn’t mind.)

…


	10. you look perfect tonight pt. 3 [M]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Where Nayeon asks a question and Mina answers her.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, two months in the making and we're finally here. 
> 
> It's been fun but it's definitely time to say goodbye to this fic. It's been too long and I have other projects to start working on. Anyway, if you want me to see your reactions or anything like that, just use the #NayeonWhy tag even though I doubt people will actually use it now lmao. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

**Puppy ** **🐾** ** (12:08 AM)**

Chaeng just got here.

**Puppy ** **🐾** ** (12:09 AM)**

Why does she look so sad? ☹️

**Jihyo-unnie ** **🧡** ** (12:11 AM)**

Oh. Your wife did something stupid.

**Jihyo-unnie ** **🧡** ** (12:12 AM)**

And Jeongyeon took away her maid-of-honor rights for her wedding.

**Puppy ** **🐾** ** (12:12 AM)**

Oh! Did Jeongyeon-unnie propose? 👀

**Jihyo-unnie ** **🧡** ** (12:13 AM)**

LMAO I WISH!

**Jihyo-unnie ** **🧡** ** (12:13 AM)**

😅😅😅

**Jihyo-unnie ** **🧡** ** (12:14 AM)**

….but she’s planning to.

**Puppy ** **🐾** ** (12:15 AM)**

Did she tell you that?

**Jihyo-unnie ** **🧡** ** (12:16 AM)**

She didn’t have to. 

**Jihyo-unnie ** **🧡** ** (12:18 AM)**

I’m just very observant and perceptive of other people, especially the ones who matter to me. 

**Puppy ** **🐾** ** (12:20 AM)**

Sure, you are.

**Jihyo-unnie ** **🧡** ** (12:25 AM)**

Okay, fine. She was bringing around a box with the engagement ring inside and it might’ve fallen several times out of her pocket because she was too busy fighting with Chaeng for the last piece of fried chicken on the table.

**Jihyo-unnie ** **🧡** ** (12:25 AM)**

Thank God Momo was already asleep.

**Puppy ** **🐾** ** (12:26 AM)**

Okay.

**Jihyo-unnie ** **🧡** ** (12:27 AM)**

Don’t tell Momo 🥺

**Puppy ** **🐾** ** (12:28 AM)**

Of course not.

**Puppy ** **🐾** ** (12:29 AM)**

I want her to experience the same thing I felt when Chaeyoung proposed to me 😊

**Jihyo-unnie ** **🧡** ** (12:31 AM)**

And I want Jeong to experience the same thing I felt when Sana said yes to me 😊

**Puppy ** **🐾** ** (12:33 AM)**

My lips are shut.

…

**Darling ** **💚** ** (7:09 AM)**

Good morning, Satang! ☀️

**Darling ** **💚** ** (7:09 AM)**

Nayeon and I will be late for practice.

**Darling ** **💚** ** (7:11 AM)**

She’s still hungover from the party last night. 

**Honey ** **💜** ** (10:12 AM)**

lmao sameeeeee!!!!

**Honey ** **💜** ** (10:15 AM)**

i literally jwu

**Honey ** **💜** ** (10:17 AM)**

jihyo is stressing out over here cause if we start the rehearsals late, the rehearsal dinner will be delayed as well can u pls help me calm her down or something 😞😞

**Darling ** **💚** ** (10:20 AM)**

Maybe you should get out of bed and help her instead of texting me?

**Darling ** **💚** ** (10:21 AM)**

That should help.

**Honey ** **💜** ** (10:22 AM)**

hmmmm good idea!!!

**Honey ** **💜** ** (10:23 AM)**

but maybe later

**Honey ** **💜** ** (10:23 AM)**

i still have to watch the cute puppy videos tzuyu just sent!!!! 🤭🤭🤭

**Darling ** **💚** ** (10:25 AM)**

Tell Jihyo I send my regards.

…

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Yoo Jeongyeon ** **💗** ** (12:09 PM)**

Hey sana!!! 😬

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Park Jihyo ** **💖** ** (12:10 PM)**

hi momoring!!! whats up??? 😊😊😊

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Yoo Jeongyeon ** **💗** ** (12:12 PM)**

I have a very important question

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Yoo Jeongyeon ** **💗** ** (12:13 PM)**

Completely unrelated to the wedding tomorrow whatsoever

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Yoo Jeongyeon ** **💗** ** (12:15 PM)**

But what would technically and hypothetically happen if i ever lost ur wedding ring?

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Park Jihyo ** **💖** ** (12:17 PM)**

[_You have three missed calls_]

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Yoo Jeongyeon** **💗** **(12:20 PM)**

IM NOT PICKING UP UNLESS I KNOW FOR CERTAIN URE NOT GOING TO KILL ME

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Park Jihyo ** **💖** ** (12:20 PM)**

Momo pls you’re my best friend, I would never kill you. 

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Park Jihyo ** **💖** ** (12:21 PM)**

Pls pick up my calls 🥺🥺🥺

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Yoo Jeongyeon** **💗** **(12:22 PM)**

If you say so……

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Park Jihyo ** **💖** ** (12:23 PM)**

[_Soon-To-Be Mrs. Park Jihyo_ **💖** _is calling_]

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Yoo Jeongyeon** **💗** **(12:24 PM)**

YOU SAID YOU WOULDNT KILL ME

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Park Jihyo ** **💖** ** (12:25 PM)**

I SAID I WOULDNT KILL YOU 

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Park Jihyo ** **💖** ** (12:25 PM)**

I NEVER SAID I WOULDNT YELL AT YOU

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Park Jihyo ** **💖** ** (12:26 PM)**

NOW PLEASE GO FIND THE RING BEFORE JIHYO USES HER JIHYO SENSES TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHINGS WRONG

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Yoo Jeongyeon** **💗** **(12:29 PM)**

OK OK I’VE ASKED JEONG AND DAHYUN TO HELP

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Park Jihyo ** **💖** ** (12:31 PM)**

pls pls pls give me good news later at the rehearsals 😭😭😭

**Soon-To-Be Mrs. Yoo Jeongyeon** **💗** **(12:33 PM)**

😭😭😭

When Nayeon wakes up the next day, she feels like death.

...

(Wedding rehearsals can typically go on for hours or happen in the blink of an eye. During Chaeyoung and Tzuyu’s wedding, Mina wasn’t part of rehearsals since she didn’t know them that well back then. But it’s different for Sana and Jihyo’s wedding. It's over in a second. All of them are bridesmaids with Nayeon and Jeongyeon sharing the title of Jihyo’s maid-of-honor (_she just couldn’t choose between them!_) and Momo holding that position for Sana.

When Sana asked Momo to be her maid-of-honor, Mina didn’t blink. It was expected. They’ve always been together and have never been separated, staying strong even when Mina left them the first time around. It just means Mina might have a harder time picking her own maid-of-honor when she gets married.

_When_. Mina smiles at the thought as she watches Nayeon wrap Dahyun up in a hug and moan about her splitting headache after rehearsals end and they head to the next venue. It feels nice to have something to look forward to—even if it might take a while to get there. 

Nayeon has always made her wait when it comes to matters of the heart.

It doesn’t mean she isn’t worth it, though.)

…

The rehearsal dinner has only just started and yet, Nayeon is already nursing a headache. 

“What do you mean Momo nearly lost the ring?” she grumbles at Jeongyeon, who sits next to her, holding her head in her hands, “Like, how? When? _Why_?” 

“The _point _is,” Jeongyeon mumbles, “where she _finally _found it.” 

“Where?”

“On her ring finger.”

Nayeon slaps her forehead and doesn't even bother to ask why Momo would even wear Sana's ring on her finger. Best friend things, she guesses? “Jesus,” she exclaims, “I would’ve died of a heart attack if I ever found out _my _maid-of-honor nearly lost the ring.”

“Tell me about it.”

The rehearsal dinner is a relatively chill event. Sana and Jihyo’s guests are all mingled together, enjoying a fruitful time in getting to know one another. Nayeon spots Jihyo’s parents talking to Sana’s, looking happy and content for their daughters. It makes her remember the last time she met up with Mina’s parents and played Counter Strike with Kai… 

“Hey,” Jeongyeon calls, nudging her shoulder, “Look at them.” 

Nayeon follows her best friend’s gaze. She spots the rest of their friends crowding around Chaeyoung and Tzuyu’s table, mostly because of Eunwoo. Momo is begging Chaeyoung to let her hold him _for once in her life before she gets into an accident or something_—her words, not Nayeon’s. Meanwhile, Mina, Tzuyu and Gahyeon are engaged in a conversation that involves a lot of nodding and hand gestures, which must mean it’s interesting. On the other side, Dahyun and Sana are singing loudly to the music, waving their arms together and laughing in glee. Jihyo isn’t anywhere to be seen but when Nayeon cranes her neck to look for her, she spots her talking to her little sisters with a serious expression on her face. She must be explaining their flower girl duties for tomorrow’s wedding.

“Friends,” Jeongyeon says, even though her eyes are fixated on Momo.

“Family,” Nayeon corrects, watching Mina as well.

There’s a pause.

“Time runs fast when we’re all together,” Nayeon adds, unable to stop the wide grin from forming on her lips, “It feels like yesterday that Chaeng and Tzuyu got married.” 

Jeongyeon nods. “And now, the next wedding is going to me and Momo’s.”

Nayeon slaps Jeong on the arm. “I agreed to letting you propose first,” she grumbles, “but I never said anything about you getting _married _first.” 

“Please, with your chickenshit ass, you’re probably going to flake out at the last second too,” the nurse points out and Nayeon would’ve slapped her again if there wasn’t any truth in her words. And there is. Because, at the end of the day, Nayeon is still terrified of what might happen once Mina says yes…

She sighs and plays with the napkin on the table. “I’ll get over it,” she says. 

“I didn’t ask you to,” Jeongyeon tells her earnestly, “It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared too.”

When Nayeon raises her eyes to meet Jeongyeon’s, she sees the raw honesty reflected in them. “Why?” she asks. The rehearsal dinner isn’t the best time to talk about this but they barely got the time to talk about their proposals last night because they were too busy getting drunk and being happy. Besides, they’re alone. It makes sense to talk about it now, especially since Jeong already plans to pop the question during this whole thing. 

Jeongyeon cracks a smile, albeit an anxious one. “Because things are always changing,” she answers, “and nothing stays the same.” 

Nayeon exhales, understanding the sentiment perfectly. “I get that.”

“I just hope that Momo will keep loving me despite it all.”

“She will.”

Jeongyeon’s smile turns soft. “Just as Mina will, you know,” she whispers. 

Nayeon playfully rolls her eyes before she extends her hand. After a moment, Jeongyeon takes it, their fingers intertwining with one another’s. “Be my maid-of-honor?” she asks, “When I get married.” 

Jeongyeon laughs. “I thought that was already well-established.” 

“You have to share the title with Jihyo, though,” Nayeon points out. 

“I know.” Jeongyeon shrugs. “Same as you.”

They grin at each other before Nayeon looks away and dramatically sighs. "Anyway," she starts, smiling at Mina from across the room, "if you lose my ring while you're my maid-of-honor, I'll kidnap your firstborn."

…

("Hey, babe," Mina says when she passes by; Nayeon and Jeongyeon stop whatever it is they were talking about and glance at her. 

Nayeon's bunny smile is blinding. "Hi, how's Eunwoo?" 

"Eating strawberries," Mina answers, pointing to where Chaeyoung was currently mass-feeding her son strawberries. By the look on Eunwoo’s face, it’s clear he doesn’t like it one bit. “If he pukes on her later, please tell her ‘I told you so’ for me.”

Nayeon raises an eyebrow. “You never pass up on the opportunity to tell someone that,” she says, “Where are you going?”

Mina cracks a grin. This is a secret she’s been keeping from Nayeon for a while now, even though she did stumble across it a few months back. But now, the time has finally come to reveal it. She looks over her shoulder, spots Momo and Sana heading to their respective positions on the stage, and leans in close to Nayeon: “Remember that song I wrote?”

Nayeon meets her gaze, a question in her eyes. “You mean _Shot Thru The Heart_? You never finished it, right?”

Mina smiles and shakes her head. “I finished _my _part.”

“Wait, what?”

Everybody’s attention shifts to the stage when Sana’s voice rings across the hall: “Hey, guys, we have a small surprise for you!” The bride is standing in front, a microphone in hand. There’s a large smile on her face. Judging by her excited bouncing, it’s clear she can’t wait to blow everybody away with what the three of them have prepared. 

Mina looks back at Nayeon. “You’ll see,” she says, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to her lips, “This is for you.”

Before Nayeon can respond, Mina heads to the stage. There are three microphone stands placed up front. Momo takes the far left, Sana is in the middle and Mina comes up to stand behind the one in the right. All the guests are now facing them, their interests peaked. Mina spots Jihyo taking a vacant seat behind Nayeon and Jeongyeon and leaning in to ask a question. The three of them look confused but excited.

The first time Momo brought up writing a song for their girlfriends, Mina was nervous to do it. She hasn’t been the best in expressing the full extent of her feelings. The first time she did so was when she wrote down stuff for Nayeon in her handbook. The only reason she managed to do that in the first place was because she thought Nayeon wouldn’t be able to read it. But she did. 

Now, Mina writes love letters for monthsaries, leaves messages on sticky notes, and draws hearts on Nayeon’s skin when they’re together. Sometimes, it feels like it’s not enough. There was a period in her life where Nayeon thought she was undeserving of love. Mina wants to spend the rest of her own proving her wrong. 

Because Nayeon deserves everything good in the world.

And for some reason, she thinks Mina is one of them.

Mina reaches up and grips the microphone in her hand tightly. When she raises her eyes, she meets Nayeon’s gaze in the crowd. Performing in front of people is something she’s always disliked. This is why she studied computers in college, after all. Her heart feels like it’s running a thousand miles per hour. Sana is talking but she can’t hear her through the pounding in her ears. She can do this. It’s fine.

She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and opens them seconds later.

She sees Nayeon raise her fist and mouth: “_hwaiting!_” 

And Mina feels like she’s on top of the world.)

…

Nayeon’s been serenaded before. 

Her ex-girlfriend Jennie’s rich, velvet voice was always something she looked forward to every single night when they went to bed. Sometimes, they’d take turns lulling each other to sleep. Most of the time, Nayeon only heard Jennie’s voice through the thin walls of their apartment when they were showering. Jennie liked singing so she sang to Nayeon once in a while.

It’s different with Mina. 

It’s always been different with Mina.

When Momo, Sana and Mina start singing, Nayeon’s heart feels like it’s going to burst with so much love and affection. It’s obvious they’re serenading their girlfriends, especially when Momo is moving her body to the beat of the song and laughing when Jeongyeon hastily opens her phone to record and Sana is winking and sending heart fingers at Jihyo who has her mouth hanging wide open like she’s trying to catch flies. The guests are cheering them on, hooting loudly and clapping their hands. 

The song is cute and catchy. Nayeon didn’t expect this type of tune when she first stumbled across the song in Mina’s notebook. Still, it suits them well. It seems like they’ve prepared this for this exact moment. Their voices blend well together. They could start their own idol group if they wanted. 

Nayeon’s eyes are fixed on Mina.

Mina, whose eyes are crinkled around the corners, whose cheeks are flushed pink and whose gummy smile is so wide it does unspeakable things to Nayeon’s heart. She’s only looking at Nayeon as she sings her lines: “_I’ll tell you something.” _

“_My heart_,” Sana begins, “_since when is it like this_. _Your heart, I want to know your heart_.”

“_Hot hot hot it’s hot_,” Mina adlibs, “_Because of you, hot hot hot, it’s shaking_.”

“_My heart, I’m sure of my heart,_” Momo sings, “_your heart, I’m not sure as time passes_.” 

_“Hot hot hot it’s hot_,” Mina starts again, shooting a wink at Nayeon who feels like the exact song title: _shot through the heart_, “_Because of you, hot hot hot, it’s shaking_.” 

“_Only because you’re special_,” all three of them finish at the same time. 

The crowd erupts into cheers. The three women step down from the stage. Jeongyeon is still recording, even when Momo drops into her lap and kisses her. Meanwhile, as Sana approaches, Jihyo stutters out random words like: “That was amazing, wonderful, beautiful and oh my God—I’m the _luckiest _girl in the entire world—” before her fiancé finally shuts her up with a searing kiss. People continue to cheer louder. It’s not everyday they get a free show, after all. 

Thankfully, when Mina gets to her side, she only pecks Nayeon on the cheek. “How did I do?” she asks, as if Nayeon won’t smile, shake her head and answer with, “_Perfect_.” 

…

(Halfway into the rehearsal dinner, Mina gets up and heads out to the balcony with a glass of wine in hand. The last thing she saw before she left was Nayeon dancing with Eunwoo in the middle of the dance floor while Chaeyoung and Tzuyu watched on nervously. Even though it was a hilarious scene to watch, she needed some fresh air. Being around so many people can be tiring, after all.

“You okay there?” somebody asks behind her. 

Mina doesn’t move from her spot, eyes fixed on the stars shining above her. “Yeah,” she says, “Just needed to breathe.”

Momo comes to stand next to her, leaning her arms on the railing. It’s quiet, except for the gentle sounds of crickets around them and the soft music playing in the background. Mina can see the ocean at a distance away. That’s the thing about Hawaii, she realizes; the ocean is always near. You can either see it, hear it or smell it in the air. 

_One day_, Mina thinks to herself, _I’ll move here with Nayeon._

“So, Sana’s getting hitched tomorrow,” Momo begins, sounding..._off_.

Mina glances at her side profile. “Yeah,” she says. Is she imagining things or is Momo’s lower lip wobbling?

“We’ve known each other since we were little kids,” her best friend goes on to say and Mina has a feeling that this is going to be a very important conversation. So she inches closer and reaches out to rest her hand on top of Momo’s. At her touch, Momo’s shoulders relax. They share a moment of silence to absorb the unsaid words in the air. Finally, Momo faces her and there is worry swirling in her eyes. 

Mina bites her lower lip, trying to read Momo’s mind. “Are you nervous for Sana’s wedding?” she asks but the other woman just shakes her head. Momo and Sana have been friends for so long that whatever the first one felt, the other would feel it too. They’re attuned to one another’s feelings and know each other like the back of their hand. When they were in high school, Mina always felt like she was intruding in their friendship, which both girls constantly disagreed with.

It’s times like this that Mina wished she knew them like they knew each other. It’s hard feeling like you’re out of the loop sometimes. Even though she spent the past three years getting to know them all over again, there’s still a lot to catch up on.

“Jeong’s planning to propose to me soon,” Momo tells her and Mina blinks, digesting the information for a full minute, before she finally exclaims, “WHAT!” 

Momo smirks at her. “She hasn’t been very good at hiding it,” she explains, “I saw the box in one of the drawers.”

Mina thinks about the worry in Momo’s eyes. “You don’t want her to propose…?” she asks, her voice trailing off in the hopes Momo will pick up what she’s putting down.

Thankfully, her friend must’ve been looking for somebody to talk to because she relaxes even more and turns her palm up to intertwine their fingers together. Momo isn’t hard to read but there are moments where she knows how to hide her feelings to make sure nobody sees. Mina isn’t just well-versed in distinguishing her facial expressions yet.

“Of course I want Jeongyeon to propose,” Momo says, smiling so brightly her eyes resemble the stars in the night sky above them, “and I can’t wait to scream ‘YES’ the second she drops down on one knee. I doubt she’ll even get the question out before I’m hugging her.” 

Mina smiles at the image in her head. “I can see that happening.”

“But.” The smile on Momo’s face fades. “I—I—I’m not really sure. The thought of getting married just makes me nervous. Things are changing all of a sudden. I don’t know how to feel about it.”

Mina tilts her head to the side, not saying anything. Momo doesn't need any advice, after all. All she needs right now is a listening ear. She’s happy to provide that for her friend.

“Don’t get me wrong,” the older woman goes on to say, “I love Jeongyeon with my whole heart. She… _gets _me, you know? Like, she knows what I want or need even before I do. She laughs at all my jokes, goes out with me when I’m craving jokbal, takes care of me when I’m sick. She’s literally everything I could’ve ever asked for in a girlfriend.”

Momo sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her free hand and chewing on her lower lip. Mina watches her quietly, still not saying anything in fear she might break off Momo’s thought process: “Before I met Jeong, I've had feelings for some people but none of them really caught my eye except…” Momo trails off, glancing at Mina quietly.

Something unspoken rises in the air between them. A laugh bubbles out of Mina’s chest when she realizes what or _who _Momo is talking about. “Except me, right?” she asks, her smile widening when Momo dramatically rolls her eyes and slaps her hand away.

It’s always makes Mina laugh—thinking about how she was hopelessly in love with Momo at one point and how Momo returned her feelings a little bit too late. Sometimes, she’d wonder what would’ve happened if she had confessed her feelings or if Momo had stopped her from moving away to South Korea for college. Things would’ve been different, sure, but it’s something she can’t imagine now that they’re both in happy relationships with other people.

“You should be honored that I liked you back,” Momo points out, scoffing, “I don’t like people that often.”

“Except Jeongyeon,” Mina muses, a broad smirk on her face.

Momo sighs, agreeing, “Except Jeongyeon.”

Silence again. Mina understands Momo’s sentiments perfectly. So she reaches over and envelops her friend in a back hug. Momo leans back against her, leaning her head against Mina’s cheek. “Why didn’t you tell Sana about this?” the younger girl asks, “She’s the one getting married tomorrow, I’m sure she would’ve said some things to ease your worries.”

“I didn’t want to add to her stress,” Momo grumbles.

Mina bites her tongue, even though a part of her wanted to point out that Sana looked perfectly happy and excited regarding wedding planning. Out of the two brides, it seemed like Jihyo was the one who looked ready to rip her hair out in case she didn’t get what she wanted. Still, Momo has her reasons and Mina is just happy she turned to her for comfort. It makes her feel warm and fuzzy inside. Despite the years they spent apart, they still found their way back to each other.

“You and Jeong will have a happy marriage,” Mina tells her confidently, “the same way Chaeng and Tzuyu have and the same way Sana and Jihyo will.”

Momo hums. After a moment, she places her hands on top of the ones Mina has around her waist. “What about you?” she asks, “Do you think Nayeon’s going to ask you to marry her soon?”

The thought of it is enough to make Mina giddy. “I hope so,” she gushes, “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her.”

“Whipped.” Momo chokes out a laugh when Mina playfully tickles her. “Kidding. It’s cute.”

“Hmm.” Mina thinks about it, her smile widening at the image of Nayeon in a wedding dress and walking down the aisle towards her, “I guess you’re right.”

…

“I can’t believe you wrote me a song,” Nayeon tells Mina later that night when they’re back in their hotel room, “How long did you guys prepare for that little presentation?”

“A few weeks,” Mina replies, eyes fixed on her Nintendo Switch, “It was Momo’s idea.” 

Nayeon hums, putting her phone on the bedside table and slipping under the covers next to her girlfriend. Mina doesn’t look up from her game, engrossed in whatever’s happening on the screen. Nayeon knows better than to interrupt. The last time she did so, she accidentally made Mina delete a month’s worth of progress. The cold shoulder she received afterwards is something she doesn’t want to go through again. 

“You’re cute,” is all she says, settling for some much-needed rest. They did spend the entire day preparing for Sana and Jihyo’s wedding. Nayeon didn’t even prepare a speech, choosing instead to speak straight from the heart. 

Mina smiles her trademark gummy smile and Nayeon finds herself staring. Maybe it’s because of the overall romantic atmosphere of the wedding or the fact that Mina _actually _wrote a song for her but Nayeon can’t help but whisper the following words: “I love you.”

A pause. Mina puts down her Switch and looks up at her. Maybe this is the right time to propose but Nayeon finds herself lost in the warmth of Mina’s brown eyes. It’s hard to think of anything else when you’ve got a beautiful girlfriend looking at you like you put the stars in the night sky. 

Nayeon doesn’t deserve her.

“I love you too,” Mina says, leaning forward and brushing her lips against Nayeon’s, “I always have and I always will.” The echo of a similar statement pops into her mind, one that Mina has told her countless times before: _I’m here, I’ve always been here_.

Nayeon nods, eyes fluttering shut, as Mina presses their mouths together for a firmer kiss. _Marry me_, she wants to say but she doesn’t. Not now, not yet. 

…

(The wedding is today.

When Mina wakes up, she finds the other side of the bed empty. The space next to her is still warm, though, which means Nayeon hasn’t been gone for long. Ten minutes later, as she’s texting Sana, her girlfriend slips in through the front door holding two cups of coffee and a bag of bagels. Mina grins at the sight.

“Hi,” she greets as Nayeon hands her a cup. When she takes a sip, her grin widens at the familiar taste of vanilla on her tongue. Ever since Nayeon figured out how to make her coffee, she hasn’t gotten it wrong. Still, it doesn’t stop Nayeon from pumping her fist in victory every time she gets it right.

She’s so cute. Mina falls in love more each day. A part of her wonders if it’s even possible to love someone as much as she loves Nayeon.

“We have to be at the venue in an hour,” Nayeon reminds her, taking a seat on the bed, “Are you ready?”

Mina thinks about all the things she has to do before the wedding even starts—change into her bridesmaid dress, meet up with the rest of the girls, make sure Sana doesn’t have wedding jitters and leave the venue (though she’s pretty sure she doesn’t have to worry about that) and get through the reception afterwards. The day has barely started but she already wants to get back into bed and cuddle with Nayeon.

“Yes,” Mina answers, leaning on her girlfriend’s shoulder, “but let’s finish our coffee first.”)

…

Jihyo looks beautiful. 

When Nayeon enters the bride’s room, all the breath is knocked out of her throat once she sees her best friend admiring herself in front of the mirror. Her blonde hair is tied in an intricate bun that must’ve taken hours to finish and perfect. Her white wedding dress follows an A-line style with a plunging neckline and minimal frills. The dress reaches the floor but it doesn’t have the same length as Tzuyu’s did during her wedding. It’s simple and elegant and Nayeon wonders how Sana will feel once she sees her future wife looking absolutely _stunning_.

“Wow,” Nayeon says, shutting the door behind her, “You look _almost _as pretty as me.”

Jihyo rolls her eyes. “I’ll take it,” she says, before she tilts her head to the side questioningly, “What are you doing here, by the way? Aren’t you supposed to be with the others?” 

“Well, as your maid-of-honor,” Nayeon begins, walking into the room and resting her hands on Jihyo’s shoulders. Her own dress (a navy one) compliments Jihyo’s but not enough to take attention away from the bride. The two of them stare at their reflections in the mirror. Nayeon cracks a wide grin. “I wanted to make sure you don’t have any wedding jitters,” she adds, “I’ve heard stories of runaway brides, after all. Wouldn’t want that to happen. I hear booking this place is expensive.” 

Jihyo scoffs, glaring at her through the mirror. “What makes you think I’d run away?”

“I don’t.”

“Then why are you here?” 

Nayeon shrugs. “I couldn’t come up with a better excuse,” she answers, wrapping her arms around Jihyo’s waist and making sure not to ruin her hair, “I need your help.”

“I immediately think that you’ve killed someone and need help burying the body every time you say those words,” Jihyo grumbles but she turns towards Nayeon, grabs her hands and leads them to the couch, “Okay, what is it? We’ve got an hour left to kill before the wedding officially starts.” 

“It’s nothing serious,” Nayeon assures her gently. It definitely doesn’t warrant for Jihyo’s worried expression, “I just remembered something and wanted to ask you about it.” 

Jihyo gives her a funny look. “And you thought an hour before my wedding starts is the most reasonable time to ask it?”

“Well.” Nayeon didn’t really think about that. She’s about to shake her head and stand up to leave the room when Jihyo chuckles and pulls her back down again. 

“I’m only kidding, unnie.”

“Asshole.”

“What’s your question?” 

Nayeon pauses, thinking it through. Initially, she didn’t want to disturb Jihyo on her wedding day but it’d been something she wanted to ask ever since they got together here in Hawaii. She thinks about their lunch date the other day and how she had wanted to share her worries and anxiety about asking Mina to marry her before they were both interrupted by the arrival of their friends. The past years have taught her that if she wanted to talk to someone, she had to do it fast before other people came barging in demanding her attention. 

Besides, once the wedding is over, Jihyo and Sana are going to stay in Hawaii for their honeymoon. Nayeon doesn’t have much time left. An hour before the ceremony seems like the only time she’ll get to talk to Jihyo before they’re both swept away to wedding vows, the reception and the honeymoon. 

“Are you scared?” Nayeon finally asks, her eyes fixed on the wall behind Jihyo. She doesn’t want to see the confusion in her eyes yet because it might pass onto her. 

“Scared about what?” Jihyo asks, sounding genuinely confused, “About getting married?”

Nayeon finally meets her best friend’s gaze. Ever since she and Mina arrived here in Hawaii, Nayeon hasn’t been able to stop thinking about the _perfect _moment to propose. Now that she’s aware Jeongyeon is planning to do the same with Momo and Jihyo is about to get married to Sana, a part of her knows she has to make some decisions when it comes to her relationship with Mina. If she keeps second-guessing every little thing in her plans, she'll get nowhere. There’s no such thing as a perfect proposal, after all. Their relationship is far from it. 

Still, Mina deserves the best.

Nayeon takes a deep breath and nods at Jihyo’s words. “Yeah,” she answers, “about getting married.” 

Jihyo hums, thinking about it. “I guess I am,” she answers after a pause, “but it’s more of an excited-scared, if you get what I mean? Like, I’m scared because this is such a huge step in my life but at the same time, I’m happy that I get to make that step with Sana.”

Nayeon nods. “That’s great,” she says, sharing in Jihyo’s smile. She thinks about last year, when Jihyo asked Sana to marry her. She’d done it completely on her own, without informing Nayeon and Jeongyeon. So it’d been a complete shock to find out they were already engaged. And when they all met up over coffee, Nayeon hadn’t been able to ask much about how the proposal went down since all Sana could talk about was wedding planning. 

“That’s not what you want to ask,” Jihyo points out. Sometimes, it’s downright creepy that she manages to read Nayeon’s mind so easily. 

“Yeah,” she agrees, not even bothering to hide it, “I want to ask how you _knew _when to propose.”

When Jihyo’s smile reaches her eyes, it resembles the sun peeking out of the clouds after a stormy day. Almost at once, the nerves leave Nayeon’s system. This is the reason why she reaches out to Jihyo when she needs advice. No offense to Jeongyeon but Jihyo provides the kind of warmth and safety Nayeon doesn’t even realize she needs until she’s receiving it in the form of a radiant smile or a steady hand on top of her own. 

“You’re planning to propose too?” Jihyo asks, leaning forward excitedly.

“_Too_?” Nayeon repeats, her brain catching up with the implication of the words, “Wait, did Jeong tell you about her plans as well?” She can understand Jihyo not telling her about her plans to propose to Sana a year prior but _Jeongyeon_? If Jeong told Jihyo before she told Nayeon about her proposal, then somebody’s about to get smacked—

But Jihyo waves her off. “Nah,” she says, “I found out because the box with the ring inside kept falling out of her pocket while we were at the party.”

Nayeon groans, facepalming. “What a fucking idiot,” she mumbles. 

Jihyo laughs, shaking her head. "Tell me about it." 

Nayeon pulls her hand away from her face and focuses on adjusting her wedding dress. All of a sudden, her sudden need to share her plans with Jihyo has shifted into a knot of nerves and tension at the pit of her stomach. Despite Chaeyoung and Jeongyeon telling her that there is nothing to be afraid of when it comes to marriage, she can’t help but feel the familiar lump of ‘_I’m-going-to-fuck-this-up_’ in the back of her throat. It’s the same thing she felt during her entire relationship with Jennie and the beginnings of her new one with Mina. It never really goes away but she’s gotten better at overcoming them. It’s always in times of vulnerability and fear that she finds herself feeling this way all over again. 

A warm hand on her arm stills her thoughts. “I always have a plan,” Jihyo begins and it doesn’t take long for Nayeon to realize she’s already starting her story, “You know me—I can’t live without planning my day or even the rest of my week. When we were kids, I knew that I wanted to help people. Being a lawyer fit into my goals easily enough. So that’s what I pursued. I knew what my goal was and I did everything to get it right.”

Nayeon inches closer because she can see Jihyo’s eyes filling with happy tears. The bride hastily raises her free hand and wipes them away before they can fall. Her smile is bright, tinged with nostalgia. “When I met Sana, I knew she was the one,” she explains, “and when we hit the two-year mark, I knew that I wanted to propose to her. So that’s what I did.”

Jihyo looks up at Nayeon then. Despite being older, Nayeon feels like a teenager receiving love advice from her mother. It’s not an unpleasant feeling—she looks up to Jihyo more than she knows. She’ll never say it out loud, though.

“So, you just decided to do it?” Nayeon asks, frowning. It’s not the answer she really wanted to hear. 

Jihyo must know this because her smile widens. “It’s different for everybody,” she goes on to say, “With Chaeyoung, she did it spontaneously, as she always does. With me, I planned everything down. I prepared dinner, complete with scented candles, rose petals and romantic music playing in the background. I made sure to have Sana’s favorite song playing when I asked her the question.”

Nayeon’s mouth drops. She didn’t know that. She knows Jihyo is ambitious in every sense of the word but her proposal, while simple and intimate, was carefully crafted. Nayeon should do that. God, what on earth is she thinking? Is she really just planning to pop the question randomly? Mina deserves better than that—

Jihyo’s hand moves down her arm, fingers wrapping around her wrist and stilling Nayeon’s rampant thoughts once more. “The thing is, unnie,” she begins quietly, “there’s no such thing as the perfect moment.”

Nayeon furrows her eyebrows. “But you planned the perfect moment,” she points out.

“Because I’m a perfectionist,” Jihyo says, “but you’re not. Remember three years ago? What Tzuyu told you before? When you thought Mina was going to America and you didn’t know for certain if you were going to go after her?” 

Of course Nayeon remembers. “We don’t need plans when it comes to love,” she echoes, “We just _do _it.”

“You don’t need fancy candlelights, romantic music or even a ring, in Chaeyoung’s case.” Jihyo’s eyes are gentle and warm as she takes Nayeon’s hands in her own and leans forward. “What makes the moment perfect is the fact that you want to spend the rest of your life with Mina and you’re not afraid to say it out loud.”

…

(Mina fiddles with the bouquet in her hand as she waits for the ceremony to begin. The ceremony takes place by the beach because what’s the point of flying to Hawaii if you’re not going to have a beach wedding? The path leading to the archway is surrounded with colorful bursts of flowers. All the chairs have been designed to match the overall color combination of the wedding—white as the main color with navy and yellow as secondary shades. All the guests are seated, waiting for the music to start.

For some reason, Mina feels nervous. She doesn’t know why. Perhaps she’s attuned to Sana’s feelings as well. But when she turns to look at the bride, she finds Sana excitedly pacing back and forth. She can’t seem to stop moving and Momo has to make sure she doesn’t trip on the hem of her dress. Tzuyu, standing next to Mina, lets out a soft sigh.

“Are you okay?” Mina asks.

“Oh, yeah.” Tzuyu peeks into the venue where everybody else is waiting. It doesn’t take Mina long to realize she’s watching Elkie and Eunwoo among the guests. “I’m just worried. I don’t know why. I’m always worried about Eunwoo.”

“He’ll be fine,” Mina muses. It’s cute that Tzuyu’s first and foremost thought is always of her son. “We still have bridesmaid duties, after all.” 

Tzuyu sighs again, focusing on her own bouquet in her hands. “It’s different when you have a kid,” she murmurs. Mina will always find it ironic that the two youngest of their groups got married and had a child first. It makes her realize that age doesn’t really matter, as long as you know who you’re supposed to be with. 

“I used to think that there was nobody else I could ever love more than Chaeyoung,” Tzuyu continues, glancing shyly at Mina who nods at her to go on, “but when Eunwoo was born, things shifted. I know it’s the same for her. Everything we do, it’s for him.”

Mina stays quiet. She doesn’t really understand the full extent of Chaeyoung and Tzuyu’s devotion for their child, since she doesn’t have her own yet. She can only imagine what must be on Tzuyu’s mind all the time. “Don’t worry,” she assures her, “when the ceremony is over, he’ll be back in your arms.”

This finally seems to relax Tzuyu. She shoots Mina a sheepish grin and shakes her head. “I’m sorry if he’s all I can talk about,” she says apologetically.

“It’s cute.” Mina thinks about the dimple on Eunwoo’s right cheek. “_He’s _cute, so it’s completely understandable.” 

Tzuyu brightens up as she pulls her phone from some hidden compartment in her dress. “You should see him in his Halloween costume,” she excitedly says, already browsing through some pictures and Mina laughs when she sees Eunwoo wearing a lion costume, “Chaeng wanted to dress him up as a strawberry but I managed to convince her otherwise…”)

...

Nayeon’s been through this before: walk down the aisle with the rest of the bridesmaids, listen to Dahyun and Jeongyeon make a bet on who would cry first, be the first to break down when the first bride (Jihyo) walks in with her father, break down harder when the second one (Sana) does the same thing minutes later and then listen to her two friends proclaim their love for each other as eternal and never ending. 

It’s similar to what happened back at Chaeng and Tzuyu’s wedding. Only this time, when she catches Mina’s eye from their respective sides, she can’t help but imagine how different it will be when it’s finally their turn. 

…

(Sana’s always been a sucker for romance.

When they were in high school, it was always Sana dragging them to the cinema to watch the latest romantic comedy showing that day. It was always her going on dates and gushing about how it was _so _romantic. It was always her talking about meeting the soulmate and impatiently waiting for that day to come.

And now she’s marrying her soulmate and Mina’s never felt so happy for her.

“The first time I saw Sana,” the said soulmate, Jihyo, begins her speech, eyes as bright as the sun smiling down on them, “I walked into her room while she was changing. It’s not how I expected to meet the woman I’m going to marry one day. I remember apologizing profusely and then slamming the door shut behind me. Thankfully, she didn’t call me a pervert or screamed for help. That would’ve been awful. I actually thought we would be awkward when we met later on. But we weren’t.”

Sana laughs, never taking her eyes off Jihyo as their first meeting is retold. They look beautiful together, their dresses perfectly matching with each other’s but ensuring they’re the ones standing out as well. Mina can’t see Sana’s expression but she knows it must mirror the love-struck one Jihyo is currently wearing. 

“I still remember what Sana’s first words to me were,” Jihyo goes on, gummy smile in place, “It was after dinner during our first day at Chaeng and Tzuyu’s wedding. She walked up to me a few hours after that embarrassing first meeting, smiled and said, _‘Hi, I’m Minatozaki Sana and I don’t mind if you saw everything_.’ It was that smile, I think, that made me fall for her instantly.”

Everybody starts cooing. Momo bumps her shoulder with Mina’s, eyes bright with unshed tears. Behind her, Tzuyu sniffles, reaching for a tissue she must’ve conveniently hid in her dress.

“I always tell everybody that I _didn’t _see everything,” Jihyo says, coughing when there are a few hoots from the guests, “but I did see everything, Sana-yah. Just not the way you expected. When I saw you for the first time, I saw it all—I saw the person I was going to fall for, the person I was going to wake up next to every morning, the person I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with. And here we are.”

Jihyo looks down at their locked hands, the smile never leaving her face. “You’re my everything,” she confesses, voice so low that most of the guests didn’t hear the words but Mina hears it loud and clear, “and I want to be your everything for as long as we both shall live. That’s my vow to you—to be the first face you see every morning, to be your shoulder to cry on, to be the cause of your tears and laughter, to be your headache and medicine, to be the mother of our future children and to be your last thought every night before you go to sleep…”

When Jihyo looks up at Sana again, Mina’s breath catches in her throat. Because she can see how much Jihyo means every word she said. And judging by Sana’s shaking shoulders (a clear sign of her struggling to fight back tears), it’s obvious Sana hears the truth in those words as well.)

…

In their entire three-year friendship, Nayeon has only seen Sana cry once. 

It was when she stormed into Nayeon’s apartment and knocked some sense into her for hurting Mina. _If I have to watch Mina jump on a plane for the third time in my life, I wouldn’t be able to bear it_, she had said. When Nayeon thinks about it now, she thanks Sana for being the wake-up call she desperately needed in that moment. After all, Sana is the type of person who thinks about other people’s happiness before her own and who’ll make sure others aren’t afraid to reach for it. _Cherophobia_, Nayeon recalls, _the fear of happiness_. Sana doesn’t have that fear.

And because of her, Nayeon isn’t afraid anymore.

So, when Sana starts crying even before she begins her vows, Nayeon steps up and hands Jihyo some tissues to give to her bride. Jihyo turns to her, mouths ‘thank you’ and wipes the tears away from Sana’s eyes. Everybody watches as Sana struggles to stop crying despite the large smile on her face. 

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” she promises her future wife, letting out a deep breath, “I’m just... I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy my entire life.” 

Jihyo laughs, understanding the sentiment perfectly. Nayeon’s heart grows large at the sight of them. They look so beautiful and happy...

“I’ve always been a firm believer in love,” Sana starts, inhaling sharply as she takes Jihyo’s hands in her own, “and I’m a firm believer that if you want something, you shouldn’t be afraid to chase after it. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I wanted you. Every time you entered the room, you were all that I could see. Every time you spoke, your voice was all that I could hear. Every time I looked at you, all I wanted was for you to look at me too.” 

Nayeon finds herself nodding, eyes flickering over Sana’s shoulder to spot Mina watching the pair with a gummy smile on her face. 

“It didn’t take long for us to get together,” Sana continues, “but I wouldn’t be lying if I told you that during our first week together, all I wanted was to be with you already. Call me impatient or excited or plain stupid but I spent most of my childhood dreaming of finding my soulmate. There was no way I was going to wait another second not being with her.”

Nayeon sweeps her gaze amongst the guests. Most of them are smiling. A few are crying and dabbing at their eyes to preserve their make-up. Nayeon's already spent the first half of the ceremony doing the same so she would rather not cry anymore. Still, Sana’s words are enough to turn her insides into mush. Behind her, she hears Jeongyeon, Dahyun and Chaeyoung struggling to hold back their own tears and dissing each other for crying in the first place.

“You make me the happiest girl in the world,” Sana tells Jihyo, her smile wide and happy. Even with tears in her eyes, she looks beautiful; “and I kind of want this whole ceremony to be finished already so that I can call you my wife and start our married life together. But before that happens, I want to say a few more things.” 

With these words, Sana takes a step closer and looks into Jihyo’s eyes. “I love you,” she says, “and I promise to always love you, even when you get overbearing or when you make decisions without consulting me or when you take my food without asking. I will love you, even when you’re away on your trips or when you’re cranky and exhausted from your work or when you get so stressed that you refuse to burden me with your problems. I won’t promise that I won’t be upset at you during our arguments or that our marriage will be perfect but I can promise you that I will never stop loving you. It’s hard not to, especially when you’ve built a home in my heart and refused to leave my thoughts.”

And just like _that_—Jihyo cries. 

…

(“I pronounce you wife and wife,” the officiant declares, “You may now kiss the bride.”

When Sana and Jihyo share their first kiss as wives, the crowd erupts into cheers.

Mina ends up comforting a crying Tzuyu who has difficulty expressing just how happy she is for Sana and Jihyo. The older girl tells her it’s okay, she understands. No words need to be said. Everybody is happy. You can see it in their eyes. Nothing can ruin this moment.)

…

For some reason, when the crowd disperses for picture taking, Jeongyeon looks nervous. 

“What’s wrong?” Nayeon asks as they wait for Sana and Jihyo to turn their backs on them to throw their bouquets, “You look like you’re going to shit yourself.” 

Jeongyeon shoots her a glare. “Chaeng and I made a deal,” she mutters under her breath.

Nayeon groans. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes!” Speak of the devil. Chaeyoung pops up from behind Jeongyeon with a large grin on her face, the dimple on her right cheek prominent, as she watches her two unnies mischievously. “And she isn’t allowed to back out!” 

“When was this deal made?” Nayeon asks, feeling out of the loop.

This time, it’s Dahyun who answers, materializing out of thin air just behind Chaeyoung: “Just now,” she says, “Right after my bro told me that Jeongyeon-unnie has plans on proposing to her lover.” 

Jeongyeon breathes out a frustrated sigh. “I regret letting you do that,” she mutters darkly. 

Nayeon rears the subject back to the deal before Dahyun and Chaeyoung makes fun of Jeongyeon again. “What was the deal?” she asks, shaking her best friend’s arm, “Come on, tell me!” 

“Okay, okay, sheesh Nabongs,” Jeongyeon grumbles as she shrugs her off and nods at where Sana and Jihyo are practicing their bouquet throwing, “Chaeng told me to pop the question if Momo catches the bouquet.” 

Nayeon blinks. “The chances of that actually happening is like… close to none, right?” 

“Yeah.” Dahyun snickers, pointing at Momo whose attention is fixed firmly on Eunwoo in Tzuyu’s arms. “I doubt she’s actually planning to join the gaggle of ladies waiting for Sana and Jihyo to throw the bouquet.”

“Those ladies are desperate to get married,” Chaeng remarks, admiring the wedding ring on her finger, “Guess I lucked out in that department, huh?”

“Yeah.” Suddenly, Dahyun’s smile fades as she squints at the girls waiting for the bouquet throwing. “Wait, is that Gahyeon?”

Jeongyeon sighs, rubbing the back of her neck. Nayeon doesn’t know if she looks relieved or disappointed. Probably a mixture of both. She thinks back to what Jihyo told her before the wedding started—_there’s no such thing as the perfect moment_—and echoes the same words to her best friend.

Jeongyeon smirks at her. “When did you get so wise?” she questions.

Nayeon shrugs. “Guess I’m full of surprises,” she says, her gaze fixed on the girls forming a crowd behind the two brides. From the corner of her eye, she sees Momo finally moving away from Tzuyu and Eunwoo. Against her better judgment, she doesn’t point this out to Jeongyeon who looks agitated. She has a feeling her best friend is also searching for the right moment to ask Momo to marry her. Chaeyoung’s deal is an easy option, after all. Plus, it would seem like fate played a part if Momo _does _catch the bouquet. 

Jeongyeon just needs a little push…

The sounds of girls squealing excitedly interrupt Nayeon’s thoughts and she looks up just in time to see Sana and Jihyo throwing their bouquets over their heads. She sees it in slow motion—the way the flowers twist and turn in the air, the excited hands of the girls making grabbing motions at it and then Momo raising her head just in time to see that one of the bouquets is heading in _her _direction. Nayeon chances a glance at Jeongyeon whose mouth drops open in shock when Momo brings up her hands just in time to catch the flower.

There’s a pause.

“Holy shit,” Jeongyeon mutters, eyes wide with disbelief.

Dahyun and Chaeyoung burst out laughing. “GO GET YOUR GIRL!” they both yell, shoving Jeongyeon forward and nearly making her slip on her dress. Momo is now admiring the combination of purple and yellow tulips in the bouquet when she sees her girlfriend walking over towards her. Nayeon knows, without needing to see, that Jeongyeon probably looks constipated. Her hunch must be right because Momo’s face immediately pinches in concern once Jeong comes closer.

“I can’t watch,” Nayeon claims but she continues watching anyway. Jeongyeon grabs Momo’s hands. They’re far enough that Nayeon can’t catch what they’re talking about but she does see Jeong reaching into her purse with one hand and pulling out the red velvet box she’d shown Nayeon two nights before. 

Almost at once, Momo screams, “YES! YES! A MILLION TIMES YES!” before she’s wrapping her arms around Jeongyeon and hugging her tightly. The commotion causes the rest of the guests to look at what’s happening. Sana, once she realizes what’s going on, ends up screaming as well, “THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND! MY BEST FRIEND GOT ENGAGED AT _MY _WEDDING!” Jihyo has to do her best to calm her hysterical wife down.

“Well,” Chaeyoung says dryly, even though there’s a large, happy grin on her face, “that worked out for her.” 

Dahyun sighs and wraps her arms around Chaeyoung and Nayeon. “We’re such good bros,” she says. 

Nayeon snorts, catching sight of Gahyeon holding the other bouquet in her hand. She waves at Dahyun happily. “You might want to do something about your girlfriend soon, Dubu,” Nayeon points out, “This is the second time she caught the bouquet.” 

“Crazy, right?” Dahyun exclaims, “It’s like the universe _wants _her to get married!” 

Chaeyoung facepalms. “Bro,” she says, “I think it’s time you read the signs.”

Dahyun’s expression goes slack. It takes her several seconds to piece together what Nayeon and Chaeyoung are telling her. Then her eyes grow as wide as saucers and her arms unceremoniously drop from where they were wrapped around her two friends. “_Oh_,” is the first thing she says, looking absolutely dumbstruck, “She wants to get married.”

Nayeon leans back and pats Dahyun’s chubby cheeks. “There you go,” she coos, “Was that so hard?” 

Chaeyoung sighs. “Sometimes, you’re hopeless, bro.” 

…

(Momo is engaged and Mina’s happiness doubles for her two best friends. 

They spend the first half of the reception admiring Momo’s engagement ring and gushing about wedding dates. Even though Sana just cried during her vows, she seems ready to cry again. Mina has to constantly and carefully wipe away the tears filling her eyes. 

"I'm just," Sana tells them, clasping her hands together as she looks ready to break down again, "I'm very happy right now." 

Momo hugs her best friend and presses a swift kiss on her forehead. "I know you are," she whispers. 

Later, as Sana rejoins her new wife at their table, Momo turns to Mina and studies her quietly. It's hard not for Mina's eyes to go back and forth between her best friend and the ring on her finger. It's hard not to wonder about how it must feel; to have that new weight on you. While she does feel happy for her two friends, she also feels a bit out of place again. 

"Mina-chan," Momo suddenly begins, "I want you to be my maid-of-honor."

Mina blinks. A beat passes. Momo doesn't take back what she said. "Eh?" Mina finally squeaks, confused, "What about Satang?"

With her hand—the one with the engagement ring on her finger—Momo reaches out and holds onto her. "I want it to be you," she says firmly. Before Mina can open her mouth and refute her, the older woman shakes her head and continues, "Sana has been with me for all the important moments in my life but not you. We've been apart for too long, after all. I know there was a point where I wanted you to be the one I married but not anymore. This time, I want _you_ to be there by my side as I marry Jeongyeon." 

Mina hasn't cried the whole time she's at this wedding but with Momo holding her hand and looking at her with a large, gentle smile on her face, she can't help but let out a few tears leak out from her eyes.

"Are you sure?" she asks quietly. 

Momo nods.

"There's nothing I want more than to be your maid-of-honor," Mina says, squeezing Momo's hand and smiling brightly at her, "Thank you, Momo-chan."

Momo smirks at her. "No take-backs," she warns.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

…  
  
  


“Oh God, I’m engaged,” Jeongyeon mumbles, eyes wide as she accepts the champagne Nayeon pours for her, “I _actually _proposed to Momo right after Sana got married.”

Nayeon laughs and pats her on the shoulder. “You did it!” she says with a proud grin, “Looks like that keg stand challenge actually did some good for you, huh?” 

“It felt like my entire body was on autopilot…” Jeongyeon stares at where Momo is seated with Sana and Mina, eyes still bulging out of her pockets. She looks both deliriously happy and utterly terrified. Nayeon can only understand an inkling of how she must feel right now. “Like, my legs were carrying my body for me and my brain was telling me what to do but I was completely frozen inside. Holy _fuck_, what if she had said no? That would’ve been so _embarrassing—_”

“But she didn’t say no,” Nayeon tells her earnestly, resisting the urge to slap her best friend across the face. They’re supposed to be celebrating, after all! Jeongyeon turns her attention towards her, mouth now hanging wide open. “Did you honestly think that Momo would say no to _you_?” 

“Well, yeah,” Jeongyeon answers, head tilted to the side, “I mean—she’s a supermodel! Like, I’m just a nurse whose working terrible hours at the hospital and I—” 

This time, Nayeon _does _slap her. But softly. Well, maybe not soft enough. Enough for Jeongyeon to raise a hand to her cheek and gape like a fish out of water. Nayeon waves away the concerned glances shot her way by the rest of their friends (Momo looks like she’s halfway from storming to their table) before she looks at Jeongyeon again.

“I’m going to throw some truth up your ass.” She grins smugly before she repeats the same words Jeong told her yesterday: “It’s _okay _to be scared.”

“Who says I was scared!” Jeongyeon looks indignant. “I am perfectly fine!” Her voice cracks at the end but she shoots Nayeon a look of contempt, daring her to mention it.

Nayeon sighs. “Look at your hand.” 

Jeongyeon’s eyes drop to the hand clutching the wine glass. Her fingers are shaking. After a moment, she laughs and leans back in her seat. “Okay, maybe I am a _little _bit scared,” she mumbles, her eyes fixed on the surface of the table, “Can you blame me, though? Like… holy shit, Nabongs, this is it.” 

Nayeon smiles. “This is it,” she repeats. 

Jeongyeon raises her eyes and locks their gazes together. “I’m going to marry the love of my life soon,” she whispers and Nayeon nods, happy that the initial shock and fear of the situation has finally melted away. 

“You don’t have to rub it in my face,” she points out, “I’ll get to where you are right now. Just you wa—”

Before she can finish her sentence, the sound of a spoon clinking against glass rings throughout the beach. The two of them turn and look for the source, only to find Dahyun and Chaeyoung standing at the front of the stage with shit-eating grins on their faces. Dahyun puts down the glass and pulls out a wad of paper from her dress. “Hi, everyone,” she greets, “DubChaeng have a few words to say for the two brides.”

Nayeon spots Sana pulling out her phone and murmuring something to Jihyo who looks affronted before she sighs and nods her consent. Then it hits her. Right. The last time Dahyun cried during her speech, Sana uploaded the whole thing to the internet. Guess this must be a part two. Hopefully, Dahyun can spend the first few minutes of her speech without succumbing to a puddle of tears. Chaeyoung, on the other hand, looks very happy to be up there. 

“So,” Dahyun begins, waving at everybody, “Chaeng and I wanted to say a few special words for the women of the hour: Sana and Jihyo.”

Chaeng does a peace sign, making Nayeon laugh. “Yeah,” the younger girl adds when Dahyun nudges her not so subtly, “This is a very special day for our unnies and it wouldn’t feel right if we didn’t say something. We have a whole speech planned but I might’ve lost mine along the way. Yeah, lesson learned, don’t write your speech on tissue paper! Don’t worry, this just means that what I’ll say next comes totally from the heart.” 

Chaeyoung takes a deep breath and grabs the microphone from the stand. “Sana-unnie and Jihyo-unnie,” she starts, looking at the two brides with a toothy grin, “Thank you.Thank you so much. Thank you for always looking out for me. I’m very happy that you two found love within one another because if there’s anybody who deserves love, it’s you guys. To Sana, I met you through Tzuyu. I remember the first time I met you and Momo. You were both so protective of her. It scared me, not gonna lie. But when you found out about us getting engaged after only six months, you were the only one who supported us wholeheartedly. The others took a while to warm up to the idea. No offense, Jihyo-ah.”

The crowd laughs. Jihyo playfully rolls her eyes before gesturing for the younger girl to continue. Chaeyoung smiles, dimple on her right cheek peeking out. “I understand why Jihyo was..._apprehensive _of my relationship with Tzuyu from the beginning. You were looking out for us, as you always do. It actually came to the point that a part of me wanted to delay the wedding. But Sana was there. She showed up to my office and told me that if I wanted something, I had to go for it.”

Chaeyoung pauses, eyes glazed over. Her gaze is fixed on Tzuyu and Eunwoo sitting at the very back. Then her smile widens. “Now I have my own family,” she murmurs into the microphone, “and it’s all thanks to Sana.”

When Sana smiles, she puts the sun to shame. 

“Sana-unnie has always known what she wants,” Chaeyoung continues, “and I know that she has everything she could possibly want in Jihyo-unnie. I wish you both the best and good luck with the married life. From a married woman to another, I can only say one thing: happy wife equals happy life!” 

Nayeon chances a glance at Tzuyu who looks smug as she makes Eunwoo raise his arm in a chubby wave at Chaeng who mimics being shot in the heart. Then it’s Dahyun’s turn. Dahyun takes a deep breath and narrows her eyes at Sana giving her a thumbs-up while she continues to film the whole thing. After a moment, the blonde looks down at the sheet of paper she has in her hands and begins, “When I first met Park Jihyo, it was in middle school. She was friends with two of the coolest unnies I knew back then. At first, I thought Jihyo was stuck-up and a know-it-all. No offense, unnie, I love you.”

Sana laughs and kisses the offended look on Jihyo’s face away. 

“But,” Dahyun quickly adds, her eyes shining, “I realize that Jihyo stopping our pranks or scolding us for not studying harder wasn’t stuck-up behavior, it was her way of showing us that she loves us.”

Dahyun’s speech has the opposite effect of Chaeyoung’s. The guests are silent but attentive. Nayeon looks around to see her friends’ reactions: Jeongyeon looks proud, Momo and Mina have identical smiles on their faces, Tzuyu and Eunwoo have their hands raised in support and Gahyeon is mouthing words, having clearly memorized Dahyun’s speech as well. Then Nayeon looks over to where the brides are seated. Sana is still recording but the playful grin from before has faded. Jihyo, on the other hand, looks ready to cry. 

“Chaeng and I never had the luxury of being born with older sisters,” Dahyun goes on and the paper she holds in her hand shakes ever so slightly, “but Jihyo is the best one we’ve gotten. Don’t get me wrong, Nayeon and Jeongyeon are like sisters to us too but with Jihyo, it’s different. She’s always been there for us. Even though her two best friends moved away to Seoul and she could have more opportunities outside our small town, she stayed behind. For me and Chaeng. Because she knew that we’d get in trouble if she wasn’t around. She didn’t have to do that but she did.”

It takes Nayeon a while to realize she’s crying. It takes her longer to notice her friends are as well. Dahyun’s words _resonate_. Nayeon has always been grateful for Jihyo—she’s glad everybody else feels the same way.

“I’m happy that Jihyo has somebody who can be there for her too,” Dahyun goes on. She isn’t crying but her eyes are bright with unshed tears; “and I’m even happier that she found that with Sana. I haven’t known Sana like Jihyo but I know that you guys deserve each other. From what Chaeng said in her speech, it’s clear you’ve spent a while making sure other people were happy. Now it’s your turn. Congratulations and we love you both!” 

Dahyun hasn’t even finished with her speech before Jihyo is standing up from her seat and nearly tripping over her wedding dress just to get to where DubChaeng are. Nayeon watches as the bride wraps them both in a heartfelt hug. Dahyun laughs, hugging Jihyo back. Chaeyoung’s eyes suddenly water and then she’s sobbing into Jihyo’s shoulder. It’s like seeing a mom hug her children right before they leave for college. Nayeon stands up, intent on joining them, before Jeongyeon pulls her right back down.

“Let them have this,” the younger girl says, eyes red-rimmed. 

Nayeon sighs and leans back in her chair. “Fine,” she mutters, “but I’m hugging all of you later.” 

Jeongyeon nods, the smile never leaving her face. “Looking forward to it, then.” 

…

(Mina taps Nayeon on the shoulder just as the song _Perfect _starts playing in the background. Sana and Jihyo have already finished with their first dance as wives. Now they’re just casually talking on the dance floor, unable to look away from each other. It’s sickeningly sweet. Mina can’t help but feel envious.

Nayeon turns to her, eyebrows raised in question. 

“May I have this dance?” Mina asks, one hand stretched out.

“You can have all my dances, you know,” Nayeon says cheekily before she takes Mina’s hand and leads them to the center.

Mina puts her chin on Nayeon’s shoulder and breathes her in. They sway to the music, no words exchanged between them. It’s enough to just enjoy each other’s presence. Unfortunately, their moment is interrupted by somebody clearing their throat behind them. 

“Hi,” Sana greets, looking at Nayeon, “Do you mind if I steal Mina for a bit?” 

“Normally, I would,” Nayeon responds, sighing loudly as she lets go of her girlfriend, “but what the bride wants, the bride gets.”

Mina narrows her eyes at Sana as her friend pulls her towards the dance floor. When she looks around, she sees Jihyo and Chaeyoung dancing, Dahyun holding Eunwoo in her arms as Tzuyu hovers near them, Momo asking Nayeon to dance and Jeongyeon looking ready to go through another breakdown before she manages to calm herself. Mina’s mouth curls into a smile at their own accord, a smile which Sana quickly mirrors.

“It’s a good day,” Sana says, eyes bright as she surveys her reception, “I’m very happy right now.”

“You should be,” Mina tells her, “You deserve it.” 

Sana’s smile turns a bit shy as they continue to dance. Their arms are laced each other’s neck, holding each other close. Mina can’t help but stare at Sana’s face; at the warmth and joy in her hazel eyes, the tiny scrunch of her nose and the gentle smile on her mouth.

“Momo told me you’re her maid-of-honor,” Sana says. 

At once, Mina’s entire body stiffens but the older girl just laughs and shakes her head. “Don’t feel bad about it,” she says, “I’m glad she did. I don’t think I can handle the stress of that title. Imagine all the wedding planning you guys have to go to. You need to decide on a date, what the color scheme is, what cake you want to have. Gosh, it’s a mess! But don’t you dare think that I won’t be there when you guys try on wedding dre—”

“Will you be my maid-of-honor?” The words have already slipped past Mina’s lips before she realizes what has happened. Still, she doesn’t take them back. Because now that they’re out in the open, she realizes that she wants it. She wants Sana to be her maid-of-honor. 

Sana’s eyes widen as the words hit her. “Eh? Are you sure? What about Momo? Or even Chaeyoung? Dahyun? Tzuyu? Jeongyeon? Jihyo? You have so many options, Minari.”

Mina relaxes her hold on Sana and runs her hands down Sana’s shoulders to grip her arms tightly. “I know,” she says, “but I want it to be you.”

Sana glances over her shoulder to look at Nayeon still dancing with Momo. “Has she proposed to you?” she asks, her voice low, “You can still change your mind if she hasn’t yet.” 

Mina shakes her head. “Nayeon hasn’t asked me but I’m not changing my mind.”

“Mina-chan—”

“_Satang_.” Mina takes hold of her hands and squeezes them tight. “I want it to be you.”

Sana shoots her a calculative look. “Why me?”

Mina doesn’t even have to think about it. She’s thought of this so many times before, especially after she got together with Nayeon. So she makes sure to look Sana in the eye as she says the following: “Because if it weren't for you, I would be in America right now and Nayeon would be with… someone not me.”

Sana purses her lips, looking like she’s going to refute her statement but Mina shakes her head, adamant to get her way. The song changes again. This time, they’re playing _Can’t Help Falling In Love With You_. Mina notices Jihyo glancing at Sana from the other side of the room so she takes a step back.

“Your wife’s waiting,” she says.

Sana follows her gaze but looks back at her again. “Are you sure?” The question isn’t about Jihyo, Mina knows. 

“I’m positive,” she answers. 

At long last, the smile returns to Sana’s face. It’s blinding, like the first rays of sunlight bleeding through your window early in the morning. Mina feels warm at the sight of it. Sana has always reminded her of the sun—happy and bright, full of life and love, Mina’s source of strength when she needs it the most. Perfect for being her maid-of-honor.

“Mitang,” Sana says fondly, surprising her with a hug, “thank you.”

Mina hugs her back just as tightly. “No, thank _you_,” she murmurs, closing her eyes and burying her face on Sana’s neck, “for everything.” She sucks in a deep breath. “If it weren’t for you—”

“You give me too much credit,” Sana whispers into her ear, cutting her off gently, “If you left for America back then, do you honestly think Nayeon wouldn’t drop everything to chase you down?”

…

Nayeon doesn’t get to finish her dance with Mina that night. 

Instead, she finds herself interacting with the rest of their friends, eager to share in the happiness she feels at being reunited with all of them once more. By tomorrow morning, Sana and Jihyo will enjoy their honeymoon, Jeongyeon and Momo will fly back to Seoul, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu have a baby to take care of and Dahyun still needs to figure out her plans with Gahyeon. The time they have together, while precious, is limited. Nayeon makes sure to go to each one of them before the night ends. 

She takes pictures of Sana and Jihyo and uploads them into her Instagram. The captions are fully of sappy words she’d never say out loud to Jihyo. Judging by the smug look on her best friend’s face, it’s clear she still appreciates it. Sana, on the other hand, seems to be dropping lots of hints about Nayeon and Mina getting married in the near future. “You’ll tell me when you guys get engaged too, right, Nayeon-unnie?” she coos, eyes sparkling. 

Later on, she lets Momo snap pictures of her and Jeongyeon using her brand new camera. The recently engaged couple can’t stop gravitating towards each other. Each time Momo turns the camera towards her fiancé, Jeongyeon smirks. Like she’s proud she’s the center of Momo’s attention in the first place. Nayeon wants to make a joke but she doesn’t. She thinks Jeongyeon deserves a little break from her on this marvelous day. 

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu are the first to call it a day. Eunwoo keeps crying the whole time, possibly because he’s been awake for more than five hours. Even though they both look tired, the two parents can’t stop smiling. Nayeon offers to hold the baby in her arms while the married couple take one last spin on the dance floor. The grateful look they give her is worth Eunwoo puking on her arm because she was rocking him too much.

When Nayeon takes a seat next to Dahyun a few minutes before midnight, the first thing the younger girl asks is, “Do you think Gahyeon will say yes to me if I asked her to marry me right now?” The question makes them both laugh, even though the blonde looks very serious about it. “I know you and Chaeyoung share the same brain cell,” Nayeon says, “but maybe you should consider buying a ring first?”

Once Nayeon has spent time with her friends, she finds Mina waiting for her back at their table. 

“Time to go?” Mina asks, rising to her feet. She smiles widely and her silver tooth gleams under the sparkling lights. 

Nayeon takes her hand, fingers intertwining with her own, and nods. At the end of the day, Mina is the one she’ll return to. It’s like gravity. Pulling her in. Keeping her close. Never letting her go.

…

(When they get to their hotel room, Mina is quick to take a shower. She asks Nayeon to join her but for some reason, her girlfriend declines and heads over to the bed. She seems pensive, like she’s thinking about something important. Mina wants to reach out and ask her what’s wrong but she doesn’t. Despite being worried, she has this feeling in her gut, telling her to trust Nayeon. Even though they’ve spent the past three years together, there are times like this where Mina can’t read Nayeon’s mind. 

Before, it would’ve scared her.

Now it doesn’t.)

…

While Mina is in the shower, Nayeon takes out the red velvet box she has hidden in the sock drawer and stares at the ring inside. It weighs different now. Lighter, somehow. She remembers how heavy it felt when they got to Hawaii and how it was something she couldn’t stop thinking about. She thinks about Jihyo’s words: _there’s no such thing as a perfect moment_. 

She understands. 

When she hears the shower stop, she hides the box again.

…

(“Your turn,” Mina says as she comes out of the bathroom, feeling refreshed and sore after a day in heels. Nayeon glances at her over her shoulder, hovering by the bedside table. She’s wearing an unreadable expression on her face. The sight of it sets Mina on edge. What’s on her mind? What is she thinking about? She resists the urge to ask. She knows Nayeon will come to her when she’s ready to talk about it. 

“I’ll be quick,” the older girl says, grabbing a towel and entering the bathroom. But not before pressing a quick kiss on Mina’s lips. 

Mina smiles, blushing at the gesture. Nayeon always gets sappy when she least expects it. Sometimes, she doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to it.)

…

When Nayeon steps out of the bathroom, Mina is seated by the edge of the bed, scrolling through her phone and watching all the videos they took that night. A small smile plays on her lips, eyes crinkled around the corners. They don’t say anything to each other as Nayeon changes into a fresh pair of clothes, choosing one of Mina’s university shirts and some jean shorts to wear. Just as she’s about to grab the remote for the TV, she feels a pair of arms slip around her waist.

“Hi,” Mina says against her ear, “Took you long enough.”

Nayeon hums, leaning into her touch. “I only took a half bath.”

“Still…”

“You’re such a big baby.” Nayeon decides to forsake the remote and reach for her phone instead. Mina doesn’t let go, content on being her koala bear for the time being. When they’re in public, it’s often Nayeon who reaches out and displays her affection blatantly but behind closed doors, it’s Mina who clings to her. The thought makes her feel warm all over.

It’s quiet for a few seconds as Nayeon checks her notifications on her phone with Mina’s chin perched on her shoulder.

Then Mina says, with a slight whine in her voice, "We didn't get to finish our dance."

Nayeon smiles, nodding along. With her girlfriend still wrapped behind her, she reaches for the earphone in her purse and searches for the Ed Sheeran song that was playing during their dance earlier. Mina, seeing what she’s doing, lets go of her waist and steps back. Then Nayeon plugs in the earphones to her phone, places the left earbud on the younger girl's ear before putting the other one in her own. Then she starts the song. Mina's arms come up to wrap around her neck, pulling her close until their foreheads are pressed against each other and their lips are a few inches apart. Nayeon inhales deeply, arms encircling around her girlfriend's waist. She closes her eyes and lets the song fill the silence between them.

They slow dance to the music, each step lazy but certain. Nobody is leading but they remain in sync, hearts slowly beating against each other's chest. Wherever Mina goes, Nayeon follows. What Nayeon does, Mina isn't far behind. The song starts on the chorus and Mina's hands move from behind Nayeon's neck and then to her face, palming her cheeks. She holds her like this for several long seconds, sharing in the same air, and Nayeon opens her eyes to find Mina looking at her with the softest look on her face. 

"Hi," Nayeon says quietly. The moment feels so precious—she wants to take it in her hands and hold it close to her heart. Every second with Mina feels like a blessing, especially after everything they've been through, and she doesn't understand how somebody so beautiful and alluring could possibly love the mess that she is. 

"I love you," Mina murmurs, gaze never leaving hers, “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

Nayeon remembers the ring hidden in the sock drawer and smiles. “I love you too,” she whispers and then tilts her Mina’s chin up with her finger to kiss her.

The kiss quickly deepens as the song shifts to the chorus. Nayeon feels overwhelmed. The whole time they've been in this wedding, Mina has barely left her thoughts. Her touch is electrifying, her kisses leave burning marks in their wake and the press of her body against hers reminds Nayeon of how alive she is. Ever since she met Mina, a part of her believed that she was born simply to love her. And if spends the rest of her life doing so, she wouldn't mind it at all.

Mina pulls away suddenly, eyes dark with lust, and Nayeon chases after her lips. "Wait, wait," the younger girl says, laughing quietly. 

Nayeon groans as she feels her girlfriend put a firm hand on her chest. "What is it?" she asks, wanting nothing more than to resume their session. 

In response, the younger girl pulls out both of the earphones and gently tugs them off. Then she steps out of Nayeon's embrace and places them, along with the phone, safely on the bedside table. "Wouldn't want to ruin perfectly good earphones," she says, smirking. But instead of returning to Nayeon's arms, she stands by the bed, the glow of the lamp illuminating her face in warm, orange light, and stays there. 

The sight is disorienting. Nayeon remembers three years ago—the two of them standing across each other back at Chaeyoung and Tzuyu's wedding, Mina with tears in her eyes and Nayeon with her heart in her throat. She remembers the sadness and heartbreak in Mina's face when she asked: "_Why are you so afraid of loving me back?_" She remembers breaking her own heart when she answered: "_Because I don't_."

She finds her voice after a few seconds of staring. "I'm sorry," she says, wincing at how rough her voice sounds to her own ears. 

Mina frowns, a tiny crease appearing between her eyebrows. "What for?" she asks. 

"For hurting you all those years ago," Nayeon answers, sighing when the confusion in her girlfriend's eyes clear, "I know that you forgave me already. It's just… this wedding reminded me of a few things, you know." 

Silence. 

"I know how you feel," Mina says after a moment and she opens her arms, urging Nayeon to fall into them, which she does half a second later, "Weddings will never be the same, huh?" 

Nayeon hums against her shoulder, pressing closer. "Yeah," she agrees, "the last time we were at a wedding, I broke your heart." 

Mina doesn't say anything, content in listening. Nayeon traces patterns on her back, spelling out _I love you _in Hangul. When she feels Mina doing the same thing, her lips twitch into a soft smile. 

"But," she adds quietly, "I think _this_ wedding has erased all the bad memories associated with the last one we attended." 

"Thank God," Mina remarks, drawing out a laugh from her girlfriend, "I wouldn't want you to think of more bad stuff at _our _wedding." 

Nayeon pauses, her heart stilling in her chest. Mina must notice how stiff she's gone in her arms because she pulls back with a chuckle. "I'm not pressuring you or anything," she says, smiling so widely that her silver tooth gleams, "but I was just thinking about it. Hard not to, after what happened today."

A large, excitable and impulsive part of Nayeon wants to grab the ring from the sock drawer and propose right there and then but she doesn't. Despite what Jihyo told her earlier about the perfect moment not existing, she bids her time again. "You've thought of us getting married already?" she cheekily asks, tracing Mina's lips with her thumb, "What do you have in mind?" 

Mina rolls her eyes playfully. "We've discussed this before," she points out.

"That was a long time ago."

"You've forgotten my ideal wedding, Nayeonnie?" Mina pretends to be offended but the older girl just laughs and shakes her head.

"Course not," she says, trying to keep her face from betraying the truth even though her heart is racing painfully inside her chest, "but I want you to describe it again." 

Mina hums, lower lip jutting out. Nayeon leans forward and presses a soft kiss on her temple, right where her eyebrows have formed a crease. Her hands, which were wrapped around Mina's waist, move to touch the small exposed skin of her girlfriend's stomach. "Pretty please?" she quietly asks when she hears Mina suck in a breath. 

"I want our wedding to be in Japan," Mina murmurs, leaning into her girlfriend's warmth. Nayeon moves her lips down to the tip of the younger girl's nose. "There's a beach my parents used to take us to when Kai and I were little. I remember building sandcastles with him and sitting on my dad's shoulders when we went into the water. Mom was always behind, making us snacks and telling us to wear sunscreen." 

As Mina talks, Nayeon kisses her every part of her face—from the tip of her nose to her left cheek, then her right and then under her lower lip. Mina shivers each time. The moment feels heavy but not the kind of heavy that weighs you down but the kind that tells you there's something in the air and you must seize it. Nayeon can hear her heart pounding in her eardrums, reminding her of the life in her veins and the life she wants to have with Mina in the near future. 

"We'll invite our friends and family," Mina continues, her skin breaking out in goosebumps when Nayeon raises her fingers and drags them down the length of her arms; "Sana will be my maid-of-honor and you'll have Jeong and Jihyo as yours. The rest of the group will be bridesmaids. The main color scheme will be purple—your favorite color, of course. It'll match with shades of gold and white."

Nayeon nods along, lips now ghosting down Mina's neck. At Mina's pulse point, she sticks her tongue out and laps gently at the skin. This makes Mina stifle a soft moan in the back of her throat, trying to remain calm under her girlfriend's wandering touches. "What else?" Nayeon asks, mouth curling into a sly grin.

"I was thinking of asking your favorite singer IU to sing for us," Mina says. Nayeon pauses and looks up to give the younger girl an amused look. "But," she goes on, "if we can't, then we'll find the next best thing: a band. It'll play all our favorite songs. Like Taylor Swift's _Lover_, you know?" 

"Hmm." Nayeon resumes kissing Mina's neck. Soft enough for it to be felt but also soft enough to leave her girlfriend wanting more. "And then?" 

"There's an old church by that same beach," Mina continues, moving her hands to grip at Nayeon's biceps, "We could hold the ceremony there. It's close enough that we can hear the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore and we can smell the salt in the air." 

"You love the ocean." It's not a question but a statement. Nayeon raises her head, cups Mina's face with her hands and presses their temples together. She closes her eyes and breathes in the soft scent of the soap they both used earlier. 

"Not as much as I love you," Mina whispers. 

Nayeon bumps their noses together, sighing contently. "How do you want the church decorated?" she questions. She can feel the warmth of Mina's hands on her skin, burning through her clothes. Slowly but surely, her heart rate goes down. The initial spike of anxiety and excitement at the mention of a wedding has faded away. Now Nayeon feels calm. Wanting, aching and lusting… but _calm_.

"Simple," Mina responds, leaning forward to try and catch Nayeon's lips but the older girl leans back everytime she does so. "_Nayeonnie_." There's a hint of frustration in the back of the younger girl's throat, one that takes them both by surprise. 

Nayeon chuckles, enjoying the push and pull. She can feel Mina pressing more insistently against her body. The familiar ache starts up in her navel, making her warm and needy. Not yet, though. She needs to hear the rest of Mina's ideal wedding, even though she knows it by heart already. Keeping her eyes closed, she goes on to ask, "What else do you want?"

All she gets is silence. Nayeon opens her eyes to find Mina watching her with hooded lids. A moment passes. Then the younger girl leans up and captures her mouth in a slow and languid kiss. 

"It doesn't matter," she says against her mouth. When Nayeon tilts her head in a silent question, Mina clarifies: "It doesn't matter what my wedding will look like. As long as it's you I'm marrying.”

Nayeon feels her heart swoop. It's one thing to have Mina show her she loves her with every look, every touch and every kiss, it's another to have it said out loud. The words hang in the air between them and hearing their weight gives an opposite effect to how Nayeon feels. Before, she would've felt terrified, confused, undeserving even. But now, it's _exactly _what she needs to hear. 

"Okay, I'm yours," she murmurs, nodding slowly, "I'm here—"

"—I've always been here," Mina finishes for her.

When they kiss again, Nayeon takes her time. It's slow, unhurried and explorative. She's spent the past years memorizing the curves and details of her girlfriend's body: the moles on her face, the calluses on her palms, the scars on her skin. Every now and then, she'll find something new. Like a bruise from Mina hitting her knee under a table or a tiny birthmark she didn't spot the first time. Nayeon takes great pride in knowing she's Mina's first in everything—first girlfriend, first kiss, first lover. Even though Nayeon can't offer her the same thing, it helps to know they'll be each other's lasts. 

Soon enough, Nayeon feels Mina slip her tongue in between her mouth. The atmosphere changes quickly. The wandering touches from before have now shifted, charged with a newfound purpose—to feel the same sensation of being skin-on-skin. Nayeon draws in a shuddering breath and pushes Mina forward. The back of Mina's knees hit the mattress behind her, making her stumble back into a sitting position. A low growl vibrates deep in Nayeon's chest as she straddles her girlfriend, refusing to part their lips for even a split second. 

Mina's hands travel in an upward motion on Nayeon's back, fingernails digging almost painfully into her skin. Then she slips them under her shirt, the warmth of her palms setting a contrast from the air-conditioned hotel room. Nayeon's mind is now foggy with want and need. Every kiss, every touch, every press of their bodies together just urges her on and on. 

When Nayeon feels Mina's deft fingers unclasp her bra, she pulls back with a sly smirk. "Well, hello there," she says in a husky voice, "somebody's excited." 

Mina raises an eyebrow in response. "I don't see you complaining," she murmurs cheekily. Then she presses soft kisses under Nayeon's jaw, tracing a path down her neck, while her hands tug insistently at the shirt separating them from having that blessed skin-on-skin contact. Nayeon throws her head back, relying on Mina for support as she's peppered with kisses from that glorious mouth of hers. While Nayeon is distracted, Mina successfully takes off her shirt and bra up in one motion, leaving her girlfriend half-naked and still straddling her. 

Mina's warm hands serve as a reminder for Nayeon that she's half naked and her girlfriend isn't. As Mina continues to kiss her, she leans forward and reaches behind Mina to unlock her bra. The younger girl, in response, bites down on the skin of her neck, sucking and licking until she leaves a mark.

"Off," Nayeon requests roughly, gesturing to the shirt her girlfriend seriously has no business wearing right now. Mina obliges and within seconds, they're both topless. 

Just as Nayeon is about to push Mina down the bed, the younger girl grabs her wrist and flips their positions. This leaves Nayeon on her back, staring up at her girlfriend's dark, lustful eyes. Everytime Mina takes the lead, it always turns her on and she can feel the familiar heat pooling right in her navel. It makes her thighs twitch in anticipation. 

"You didn't let me return the favor," Mina murmurs, leaning down and continuing the path from Nayeon's neck down her chest. 

"Huh?"

"Bathroom," Mina gently reminds. In the back of Nayeon's mind, she remembers how two days ago, she pressed Mina up against the bathroom tiles and drove her fingers into her. But the image is quickly thrown out of the window when she feels Mina grip her sides, mouth now tracing circles all over her chest and tongue darting out to wrap around her pert nipples. The sensation is electrifying. Nayeon's heart continues to race, fast enough she's pretty sure Mina can feel it against her lips. She arches her back, fists clutching at the sheets, as Mina's fingers travel down to tap patiently on her shorts.

This time, it’s Mina who says, “Off.” 

Nayeon greedily obliges, arching her back and letting Mina pull her shorts off from her legs. Her underwear soon follows. Now she’s naked, lying on her back, with her girlfriend worshipping her body like a sinner searching for redemption at the foot of the cross. Mina is warm and soft, her touches gentle and her gaze filled with such reverence it fills Nayeon with a tight feeling in her chest. A voice in the back of her head whispers that she doesn’t deserve such love and devotion but it’s quickly pushed out of her mind when Mina returns to kissing her chest, fingers brushing against her nipples and making Nayeon stifle a moan in the back of her throat.

It occurs to Nayeon, a few seconds later, that her hands have been clutching the sheets uselessly. This time, she brings them up to Mina’s shoulders, urging her on and gripping her skin tightly. Mina sucks in a deep breath at the force of her grip but she doesn’t stop. Thank God she doesn’t because Nayeon doesn’t think she’ll be able to handle it if she does. When the younger girl repositions herself so that she’s lying in between Nayeon’s legs, their gazes meet. 

“Hi,” Nayeon says, bringing her hand up and running her fingers through Mina’s tousled hair. She knows her girlfriend can feel the heat between her legs and how it aches for her because Mina’s cheeks are flushed red and her eyes have darkened considerably. 

“Hi,” Mina says in return, smiling broadly at her.

“I love you,” Nayeon murmurs, bringing their faces close together and reconnecting their lips again. 

Mina doesn’t respond. Not because she doesn’t feel the same way but because she chooses to show Nayeon how much she really does love her. As their lip lock deepens and Nayeon’s breathing finally evens out after she’s been peppered with kisses from the younger girl, Mina’s right hand travels down the length of Nayeon’s side and touches her thigh.

It’s like an electric shock—feeling the warmth of Mina’s hand on her cool skin. But they don’t stop kissing. When Mina’s fingers come in between their joined bodies, all Nayeon does is take a deep shuddering breath against her lips and squeezes her eyes shut. Her entire body tightens when she feels Mina’s fingers brush against her center. She wants it so bad it feels like her mind is going to explode. 

The slow build-up is starting to get to her. So, with as much patience as she can muster, which isn’t a lot in this situation, she hikes up one leg and wraps it around Mina’s waist, giving her hand the necessary space it needs to bring Nayeon to the release she desperately needs. Mina lets out a surprised but otherwise pleased noise at the back of her throat, which Nayeon greedily swallows with more kisses, arms wrapping around her neck to pull her closer. 

Mina’s thumb press against her clit and Nayeon has to bite back a groan. She pulls back from kissing her girlfriend and buries her face into her neck instead. Finally, Mina takes the hint and starts moving through the warmth waiting for her in Nayeon’s center. With her thumb rubbing into at the nub and the rest of her fingers spreading the wetness that has accumulated in Nayeon’s folds, Mina is gentle. Her other hand cradles Nayeon’s head, keeping them pressed together. Nayeon’s pretty sure Mina can feel how her heart stutters inside her ribcage when her fingers _finally _sink in.

Nayeon moans, unable to help it. She can feel her thighs trembling as Mina slowly eases in and out. It feels so _good _that her head spins and all she can think about is _Mina_—Mina breathing unsteadily next to her, Mina using her other arm to keep her secure, Mina exploring her core like it’s the first time they’re doing this when they’ve done this so many times already. Nayeon feels like she can’t breathe. She throws her head back onto the pillow behind her when Mina picks up the pace. This time, Mina shifts, raising her upper body so that she can angle her hand better. The change in position is enough to make stars pop up behind Nayeon’s eyelids. 

“Fuck,” she lets out, opening her eyes to find Mina towering over her, eyebrows furrowed together and bottom lip caught between her teeth. 

Mina doesn’t stop. With her fingers still inside Nayeon, she sits up and lets her other hand cup her girlfriend’s breasts, thumb brushing against sensitive nipples. Nayeon raises one arm and covers her eyes, choosing to close off her vision so that she can better focus on the rising pleasure in the pit of her navel. Her entire body is warm and tight, like it’s holding itself together before it inevitably melts into a puddle.

“Nayeonnie,” Mina calls, sounding breathless, “look at me.” 

Nayeon doesn’t move.

“_Nayeonnie_.” 

This time, Mina stops fondling with her breasts and pulls Nayeon’s arm away from her eyes. Then she intertwines their fingers together. Nayeon meets Mina’s expectant gaze. What she sees swirling in those darkened orbs is a mixture of determination and affection. Nayeon cries out when Mina, if it’s even possible, quickens her pace. She doesn’t take her eyes off her though. 

The orgasm, when it comes, takes her by surprise. It feels like flying in a way, her heart pounding inside her ribcage as Mina takes her to a place higher than heaven. The warm knot in the pit of her navel collapses altogether and she arches her back as the familiar and hot waves of pleasure overwhelm her. She squeezes around Mina’s fingers, both in the ones found inside her and the ones she’s holding in her hand.

Then it’s over and Nayeon feels like she just ran a thousand miles. It takes several seconds for her breathing to even out and for her heart to stop racing so bad. She lets her body rest, even though she wants nothing more than to return the favor...

Mina pulls her hand back and wipes it on the sheets. Then she curls into Nayeon’s side, lying on her stomach and watching her catch her breath. 

“Good?” Mina asks, grinning wickedly.

“Better,” Nayeon mumbles, feeling parched all of a sudden, “Give me a second—”

Mina silences her with a soft kiss. “It’s okay,” she murmurs, grabbing the blanket by the foot of their bed and throwing it over nude bodies, “I just wanted to return the favor from two days ago.”

“Are you sure?” Nayeon flips to her side so that they’re facing each other, exhaling a deep breath, “I don’t mind—”

“Yes.” Mina traces her girlfriend’s face with her fingers, gaze warm and gentle. “I’m sure.” 

It hits Nayeon right there and then—just how much she loves Mina and just how much Mina loves her. Despite her many flaws and reckless mistakes, they’re still together. Always have been, always will be. And when they’re apart, it’s like the worst thing in the world. She thinks about their relationship—how it started and how it hasn’t ended, even though there were so many moments where she felt like Mina deserved better. And yet, here she is, looking at Nayeon like she’s all she’s ever wanted. For the first time, Nayeon doesn’t doubt that look. 

Three years is a long time, after all.

But suddenly, it doesn’t feel long enough. She wants more. She wants _forever_. Looking at Mina right now, Nayeon finally understands what Jihyo meant by the perfect moment. 

With her eyes never leaving Mina’s, Nayeon whispers, “Marry me.”

…

(At first, Mina thinks she’s dreaming.

“Marry me,” Nayeon says, her voice raw, full of hope and love.

Mina’s heart races. She doesn’t think she heard it right the first time but Nayeon is still looking at her expectantly. “Is this for real?” she asks, her voice so low she herself didn’t even hear it.

Nayeon nods. “It is.”

During this entire wedding, she listened to her friends talk about proposals, weddings and bridesmaids and never expected it to happen to her soon. With Sana and Jihyo’s wedding and Jeongyeon’s proposal to Momo, she didn’t think Nayeon had any plans on following her friends’ path.

A part of her was content in waiting for Nayeon to propose to her. Good things come to those who wait, after all. But sometimes, you don’t even realize you want something so bad until it’s being offered to you right there and then. This is how she feels now, as she watches Nayeon’s eyes flicker with anxiety the more the silence stretches on. She wants this. She wants Nayeon. She wants her so bad she can’t imagine anybody else asking her to marry her...

“Ask me again,” she murmurs, feeling like a part of her brain has stopped working. She needs to hear it again. Just to be sure. 

Nayeon tries to sit up. “I have a ring,” she tells her instead, “and I had this whole thing planned in my head. Like I was supposed to take you to the beach where we’d walk by the shore. When the sun sets, I’d go down on one knee and ask you to be my wife. But then Chaeng and Jihyo were like telling me that I shouldn’t be worrying about finding the perfect moment or like worrying if you’d regret saying yes to me. So I put it off and I’ve been putting it off ever since we got here. Then Jeongyeon told me that she wanted to propose to Momo too and it got me thinking that I really wanted to ask you as well but—”

“Nayeon.” Mina sits up as well and takes her girlfriend’s hand. “Breathe.”

Nayeon looks at her, eyes wide and vulnerable. Then she nods, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles, “It’s just—you deserve everything and I want to give you everything.”

The words make Mina warm all over. As she tries to come up with an adequate response, Nayeon takes her silence as a sign to keep going: “It’s just—you’re the love of my life, Mina-yah. I love you and there’s literally nobody else I want to spend the rest of my life with than you—”

“So ask me,” Mina interrupts gently, unable to stop her lips from curling into a wide smile, “Ask me again.”

There’s a pause.

Nayeon closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she opens them again, their depths are clear. She knows what she wants and she wants Mina. This knowledge weighs heavily in Mina’s mind but it’s not a burden. It only serves to remind her that she wants Nayeon too.

Now and forever.

“Myoui Mina,” Nayeon begins, reaching out and holding both of Mina’s hands in her own, “Will you marry me?” 

Mina nods, feeling tears sting the back of her eyes. She feels like she’s on cloud nine. She’s so happy she can’t even say the most important word she’s going to say in her entire life without choking up. “Yes,” she manages to say, laughing when Nayeon dramatically sighs in relief, “Did you honestly think I was going to say no?”

Later, when Nayeon finally slips the diamond ring on her finger, it still feels like a dream. Mina stares at it in wonder, thinking that it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. Then she raises her eyes and sees Nayeon looking at her with such reverence in her gaze it makes her warm all over again.

Scratch that—it’s the second most beautiful thing in the world.

“Nayeonnie,” she murmurs, leaning into her, “did you mean it?” 

“Mean what?”

“That I deserve everything?”

Nayeon nods, meeting her gaze. “Of course I did.”

“Good.” Mina leans forward, kissing her fiancé soundly on the lips. When the kiss ends, she reaches up and curls her fingers on the back of Nayeon’s neck, keeping her close. Then she whispers, “Because it’s _you_—you’re everything. You’ve always been everything to me.”)

...

_fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning to post another Minayeon story! This time, with Nayeon as an idol and Mina as her manager. It won't be posted for a while but it's definitely in the works already. You can find the premise of it here: https://twitter.com/miabasher4lyf/status/1214181744322195456
> 
> If you want to support me in any way, here are important links for you to find:
> 
> my Twitter: @miabasher4lyf  
my CC: https://curiouscat.me/miabasher4lyf  
my ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/forbiddenquill
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you have a nice day!

**Author's Note:**

> Find me at @miabasher4lyf on Twitter!


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